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calasiaobound

Coming to the Philippines for the first time. Advice?

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Bonjon

Advice?  

 

Put food, friendship and understanding at the centre of the relationship and god somewhere in the bulls eye and you won't go far wrong.

 

Two month's - no need to rush.  See some country, not too much affection in public (at least at first) and don't drink to much when you're in her company.

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Contango

Never drink anything that has ice cubes in it.  most of the worst of the bacterium can survive nicely on ice....

I used to follow this advice until it was pointed out to my by a hotel owner that all drinking water in hotels and restaurants etc is bottled, therefore safe, and that goes for ice cubes.

 

In the following 6 trips i have never had a problem and have indulged with ice cubes at every opportunity.

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Enuff

I used to follow this advice until it was pointed out to my by a hotel owner that all drinking water in hotels and restaurants etc is bottled, therefore safe, and that goes for ice cubes.

 

In the following 6 trips i have never had a problem and have indulged with ice cubes at every opportunity.

I use local ice in the barangay all the time

 

If ice cubes feck you up, you might have other issues.

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calasiaobound

Ok First of all. I had to get my post approved before it'd post since I'm new. and then the weekend happened. Didnt log in to my email till an hour ago. then saw this thread got lit up. Sorry it seems like trolling. but now I have like 7 pages to sift through. I'll try to answer most things. but only have two more posts it says. 

I've yet to read past first two pages, 
kind of overwhelmed where to start. now haha. 

Pangasinan IS not near Cebu as far as I know. But we'll Visit Cebu. 

 

The plan goes  that she will meet me with fam, at airport in Manila and then I'll drive back (borrowed van no good drivers available) to the province. I believe I've decided to spend the first week in a hotel to kind of absorb my surroundings and make sure she and her fam and I click. (if not at this point I'll split and go elsewhere and do other things sans her) 
but assuming all goes well then indeed, will stay there at her home.

We're staying in Dagupan City Basically.
Although In a more Rural area where her father sharecrops on her aunts farm.
She lives with her Mom and dad and 3 other siblings. She's 25, I'm 42.  She has no children and is not married. This has been verified by multiple sources, and I feel those sources to be trustworthy.  

Her home is built of Cinder block and sheet metal. She has no running water and they use fire to cook in their oven not gas. They pump water by hand into buckets for bathing. Culture shock I already feel, but have done my best to learn and see as much of the area as I can remotely. 

We've talked extensively about my expectations of her in regard to her family and the potential leeching of pesos. She assures me that she'll support me in that regard as opposed to "pressure" me into spending. I'll be looking at her actions as opposed to her words If she's legit and has true feelings or wants any sort of future, her best and only approach is to adhere to my desire in that area. 

We plan on visiting Baguio, the beaches of Pangasinan and taking some hikes to some places I've read of. 

I'm a gold prospector by trade and by love, and am trying to see if there's any gold bearing ground to show her some panning and sluicing. If I discover any that is open to the public, then we'll travel there and mine for a few days also. 

Naturally I expect to contribute and support myself, although the family is against that (supposedly) . I know I'll be paying for a few jollibee trips and a beer run or two. 

but to me thats relatively obligatory. 

MMK. Ill read more then respond accordingly ..

 

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calasiaobound

MMK I'm to page 4 now. 

All the replies so far are based around meeting your chosen one.

There are many other things you could be advised on for your first trip .

Have you been anywhere in this part of the world before ??

If not be prepared to see poverty,do NOT let your emotions run away with you ,YOU cant save the world.

How are you with heat/humidity ?

Bring lightweight clothing.

Drink plenty of bottled water.

If you are on any kind of medication bring enough for your stay,I would also bring basic meds like asperin/paracitamol etc.

These are just somethings off the top of my head.

Dont let your heart run away with you.

Have a good search through the forum pages if you have not done so already.

Most of all enjoy the time you have here.

I've never been out of North America in my whole life. Only flown on a plane 2 times. YEARS ago. I'm not on any meds other than allergies, and I've googled to see if my meds are there and they are in generic form over the counter. Haven't been to the south of the states, i'm in the NW region so no, never experienced humidity like it is there. I hear its brutal. takes adjusting to. Thanks for the tips on clothing. I'll use this forum as a resource, and thanks for your efforts responding. appreciate it.

 

I agree the best advice is to read as much of the forum posts about life here as you can. A bit overwhelming, but the reading will generate questions which then can be answered.

Have you been here before? It can make a difference if you've had some experience with the culture. As well, if your friend is from a province that can influence her attitudes about foreigners.

Don't be too surprised if she meets you with a friend or a family member. It's pretty common to have the support of someone trusted during the first hours of meeting someone. Not a chaperone, per se. Just support.

