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marriage or live in partner


  

72 members have voted

  1. 1. Marriage? Or, live in partner?

    • Marriage!
      36
    • Just live together!
      24
    • Prefer to live alone.
      6
    • Doesn't matter to me.
      6


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colemanlee

Just imagine if you got her name tatooed on you !!     [ you said she is into ink ]

I might have to do that, she has mine.... :yahoo:

 

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Just a note, me and wifey lived together for a couple of years, didn't get married mainly because Im the worlds biggest procrastinator, so after my son came along, thinking of the benefits being marri

Some reasons to get married:   #1 Don’t need to ask her name again when you get up in the morning. #2 Sharing your life with someone if you found someone who enjoys what you do, a soulmate? #3 DINK:

Although my wife has never mentioned that, that is exactly why I married her. Filipinas hear so much bullshit from foreigners e.g. calling them their wife when they're not and professing undying love

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I don't think like a woman.....and after all these years still can't figure out how they think.....

 

Don't try. It will do irreparable damage to your brain.  :cool:

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colemanlee

Although my wife has never mentioned that, that is exactly why I married her. Filipinas hear so much bullshit from foreigners e.g. calling them their wife when they're not and professing undying love for them and then disappearing like the wind. I wanted her to know I was serious. I also think that by marrying her it probably gave her more "face" amongst her relatives and friends.

Exactly we had the family patriarch there, as her parents are dead, and old aunt... so we would make sure the bamboo telegraph got it right...a good way to say screw you to all the gossips....

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NOSOCALPINOY

After we had been married a couple of days or weeks, cant remember, in a conversation she told me that when I finally married her, it proved to her that I really loved her....now for me, I thought I had been doing that for years.....but I don't think like a woman.....and after all these years still can't figure out how they think.....

Here's how a woman's brain works! :idontknow: 

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RogerDuMond

 

 

.but I don't think like a woman..

 

If you need that point of view, you can ask Paul.

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Is she also content with a live in arrangement or does she have to pay for your past bad experience?

Live in is term I have never used. It sounds a bit demeaning. She is my life partner. We look after each other. If you want to put it that way I suppose I am a 'live in" too.

 

Pay for what? Life is an experience, ups and downs. We have both had bad experiences in life. Eventually everyone hopes to meet a good partner and get it right. You can still keeps promises to each other without a 'marriage licence" and make legal commitments to ensure their future. 

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Love (and marriage) requires work and sacrifice to maintain a loving relationship. It requires seeing the inner person, and not just the outer shell. It requires working through problems, rather than just turning your back. It requires the belief that what the two of you have together is more important than what you have alone.  

 

There is also the converse ideology.  How many people have lived together truly happily then decide to make it "official" and marry only to divorce a couple of years later.

 

The reason? Because being married often makes people complacent, taking things for granted, IMHO, when two people commit and live together, you MUST work at keeping that relationship fresh,exciting and strengthen he affection, because you know your partner can up and leave without a second thought, whereas being married can make some lose interest in keeping that love, affection and desires alive, because you know your partner CANNOT easily up and leave, ending up with an unhappy and embittered couple.

 

For me, I would far rather be in a loving and happy relationship that being in a augmentative and affection free marriage.  

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HeyMike

Of course it goes without saying... marrying the wrong person would be/could be hell.

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RogerDuMond

Live in is term I have never used. It sounds a bit demeaning. She is my life partner. We look after each other. If you want to put it that way I suppose I am a 'live in" too.

 

Pay for what? Life is an experience, ups and downs. We have both had bad experiences in life. Eventually everyone hopes to meet a good partner and get it right. You can still keeps promises to each other without a 'marriage licence" and make legal commitments to ensure their future. 

 

I guess I didn't explain my question well enough. Does she feel the same way, in other words does she not want to get married also, or does she just go along with the idea in order to make you happy?

 

Just curiosity on my part. The reason I asked, is that I have met many Filipinas that would do it, but never one that prefered to live together rather than get married.

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woodchopper

 

 

in order to make you happy?

 

be wary of that belief,,some make it,,many many dont,,,,,,,,,,,,u r 3world country eh,,and they maybe govern and control some parts of it

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I think LOVE is what makes the difference in whether or not you should marry. If you are just using a woman until you grow tired of her, then it is fine to just live with her. However, if you truly love a woman, then you want the best for her as much as (or more than) you want the best for yourself.

 

There is no doubt that NOT loving somebody is much easier than loving them. Not loving somebody allows you to make decisions that make your life easier, even though they can destroy the woman, and do so without guilt ("Hey, we weren't married."). It allows you to turn in one woman for another just on a whim.

 

Love (and marriage) requires work and sacrifice to maintain a loving relationship. It requires seeing the inner person, and not just the outer shell. It requires working through problems, rather than just turning your back. It requires the belief that what the two of you have together is more important than what you have alone.

 

When you are in love, and you only want the best for your partner, then you quickly realize that you need to marry her to give her that. Then again, if you are totally self-centered and selfish, then none of that will matter to you anyway. and you should NOT get married. You just need to decide whether you love her or yourself more. Then you will have your answer. :cool:

 

The problem here is that you assume that the woman has the same values and loving nature as the man, women can be self centred, manipulative and selfish just as much as any man, women use men just as much as men use women....... that is what needs to be understood.

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woodchopper

 

 

The problem here is that you assume that the woman has the same values and loving nature as the man, women can be self centred, manipulative and selfish just as much as any man, women use men just as much as men use women....... that is what needs to be understood.

 

most are classed as "rotten mongrels" etc etc,,some names escape me,,(men are different),,,,,,,,,, :killself:

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I guess I didn't explain my question well enough. Does she feel the same way, in other words does she not want to get married also, or does she just go along with the idea in order to make you happy?

 

Just curiosity on my part. The reason I asked, is that I have met many Filipinas that would do it, but never one that prefered to live together rather than get married.

 

 

Talking about this thread I did ask. She is fine with our present status. We both feel it really would be of no advantage to get married. She has seen a lot of strife around her from people and family who have married had kids, say how wonderful it is then finish. So she really doesn't rate it. We are together almost 24/7 and get on together well. Gardening, odd jobbing, pets, planning nice meals etc etc. We keep to ourselves apart from a small group of friends away from the Barangay. We really dont get close enough to anybody to discuss our personal matters. She says in Mindanao where she come from they dont do that or keep staring all the time. She doesn't go along with anything just to please me. but we constantly try to please each other. No crazy materialistic values either. She doesn't even know or want to know how to use an ATM.

 

I have had some success in life with work and achievements in certain fields but never did seem the get the relationship bit right. She would agree that It still feels like we have both won the lottery.

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