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Some Filipinas don't mature quick enough! Take my wife for example, we had a 6 yr

long distance courtship (no hanky panky in those 6 yrs) before we got married.

I met my wife through relatives when she was 18 yrs old and I was 33 yrs of age.

We got married in the Philippines when she was 24 and I at 39. We've now been

married 27 years and been retired here in the Philippines since 1998, where's she's

now a dual citizen and I a permanent resident. Life is good!

Congrats, 17 yrs retired, 17 yrs in RP and 27 yrs married. Good work

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my wife came over to the states got a walmart job continued her education now she is in hospital administration and makes alone more than what we use to make together, once she surpassed our old incom

I agree 100% with leaving her in the Philippines, same situation for me.    My wife has been surrounded by her family her entire life and never left her home or family for more than 2 days except fo

while it may seem daunting. even a bit scary to her at first (moving across the world to an unknown place with no family is for people from all over the globe) filipinos are incredibly adaptive 

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RogerDuMond

I do think they "spoil" after being out of their country for a while.....I met my Filipina in the UK as she was already living here.

If I had met her in the Phils I would never take her out of her country....not because she may miss her family but because she would "spoil"

 

So she was already spoiled when you met her? That is just a ludicrous generalization and it all depends on the personality and moral fiber of the woman. My wife has been in the US for over 22 years since we were married and I don't notice any signs of spoilage yet.

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I really appreciate all of the feedback everyone. I guess it's sounding like a no brainer to bring her back here and start a new life together. I just wanted to hear from you folks and see what you did in your particular situation. I know I have a lot of soul searching to do on this but I just want to get my head in the right place.

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cebulover2000

There are so many filipinas in Canada as you know and they all want to stay. There is no fiancee visa, so you would have to marry the girl, processing times are crazy now, 16 months. Chances of getting a tourist visa are slim if she is a normal girl running a sari sari store. It's up to you as they say.

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Coffeehound

Hi All,

 

Just got back from Cebu from a wonderful one week trip meeting my girlfriend for the first time. Cebu is such a nice place to visit as was Bohol. This is my first post here so try to go easy on me :db:

 

Ok here goes. I have been in an long distance relationship with my girlfriend for a year now. We met on a Christian dating site. We get along very well and chat two times a day on messenger and a few times a week on Skype. She is very respectful and affectionate. An all around really nice girl. I met her family when I was there and visited her sari-sari store. This is how she makes her living 7 days per week.

 

I am divorced and I am looking to move on with my life. I was gutted financially by my ex wife and am really now gun shy of ever dating or marrying a western girl again. This is the reason I started my search for a girl from south east Asia and the Philippines especially, since I had heard how family oriented they are and how they take their relationships seriously and love their man. I spent a lot of time sifting through the money grabbers and liars on-line so I'm pretty sure I have done my homework.

 

Because I am still relatively young, 44, and still working full time and have dependents, I can not make the commitment to move to Cebu full time right now. I have kids to support and a spousal payments to make so this rules me out for being financially able to make the move at least for the next while unless of course I could make a living there, making the salary I make now, which is 99.99% unlikely.

 

My question is this, should I continue to have a long distance relationship with this girl if I am not physically there especially if we decide to get married? We have talked about this and we have agreed to continue our relationship from afar. My plan is to go to visit every 6 months until I am able to live there permanently. Unfortunately this could take ten years.

 

You are probably wondering why I don't take her back to Canada. Well I have several reason, the main reason is I don't think she would be happy here and would be lonely. The winters are darn cold and you really are confined to the indoors. Yes we have a Summer too but trust me the winter's are long. I also don't want to pull her away from her family and friends which are the closest things to her.

 

Am I being completely out to lunch on this and could this work? Are any of you doing this?

Now days with yahoo messenger, Skype, email, etc her options off keeping in touch with her family support are so much better than 20+ years ago when my girl only had snail mail and expensive and often unreliable telephone contact. Do not under estimate these girls ability to adapt.

 

One potential issue: is she running the sari-sari store simply to support herself? These girls frequently are major bread winners for their family, and the loss of that income may be devastating to that family. Something to know about going in rather than step into so to say.

 

If you are going to pursue this relationship perhaps a fiancé visa would be something to look at - give you a period of time to actually get to know each other's quirks. If she is the 'one' 10 years is a heck of a lot of time you can never get back.

 

Don't rush, but don't let anything in life keep you from being happy. Good luck.

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to_dave007

In my Canadian family, 4 of my mothers 6 sons are married to Filipina, and my mother has 8 mixed grandchildren from these relationships.  Three of these families live in Canada (Hamilton and Kingston Ontario).  And one (me) living in Cebu, with me just now completing my last long stay in Canada for OHIP funded knee implant.  IMHO most Filipino have absolutely NO trouble adjusting to the rigours of Canadian weather.  I've met several over the years that work (or have worked) in the western tar sands area (winter below -35 degrees C for weeks) without problems.  I've even met a Filipino seaman who got ice bound for the winter on the Great Lakes.   They are far tougher than OP gives them credit for.  Don't let the weather be your reason for not bringing her.