I'd suggest that you have some ideas of what you want to do upon arrival. If there are activities or sights to see, it's a good chance to have that be your "plan".

Indeed. She's towing along with her her parents two sisters and a cousin. Meeting me at the Airport even haha. 
I have this main plan with her. but if all goes to crap. I'll split and go elsewhere. Agreed on the reading here. I'll be certain to do that.

 

1st off welcome to the forum. I hope you have been lurking for a while & soaking up some of the knowledge this place has to offer. All the advice so far has been spot on, don't let the family meet you at the airport. Spend time alone with your girl 1st before heading to the family home as living conditions might not be as you would expect. Divide your budget into chunks & don't go above that setting or you will be asking for trouble. Don't come across as a big spender cos that will set a precedent for future dealings with the family.

Most importantly don't rush into things, you have been chatting for a year but this is the 1st date & it's gonna be 24/7 for 2 months. Would you do that back home ? If you're head over heels in love after 2 months then come back home to the cold light of reality. If those feelings are both mutually strong & she is still there for you then get back & take it from there. Cos you may have found a keeper.

Enjoy your new girl, enjoy exploring the country, keep street smart at all times & keep reading here, there is a wealth of information here & it will save you lots of hassle later on.

Thanks much man. I appreciate it. I've set a standard and told her my limits and what I expect from her. This to me will be a "sign" of how serious she is. if she adheres to my desire in that regard, it'll solidify things. if not. it'll be time for me to head to Cebu hehe

 

If you are just looking for fun then follow the big guys advices, do not let her meet you in the airport and explore ph instead before meeting  her. If you are atleast 85% serious about this woman then give her the chance to prove herself to you but please give yourself  a bit of freedom of getting to know her more before you meet the family. Once you meet them they will form different expectations in their minds and surely they will ask you when are you guys  going to get married.

Im at least that percentage. Its up to her actions now frankly, to match her words. I've read up a lot since the inception of discussions with her. I won't play games with the family, the morals nor the customs. If I have the slightest doubt in her or a possible future, ill cut and run. too much time already invested if things arent square. 

 

The OP has not responded.  Looked like a troll from the start.

says the mod that knows the rules of newbs posting guidelines and the op doesnt. 

 

Does anyone care that the person asking the questions has apparently left the building? You guys are preaching to the choir, but never mind. Carry on!

had no clue as to how long my post would take to be approved and figured it might take time. got busy. your rules not mine man. if it were more fluid. i'd of been perusing the forums after posting and responding accordingly. just sayin'

 

Doesn't bother me.  I figure someone else with the same question may read this thread.

 

Actually if it was only for the benefit of the original poster, I wouldn't bother.

thanks

Edited by calasiaobound
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Woolf

The plan goes that she will meet me with fam, at airport in Manila and then I'll drive back (borrowed van no good drivers available) to the province.

 You are going to drive a van in the philippines, after spending how many hours traveling,

you never drove a car outside usa,     boy  are you in for a culture shock

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Paul

 

 

Indeed. She's towing along with her her parents two sisters and a cousin.

 

Be very careful if the "cousin" turns out to be a guy around her age. Don't mean to make you paranoid or suspicious. But, would rather you know information that has happened to others who have come before you, so you can be more well prepared for your new surroundings and people. 

 

 

 

 

had no clue as to how long my post would take to be approved and figured it might take time. got busy. your rules not mine man.

 

Actually, they are rules I set up. Those are just to prevent SPAMMERs from joining and posting. I have a zero SPAM tolerance. Anyway, to expedite your posting, I have manually moved your account into the Full Member user group. One of those executive privilege things. :)

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Ronin

 

 

I'll be looking at her actions as opposed to her words

 

Solid!

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calasiaobound

Don't take any wooden pesos and bring your own condoms :)

 

AND--- The first price is NEVER the real price !!!!

Stellar advice my man! with heed it!

 

looks like you are going to the calasiao - 

urdanetta area   - i was there about 5 or 6 years ago  - nice enough area      i stayed at the  Regency Hotel in Calasiao    - a little worn and dated rooms  but a great value  i think it was less than 1000 php a night and they give all three meals in a buffet - the food was good-  I dont know their present set up  - but if u are going to Calasiao Id check it out.   They are famous there for bangus  -supposed to be the best in the Phils    - If you want to impress your girl suck the meat and eyeballs out of the head  and say "pinoy ako na "  I'm filipino already  - Hundred Islands park isnt far and the beach at Lingayen is supposed to be very nice.   I didnt go there i went to san juan - La Union to enjoy the beach  - If its too hot head over to Baguio for a few days   not far either.      Pagasinan people seem to have more pride in their province than most places I have been in the Phils.

