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Hero

I need translation help too

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Paul

How can I possibly trust her after this? The fact that she had sex with someone else is beside the point. She had sex with somebody else, then had a baby, and concealed it from me. That's the same as lying, as far as I'm concerned. To make matters worse, at the same time she was screwing this guy, she was coming on to ME!! 

 

Dude, let's not go back down this road. Do you REALLY expect ANY woman to be faithful for 9 years, while you are not there with her? 

 

Not sure if you ever answered a question someone else posted to you earlier in this thread. Have YOU been faithful to her for those 9 years? 

 

Both questions were rhetorical. I do not want, or need to know. 

 

Either way, I wish you the best in the future. 

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oztony

 

 

Hell, there are women in the PI that make a very good living from having many guys send them money each month

 

In PI you have call centres , tourism , and another little industry called scam the white guy online. This is a very common theme and at $200 you have been very fortunate.

Maybe you need to re-hash your operating mode moving forward. Best of luck.

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Hero

Look mate I know I dont know the full story and I may get my ass kicked for saying what I am about to say. It is kind of inline whith what Paul said before that upset you.

 

If you held a torch for this girl this long maybe you need to ask her if she is in a relation ship or not? I married a Filipina with 2 kids and one disabled but it is still by far the best thing I EVER did. Was the child concential or maybe she was raped? All possible or maybe she had a fling nedding a man to hold. This is normal if it has been 9 years she would have had some doubts you would ever return. Is she to stay a maid till you return and not have kids.

 

You may already know the answers to these questions and that is fine but if not she may still be worth the efford if you LOVE her. I love my wifes kids as my own because her love for me gives me enough love to give to them. Does that make sense ? Lol

 

Just a question of intrest while you were away for 9 years did you stay true to her and have you not fooled around even a little or even thought about fooling around? I dont need to know the answer but just a thought.

You're missing the point. I'm not angry at her for having a baby; I'm angry at her for not telling me about it. Yes, I dated other women, but I was honest with her about it. 

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Hero

Dude, let's not go back down this road. Do you REALLY expect ANY woman to be faithful for 9 years, while you are not there with her? 

 

Not sure if you ever answered a question someone else posted to you earlier in this thread. Have YOU been faithful to her for those 9 years? 

 

Both questions were rhetorical. I do not want, or need to know. 

 

Either way, I wish you the best in the future. 

Again, the issue isn't her unfaithfulness. I never expected her to be faithful. The issue is her lack of honesty about it, especially not telling me that she had a kid. 

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Paul

Fair enough. 

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jtmwatchbiz

 

 

To make matters worse, at the same time she was screwing this guy, she was coming on to ME!!

 

hey it's not all bad...at least she was keeping you in the loop! :)

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Hero

I'm glad that I finally found out the truth. I'm finally free from 9 years of nagging doubts. 

 

Lucky for me that she was stupid enough to post that baby's picture on her FB page with a discussion with her friends about it. 

Edited by Hero
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jtmwatchbiz

 

 

I love my wifes kids as my own because her love for me gives me enough love to give to them. Does that make sense ? Lol

 

it makes perfect sense to a man who is man enough to take care of his family. carry on!   

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jonjo

Does anyone know if that bridge still for sale?

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contraman

Does anyone know if that bridge still for sale?

Fred has the franchise, but Tony still has a used one :)
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calasiaobound

Lets see, most here know Im very happily married...and live here, so all of a sudden I decide to go back to the states...and send money to my wife for the kids etc....but I stay in the states for a number of years and we only Skype or what ever....Is there anybody, myself included that thinks she would not move on?

Could I reasonably expect her not to...though stability, money mean a lot to a Filipina, if you have a good one you should know its about closeness, communication, touching...loving..sharing...none of which can be done on a computer or with a money order....

 

One of the things I learned in the Military is long distant relationships do not work...at least 90% of the time...Paul nailed it...