 

IMHO.. it's wrong to immediately decide she will, or won't, move.  There's lots of time for that.  But I DO think there should be serious work underway.  and plans.  Let me give some examples.

 

 - For OP, is your divorce final.  Are you free to marry yet. If not, get it done.  This ended up being the main reason to delay in my own case.

 

 - Does she have a full set of ID papers..  NSO birth certificate, passport, at least.  If not, get it started.. Can take a while.  Does she have kids..  if so then same applies to them as well.

 

 - Does OP wish to marry his g/f.  BIG BIG mistake NOT to make up his mind on this issue.  As Beyoncé says..  if you want it.. you better put a ring on it.  Nowhere in the world is this MORE important than with a Filipina, and if OP is not willing to make up his mind on this issue, he should not be surprised if she does not wait forever. If you'll marry.. then where?  and when?  If it will be in PI, then research what's needed, and start preparing.

 

 - What is her education?  She works in sari-sari now.  Did she finish high school?  College?  Is it intended that she will ever work in Canada?  Doing what?  IMHO almost 100% of Filipina that I know in successful marriages WANT to work and earn money in Canada.   Think ahead on this issue.  Improving her education is a multi-year commitment that will strengthen the financial aspects of your relationship in the long term.  When I first met my wife she had been out of school for some years, and had given up the dream of ever finishing high school.  Some years later, she's half way through a teaching program at university in Cebu.  But it's taken a multi-year commitment, by both of us, that started long before we got married. 

 

 - OP is 44..  and I assume g/f is younger.  Will there be children in this relationship?  When?  Where will they be born?  Will they be born illegitimate or legitimate (recommended.. this is BIG issue for Filipina). 

 

 - Now for the really big one..    OP says he's back in Canada now, at age 44, focusing ALL his efforts at saving money so that he can retire early.  Really?  Is that true?  Even while paying ex-wife?  In my opinion, if OP is REALLY serious to build a life with this girl, then there is likely a LOT more that can be done to save money faster.  For example..  if OP is a smoker, then quit.  A Tim Hortons (coffee shop) addict?  then quit that too.  Cook at home.  Less booze.  Expensive toys?  cancel those.  Reduce spending on phones, internet, TV, and other electronic "stuff".  Smaller and less expensive home.  Less expensive car.  Reduced driving.   And so on.  is OP willing to take a second job, so that he can save faster?  The main point I'm trying to make here is that if OP is REALLY !! serious about saving for early retirement there are many ways to do it, but it is TOUGH and takes a REALLY determined individual over an extended time period.  Is OP willing to put that kind of skin in the game for his girl?  I have a Filipina sister in law here who worked two full time jobs for a couple of years to ensure that she and my brother achieved a goal that they set.  Is OP tough enough for that?

 

(BTW..  then she bought my brother a motorcycle, which he upgraded 2 years later for a Harley.. so he could ride his girl in style)

 

OP wants this to be a long term relationship.  OK..  besides "she's not coming to Canada".. what's the plan?  If there's no plan besides a one week vacation twice a year indefinitely, then this long distance relationship will last until it no longer lasts, and OP simply needs to accept that.  And if OP wants his girl to remain his, then how serious will OP and his girl get about the real work of a relationship.

 

Read the words to the Beyoncé song..  she's speaking for Filipina as well..

 

All the single ladies, all the single ladies
 All the single ladies, all the single ladies
 All the single ladies, all the single ladies
 All the single ladies

 

Now put your hands up
 Up in the club, we just broke up, I'm doing my own little thing
 Decided to dip and now you wanna trip
 'Cause another brother noticed me

 

I'm up on him, he up on me
 Don't pay him any attention
 Just cried my tears, for three good years
 Ya can't be mad at me

 

'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
 If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on i
t
 Don't be mad once you see that he want it
 'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

...

 

I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
 Got me tighter in my Dereon jeans
 Acting up, drink in my cup
 I can care less what you think

 

I need no permission, did I mention
 Don't pay him any attention
 'Cause you had your turn, and now you gonna learn
 What it really feels like to miss me

 

'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
 If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
 Don't be mad once you see that he want it
 'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

.

and so on...  that should be enough to get my point across.

Edited by to_dave007
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jtmwatchbiz

 

 

My question is this, should I continue to have a long distance relationship with this girl if I am not physically there especially if we decide to get married? We have talked about this and we have agreed to continue our relationship from afar.

 

 

is it just me or are you telling us you came all the way to the Philippines, fully aware of your limitations concerning a new relationship, met up with and already agreed with the gal to continue with this relationship, and now are having second thoughts? 

