Jump to content

*In a relationship* Online.


Skywalker

Recommended Posts

KennyF

When I was 10 or 11 years old I was head over heels in love with Annette Funicello  on the Micky Mouse Club.

I mean seriously.

When she appeared on TV I damn near swooned.

It wasn't sexual, but I would have done anything for her.

 

Lasted about two weeks.

 

KonC

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 49
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Skywalker

    9

  • broden

    3

  • lamoe

    3

  • smokey

    3

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Another friend of mine has just announced that he is in a committed relationship with somebody online.   They've never met.   My friend has been to Cebu a few times on holiday (he's from Hawaii) a

Ive related it here somewhere before, I was in a "committed relationship" before I got here, for at least two years, its much too long to go into again but after being here for about eight months livi

i suppose you fall in love with what you believe them to be... then you meet and either they are who you imagined or not   the biggest problem is probably that your vision will likely be clouded by

Posted Images

A_Simple_Man

 

 

But how can an emotional attachment be achieved with a person that you've never experienced a real physical meeting

 

Ask a girl if she 'loves' Chaney Tatum after seeing all of his movies.  Personally I have a committed relationshio with Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind.  It seems to me (and this idea came from my divorce attorney of years gone by) that being in a 'relationship' with an online person is as real and addictive as playing an interactive online game, reading a good book, and watching a good movie all at the same time.  The 'relationship' is just a short circuit of our hard wiring but there is no way to fix it except to get the two parties to meet and live together for a year.  Thats about the point the fantasy will start to become a reality.

 

In the meantime, for those in an 'committed online relationship', how hard would it be for you to spend the day reading a book, watching a good movie, playing an interactive video game AND THEN going to the bar to party and get laid?  Because it is all fantasy for her as well, she will do the same.

Link to post
Share on other sites
smokey

Another friend of mine has just announced that he is in a committed relationship with somebody online.

 

They've never met.

 

My friend has been to Cebu a few times on holiday (he's from Hawaii) and is planning to retire here in a few years.

 

I really struggle with this idea that anyone can be in love with somebody that they've not actually met.  Now, I understand that these relationships can often lead to real loving relationships, but surely you can't really understand and appreciate somebody until you actually spend time with them, face to face?

on line is great it Forces you  to become friends before you become lovers 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Davaoeno

on line is great it Forces you  to become friends before you become lovers 

 

Truer words were never spoken.  In these days of lessened sexual inhibitions its very easy to end up in bed with someone on the first few dates.  I find that having been intimate with someone it is quite hard to be objective about my feelings for that person.  At least if you meet them online first it tends to slow things down.  People have been having fairly long term relationships before meeting for over a century . .  And while it is possible to fall in love with a persons ethics, morality, attitudes, personality, values etc etc  I personally think that the only ultimate test is face to face.  [ not that meeting women face to face has always led to permanent relationships in my past . Previous to the last 5 years I had never met someone online, and all of those relationships that I had been in and all of which had started off face to face ultimately ended ]

Edited by Davaoeno
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
smokey

On  line is great because it keeps your little head from writing checks your big head cant cover 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, one sister-in-law of mine started an online "relationship" (if it could termed that way) with a divorced guy from the UK with 3 girls from his previous marriage. I don't really know how long they were "friends" but he suddenly decided to fly down to Bahrain and meet her (and the extended family), most likely to check us out and see if she was not a scammer or worse. Anyway, they hit it off and he came down again, proposed, got engaged and took her off to the UK where they got married. They now have 2 children and this year will mark 6 years of marriage for them.

 

To tell you the truth, I was (still am) not a big fan of online relationships because its kinda hit or miss that you will find the "one". We have come across many such "relationships" that didn't work (pretty nasty in some cases), BUT there are real exceptions and in this case, it worked.

Edited by dHb
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Skywalker

 

 

I don't really know how long they were "friends" but he suddenly decided to fly down to Bahrain and meet her

 

BOOM!

 

And now we have over-reached the position I was talking about in the opening post.

 

I wonder if they were in a *relationship* before they actually met.  Or whether they simply changed their friendship to a closer model, after meeting, which they evidently did.  It's a big thing for a girl to take on 3 kids - good for her.

Link to post
Share on other sites

BOOM!

 

And now we have over-reached the position I was talking about in the opening post.

 

I wonder if they were in a *relationship* before they actually met.  Or whether they simply changed their friendship to a closer model, after meeting, which they evidently did.  It's a big thing for a girl to take on 3 kids - good for her.