There are a lot of Filipino couples who are in this type of scenario..where the husband works abroad and sends money home. My next door neighbors husband works in Kuwait and they only get to see each other for 2 weeks..every 2 years! Doesn't seem like a marriage to me but she claims to be very faithful..but admits the lack of sex is very difficult to deal with..I was surprised how open she was..but she seemed sincere when she claimed to be faithful.

My gf's sisters husband is also abroad..and I know for a fact she's faithful..but unlike the op these cpls see e/O from time to time and the guy is fully supporting the woman..now as to the faithfulness of the guy?? Doubtful hehe

 

My neighbors husband was caught cheating twice. Wonder what op's level of faithfulness has been?

Edited by calasiaobound
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littlejohn

Its a common theme here. I love and trust my wife but if I was gone a couple years would she wait for me? I doubt it even though she herself believes otherwise. Women need closeness they need physical love more than men even though they wont admit it even to themselves. She can even get a bit nuts if she goes without for a while.

 

A neighbor here his wife is a OFW everyone believes she has someone else there, especially since she doesn't come home often and seems to be distant when she does. He has gone out looking for flings I get the impression he would defiantly prefer his wife but she isn't here and he believes she has someone else there also. The general consensus of others on the subject seems to be "Be glad she still sends money home for the kids."

 

About the honesty. Before I came here I was just like you. Now I'm not so stiff about it. Don't get me wrong when my wife and I got together I told her if she ever cheated on me it would be the end and I meant it, still do. But were you engaged? Did/do you really have any claim on her? Does she wear your ring or have some other promise? No need to answer its none of my business but what was she supposed to do waste 9 of her very few reproductive years on a maybe?

 

Do you realize that past 21 years of age fertility declines? And if you haven't had your first by age 30 their is a good chance she wont ever be able to bring one to term because her pelvic bones will fuse? (obviously not the case if she has one in the mean time though).

 

When I came here to meet my wife I suspected it wouldn't work out just heard to many horror stories I guess but planned to look around never did though. But I almost left her because she told me she didn't have any children when I got here I knew the first time we were together she lied. Almost left her but found out through prodding that she was raped violently. She was ashamed that she couldn't stop the guy. She didn't like talking about it and still doesn't. It has been difficult it made it much harder to trust her but after 8 years together we're through that. Obviously she was wrong not telling me but her chances with me certainly would have been diminished if I had known about the child before hand. I understand why she did it.

 

Every situation is different though. Would be interesting to know the full story but we probably never will. Every woman is different and they all have their own reasons for lieing. And most of them do it often. Mine turned out to be more honest than most even though the relationship started out with a lie. Cant say I have an opinion one way or the other for you since I don't know the girl just food for thought.

 

I assume you have some experience here so you should know they have different definitions of lieing here. 'If it wasn't meant to harm its not a lie.' Whether its true doesn't matter only intent. Now if she just hid it and you never asked that's not even close to a lie by local definitions.

Edited by littlejohn
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Hero

But were you engaged? Did/do you really have any claim on her? Does she wear your ring or have some other promise? No need to answer its none of my business but what was she supposed to do waste 9 of her very few reproductive years on a maybe?

 

Do you realize that past 21 years of age fertility declines? And if you haven't had your first by age 30 their is a good chance she wont ever be able to bring one to term because her pelvic bones will fuse? (obviously not the case if she has one in the mean time though).

What are you saying? That she should have a kid out of wedlock with no dad present and no money to support him, just because her biological clock is running down? That's an incredibly selfish thing to do. 

Littlejohn, you're still missing the point. At the same time that this girl had a serious boyfriend and was making a baby with him, she was sweet-talking me and telling me how much she missed me and my kisses. What were her intentions? Did she plan to make a baby with this Filipino, and then trick me into supporting the kid with some story about having cervical cancer?

To answer your question, no, I didn't have a claim on her, but that didn't give her a right to treat me like sh**. 

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