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Does marrying a Filipina make me a racist?


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to_dave007

I think I was 6..  or thereabouts..  when I learned the little poem..  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me".  So if someone wants to call me a racist, for having a strong preference for dark haired, dark eyed, dark skinned, petite beauties (I.e..  my wife) then I'm guilty as charged, and who gives a shit.  I sure don't.

 

But just because I have a preference for a certain ideal "type", doesn't give me the right to trash all others. I suspect OP has been a little too vocal about "big American women", without being at all sensitive to the impact on his own sister.

 

We all need a little more "live and let live" in our lives.

Edited by to_dave007
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Some people are racist and then marry a Filipina  I don't see how marrying a Filipina can make you a racist   I do see where American women, who have a tendency to blow up after eating wedding cake,

I had been forewarned, having read posts and articles on the subject here and elsewhere, that I would encounter resentment and hostility because I married a Filipina. But, even in light of that, I was

is your sister fat?,,,,,,,,,

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broden

Quite true! I definitely touched a nerve and my mentioning "big American" was also something she took issue with, of course I was using the word big to contrast petite, not to insulate anything else. My ex is actually a beautiful tall blonde. I wanted something different, went looking in Asia and it was here in Cebu that I fell in love with my wife. 

we only ever really know what is going on in our own heads.. and one easy way to see that is

we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions while we judge others by their actions

 

so basically don't let her or anyone else decide you and your wife's future ... to hell with what she thinks if she continues to want to make an issue of it

your life your the one that has to live it

The only person I ever had trouble with was my youngest daughter. I had custody of the kids and my daughter was 12 at the time. I think she was angry at being "replaced" as the woman of the house. She and my wife still don't fully get along.

that's a whole different kettle of fish .. all you can do is make the best of it huh

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TheWhiteKnight

Honestly I think you have it backwards, when women go to Brazil or whatever in search of some big bamboo they "get their groove back" and it's all "you go girl" but everyone here is, in the eyes of the popular media, a "sexpat". 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:  some big bamboo :lmao:

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Salty Dog

Both my sisters love my wife, even though they both have girls the same age as my wife who will be 35 in a few months..

 

Hell, even my ex-wife likes her and we all get together now and then.
 
I guess my family has a strange relationship. One of my sisters lives with my ex-wife.
 

My ex-wife even lived in the Philippines for several years with one of her best friends here in Florida, who happen to be a Filipina.

 

Back in 2010, when I was in the hospital in Dumaguete for over a month. My sister and ex-wife flew to the Philippines to help my GF (now wife) take care of me. My ex-wife even loaned me P675K  to help pay expenses. I was paralyzed and couldn't talk very well, so I couldn't access my accounts back in the USA. She also filed all my insurance claims with TRICARE which was nearly 1.5 million peso. Of course I paid her back ASAP and I paid for their airfare and accommodations while they were in the Philippines.

 

One other thing. While they may be talking about us behind our backs. I've yet to have anyone even remotely act like they had issues with my wife being young and/or a Filipina. We even live in a retirement community where most have been married to their spouses longer than my wife has been alive and who have children older than my wife.

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broden

Both my sisters love my wife, even though they both have girls the same age as my wife who will be 35 in a few months..

 

Hell, even my ex-wife likes her and we all get together now and then.
 
I guess my family has a strange relationship. One of my sisters lives with my ex-wife.
 

My ex-wife even lived in the Philippines for several years with one of her best friends here in Florida, who happen to be a Filipina.

 

Back in 2010, when I was in the hospital in Dumaguete for over a month. My sister and ex-wife flew to the Philippines to help my GF (now wife) take care of me. My ex-wife even loaned me P675K  to help pay expenses. I was paralyzed and couldn't talk very well so I couldn't access my accounts back in the USA. She also filed all my insurance claims with TRICARE which was nearly 1.5 million peso. Of course I paid her back ASAP and I paid for their airfare and accommodations while they were in the Philippines.