Yeah well, the youngest was 16 at the time and my SIL did have problems with the eldest - girls can be pretty protective of their dads. But it all got sorted out after they got to know each other. Now they are the best of friends. Of course it did help that the first child born was a boy :-)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Skywalker

 

 

my SIL did have problems with the eldest

 

A little bit off topic, but there are PLENTY of wives here, that are considerably younger than their current husbands children from a previous relationship.   :yahoo:

 

I met a chap recently, who was in town to marry his girlfriend.  They had never actually met before, though their online relationship had been serious for many weeks.  And they did indeed get married, and are now going through the process so he can take her to his Country to live.  Takes all sorts I suppose.

Link to post
Share on other sites
SkyMan

 

 

I wonder if they were in a *relationship* before they actually met.
Well today, what is the difference between online and in person?  Unless your definition of relationship requires sex?  The only difference really is that you can't touch them.  But you can see them, hear what they say, see their mannerisms and reactions.  But even before the internet you had couples falling in love via snail mail.  I guess you hoped the person writing you was actually the person whose picture you received.  It could be that a relative with better writing skills was actually the author.  No problem really as long as the author is conveying the thoughts of the 'friend.'  I would hate to think sex is a requirement to know someone or have a relationship with them.  As Ian said, in many ways online can be better as you have to get to know each other as friends first.

 

I met a chap recently, who was in town to marry his girlfriend.  They had never actually met before, though their online relationship had been serious for many weeks.  And they did indeed get married, and are now going through the process so he can take her to his Country to live.  Takes all sorts I suppose.
I've met a few of these.  Makes me think of "Fools rushing in..."  But it can work out.
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Irenicus

It just seems so....immature.  I'm not trying to be judgemental, I just can't see the logic of it.

 

You are trying to apply rational logic to an irrational emotive state.

 

Lemme know how that works out for you.

 

;)

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
youngwillie

Another friend of mine has just announced that he is in a committed relationship with somebody online.

 

They've never met.

 

My friend has been to Cebu a few times on holiday (he's from Hawaii) and is planning to retire here in a few years.

 

I really struggle with this idea that anyone can be in love with somebody that they've not actually met.  Now, I understand that these relationships can often lead to real loving relationships, but surely you can't really understand and appreciate somebody until you actually spend time with them, face to face?

 

The more affected by loneliness the person is the more likely they are to "commit" to an online friend.

 

If they are profoundly affected then their reaction to loneliness will be equally profound.

 

In your friend's case he has succesfully distanced himself from logic. - Profoundly.

 

It could work out well, it's nice to see it when things do. It takes years of living under the same roof to see how strong the love actually is.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Headshot

my wife and i were pen pals since we were kids

but it never struck us at all till we met... then it did 

 

What did you have to strike her with to convince her to marry you?  :fighting0029:

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Headshot

I'm not trying to be judgemental

 

:ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:  Oh no...I'm sure you would never do that...  :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:

 

Maybe I'm chasing an idea that has past it's use-by-date.

 

Maybe...

 

People build mental boxes for ordering how they think things should be in the world by referring to their own established paradigms...which may or may not still be valid. It's hard to build a box around something fluid like "how to form relationships", and expect it to stay static and unchanging in a changing world. The Internet has been a major source for forming new relationships since the turn of the century, and its role in relationship formation has been increasing every year since the Internet (and social sites) came into play. Why does anybody care how somebody else formed their relationship? If they are happy with the results, then that's all that counts.

Edited by Headshot
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I <3 Cebu

Another friend of mine has just announced that he is in a committed relationship with somebody online.

 

They've never met.

 

My friend has been to Cebu a few times on holiday (he's from Hawaii) and is planning to retire here in a few years.

 

I really struggle with this idea that anyone can be in love with somebody that they've not actually met.  Now, I understand that these relationships can often lead to real loving relationships, but surely you can't really understand and appreciate somebody until you actually spend time with them, face to face?

Well i'm sorry for you, that you cannot understand & "struggle" with the concept.

 

Reality on the subject is though: yes - two intelligent (or not) people CAN gain feelings for eachother without actually physically meeting. It's been happening for a long time.. even before the internet days.

 

Whats even more "zany", this is not limited to people who are oceans apart!

 

Finally, i'd just like to welcome you to 2015.

 

...Cheers

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..