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My Filipina wife is submissive?


Is the submissive Filipina a myth?  

152 members have voted

  1. 1. This poll is about your Filipina wife.

    • My Filipina wife is submissive.
      35
    • We talk and make decisions together.
      81
    • My Filipina wife is stubborn and does not listen.
      37


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I'm missing the option "all of the above".

My gf is submissive in way, compared to most western woman. She will do her best to please me as long as I don't ask her anything which is completly against her standards.

She can also be very stubborn with some things.

And most of the time we talk and make decisions together. Which means listening what each has to say and try to find out the best ideas about something, no matter who brought them up. This works much better with her than with my ex. She does not act defensive if I have a different opinion on something, but she will state her opinion as well. Sometimes I do feel like in the end we mostly do what she wanted from the beginning though. lol But she makes me feel like it's what I want, hahaha You guys must know this feeling.

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Why put a negative label like 'submissive' on something that is perfect? A western women's word used to threaten the 'competition'? Filipinas rule in love, understanding, commitment and patience wi

I think that is the key. I'm not quite married yet, but there are times when my fiancee' says, "I can do that for you." or "I will do that for you." and the things she is talking about doing for me w

THIS IS JUST MY OPINION NOT NECESSARILY FACT. I believe, because divorce is not legal in most cases in the Philippines, that Filipinas are raised seeing that the wife does whatever it takes to keep t

Sometimes I do feel like in the end we mostly do what she wanted from the beginning though. lol But she makes me feel like it's what I want, hahaha You guys must know this feeling.

 

Yes I know that feeling well. Sometimes I look back and wonder how she did it.

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We talk and make our majority decisions together. However, she expect me to be the provider, protector to our family, take charge. I'm the head, and mostly make the final decisions in our marriage(we have 2 children, and she is currently pregnant with our 3rd). My wife doesn't ask me to send any money to her family circle in RP..Regardless, I send her Mom money or gifts on special occians, like her birthday, xmas. I made it clear before marriage that I wasn't going to be a walking ATM machine, milk cow :D I'm 55, she's 31. Life is great being married to my mahal ;)

Edited by aldengs
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Well, yes, I think Filipinas are somewhat submissive depending on the circumstances. They will often defer to husbands and their elders, quite often (read almost always) to their parents and even a Tita or Tito can have a lot of sway in their lives. I much appreciate my Sweet SO's submissiveness, at least compared to many American women. She will actually forgive my faults. She will let me make decisions even if they are a mistake. Often she is right, so we are back at the forgiveness part, something that rarely happened with most of the American women and when it did, was only provisional, meaning that it could be recalled and unforgiven at her (American) whim. Rarely are past mistakes held up to me except to gently remind me of my fallibility when I am about to make another.

 

Having been through the cycle a few times now, generally it is best to discuss. As pointed out, if a Filipina doesn't have any experience or frame of reference, they will often defer. And we have to balance our different cultural views so that neither of us feel like we are being held out to dry ... emotionally or whatever.

 

Note: I can think of exceptions to almost everything I said here. Nothing is carved in stone. But, in general, they are my personal experience(s).

Edited by Tatoosh
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Hmmmmmm...the Norwegian guy? ;)

 

Wives are submissive as long as their husbands are treating them right.

But if they don't maybe something is wrong with the relationship.

If she starts being stubborn and hard headed, and keep saying no time to sit down and talk.

Assessing what's wrong.

 

This has been my experience, my wife will usually go along with me but if she feels she is being wronged all hell breaks loose.

 

The Philippians art the most female dominated society I have seen, followed closely by the Vietnamese. Loving caring wife but god help you if Sh** on her.

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I am a Cebuano and my wife is a Cebuana, She is submissive but not in all situation especially when it comes to things that is over the limit, Husband most of time is the fire of the family and wife most of the time serve as water, she compliments me and me to here, and we live happily with our two kids. My wife is the light in our home, sometime I commit mistakes but she is there to forgive and remind me on how to control myself. ....and talking about filipina wife, I think more Filipinas now are more realistic, they are looking for a more responsible guy, foreigner or filipino alike,

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Bob Ward
I am a Cebuano and my wife is a Cebuana, She is submissive but not in all situation especially when it comes to things that is over the limit, Husband most of time is the fire of the family and wife most of the time serve as water, she compliments me and me to here, and we live happily with our two kids. My wife is the light in our home, sometime I commit mistakes but she is there to forgive and remind me on how to control myself. ....and talking about filipina wife, I think more Filipinas now are more realistic, they are looking for a more responsible guy, foreigner or filipino alike,

 

Well said, welcome.

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Bet_Busta

In our home, I am the tiger. My home, however, is not a jungle, it is a circus...the wife is the tiger trainer.

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tom_shor

Most filipinas I have met will do their abosulute best to allow you to feel you are in charge. :(

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  • 1 month later...

I've been married three times. This is my third. I wish it had been my first. I've never met anyone with more love in her heart. She treats me like a king & I her like a queen. But we do talk about everything, before we do it. But she usauly says, "its up to you honey". But I still like to get her opinion. We do everything together.

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I much appreciate my Sweet SO's submissiveness, at least compared to many American women.

I think that is the key. I'm not quite married yet, but there are times when my fiancee' says, "I can do that for you." or "I will do that for you." and the things she is talking about doing for me would be incomprehensible to an American woman. Therefore, she would be classified as submissive although I am much appreciative and not "forcing" her to do it. That's the thing: Filipinas do things willingly that Americans would have to be enslaved to do.

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rainymike

The scariest thing about my filipina ex was when she'd say, 'up to you.' It was a secret code that really meant 'You'd better make the right choice, because if you don't, you will regret it for the rest of the month.'

 

So she was submissive (as long as I made the right decisions), when we talked about it I still had to make the right decision, and when she was stubborn about something, I knew I had screwed up somewhere and had done made the wrong decision about something.

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  • 7 months later...

I would not call my wife submissive at all. Yes most of the time she defers to me on most issues, but when she has her mind set on something then lookout.

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I think the extreme definition of submissive is that she just does everything her husband wants without question and never talks back to him negatively about topics as well as deferring all real decisions to him. This extreme view of submissive would be very hard to find unless the man is very powerful in his community and has a large power structure in place already. For a guy on a fixed income or not generating a big income and thus does not have the power I was referring to, they wont get that type of submissive behavior unless they are wife beaters. I have seen American couples where the wife was the submissive to her husband, but it was out of fear not respect and was driven by the fact that the husband was a beater.

 

For me, a submissive wife is one that doesnt hassle me daily about my activities and does push me to do things I dont want to do. As with many guys on this forum (from what I have read), I have an x-wife who really did hassle me daily and made my life difficult regularly.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I've been married three times. This is my third. I wish it had been my first. I've never met anyone with more love in her heart. She treats me like a king & I her like a queen. But we do talk about everything, before we do it. But she usauly says, "its up to you honey". But I still like to get her opinion. We do everything together.

When I first got married my wife was shy (suprise) and submissive. I encouraged her to be more outspoken. After 2 years of marriage, I love her moe than ever and she is half way there but of course she has subdue ways to keep me in line. Of course it is always UP TO YOU.

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