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Salty Dog

Should your spouse be your best friend?

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davidn

They ought to be, and I thought mine was. Until she decided not to be. People, and their priorities, can change.

 

I have learned through hard experience that your best friend is always your inner self. Listen and trust your own conscience. It rarely tells you lies. 

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JamesMusslewhite

Actually I was thinking about some smart-ass comeback about putting up with you for 27 years... :db:

 

Did you forget who trained me?   :unknw:

 

 

That is quite simple. My wife actually thinks that I am her "Trophy Husband"...  :biggrin_01:

 

(she also tells me that she has yet figured out what sick twisted contest in Hell it was that she actually won?)

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Davaoeno

your best friend is always your inner self. Listen and trust your own conscience. It rarely tells you lies. 

 

OOOOOOMMMM !!

post-8045-0-36186700-1422241496_thumb.jpg

Edited by Davaoeno
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A_Simple_Man

 

 

as you became fused, you became more and more dependent on each other to meet your individual needs.   That’s the problem with your spouse being your best friend.

 

Sounds like this was written by a person who only had one 'best friend' in the whole world who is now 'best friends' with his/ her spouse and I sense a jilted feeling in the air.

 

Why do people assume that a 'best friend' is someone you spend 24/7 with?  My best friend is still back in Canada and I have not seen him in person for about 8 years but if I needed him he would be on a plane and here with 48 hours, and vice versa.  However my significant other is also my 'best friend'

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Salty Dog
I have learned through hard experience that your best friend is always your inner self. Listen and trust your own conscience. It rarely tells you lies. 

 

There's that Hallmark stuff again.  :biggrin_01:

 

Sounds like this was written by a person who only had one 'best friend' in the whole world who is now 'best friends' with his/ her spouse and I sense a jilted feeling in the air.

 

Why do people assume that a 'best friend' is someone you spend 24/7 with?  My best friend is still back in Canada and I have not seen him in person for about 8 years but if I needed him he would be on a plane and here with 48 hours, and vice versa.  However my significant other is also my 'best friend'

 

Best Friend: a person's closest friend.  :cool_01:

 

Not Friends...

Edited by Salty Dog

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A_Simple_Man

 

 

Best Friend: a person's closest friend.    Not Friends...

 

And that is the problem, for me, when one person puts all their energy into having only one 'best' friend. Why?  Why not have 3 friends who are equally important in your life?  I have 'dumped'  more than one male friend who wanted to be 'best friends' singular as I find it suffocating.

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to_dave007

When I was a child, a friend of my mothers once gave me the following pearl of wisdom..   "If, in your entire life, you can count your close friends on the fingers of one hand, then you are a lucky person".  As a child I did not make a lot of sense to me, but as I got older it became totally clear.

 

Perhaps I could accept that my wife might not be my "closest" friend..  and I don't really like the implications of such a competition anyway..  But I do count my wife on  one of those 5 fingers, and I wouldn't have it any other way..

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motorboy

Your wife should not be your best friend. She is your spouse, lover, partner, and that person who won't give you a minutes peace. Happiness is having a life apart from each other. There is no reason to spend 24/7 with any person. It gets old fast. One major mistake I made when I got married was relying primarily on my ex as my main social outlet. We both for the most part gave up our pasts lives when we got married. We were hardly apart from each other, so we never were excited to see each other. I enjoyed doing certain things that she did not, and vice versa. Rather then have a healthy relationship where we should of continued our hobbies and interests; we both gave them up over time. Instead I (her) should of been enjoying time with a good friend apart from each other. I remember going out to eat one night in Mexico and we both just sat there bored out of our minds. We had nothing to say to each other because we were never apart.

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rainymike

All my adult life, I've had to work with a lot of people and be smiling while they were dumping on me. I did have work buddies. But, when I went home every night, I left all the people behind and enjoyed my own quiet time. I really did not care to see anyone after work hours. Never got bored. Never got lonely. Just needed time to recharge. That hasn't changed much.

 

My partner and I spend a lot of time together. But we spend time apart as well. She needs girl time to socialize with other classmate moms. I need some time alone to do some online hobbies. Works fine for us. A lot of the time we're together we're doing family things - helping the kids with schoolwork, planning where we want to live, looking at the budget, cooking, doing karaoke or just watching some tv show. Those simple mundane things are fine by me these days. Seems to work for her as well.

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Kabisay-an gid

Your wife should not be your best friend. She is your spouse, lover, partner, and that person who won't give you a minutes peace. Happiness is having a life apart from each other. There is no reason to spend 24/7 with any person. It gets old fast. One major mistake I made when I got married was relying primarily on my ex as my main social outlet. We both for the most part gave up our pasts lives when we got married. We were hardly apart from each other, so we never were excited to see each other. I enjoyed doing certain things that she did not, and vice versa. Rather then have a healthy relationship where we should of continued our hobbies and interests; we both gave them up over time. Instead I (her) should of been enjoying time with a good friend apart from each other. I remember going out to eat one night in Mexico and we both just sat there bored out of our minds. We had nothing to say to each other because we were never apart.

Having one's wife for a best friend doesn't mean she has to be your only friend. Having her as a best friend doesn't mean you have to spend all of your time together.

 

One should certainly have a few good friends to do things with, and spending some time apart from the wife now and then is healthy. If you know how to balance things properly, you can do those things and still have your wife as your best friend.

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JamesMusslewhite

Reminds me of what one friend once told me here, "I am by no means an expert on marriage, but I am a pro on the subject of divorces."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Edited by JamesMusslewhite
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HTM

"Should your spouse be your best friend?"

 

NO!!!

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Laurence

For me, a wife is not a friend. She is a wife, a person who knows things about you that one friend can never know. Maybe, if you take all your friends ... collectively they may almost know you the same as a wife. They may, also know of another side of you that a wife isn't aware of.

No, a best friend (or friends) are very different to a wife / spouse. 

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Monsoon

I wonder how many people who have commented on this topic one way or another don't have a wife?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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