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Do you expect your friends to tell you if your gf/wife is cheating on you ?


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And if your friend is cheating on his wife/GF will you tell her what is going on?

I run into this all the time in the PI...

Edited by davehud
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Well there you have it. 

If I was in my late 60's and I managed to find a beautiful young wife in her early 20's, I don't think my expectations would be as high as they were when I was a strapping young jock.   Be realistic

i have a funny funny story that's similar.  back 8 years ago when my wife was pregnant with our daughter,  i got a few texts from some unknown number in fractured english stating that my wife was a bl

she already had 3 children from 3 different fathers and he met her working in a bar in Singapore.

 

The guy seemed to be looking for a world of hurt, doubt he would've believed you had you told him.

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I will extend this to include the situation where your gf/wife is saying bad things about you to your friends or online 

 

I know that different people want different things in this situation.  An Australian whose gf is a friend of my wife's did not know that everytime he went out of the country to work she was seeing her pinoy bf.  All of her female friends knew about it.  I didnt know if I should tell him since they were planning to marry . I asked his friends and they said not to tell him.  They are now married and have moved to Australia.

 

  I on the other hand would certainly want to know.

well maybe you can tell him after the divorce

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One of the challenges in PI is that we hear rumours and gossip all the time, and it's damn hard to know what's real, and what isn't.  And for sure, IF you were tell him his wife or g/f is cheating, you need to be 100% absolutely CERTAIN that what you are telling him is the truth..  You wouldn't be doing your friend any favours if you reported rumours as truths.. of accused his g/f of cheating if she really wasn't.

 

I'm NOT saying that you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT report infidelity. I'm just saying that it would really be tough to know 100%..  positively..  for sure unless you witnessed things yourself.  Such is the nature of gossip.  

well to be 100% it would have to be a threesome

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JamesMusslewhite

shoot-the-messenger.gif

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Usually the person that is being screwed around is the last one to know. I daresay the poor guy will find out when she starts to do the same in Oz. Problem is sometimes if you actually tell someone they still think the sun shines out of their GFs arse.

True that.  However, whether he believes you or not, at least you told him, perhaps anonymously.  My wife and I don't listen to gossip.  That fixes a lot of these situations.  If it were me I'd want to know and I'd be thankful to however told me.  If I knew such things about someone's SO and they got pissed at me for telling them I would know they weren't really a friend so no loss there.

 

In this particular case though, I wouldn't feel too bad about not telling him.  Sounds like he was hell bent on getting trouble and has it now.  I don't understand people some times.

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rainymike

Not really, I like friends who aren't busybodies. If I don't have a second sense about things like that, well it's too bad for me.

 

Nor would I stick my nose in the affairs of my friends and acquaintances.

 

In any event, I think we are too obsessed with fidelity. Considering our age difference, if I just couldn't do it anymore, I'd see no reason to strap a chastity belt on my partner. LOL ... but she'd have to get a hotel room and I'd get to play Tyrone Power in the sun also rises. Now there's expat living.

 

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colemanlee

Ive always thought what you dont know, dont hurt you...if you told him, it would be you that cracked his mirror, not her....and somewhere in the back of his mind, he would always resent that....on the other hand...if you kept your mouth shut, minded your own business...things between them might have worked out....something that most likely would not happen if you told him....

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As marriage in the West has broken down I think friends tell friends less and less and most of the people I know say they keep their nose out of other people's business.

 

If this guy were a truly close friend and if he came to you with concerns about his wife - then maybe a conversation is in order. But if a guy is married to a woman with 3 kids by 3 different men who he met in a bar - he is either past help or just doesn't give a damn.

 

OTOH if you see me cheating please do not tell my wife, since she will absolutely take the bolo to my oten :)

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I wouldn't have told him, that's a personal matter. you have no idea if he already knows or wants it.

 

just because people are friends it doesn't mean they know everything about a persons "special interests"

 

if it was me I wouldn't want someone to tell me I was so stupid and couldn't see the signs for myself

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He should have been told before getting married at the very least.

Edited by Bassix
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batman2525

Do you expect your friends to tell you if your gf/wife is cheating on you ?

 

Fecking right I would expect to be told....and if my friend was getting turned over by his wife or G/F I would spill the beans on her.....hes my friend right?

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