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jheng1803

I dont understand my american boyfriend!

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sugbu777

Dump the guy. Not worth the hassle. He doesn't really care about you, only his own gratification.

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ROVER
wow.. I am sorry...this seems a little over the top to me...this was not about paranoia, danger or crime... This is, IMHO, a simple good girl asking for some constructive input to her situation....there is crime every where dude...if the only people you ever talked to about the USA and had no other gauge, were from downtown Detroit or the west side of Chicago?...what would your opinion be formed from?...this is an unfair assumption.....in my opinion and really not to the matter at hand

 

Come on guys use the head...I was referring  :sarcasm: to the post that I Quoted about Filipina's being MURDERED BY American's in America ".There have been cases here in the US where Filipinas were murdered by their husbands for insurance reasons, because they've fallen out of love with the Filipina, etc. etc".  Things happen for a reason........We all know that no matter what nationality there have been wives abused in ALL COUNTIES.....And I will venture to say...more Foreign husband have been murdered by Filipina Girlfriends and husbands wives, than Visa-versa.....ANY YOU KNOW THAT we read it ourselves at least once a month here and over the years before there was Internet...and before THE FILIPINO BANKS set the rules that Wives can't be on an Americans SS acount (for that very reason) how many have been murdered and no one suspected a thing....

 

Not only is that statement false...(when was the last time you read about a Filipina being murdered by her American Husband in America?)...like someone else posted there was 2 in Texas along time ago (By the same ONE GUY) Can someone name another Filipina from the Philippines that Married an American went to the States and was murdered by him because he "Feel out of Love?  JUST ONE MORE?

 

That Statement of misconception could be enough to cause a Filipina to NOT...marry someone she loves and have a better life...when it is pure Fantasy, husband/wife murders happen all over the world, not just in America, or by Americans, Not just to Filipinas, But Husbands also are murdered by the wives...for money, another man, whatever....

 

If we are trying to help someone then WE need to call out the untrue Statements that are made here.

 

I agree with both your post and Paul's that the guy is probable just a butterfly playing games.......

 

But A STATEMENT WAS MADE THAT IS NOT TRUE...and I challenged it....

Edited by ROVER
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Tin

Dump him before he dumps you :)

He doesn't appreciate you and the things you've compromised for the relationship. Letting go of someone is easy to say and painful to do but be very strong and make the decision soon, remember this is not only  your life  at stake but your son's life too.  :) You deserve someone better.

Good luck Girl. 

 

 

 

*Men are innate bullshitters, it takes an intellectual man to get over this nature.*

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Paul

Dump him before he dumps you :)

He doesn't appreciate you and the things you've compromised for the relationship. Letting go of someone is easy to say and painful to do but be very strong and make the decision soon, remember this is not only  your life  at stake but your son's life too.  :) You deserve someone better.

Good luck Girl. 

 

 

 

*Men are innate bullshitters, it takes an intellectual man to get over this nature.*

 

jheng, this is advice from another Filipina, by the way.

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tomaw

yes i know its 2 to tango, i cannot blame myself i got carried away and fall in love, on our first month he come visit already and he visits every 6 weeks despite his busy schedule doing work and studies, he was so nice and showed a lot of love, maybe im stupid to fall for that trick, but it happens anyway, im not after to going to US, i actually prefer for him to move here, he tried but with no luck on job hunting, its because his studies is only related on working at foundations, non profit and social services, which he have hard time finding a job related to that here. about my child i introduce him to my family, he was so nice to my son, they bond together and he notice hes looking for father figure, i cannot complain about how he is before november last year, hes just so perfect, now there this problem

 

i didnt know at first that hes not yet divorced, then he told me, but i already fall for him, so i forgave and try to understand him, since he said that it will be over in 6 months, he do his part on actions in the past, the real problem is just now, for me, the thing he complain is a very shallow reason for the relationship to end like this, since im trying to do my part and do what he likes me to do, i just dont know if hes just making this all up to get rid of me or what, or if the thing hes complaining is like a BIG thing on american guys, i just dont have idea, if i need to show him this forum then ill do it, just to get answers. yes my education wont be wasted, its just that the reason i didnt pursue it here is because the pay is low and i earn more on doing business, i just pursued it because we planned on going to US and ofcourse i dont want to be just a housewife, and he also agreed on that, if not for those plan i wont go back to study

 

what do you mean? im from philippines

I think he meant what city or province are you from.

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tomaw

All the relationship advice can be very subjective including my own comments. Howevmer, when it comes to living and working in either The US or the Philippines the facts are very clear. Even the most professional jobs in The Philippines pay a fraction of what they get in the US. He's way too young to collect Social Security. To get full benefits he needs to be 66 years old. Just from a purely financial perspective, I think you'd both be way better off in The US. Your son also will have a much brighter future in The US. Now, when it comes to the emotional stuff I read two things from you. You say you love him but other things you say seems to tell me he's making you feel miserable. Believe me, there are lots of guys in the US that would love to take this guy's place and make you and your son happy. Take time with anybody. I met my wife on the internet and made 3 trips over 3 years before I proposed. We've been happily married living in California now for 8 years.

Edited by tomaw
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Mang Kanor

Imo, after having a new job, he finds having a long distance girlfriend is stressful and a hindrance to his partying. My advice is to move on, find another man. There's plenty of fish in the ocean.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone 6 Plus using Tapatalk

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NOSOCALPINOY
jheng1803,

It's unfortunate you are experiencing the long distance relationship with your American boyfirend, but he doesn't seem to have the same feelings for you that you have for him.

