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Oh Dear Australia


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ozboy

Hey we love to take the mickey out of ourselves.....they are copping more stick here than anywhere else...

 

Wait till the shit hits the roof if Alan Goodes gets booed today....Maybe you do not know about the drama but here is a sum up by one ''like or hate'' him commentator.....

 

SAM NEWMAN ON THE FOOTY SHOW LAST NIGHT

"I notice this week Geelong is going to run out between a mutual banner with the Swans,".

“Why don’t they let the Swans get the first couple of goals just so they feel good about themselves and see if they can give them a lift up and maybe just stop the Cats from getting in the finals?”

"So then we get to St Kilda who are thinking of having a gay pride game.

“Now I know you are going to say this is nothing to do with homophobia. This is just using the competition again as some political agenda.

“Why don’t we have a boat people day next week or what about we have a transgender round and we will get Caitlin Jenner to sing at the grand final?

“I am a white, Anglo Saxon, male, Protestant, heterosexual and I am waiting for my day to come, and when it does I will be first in line to say Show stupid is this?

“Couldn’t we just leave the game to try and get hold of itself and I would suggest St Kilda and Geelong and the Swans worry about a game plan that might get them into the finals without worrying about every other political cause on earth."

Newman ended by saying that people who claim that the booing of Adam Goodes is racism, are just “dribblers who just want to get noticed”.

 

Well now watch us perform in the last test and players retain their careers......

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The phone rings in the Australian Cricket Team's changing room. "G'day. Could I speak to Michael Clarke, please?" "Aww, look, sorry mate, he's just gone out to bat." "Oh, that's alright, mate. I'll ha

Not even a little bit funny....   Well maybe a little...

Haud the fecking bus here, fanny baws.   None of my overly pale and thoroughly freckled Scottish skin is in the game.  I am merely the facilitator between a bunch of convicts and a pack of privately

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ozboy

Got more than 3 n half hours to kill before your entertainment commences....

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Alan S

The Australian cricket team have terminated their sponsorship deal with Immodium.

They are blaming it for stopping the runs.


 

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bargeman

British Police are considering charging the Australian Cricket team with 'Loitering with no Intent'.

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Scotsbloke

Well that's the urn back in Nigeland.  Well done England.

 

Nae luck, Aussie fans.  Your team really let you down   The upside is that this side will be dismantled and rebuilt after the next test.

 

On to The Oval!

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ozboy

Yes n we can re-build with a tour to Sri Lanka...will be interesting to see how England cope travelling to warmer climates...The pitches there suit English cricket perfectly.....

 

BUT great win, better team in the series by far...

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woodchopper

Australian test cricket captain Michael Clarke has confirmed he's retiring at the end of the Ashes.

Australia's Ashes defeat looks to have ended Michael Clarke's career.

England has reclaimed the Ashes after defeating Australia in the fourth test at Trent Bridge.

Australia was bowled out for 253 runs, handing England a victory by an innings and 78 runs.

'I will have one more test mate and that will be the end of my career', Clarke told Channel Nine commentator Shane Warne.

'Time rights now. Mate'.

'My performance in this series and over the last twelve months have not been acceptable to me'.

Clarke has been under increasing pressure throughout the five-Test series due to a slump with the bat.

It's understood he has agreed with selectors that the time is right to step down.

Steve Smith will lead the side in their next Test assignment, a tour of Bangladesh in October.

Smith captained Australia in three Tests against India last summer, when Clarke underwent hamstring surgery.

Clarke returned to lead the one-day side, retiring from limited-overs cricket after top-scoring in the World Cup final.

The 34-year-old has struggled in the whites since, with his current series average standing at 16.71.

Only one other Australian captain has produced a lower average in an Ashes since 1965 - Ricky Ponting's 16.14 in 2010-11.

However, the skipper declared before the fourth Test he had no intention to retire after the Ashes and remained confident the wheel would turn soon.

Coach Darren Lehmann vowed to give Clarke "as long as he needs" to find form after a crushing defeat last week at Edgbaston.

The conversation moved quickly at Trent Bridge, where the tourists effectively ceded the urn when they were skittled for just 60 in the fastest first innings in Test history.

Clarke is available for selection for the fifth Test at The Oval, but it's unclear at this stage if he will be picked and play a 115th Test.

He was shaking hands with teammates an hour before the third day was set to start at Trent Bridge.

In Clarke's past 30 Test innings, he has reached 25 just six times and scored two hundreds.

The current series will be the fifth time Clarke has played in an unsuccessful Ashes campaign.

The Nottingham nightmare will be Clarke's 13th away defeat as Test captain.

No Australia skipper has lost as many away Tests.

Yet there were plenty of highlights in Clarke's career, most notably an unbeaten knock of 329 against India in 2012 at the SCG.

If Clarke fails to reach three figures in the dead rubber, he will finish on 28 Test centuries - one less than Don Bradman.

Australia will play two Tests in Bangladesh in October then host New Zealand and the West Indies in three-Test series.

- AAP

- See more at: http://www.skynews.com.au/news/top-stories/2015/08/08/michael-clarke-to-retire-at-end-of-ashes.html?cid=BP_LINKLIST_top-stories_1_michael-clarke-to-retire-at-end-of-ashes_080815#sthash.bL8gqUar.dpuf

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Jess Bartone

How about 'capitulation' as an alternative?

 

Fair cop.

 

 

The Australian cricket team have terminated their sponsorship deal with Immodium.

They are blaming it for stopping the runs.

 

British Police are considering charging the Australian Cricket team with 'Loitering with no Intent'.

 

I'll give you Poms one thing, you know how to tell a joke.

 

 

On to The Oval!

 

Where I hope our blokes can wrestle back some scrap of dignity.

 

 

'I will have one more test mate and that will be the end of my career'

 

Maybe the Poms'll take pity on the poor bugger and let him get a few runs, get a hold of some of that dignity I mentioned.

 

Bring on young Steve Smith, this could get interesting starting with Bangladesh.

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ozboy

Actually it's sad Clarke will be remembered for this one series and not about his past captaincy....probably the 6th. best batsman in Aust. cricket.....

 

at least we won the rugby world cup, second so far in world swimming championships just 2 behind US and Playing NZ, in the netball world title final currently on......Sport is alive n well in OZ..

 

***My prediction is we will win the last test... :beer2:

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  • 2 weeks later...
Scotsbloke

So we're in to day two of the final Ashes test.

 

What a great knock for The Kangaroo Humpers..  All out for 481.

 

How will The Nigels respond?  A couple of quick wickets may produce English tears ;)

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Scotsbloke

So that's Alastair Cook done for 22.  Nice wicket for The Aussies.  The Poms are now 35-1

 

I won't be on that much over the weekend but this has been a good thread and has run since July 13th with very little rancour.

 

We had a wobble in the middle when some fandan tried to take it off course but I think it has been good-natured and good-humoured.  Thanks to all who posted!

 

I'll pop in now and then and 3-2 would reflect a decent outcome.  Behave, though, boys!

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