Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
JohnSurrey

Abduction and Kidnapping etc. ?

Recommended Posts

JohnSurrey

Just after our son was born a couple of years ago one of our relatives (an OFW who was over from America) told us to keep him close... which was exactly what I'd been thinking given the interest that everyone seemed to be taking in him whenever we took him out.

 

Anyway we're in the provinces here in Leyte - how close do you keep your children?

 

I'm asking because basically I like mine within view of our house at all times and not outside the fence unless he's accompanied by either me or my wife... whilst I'm sure none of my wife's family would want to harm our child I have little faith in their abilities to keep him safe - partly through lack of education and worldliness and partly because they're just plain careless a lot of the time.

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Baywak

Keep him Close at ALL TIMES wherever you are,including out in the yard!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Paul

I agree with Baywak. To me, it has nothing to do with abduction / kidnapping. The vast majority of those who suffer that are Chinese, because people know they pay and pay quietly and quickly. 

 

Typically, you should always be within sight of your children to protect them from anything that could cause them harm. 

 

As far as actual abduction or kidnapping goes, I think you may be a bit on the paranoid side, though. Just bring your children up like you would in any western country. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jawny

Just after our son was born a couple of years ago one of our relatives (an OFW who was over from America) told us to keep him close... which was exactly what I'd been thinking given the interest that everyone seemed to be taking in him whenever we took him out.

 

Anyway we're in the provinces here in Leyte - how close do you keep your children?

 

I'm asking because basically I like mine within view of our house at all times and not outside the fence unless he's accompanied by either me or my wife... whilst I'm sure none of my wife's family would want to harm our child I have little faith in their abilities to keep him safe - partly through lack of education and worldliness and partly because they're just plain careless a lot of the time.

I think you have the right attitude, in general. Not to be paranoid, but just attentive. I use a parenting style which modifies only slightly as the children get older. At toddler age, an arm's length is about how far I feel comfortable when away from the relative safety of the home. As they grown into the single digit ages, the arms is replaced by a sort of "parent radar" which basically is like a radar guided missile. Alwasy have them in your radar.

 

At the time of entering school, that is when the biggest adjustments take place, and the child begins to develop freedoms and abilities to determine their own safety. I have always used the technique of developing a "sense of danger". It helps if you know the language, but body language can be pretty useful as well. Teaching your child of when to know there may be danger is for me the critical part.

 

As to Leyte, not sure why the OFW advised you the way he did. I don't recall abductions of children. If the child has a look of being foreign, that will likely create a lot more attention as they go out in public. This can be a good or bad thing, depending. But I don't believe there is as much risk of abductions as you may have been told.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
broden

little kids

you should keep a close eye on them no matter where in the world you are

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
colemanlee

I think you have the right attitude, in general. Not to be paranoid, but just attentive. I use a parenting style which modifies only slightly as the children get older. At toddler age, an arm's length is about how far I feel comfortable when away from the relative safety of the home. As they grown into the single digit ages, the arms is replaced by a sort of "parent radar" which basically is like a radar guided missile. Always have them in your radar.

 

At the time of entering school, that is when the biggest adjustments take place, and the child begins to develop freedoms and abilities to determine their own safety. I have always used the technique of developing a "sense of danger". It helps if you know the language, but body language can be pretty useful as well. Teaching your child of when to know there may be danger is for me the critical part.

 

As to Leyte, not sure why the OFW advised you the way he did. I don't recall abductions of children. If the child has a look of being foreign, that will likely create a lot more attention as they go out in public. This can be a good or bad thing, depending. But I don't believe there is as much risk of abductions as you may have been told.

We also live in Leyte, I have never felt the need to or even worried about somebody wanting to kidnap our son, and as he is only a year and a half he always has either my wife, myself or his yaya (who is very trusted) with him.  Having said that, I have noticed that whenever we go to Robinsons he gets a lot of attention, he is not what they call here "a white baby" but is lighter than the rest of the family.  He also has the kind of personality that never met a stranger, and will laugh and clown with anybody....

That said, though Im very glad he is outgoing, It presents the problem of his safety as he obviously at his age has no idea of what could happen.  I see a lot of the family here always teaching their kids the moo-moo or the aswang or something else will get you...for me thats wrong, not to mention I dont want him to be superstitious when he gets older. 

My solution is to keep an eye on him but at the same time try to let him explore and check out the world..I find that now, I have a completely different perspective on things than I did when I had my son in the states some 40 years ago...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mikewright
Anyway we're in the provinces here in Leyte - how close do you keep your children?

 

I guess it depends a lot on your neighbourhood. When our daughter was young we usually stayed in a small barangay of a few hundred people, most of whom seemed to be my wife's relatives, for a month each year. We let her leave the house every morning with a group of kids her own age and wouldn't see her again until evening. If they were hungry they would just pop into one of their uncle's or aunty's house for a snack, similarly if they were tired. We never had any concerns in the village, and it reminded me a lot of how I grew up in a small country town. If it was a school day, the teachers would let her attend school with her friends.

 

I guess the thing was that the village was small enough that everyone knew each other, and letting her stay with her friends all day enabled her to learn the language easily. One day I asked her what she had been doing during the day, and she she said she and her friends had gone to "pay respects" to "the tenant who had been shot".  Further investigation revealed that a tenant farmer had been shot dead, and the body was in the house so that visitors could pay their last respects. All the kids went , and it was treated as if it were an everyday event.

 

Basically, as it was my wife's village and she knew everyone there, and thought it was safe, I was happy to go along with that. Glad I did, it was great for my daughter, who is now treated as part of the community whenever she visits now.

Edited by mikewright
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jtmwatchbiz

 

 

Typically, you should always be within sight of your children to protect them from anything that could cause them harm.

 

always. i am a big worry-wart but sometimes it pays off. may sound too convenient for this topic but true story...just this morning i was typing away here on the forum when i heard the sound of glass breaking. our 6 yr old was playing with my wife's perfume bottles and dropped a big one on the tile floor. hunks of glass were everywhere and i had to pick her up to get her out of there or she would have stepped on the glass with her bare feet. i couldn't imagine not having anyone in the same room as our kid and leaving her alone even for a few short minutes as something simple as playing or eating can turn into an emergency in the blink of an eye.   

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
loy

We never left our daughter unattended and we always know where she is and what she is doing. She is now ten years old and my wife is the one who is most concern. If we goes to Manila to shop she is always within eye sight. 

We live in the province and i can remember twice hearing of young teenage girls disappearing without a trace. Makes me wonder if that has to do with human trafficking. Probably locked up in a brothel somewhere.

Better to be safe than sorry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..