 

with all due respect since you were aware of your situation and limitations, what was going thru your mind that prompted you to come to the Philippines in the first place? just to see if you can pull it off? you don't want to bring a gal back to Canada and can't move here.  you need to get real with his gal as her life will be effected just as much as yours with this bizarre set of circumstances you are laying out to us.

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colemanlee

 

 

Am I being completely out to lunch on this?    

 

In a word, yes

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cebulover2000

My wife came to Canada in 2008, since then, the country has literally been overrun by Filipinos, to that extend that the government has set up restrictions which makes it harder or impossible for regular workers to apply for residency.

 

When I read your statement about you wondering if she will like it in Canada and that it would be too cold, I have to ask "Have you not noticed what I mentioned above". I don't know the exact number of Filipinos who took residency in Canada over the last 7 years but it must be very high, they are everywhere.

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Soarking

I was born and raised in North Dakota and when we visit there or anywhere cold my Filipino Wife adjusts better than I do. So just because she is from the PI dos not mean she won't handle the cold.

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My wife came to Canada in 2008, since then, the country has literally been overrun by Filipinos, to that extend that the government has set up restrictions which makes it harder or impossible for regular workers to apply for residency.

 

When I read your statement about you wondering if she will like it in Canada and that it would be too cold, I have to ask "Have you not noticed what I mentioned above". I don't know the exact number of Filipinos who took residency in Canada over the last 7 years but it must be very high, they are everywhere.

Overrun by Filipinos?  You make it sound like that they are taking over Canada.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Unlike a certain other breed of immigrant here, the Filipinos I have met here in Canada are hard-working family people that adjust well to Canadian society.

Edited by TorJay
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cebulover2000

Overrun by Filipinos?  You make it sound like that they are taking over Canada.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Unlike a certain other breed of immigrant here, the Filipinos I have met here in Canada are hard-working family people that adjust well to Canadian society.

 

 

Yes, they all are hardworking. I didn't mean this as negative but rather as a comparison how many Filipino were in Canada 10 years ago.

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cebulover2000

Overrun by Filipinos?  You make it sound like that they are taking over Canada.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Unlike a certain other breed of immigrant here, the Filipinos I have met here in Canada are hard-working family people that adjust well to Canadian society.

 

 

Here some facts:

 

http://www.cicnews.com/2014/01/story-filipino-immigration-canada-013193.html

 

 

 

 

In just a few short decades, Canada’s Filipino community has grown from less than a thousand residents to become one of the country’s largest immigrant demographics. At present, over 500,000 Filipinos call Canada home, and this number is increasing rapidly. In fact, in recent years the Philippines has been the greatest source of immigrants to Canada.

The story of Filipino immigration to Canada is one of dreams, hard work, sacrifice, and success. In 2012 alone, over 32,000 new Canadian Permanent Residents came to Canada from the Philippines – a whopping 146% increase from 2004. Still more traveled to Canada that year to work (44,000) and study (918), all record highs for the country. As new arrivals settle in Canada, both countries benefit economically as well as culturally.

- See more at: http://www.cicnews.com/2014/01/story-filipino-immigration-canada-013193.html#sthash.0jsTGEQ8.dpuf
.

The History of Filipino Immigration to Canada

Filipino immigration to Canada began somewhat late compared to many other nationalities. Immigrants from the Philippines were first recorded in small numbers in the year 1930. By the 50s and 60s, only 800 or so had settled in Canada. Almost all resided in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

Since the 1990s, immigration from the Philippines had increased steadily. Many new arrivals came to work as live-in caregivers across Canada. More and more began to settle in major Canadian metropolises, especially Toronto. Today, over 200,000 Filipino immigrants reside in the greater Toronto area, more than in any other city.

Winnipeg, however, has remained a major destination for newcomers from the Philippines, with 1 in 10 Filipino immigrants living in this city. Filipinos are now recognized as Winnipeg’s largest ethnic minority, making up almost 9% of the city’s total population.

Many Filipinos have worked hard to bring their immediate families to Canada. Oftentimes, an individual will first come to Canada as a temporary worker, leaving spouses and children behind. Once permanent residency is achieved, they are then able to reunite with their families in Canada.

Canada’s generous family sponsorship rules allow permanent residents to sponsor not only children and spouses, but parents and grandparents as well. These include the popular Parent and Grandparent Sponsorship Program as well as the new Super Visa Program, which offers long-term visitor visas to qualified applicants. The introduction of these family reunification programs has contributed to a secondary upsurge in new arrivals from across the Philippines.

Where do Filipino Canadians Work?

Whether from the Philippines or any other country, there is no ‘typical’ immigrant to Canada. Filipinos in Canada can and do work in a wide range of disciplines in every province in the country. Because many Filipinos have a good command of the English language, they are able to find jobs and quickly settle into their new homes upon arrival.