I'm a Fil/Am btw, but more Americanized since I grew up in Northern and Southern California. To make a long story short, my wife to be and I had a 6 yr long distance courtship before we got married in the Philippines and brought her to Northern California after 8 months we were married. We will now have been married 28 yrs come tomorrow, our anniversary and we are both retired and have lived in the Philippines going on 18 yrs now!  

So, some long distance relationships do and can work as long two people are in love, sincere and honest with one another, but it seems that your American boyfriend has neither of those traits that I have mentioned!

Just listen to your common sense and do whatever you need to to do to survive while you are on your own and far away from your American boyfriend, if he can not support you financially and or emotionally!

Good luck or you may not need it, since you seem to be an educated, resourceful and independent Filipina, but anyways I wish you well in all of your endeavors for you and your son's future, if your American boyfriend doesn't come through on his promises to support you financially and emotionally!         

Edited by NOSOCALPINOY
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to_dave007

Sometimes, young and/or foolish people make stupid promises they just can't fulfil, even if they want to.

 

As an example, this foolish boy of yours made promises that he would come to work in PI.  As you now know, it's not nearly so easy to do that in reality.  Even if he wanted to, it's illegal for him to work in PI under MOST if not all circumstances.  So..  when he sees how difficult that is, will he be turned aside?  So far it seems so.

 

Now..  you have also made promises to him.  No doubt that includes the promise to rely upon your undying love to wait for him and to be faithful until your dying breath.. forever.  What is forever?  5 years?  10 years?  How much damage will you do to yourself and your child before you return to making your own life, and stop pursuing a childish boy who made such foolish promises?

 

And will he continue in future to make stupid promises that he can not fulfil?

 

And will you?  And if YOU build your own life and invest your money based upon his foolish promises, doesn't that make you foolish also?

 

In your 30's now, and with a child, I should think that it's time for you to stop making poor decisions.  It's your responsibility to your child to do that.  Look around you at the people you rely upon in your life for advice.  Are these people WISE?  Do you TRUST their decision making ability?  Do you ask them for advice?  Do you listen to the advice when you get it?

Edited by to_dave007

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Skywalker

 

 

Dump the guy. Not worth the hassle. He doesn't really care about you, only his own gratification.

 

I say, steady on.

 

What's wrong with a bit of gratification?

 

This thread needs some stiff upper lip.

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Skywalker

If you wish to understand the American mentality, here is something to ponder.

 

  1. The U.S. liquid gallon is defined as 231 cubic inches and equates to approximately 3.785 litres. One imperial gallon is equivalent to approximately 1.2 U.S. liquid gallons
  2. US Gallons (Liquid) to UK Gallons conversion
    www.metric-conversions.org/volume/us-liquid-gallons-to-uk-gallons.htm
     
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acman

Dump him and move on with your life.There is plenty of good men that would love to have a nice lady to love!

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Soarking

I agree you should dump him. Sounds like a guy that was dating my wife's niese long distance from US to PI. I ran a check on him here and found out he was not divorced from his wife, (like he said) and had bench warrents on him for thousands of $$$ in back child support payments and was running from a DUI. That explained why his car had expired plates and he kept jumping from job to job. His trips to the Philippines was using his brothers ID and passport. NOT real smart.

 

Sounds like the same LOSER.....

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meylou

Come on guys use the head...I was referring  :sarcasm: to the post that I Quoted about Filipina's being MURDERED BY American's in America ".There have been cases here in the US where Filipinas were murdered by their husbands for insurance reasons, because they've fallen out of love with the Filipina, etc. etc".  Things happen for a reason........We all know that no matter what nationality there have been wives abused in ALL COUNTIES.....And I will venture to say...more Foreign husband have been murdered by Filipina Girlfriends and husbands wives, than Visa-versa.....ANY YOU KNOW THAT we read it ourselves at least once a month here and over the years before there was Internet...and before THE FILIPINO BANKS set the rules that Wives can't be on an Americans SS acount (for that very reason) how many have been murdered and no one suspected a thing....

 

Not only is that statement false...(when was the last time you read about a Filipina being murdered by her American Husband in America?)...like someone else posted there was 2 in Texas along time ago (By the same ONE GUY) Can someone name another Filipina from the Philippines that Married an American went to the States and was murdered by him because he "Feel out of Love?  JUST ONE MORE?

 

That Statement of misconception could be enough to cause a Filipina to NOT...marry someone she loves and have a better life...when it is pure Fantasy, husband/wife murders happen all over the world, not just in America, or by Americans, Not just to Filipinas, But Husbands also are murdered by the wives...for money, another man, whatever....

 

If we are trying to help someone then WE need to call out the untrue Statements that are made here.

 

I agree with both your post and Paul's that the guy is probable just a butterfly playing games.......

 

But A STATEMENT WAS MADE THAT IS NOT TRUE...and I challenged it....

 

Here's your challenge.  Look it up. There's more if you like.  I will never post anything that's not true. 

 

http://kickerdaily.com/pinay-murdered-in-new-jersey-husband-arrested-for-drug-charges/

 

http://site.ninjacops.com/blog/tag/filipina-murdered-in-us/

 

http://globalnation.inquirer.net/96945/friends-raising-money-to-ship-body-of-filipina-nurse-slain-by-husband/

 

https://ph.news.yahoo.com/american-kills-filipina-girlfriend-self-york-city-081003491.html

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Mikala

 

So one was a Filipina murdered in Las Vegas by her Filipino husband. Doesn’t seem to count as an American killing a Filipina, correct?

 

Another was a Filipina murdered in New York by her Italian bf. Anyone going to New York and spending time with an Italian guy was probably out of their mind.

 

The third one was a Filipina that died of a drug overdose.

 

The fourth example was blocked.

 

Edit: my apologies for arguing with a fellow Kamaaina Meylou!

Edited by Mikala
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