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Principal Sponsors in a Filipino Wedding


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I have been a principal sponsor for four weddings, and I have never been asked for money. How many weddings have you been a sponsor for?

2 principal sponsor

3 sponsor

8 Godfather for Baptism

Never been asked for money either.

but..

 
If I had followed the advice here of what is expected from some her,   they had of course accepted that I had covered most of the expenses......
But of course a wedding is not free, gift, travel, hotel, clothes for a big family like mine means spending.
 
Incidentally, I see no problem with spending money on such things, I have many good friends and people who are always there for me if I need them.

Then it is also nice to be included in the family's celebrations and important events.

 
 
 
 
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You guys can try and dress it however you like - but when a Filipino asks a Kano to be  a sponsor they are looking for money.

I posted in the beginning of this thread trying to be funny. I do that sometimes, that is "try" but rarely succeed.   The truth is, I have only been asked to be a sponsor once, by my brother-in-law.

My wife asked if we would buy anything for my godsons upcoming baptism party   I said they didn't ask for my help 9 months ago   she gave me a blank stare and said ............ huh?

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SkyMan

I'm supposed to sponsoring next month for my BIL and fiance.  They're smart kids.  Both work and have saved a long time for this big wedding.  All I've been told is that I need to get a Barong and I may need a white TShirt and maybe I'll try to borrow some shoes as I'll never wear them again.  

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BTW.
I have been invited and been in countless weddings and baptisms in my life, in Europe, other countries in Asia, Africa and the Americas Not once have I not also there had gifts, often very expensive.

I'm not from a culture of "Wedding Crashers"

:cool:

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JohnD

 

 

I have been a principal sponsor for four weddings, and I have never been asked for money.

 

They expect money from a sponsor and do not think they need to ask as most people understand that.

 

If your not helping them out what is the point of being a sponsor just providing spiritual blessings.  :cool:

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ProudPinay

 

 

Several. Right next to senators, governors and mayors. I'm sure they were elated when they didn't receive anything from you. Don't kid yourself. When they ask a prominent Filipino it's about status and bragging rights of having that particular person - like a Governor, Congressman or Mayor. . When hey ask a Kano it's in hopes to get something out of the deal and that's not status when it comes to Kanos.

 

So you have been an Honorary Sponsor to a couple that has one might say  has "INFLUENTIAL" friends or family.  Well, I'm sure you already know that in the Philippines, its who you know and who you know or who knows you goes a long way.  I am not surprised  that there will be "pressure" to "measure up" to the "bragging". 

 

I hope that when they asked you, they asked you because they wanted you to be part of their wedding. There has to be some sort of association with you for you to be that "special" and  I think its kind presumptuous to assume that's because they were ANTICIPATING  for your BIG contribution.  You're probably on the mark that with you its not a status or bragging rights, would it be really incomprehensible to say that there was no underlying motive and could be just perhaps out of friendship to this kind Kano? you were that good friendly neighbor for years?  and for giving gifts, honestly,  unless its going to break your bank, even then that's on you....that'd be different story.  I hope not all wedding you've witness  have been about quest for money.  

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JohnD

 

 

I think its kind presumptuous to assume that's because they were ANTICIPATING  for your BIG contribution.

 

There are Sponsors who are chosen like the Mayor to give "status" to a couple however a foreigner is not one of them. It is an expectation of money in 95% of the cases.

 

In regards to your "quest for money" please tell me what city, town, barangay or community where the interaction with a foreigner is not about money.

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RogerDuMond

There are Sponsors who are chosen like the Mayor to give "status" to a couple however a foreigner is not one of them. It is an expectation of money in 95% of the cases.

 

In regards to your "quest for money" please tell me what city, town, barangay or community where the interaction with a foreigner is not about money.

 

Damn you sure have some conniving "friends" and relatives. Maybe you should start hanging around with a better class of people. It doesn't happen that way here.

 

Here it is Owak, Asturias, Cebu. I am never asked for money by anyone that ts related to or knows me or my wife, but then my wife's temper is well known in the family.

Edited by RogerDuMond
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JohnD

 

 

I am never asked for money by anyone that ts related to or knows me or my wife, but then my wife's temper is well known in the family.

 

Maybe they figure your old and raising goats so surely have no money.  :yahoo:

 

Seriously we all know the deal here and when a foreigner is asked to sponsor a wedding there is an expectation they will pay provide money.