Many Filipino immigrants find work in one of two popular fields: nursing and care giving. Prospective immigrants with experience in these fields are in luck, as Canada has many immigration programs geared towards workers with these skill sets. In fact, Canada has a dedicated Live-In Caregiver Program that facilitates the entry of these workers to the country. In addition, popular immigration programs such as the Quebec Skilled Worker Program award high points to nurses, while many Provincial Nominee Programs have created special programs targeting healthcare workers, skilled tradespersons and even food service managers.

Filipino workers in Canada are important to both the Canadian and Philippine economies. While workers in Canada help to fill important labour shortages, the Philippines benefits from approximately $2 billion in remittances sent from Canada every year.

The Filipino-Canadian Community Today

The Filipino community has become well integrated into the fabric of Canadian society. In 2012, Tobias Enverga Jr became Canada’s first senator of Filipino descent. Another Filipino-Canadian, Rey Pagtakhan, was elected to Parliament in 1998 and served as the Secretary of State for Asia and the Pacific from 2001 to 2004.

Many members of Canada’s Filipino community maintain strong ties with their home country, which in turn has led to a strengthening of bilateral relations between Canada and the Philippines. These relations were underscored in the wake of the recent tragedy of Typhoon Haiyan, which devastated many parts of the Philippines. Canada has to date donated over $20 million to relief efforts, and deployed dedicated emergency response teams. In addition to relief efforts, Canada is allowing priority processing of immigration applications for individuals who have been affected by the typhoon.

Such gestures demonstrate the strong connection that has developed between Canada and the Philippines. As thousands of new temporary and permanent residents settle in Canada every year, this connection will continue to strengthen and deepen. The future will see Filipinos in Canada continue to shape the country’s character and heritage in more ways than ever before.

- See more at: http://www.cicnews.com/2014/01/story-filipino-immigration-canada-013193.html#sthash.0jsTGEQ8.dpuf
Edited by cebulover2000
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I just want to say that I appreciate all of your comments they are certainly helping me see the folly of my thinking on this. That's why I asked the question on this in the first place :pardon:

 

In response to to_dave007 who has brought up a lot of good points I'll try to answer as much as possible.

 

 

- For OP, is your divorce final.  Are you free to marry yet. If not, get it done.  This ended up being the main reason to delay in my own case.

 

Divorce is in it's final stages just waiting for it to pass through the courts. Expect final divorce by December of this year.

 

 

Does she have a full set of ID papers..  NSO birth certificate, passport, at least.  If not, get it started.. Can take a while.  Does she have kids..  if so then same applies to them as well.

 

Currently working on this. No kids, never been married. CENOMAR will obviously prove this.

 

 

Does OP wish to marry his g/f.  BIG BIG mistake NOT to make up his mind on this issue.  As Beyoncé says..  if you want it.. you better put a ring on it.  Nowhere in the world is this MORE important than with a Filipina, and if OP is not willing to make up his mind on this issue, he should not be surprised if she does not wait forever. If you'll marry.. then where?  and when?  If it will be in PI, then research what's needed, and start preparing.

 

Yes I fully intend to marry her. In Cebu in the Spring. Have already got information from the city on the requirements for civil marriage and yes I did put a ring on her finger.

 

 

What is her education?  She works in sari-sari now.  Did she finish high school?  College?  Is it intended that she will ever work in Canada?  Doing what?  

 

She has up to grade 9 high school. She owns the sari-sari. Did not finish high school. Hopefully will be able to work in Canada but her English is not perfect. Not sure.

 

 

Will there be children in this relationship?  When?  Where will they be born?

 

Yes we have discussed having children in the near future. Probably in Cebu and/or Canada.

 

 

Now for the really big one..   

 

I don't smoke, don't go to Timmies, don't drink and I don't have expensive toys. The only luxuries I have are a cell phone (no home phone) which I downgraded to a cheap plan and Internet to be able to talk to my g/f every day and I don't have cable TV.

 

I live in a small 1 bedroom apartment, drive a Hyundai Accent with no loan on it. Getting a second job is not as easy as it sounds since I am always over qualified and trust me I have tried but will keep trying so I can save more money. And yes I want to put my "back" into this relationship.

 

 

OP wants this to be a long term relationship.  OK..  besides "she's not coming to Canada".. what's the plan?  If there's no plan besides a one week vacation twice a year indefinitely, then this long distance relationship will last until it no longer lasts, and OP simply needs to accept that.  And if OP wants his girl to remain his, then how serious will OP and his girl get about the real work of a relationship.

 

Yes I want a long term relationship and have decided to bring her to Canada on a spousal sponsorship after we get married (thanks to all your feedback on this). I really don't want to lose her and this is probably the best thing I can do. We may not live rich as kings but at least we will be together and have each other.

Edited by Bassix
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