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Filipina-American Divorce


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According to this article, the petitioner does not need to live there to file there, one party of the marriage must live there, but it does not specify the petitioner must reside there;

 

"North Carolina Divorce Laws
Residency and Filing Requirements:

In order to file for a divorce in North Carolina, residency requirements must be met for the court to accept the case. If the court discovers it does not have jurisdictional rights to hear the case it will not be accepted or it will eventually be dismissed. The requirements are as follows:

The plaintiff or defendant in the suit for divorce must have resided in the State for a period of six months prior to filing. The divorce may be filed in the either county in which the parties reside. (North Carolina Statutes - Chapter 50 - Sections: 50-8)"

 

http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/northcarolina/north-carolina-divorce-laws-707.shtml

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So, the asshole could fly to the Philippines, screw you, marry you, and make you promises that he couldn't afford to keep. Then, when he should have carried though, he dropped the ball, like a number

Maldita, sorry to hear about your situation. Read all the post but you didn't say much about your "husband". I can understand if you want to keep info private about him.   5 years ago, a young woman

I now have the authenticated documents needed for the Recognition of a Foreign Decree.  Next step is to look for a Filipino lawyer.

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I been reading North Carolina laws,at one point I understand that only one of us has to be a resident in order for one to file the divorce. But then I tried doing the online divorce and the only options I have for my address are states in the US, so it made me wonder if it means I have to be in the US before I can file. Anyways, I emailed another lawyer from North Carolina, let's see if I will get a response this time.

I can't offer advice regarding the process of using North Carolina divorce procedures. However, I do have a couple of suggestions.

 

First, it may be difficult to get a lawyer to handle a case such as this. I'm guessing it can be done, but you'll need to get a lawyer to take the case (assuming you need one). What would be helpful is to have direct contact with a lawyer. Perhaps using Skype is an alternative to email contact.

 

It is common for communities in the USA to have informal groups of Filipinos who help each other out. Socializing, giving assistance, meeting to exchange foods, DVDs and such. These groups may be using social media like Facebook to keep in touch. Perhaps you can connect to one of these and ask if someone is willing to make the direct contact go a lawyer on your behalf. Use caution before you decide to send money for lawyers fees etc.

 

From what little I know, North Carolina is a no fault divorce state. If that's the case, the courts are more likely to accept a petition for divorce and grant it with little hassle. That is, if you and your soon-to-be ex is not contesting any property or support issues.

 

As far as any online services, it is not unusual for a website to be designed with only one country in mind. So, you need to improvise to get the system to accept you. For example, if you keep being rejected because you don't have an address that fits the website (like no USA zip code) consider making contact with the website in some other fashion. They may have an alternative way to get connected.

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Nangulo

I've read all of these posts and have a question that hasn't been brought up, Maldita.  You say he doesn't want to get a divorce but you don't give a reason.  In a subsequent post, you mentioned that he made you beneficiary of his 401(k).  Putting these together, and then adding some more.  If the guy has a job and he is putting money into a retirement fund (401(k) or similar), you are entitled to a portion of those funds.  You're married, and money earned in a marriage becomes marital property, equally owned by both parties to the marriage.  If he divorces you, he has to split those funds.  If he ignores you, he can keep them all, at least in his mind.

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Davaoeno

given the following :  Property Distribution:

Since North Carolina is an "equitable distribution" state, the marital property shall be divided in an equitable fashion. Equitable does not mean equal, but rather what is fair. The court will encourage the parties to reach a settlement on property and debt issues otherwise the court will declare the property award.

 

I would approach the husband on the basis that rather than sue him for an equitable distribution of the family assets, and rather than sue him for spousal support, I would be willing to sign off on both of those if he would just file for an online divorce. 

 

Your problem may be that he will think you can not put any pressure on him since you can not afford a lawyer to sue him. 

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Maldita23

I've read all of these posts and have a question that hasn't been brought up, Maldita.  You say he doesn't want to get a divorce but you don't give a reason.  In a subsequent post, you mentioned that he made you beneficiary of his 401(k).  Putting these together, and then adding some more.  If the guy has a job and he is putting money into a retirement fund (401(k) or similar), you are entitled to a portion of those funds.  You're married, and money earned in a marriage becomes marital property, equally owned by both parties to the marriage.  If he divorces you, he has to split those funds.  If he ignores you, he can keep them all, at least in his mind.

He said he can not afford to divorce me yet. He just keeps on ignoring me even if I offered to pay for the whole process of divorce. Like I said, I actually have sent him some money to divorce me. He just took the money and did not process it.

North Carolina Online divorce -  $299

 

http://www.3stepdivorce.com/states/northcarolina.shtml

What I understand is that I can file it myself as it did not specify that the plaintiff should be a resident.

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SkyMan

North Carolina Online divorce -  $299

 

http://www.3stepdivorce.com/states/northcarolina.shtml

If you answer No here:

 

 

 

Do you and your spouse agree to the issues regarding your divorce?

It doesn't work.And since she sent him money to get the divorce and he just kept it, I think the answer is no.

 

Again, sometime at night when you can afford a call, I'd call his county court house.  Not only might they be able to direct you on what you need to do but they might be able to give you some numbers to wive's assistance groups that might be able to assist you with free legal advice and perhaps actual legal assistance at low or no cost.  You might want to suggest to them you think he might be married to one or more other women.  While you don't know this for sure I'd be suspicious.