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ProudPinay

 

 

In regards to your "quest for money" please tell me what city, town, barangay or community where the interaction with a foreigner is not about money.

 

Getting off the main topic of what's the role of Principal Sponsor eh?  I can tell you that honestly I have not personally witness Filipinos making a line for foreigners handouts in my neighborhood. But I can tell you that many Foreigners I know are well accepted in our community, mainly because they are good respectful people that know their place and respect locals and treat them no different than how they wanted to be treated. What does money give you in PI?... It can bring you LUCK or it could KILL you. That's a choice we have to make but it so much fun living  in the Philippines!  I supposed, if you mean to say......a foreigner feeling rich among the poor neighborhood---then, perhaps it could get bothersome, you might get that feeling. But if you live among the rich neighborhood in PI, don't think they'll mind you much.  Best to decline being a sponsor if one don't want to fill the role. Easy day!

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bahalina buong

There are Sponsors who are chosen like the Mayor to give "status" to a couple however a foreigner is not one of them. It is an expectation of money in 95% of the cases.

 

In regards to your "quest for money" please tell me what city, town, barangay or community where the interaction with a foreigner is not about money.

Your posts are spot on about the financial expectations from foreigners.  Everyone disagreeing with you in this thread is either Filipino and blindly defending their country, or expats who have heavily invested in either their in-laws, barangay, or both.  It's just simply disingenuous and insincere for any expat to even portend that it's not about money, when they have spent so much to get 'respect' with the locals here.  Of course they don't ask for money when you have already given them more than they need.

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RogerDuMond
when they have spent so much to get 'respect' with the locals here. Of course they don't ask for money when you have already given them more than they need.

 

The only thing I have spent to get respect from the locals is my time, my respect for them, and energy to walk and converse with them every day.

 

It is the money hungry expats that aren't willing to invest their time to get to know people here that make it hard for all expats to start with.

Edited by RogerDuMond
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bahalina buong

The only thing I have spent to get respect from the locals is my time, my respect for them, and energy to walk and converse with them every day.

 

It is the money hungry expats that aren't willing to invest their time to get to know people here that make it hard for all expats to start with.

Didn't we have this conversation before?  haha  I won't rain on your parade...have a nice Saturday on Fantasy Island.  :)

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TheWhiteKnight

Your posts are spot on about the financial expectations from foreigners.  Everyone disagreeing with you in this thread is either Filipino and blindly defending their country, or expats who have heavily invested in either their in-laws, barangay, or both.  It's just simply disingenuous and insincere for any expat to even portend that it's not about money, when they have spent so much to get 'respect' with the locals here.  Of course they don't ask for money when you have already given them more than they need.

 

lol yeah, there are the expats who think their in laws are so great and never ask for anything, these are the same guys that built mansions for their wives family in the middle of Samar. They never ask for anything, they don't need to!! The foreigner is paying up far more than they could even ask with out saying a word.

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Jawny

I have never been asked to provide any sort of financial assistance for any marriage here. I get asked to be a sponsor many times, and have done so a few times. I am not a willing participant so more often I opt to say no. Sometimes my wife will be a lone sponsor. We have never been asked for money, nor have we given any, except In a few instances as gifts. More often we go for the rice cooker or hot water heater as a gift.

 

It is very common for a foreigner, of any "status" to be invited either as a sponsor or as an honored guest. This is not just courtesy, it adds a sophistication to the guest list.

 

Sorry to learn of the bad experiences of some LinC members with regard to being considered to be "walking ATMs". I've not had that experience in many years here.

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RogerDuMond

lol yeah, there are the expats who think their in laws are so great and never ask for anything, these are the same guys that built mansions for their wives family in the middle of Samar. They never ask for anything, they don't need to!! The foreigner is paying up far more than they could even ask with out saying a word.

 

 

In 1993 when we were getting married, my wife's brother asked me for money to build a short wall. My wife screamed and yelled at him for a couple hours and then didn't talk to him for 8 years. She sat the rest of the family down and told them not to ask me for money. That doesn't sound like much, but it is if you realize that she is basically the head of the family and nobody does anything without clearing it with her. So I guess that all of our opinions are molded by what our wives/girlfriends let others get away with.

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