 

One other thing. While they may be talking about us behind our backs. I've yet to have anyone even remotely act like they had issues with my wife being young and/or a Filipina. We even live in a retirement community where most have been married to their spouses longer than my wife has been alive and who have children older than my wife.

you your ex your wife and your sisters all get together now and then?

 

what part of the south did you grow up in?

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Salty Dog

you your ex your wife and your sisters all get together now and then?

 

what part of the south did you grow up in?

 

And my current wife too...  :yahoo:

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lamoe

The nationality probably has only a little to do with it.  It's the age difference  - American women  have a  mindset of what differential is acceptable - go below it and it's just not right that you are not with a woman in  "your own age" range.

 

 

if I was associated with an American  woman 25  years my junior - 43 - I'd get the stink eye. 

 

I have at times,  when taking daughter (40) out for lunch because she wanted to talk to her dad about some problem she didn't want mom to know about.  usually mom was the problem.

 

One old bitch was making comments we both could hear  because she wanted us to, daughter got up walked up to her and in loud voice said  "HE'S  MY DAD - so shut up"

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dnl_grout

My sister and most of the family have it set solid in there minds that they know it all.

 

None of them have ever bin to the country, know zip about the culture or any thing else.

 

Even a few of my old buddies claimed I was nuts going Cebu 2005.."we are at war"...wtf you doing.

 

The whole of the age difference thing is always about if you are poking the younger one.

 

Once your at a preassigned age no ones hopping in your bead for any reason.

 

A younger woman does the job, she is a bar girl and we are perverts.

 

If she is your nurse or executive assistant then there is no problem.

 

There is not really anything we can do about it.

 

Even in Cebu there a women tourist who look down there long critical judgmental noses.

 

Even shouting "pervert" from across the street cause your with legal wife.

 

At first it seams like a big issue but it's a small thing as we do the walk of life every day.

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rainymike

I don't think its racism as much as it is crab mentality behavior. 

 

Filipinos are often accused of crab mentality, but I've found that it exists all over the world. Read an article somewhere that said its a view of people who believe that life is a zero sum game. This attitude is that in every situation there is one winner and everyone else loses. And of course, the losers are envious of the winner. You all know the type (the people who put you down cause you got the promotion, or put you down because you do something different, or buy the fancy car, or marry a younger woman, or marry a beautiful woman, or marry an older rich woman, and so on and so forth). I've known people like that all my life. And pretty much have learned to stay away from them or ignore them.

 

LOL ... and of course if your blog is about marrying a hot filipina ... guess who all the losers are going to be in that game? Even though I'm guessing your blog is really about something else entirely.

 

Find your own peace and happiness. The hell with what anyone else thinks.

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ozboy
What is the age difference?

 

Believe it or not, this MAY be the biggest single reason from where it all starts....People talk about it..Your kid;s friends talk about it..In the end it all becomes one big embarrassment for all concerned and then it explodes in ''Racist'' remarks...Nothing to do with who you marry per se.....

 

Racism in marriage is very common..It is too keep ethnic traditions and values alive..and that goes for Anglo Saxons as well....Greeks used to and in their hearts rather their kids marry Greeks even if they are now citizens of another country..Same goes for Italians, Indians, Chinese, all who are culturally different.....Try marrying into a Higher Filipino Family...specially if you have a bigger discrepancy in age or financial situation.

 

Jealously is in the eye of the beholder..

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batman2525

Although I do not intend to get married...I believe that you are a sensible man for marrying a Filipina.....If I was going to get married it would be to a  poor Filipina young lady.

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hyaku

Its not racism, just a preference. I'm sure if you sister came here and was picked up by some young over testosteroned young guy she would not complain.

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Your only a racist, if ur marriage was faked on ur part..

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SkyMan
In the end it all becomes one big embarrassment for all concerned

Not all, just the small minded.  And in this case it isn't  a very big difference so I think it only a small part of her problem.

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