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jtmwatchbiz

 

 

Your problem may be that he will think you can not put any pressure on him since you can not afford a lawyer to sue him.

 

 

i agree and i know it may not be the most mainstream of suggestions but unless the OP absolutely needs the divorce now, she may be best to bide her time until the opportunity presents itself to get it done.  what i mean is if she was preferring an American husband and that is why she married the guy in the first place, then perhaps if and when she meets another American who she is interested in a relationship with, he can most certainly help her in rounding up and pressuring her current deadbeat husband to follow thru with the divorce.

 

while headshot advised the OP to avoid getting romantically involved until the divorce is complete, that seems to be a lifelong sentence in this situation.  the OP's husband has abandoned her and she hardly should be concerned of him filing adultery charges against her if she moved on.  i suggest she bides her time until she finds a better husband candidate, someone more trustworthy solid, and then have him help her get the divorce filed and finished.  unless there is more to this story than revealed, the gal could put off worrying about the divorce until she finds and falls in love with a better American man than the last one.

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Davaoeno

 

 

You might want to suggest to them you think he might be married to one or more other women

 

 

yet another suggestion that the OP commit an offense !!     Lets see- criminal charge of mischief and a  civil case of defamation of character

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Davaoeno

 

 

But then I tried doing the online divorce and the only options I have for my address are states in the US, so it made me wonder if it means I have to be in the US before I can file.

 

I think not. I think you are safe to use a US address as a mailing address- just be very careful not to claim residency 

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A_Simple_Man

 

 

  i suggest she bides her time until she finds a better husband candidate

 

In the event she is looking, she may want to look online at men who live in the state where she wants to get a divorce.  If she finds a friend there then he will have a motive to help her get that divorce.

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RogerDuMond

I been reading North Carolina laws,at one point I understand that only one of us has to be a resident in order for one to file the divorce. But then I tried doing the online divorce and the only options I have for my address are states in the US, so it made me wonder if it means I have to be in the US before I can file. Anyways, I emailed another lawyer from North Carolina, let's see if I will get a response this time.

 

 

Here is a serious suggestion. You can remind him of federal law that stipulates that a spouse is automatically the beneficiary of a 401k unless she authorizes in writing placing someone else as beneficiary. You can suggest that giving you a divorce will allow him to remove you as the beneficiary otherwise his 401k will be yours. BUT DON"T SIGN ANYTHING FOR HIM UNTIL YOU HAVE FINALIZED DIVORCE PAPERS.

 

"Because the 401(k) is an employee-based retirement system, it is governed by a federal law, the Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 (ERISA). Under ERISA, a surviving spouse is usually the automatic beneficiary of a retirement plan (There may be some exceptions. For example, the spouse may have to be married to the employee for a certain amount of time). The spouse must consent in writing if the employee wishes to name someone else as the beneficiary."

Edited by RogerDuMond
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SkyMan

yet another suggestion that the OP commit an offense !!     Lets see- criminal charge of mischief and a  civil case of defamation of character

Negative.  If you say someone might be married to another woman.  (Which by the way he is acting may well be possible.)  It's only a suggestion which might be investigated and not an accusation.

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ProudPinay

Maldita, sorry to hear about your situation. Read all the post but you didn't say much about your "husband". I can understand if you want to keep info private about him.

 

5 years ago, a young woman went to Japan to visit her Auntie with a 6 mos visa. While she was enjoying the visit she end up meeting a 29 year old Sailor, knew almost nothing about him except he is stationed in Atsugi base. The Sailor got  her pregnant and he got cold feet on her. She was left with  a name, no phone number, a little info about  his job. Her visa expired so she left Japan and you can just imagine the families heartache and "shame" She also lost her credentials as a teacher (I guess, She was categorized as immoral for being pregnant out of wedlock).  These young lady was from the same hometown I am and her parents reached out to me knowing I am stationed in the same base in Japan. With very little information she knew of him, it was enough for me to find him. There's always two sides of the story. This one ended to be a success, married with two kids now  and currently living/stationed in Yokosuka.  

 

What I'm saying is...You're going to have to open up a little bit and reach out, perhaps to the friend that introduce you to him since you live there and his Stateside. Somebody posted earlier how there are Filipino communities in North Carolina that might be able to help you and you'll be surprise. Sounds like you have communication with him...whats the cause of plan to divorce? Seem rare for a guy to tie himself like that on a woman, for what cause? a 401K? insurance benefits maybe? Is he in the military and using marriage to you to claim benefits? Mind you, people do things to scam the system.

 

Again, I understand if you want to keep it private. Not knowing the story and I don't mean to sound I'm doubting your story, I can put myself in your shoes and I think, I will end up being more the "Maldita" than you. Coz I know there's no way, I'd let someone abandon me like that, rob me of a chance for a lifetime happiness and get away with it.  Good luck to you. 

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Salty Dog

Someone asked if the marriage was filled with the state. While I don't know about NC, I've lived in about 15 states and never filed my marriage with any of them.

 

I've been back in the USA for over a year and have never had to provide proof of marriage. Not even for her to be listed on home title, to get her driver's license, open a bank account or obtain several credit cards.

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