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Hello From Ben


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Hello All,

I'm Ben from California. I'm a recently retired "60 something" single guy (only one former marriage) who like so many of you on this forum have dreamed of living in the P.I. ( I have really liked the Filipinos I have met here) and would like to visit there soon to "test the waters." Speaking of waters I love all forms of ocean sports especially in tropical conditions so I know I would like the environment there. I have a pretty good retirement income so I wouldn't need to worry about an employmrent income any more. If I were living in Cebu, I'd definately join your boat trips.

Naturally it would be great to have some female companionship there and I have been doing the internet penpal thing with mixed results. I have really enjoyed reading on this forum about the pros & cons of meeting some one first online before coming over. I think I have learned to weed out the scammers and I have found a couple of nice Filipinas I have befriended online. They are reasonably close to my age (within 10 years) as I am not into the May - December kind of relationship.

As I get closer to visit time, I'm getting stressed out about letting my 2 penpals lady friends (one is in Cebu, one in Leyte) know about one another and trying to make arrangements to meet both. They both have qualities I like and vice versa. I just feel I should meet a lady personally before making a committment and once I do, I will stick with just one lady as at my age I can't burn the candle at both ends (not that I ever did). I guess I'm saying I'm nervous about exposing myself as a two-timing penpaler but I'm not sure what else I could have done. As others here have said, I may not meet the right Filipina unless or until I settle there. At any rate, I gues there's no fool like an old fool and I hope my new adventure doesn't help to prove the point!

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Hi Ben unless you have been promising more than friendship with these ladies I wouldn't stress out. Just be honest with them and say you want to meet ladies there as friends while you check out possible places to live one day. And then see how they handle the truth and learn from their reactions. I have found the friends of my chat mates more interesting to meet. :) I never talk marriage talk with my internet friends only friendship saves you and her a lot of problems.

 

The wise advice from the experienced members of the forum is to go there and meet ladies while in country and not limit yourself to an exclusive relationship from cyberspace. Take that advice to heart and don't rush into a relationship you have plenty of time what you really need to find out is if you can stand to live in the Philippines that is more important than finding love in my opinion because women can come and go and live anywhere. Places to live and be comfortable are harder to find.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Hello All,

I'm Ben from California. I'm a recently retired "60 something" single guy (only one former marriage) who like so many of you on this forum have dreamed of living in the P.I. ( I have really liked the Filipinos I have met here) and would like to visit there soon to "test the waters." Speaking of waters I love all forms of ocean sports especially in tropical conditions so I know I would like the environment there. I have a pretty good retirement income so I wouldn't need to worry about an employmrent income any more. If I were living in Cebu, I'd definately join your boat trips.

Naturally it would be great to have some female companionship there and I have been doing the internet penpal thing with mixed results. I have really enjoyed reading on this forum about the pros & cons of meeting some one first online before coming over. I think I have learned to weed out the scammers and I have found a couple of nice Filipinas I have befriended online. They are reasonably close to my age (within 10 years) as I am not into the May - December kind of relationship.

As I get closer to visit time, I'm getting stressed out about letting my 2 penpals lady friends (one is in Cebu, one in Leyte) know about one another and trying to make arrangements to meet both. They both have qualities I like and vice versa. I just feel I should meet a lady personally before making a committment and once I do, I will stick with just one lady as at my age I can't burn the candle at both ends (not that I ever did). I guess I'm saying I'm nervous about exposing myself as a two-timing penpaler but I'm not sure what else I could have done. As others here have said, I may not meet the right Filipina unless or until I settle there. At any rate, I gues there's no fool like an old fool and I hope my new adventure doesn't help to prove the point!

Ben, I just turned 60 and I understand what you are saying because I have been doing the same thing you have. I ended up breaking off communication with several ladies on different websites. They all wanted to build a relationship over the internet and I was just supposed to show up in PI and sweep them off of their feet. All I wanted was a friendship because until you meet someone in person and spend some time with them you don't really know if you want to spend the rest of your life with them. I finally resigned from all of the websites except for a few such as this one where I can read the different posts and form my own opinions about what I need to do. I'm definitely waiting until my visit to test the waters and find out what is available. I wish you the best of luck in your adventures to come. Just don't put all of your eggs in one basket until you are sure that's the way you want to go.

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Forget about internet dates or contacts.

No matter what YOUR intentions might be, the other party is likely to have a different agenda.

 

Just get to the Philippines and look around, Do some "tourist" things. There are some beautiful places to visit, lots to see and do, so spend some time seeing and doing.

 

The country is full of beautiful women, many of whom would like a relationship, and you will find that you meet them whilst going about your everyday activities.

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Hi Ben and welcome to the Forum! Don't allow yourself to get stressed-out about informing your two penpals of the other's existence. Filipinas are a very generous people and will quite understand that you will choose the one who most closely fits with your vision of a companion/life partner.

 

As Alan says, the place is teeming with Filipinas of all ages and it is quite possible that you'll meet, or be introduced to, the lady of your dreams once you've moved here.

 

Now form an orderly line, ladies, Ben's on his way! :lol:

 

 

Mark

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