 

you dont go anywhere near cebu - you land in Manila  and get a bus in Pasay city to take you north  - the west coast of luzon has some ot the best beaches  - If i retired in the Phils I would consider La Union north of Pangasinan 

This is awesome info man. Thank you som much. but sorry. im not sucking the eyes from any dang thing haha Regency os now 1400 php i think when i asked for quote. Her fam works there i discovered however. so I'll not stay there if i choose not to stay with them. 

 

of course this is about advices and we all vary.

How sure are you that you are right with the truth that you are saying?

So every man who comes to ph should check in to a hotel and explore the city first probably get into the chance of meeting hookers in the city and be carried away than meeting the woman he has been talking to and probably have shared dreams with? Why not be a man and face her?  Why seem to be like a boy running away ? The woman could be true, hopeful of the year they have shared even just on the net.

Face her and see if it is what was expected.

 

The OP does not sound like a chic magnet.

Her aunt flat out changed her perspective on the airport thing actually and did indeed plant the seed of my potential to meet other women. since then she's kind of awoken to this sense of jealousy that didnt seem to exist before.

btw. I'm kida a "chick magnet"...j/s  (joke)

 

Actually, staying with the family is a great way to get to know them. However, I would NEVER suggest it for a first timer. If you are going to go straight to meet with the family, keep your own place, a hotel, for the first trip. Get to know them, where they live, how they live, etc., and learn something of the country first. Upon your next trip, you will be more prepared from what you learned during your first trip. 

 

 

 

You are calling him a troll when it hasn't been 12 hours since his first post. Unlike most of us, he may have a job, or some other serious commitments to attend to, besides this forum. 

 

By the way, his IP address showed a West Coast Time Zone. So, it is quite reasonable for him not to have replied yet.

Thanks for the anti troll support mate. you're correct. I'm no troll. Was a serious post from inception.

 

Some good advice here( if u ever log back on).

As paul and a few others have stated. Take a bit of time to adjust before heading straight to the family.

Meet the woman you are chatting somewhere neutral.

Stay in a hotel for the first few days instead of going straight to stay at the families.

Why on earth you would think staying at a woman and her families house the first day u meet them makes no sense but hey, its the advice from every member here so ignore it at your own peril.

 

You have been " chatting" for a year.

This does not mean you know the person you have been chatting to.

Imagine it more like the first one or two dates where both you and her have tried to make the best you presentable.

Real life meeting is actually your first date.

Would u live with a woman and her family in your own country after one date?

No.

No you wouldn't so don't do it here.

General rule of thumb where ever u travel to in the world.

If you wouldn't do it at home, you don't do it anywhere, you don't pack your shit then leave your brains at home now do you?

Regardless of everything else, generally speaking from many other people that have done what you are doing before you.

Probability is nothing you have been told is true.

Don't be shocked to discover she has three or four men she also chats with regularly and don't trust her, the family or anyone else till you have your sea legs in order which, coincidently brings us back to, stay in a hotel.

Hard to run if something is amiss if you are staying with a family.

Much easier at a hotel if you need to do a runner.

Oh yeah.... U know her, shes not like that..blah blah blah.

Heard it all before.

Ill say it again, some good advice here from guys with many years of boots on the ground.

Soak it up.

 

 

 

 

Bah Humbug

I only know what she's revealed. whether thats real or not. i'll discover soon. She seems sincere. if not she's going to a lot of effort as i can hardly get a moment to myself when she's awake. always texting . FB, cam, skype etc etc. right now I said good bye to her (4 30 am my time 8 30 pm hers) and she got upset. she tries to keep me awake till she falls asleep most nights. cant do that on the reg and keep $$ in my pocket haha. 

 

if she's got sponsors/ chatters etc. hopefully that will reveal itself. all i can do is get eyes on her and hope to observe some truth

 

1.  Definitely do not stay with the family.

 

2.  Don't lie to her about changing your flight.  Is that really any way to begin a relationship?

 

3.  Don't think of this girl as anything other than a chat mate until you spend time with her.

 

4.  Spend some time with her and some time on your own before meeting her family.

 

5.  If she or her family is the type that refuses to let you go out alone, it's a red flag.

 

6.  Have fun and be careful!

 

lice???

yikes! noted dang that sucks haha

Never drink anything that has ice cubes in it.  most of the worst of the bacterium can survive nicely on ice....  

Secondly,  never meet the family until AFTER you and the girl have spent quality time together first.  that could be 2 days or some weeks depending on the individuals.    if she objects then my guess would be that she wont be a good fit for a westerner or living in a western country in the future.

 

just my .015

ok. wont do that either. had no idea bout that. just planned on buying bottled. thats what they do.................

 

............ok. caught up. now lets go from here if anyone wants to know more. ask hehe

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samatm

Geeeez where do we start guys:    Let me just chime in my 2 bits:  

 

1.  NO DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT DRIVING IN MANILA TO THE PROVINCE.     This is not THE US>  Traffic is horrible and you need to know your way around.    HIRE A  CAR to get you to the BUS station.

 

2. Please do take a video journal and blog your trip .. this sounds good:   :popcorn:

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SomeRandomGuy

Stellar advice my man! with heed it!

 

This is awesome info man. Thank you som much. but sorry. im not sucking the eyes from any dang thing haha Regency os now 1400 php i think when i asked for quote. Her fam works there i discovered however. so I'll not stay there if i choose not to stay with them.

 

Her aunt flat out changed her perspective on the airport thing actually and did indeed plant the seed of my potential to meet other women. since then she's kind of awoken to this sense of jealousy that didnt seem to exist before.

btw. I'm kida a "chick magnet"...j/s (joke)

 

Thanks for the anti troll support mate. you're correct. I'm no troll. Was a serious post from inception.

 

I only know what she's revealed. whether thats real or not. i'll discover soon. She seems sincere. if not she's going to a lot of effort as i can hardly get a moment to myself when she's awake. always texting . FB, cam, skype etc etc. right now I said good bye to her (4 30 am my time 8 30 pm hers) and she got upset. she tries to keep me awake till she falls asleep most nights. cant do that on the reg and keep $$ in my pocket haha.

 

if she's got sponsors/ chatters etc. hopefully that will reveal itself. all i can do is get eyes on her and hope to observe some truth

 

 

lice???

yikes! noted dang that sucks haha

ok. wont do that either. had no idea bout that. just planned on buying bottled. thats what they do.................

 

............ok. caught up. now lets go from here if anyone wants to know more. ask hehe

Sounds like a handful to me mate.

Lots of red flags.

I reckon you got a level 6 drama queen.

Expect insane jealousy, pouting like a child and tantrums when it does not get its own way.

You are in for a roller-coaster ride.

Meet her. Spend a week and realize i am right then find someone else while you have boots on the ground.

 

 

 

Bah Humbug

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Scottiev

Dude its the tropics if you cant handle bugs you're doomed ..  Cockroaches big enough to put a saddle on , lice ( especially with school age kids around) , lizards( don't look up at restaurants lol ), snakes , mosquitoes.. Hell yea its more fun in the Philippines !!!

 Seriously one of the biggest adjustments will be the humidity , but light quick dry shirts  , shorts , and slippers (flipflops) are good enough for most days. DONT forget a face towel ( hankerchief or even  a small towel) even the locals pack them around.. I would advise you to have at least one accessible in your carry on , you'll need it lol. 

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Monsoon

 

 

The plan goes  that she will meet me with fam, at airport in Manila

 

That is really a bad idea. Trust me. Man i can not stress enough to you, what some others here already have - spend some time on your own in the Philippines. 

 

 

 

I'll drive back (borrowed van no good drivers available) to the province.

 

Be prepared to pay for that 'borrowed van'. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I would be extremely shocked if someone who cooks with a wood fire and no running water knows someone who would lend their vehicle for a 7 or 8 hour round trip journey for free. 

 

I hope that all of your other travels will be alone with her. When you have family members coming along to leech off you it will get old fast and you will be looking for the next bus to anywhere but there. 

 

Without knowing anything about you or her it is hard to say anything about the likelihood that the relationship will work, but do keep in mind you are putting a lot of stock into someone you've never met. And I am seeing some red flags with the little info I do have. Don't get me wrong, I sincerely do hope it all works out for you though and she is the woman of your dreams and you live happily ever after. But if it doesn't, do not despair, there is no shortage of extremely good looking, single women around here. There are even a ton of good looking, decent and intelligent women here. So in all of your actions, don't act like there aren't.

 

The joke amongst my single friends, and myself when I was single, was 'lets try and see how long we can go without tripping over a new girlfriend.' That was never long... Sometimes 10 minutes.

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Monsoon

 

 

Her aunt flat out changed her perspective on the airport thing actually and did indeed plant the seed of my potential to meet other women. since then she's kind of awoken to this sense of jealousy that didnt seem to exist before. btw.

 

Red alert.

 

 

i can hardly get a moment to myself when she's awake. always texting . FB, cam, skype etc etc. right now I said good bye to her (4 30 am my time 8 30 pm hers) and she got upset. she tries to keep me awake till she falls asleep most nights.

 

Oh my.

 

DEFCON 1 

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Kim_

Don't forget to extend the Visa when needed.... hopefully there are immigration officies up in that area

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