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Surprise, Surprise. I'm a Daddy? Nope!


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yes i get used to it now.. but if i will be sad if the test is negative.. then its maybe time for me to find the right girl and make some babies ;)

 

Well, you did say you know a lot of virgins... 

 

Just make sure that the girl isn't jealous... :ROFLMAO:  :ROFLMAO:  :ROFLMAO:

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I'm sure you would have a gut feeling once you viewed those pictures, what did your gut say, did you see your self in the mirror. Next, I wouldn't send her one dime until you take a DNA test to prove

Mate, forget about all the money calculations and where he, she and you might live in the future. You are getting too far ahead of yourself. Just back off and don't make any decisions until you get th

Boy, I tell ya. All these guys and how they talk about not caring for a child if it isn't yours.    I have a baby boy in the Philippines whom I love with all my heart.  There is not a snowball's ch

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stgCarlo

some not a lot.. but them i know already between 3 and 4 years now.. :)

no not a virgin.. marry in front of kissing is not what i like ;)

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RogerDuMond

Lets stay on topic please.

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Contango

Easy...tell her to send you some hair from the child.  Get a DNA test done at a clinic.  Stop the sleepless nights!!

Usually a cell swab taken orally...hair is for TV shows.

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Hair can be used for a straight forward paternity test.  I know someone who did it.

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Cipro

I'm sure you would have a gut feeling once you viewed those pictures, what did your gut say, did you see your self in the mirror.

Next, I wouldn't send her one dime until you take a DNA test to prove you are in fact the father of the child. Don't be a sucker. 

 

That and congrats - lovely child. 

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stgCarlo

in the lab i ordered the test i will get oral cell swap in test kit but you can also send

- Blood Stain (Dry)

- Cigarette Butts (2-4 Butts)

- Earwax (Cotton swap / Q-Tip)

- Electric Razor Clippings (Paper envelope)
- Gum (Sugar free in plastic bag)
- Hair (With root attached 4-6 hairs)
- Nails (Finger / Toe)
- Sperm / Semen (on clean cotton swab)
- Toothbrush (Air-dry before sending)
- Toothpick
- Used Kleenex with nasal muscus

 

http://www.livingincebuforums.com/topic/73651-paternity-test-dna-test-for-personal-info-in-philippines/#entry857210

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stgCarlo

yesterday and today i talked / texted a lot with her about child, plan and so on

 

she works as helper there and has 2500p salary a month

the birth cost 48000p (cessarian cut) and her boss paid it and deducts now her salary 1000p a month to pay it back
what means she lives as stay in helper for 1500p a month budget

 

the son is with 17 months tall like a 2,5 years old filippino child and like to have a lot of milk.. she says he need around 80p milk a day what means 2400p a month.. nothing else paid yet and already not able to pay the milk..

 

she owns now many people / families there money who helped her last 17 months..
birth 48000 - 17000 paid back -> 31000p open to pay for birth
work mate there a helper too 4380p (it seems she often bought milk for him when she was not able to buy)
6 families give clothes, milk, diapper, .... around 9000p

credit is 44000p actual

 

comming to cebu
5000 fare (bus and flight)
4000 - 8000 deposit and advance room
2000 foam to sleep on
3000 rice cooker and fan / light / ....
3000 clothes boy and some toys like a small ball.. he loves to play ball.. no wonder he comes from the country being world cup winner ;)

start in cebu 17000 to 21000p (small room some things)

 

calculation or to think about what is really needed is not her strongest side... she is thinking more about ticket to come and take a room for 1500p what makes as sum 4500p what she need to start here in cebu..

 

talking about what she expect or hope is a huge range.. going from 1500p room in city.. having 4000p to live with son and starting a business then to earn some money in addition.. up to i wish to have a own house...

 

she is still very flexible where and how to live.. even with her family in toledo is ok for her.. to live with me in one apartment somewhere..

 

supprisingly for me we talk more about normal live and boy like did you suck your thumb being baby cause the boy loves to suck his thumb all day long..  as to talk about a place or money or how to do all

 

i looked today for bigger houses with garden in a subdivision with playground.. it makes maybe not really sense to rent two houses close to each others... having female visitors there people will talk a lot and this would not be good for boy.. and its maybe good to live in a big house together.. much easier to come closer to the boy as a house beside them.. cheaper too..
maybe worth a try...

 

its strange how life can change in a bit more than 2 days.. thinking more about to buy a kiddy pool as about going somewhere or having a date.. looking at houses away from city which did not interest me at all some days ago..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Bill H

Well interesting plans for sure, but as many have said, be cautious!  First step is to get the DNA test.  Usually you swab the babies mouth.  It does not take very long to get the results, so be patient.  Once you know for sure, you'll have a better idea of what to do, but realize you really don't know this girl.  She sounds nice, but you don't KNOW, so again be cautious!  If the baby is yours for sure get him citizenship in your country.....just be careful how you handle the mom.  My $0.02

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stgCarlo

bill test will be monday here and by the mother.. in two weeks we will know it..

 

but you can not tell the brain to stop thinking and maybe its good to think about all.. what do i wish.. just pay 3000 or 4000p a month and have nothing to do with him or up to live with him together... it takes some time to get used to all.. to think about what i wish and how i would like it..

i think its good to have an idea what i like till the test result comes.. till then i will not send money and till then i do not need to send.. she borrow today again from work mate for milk.. next two weeks she has money to feed and care..

 

i thought about her.. i do not like normally to let someone sleep in my apartment.. im afraid with the girl my laptop is gone next morning... her i trusted that time.. she slept 3 times in my apartment.. and it means i liked to spent time with her too..

 

its good to think a bit and using the time till test result is here and im curious how the boy is.. what he likes and so on

 

not really to know her yes.. im very careful what i tell her.. for example she asked how much i pay now for apartment.. 12k.. then she said.. why such much? why i do not rent a room in bording house.. for 3k a month i will get a nice room already... if im able to affort such much money every month.. what i earn being in phils... i told her over 30k what is not wrong.. but not really honest at the same time too..

she asked me if i wish that she is in cebu with him.. if im able to help with depts.. if im able to afford such much mones to help.. i told her such a big amount i do not have in my pocket... i need to try to organize money when we are standing at this bridge... i try to keep ball and expections down..

good she do not have internet and is not able to read here ;)

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miles-high

Well, I must say I am touched by your openness to the situation and willingness to support your son. You are clearly thinking of the possibility that he may be your son and planning ahead to support him. I think it is a very honorable thing you are doing…

 

On the other hand, there are so many single mothers here whose children have been abandoned by their fathers – considering the fact that their children have 50% fathers’ DNA, it’s such an irresponsible thing to do on their part… ;)

 

In any case, the child has blond hair, thus it is most conceivable that his father is a Westerner, not Pinoy (haha sorry ;)) and some resemblance to you…
You spent time with his mother…
You are waiting for the test results…

 

Contrary to some people have suggested, I would go head and support her and her son right away to the extend you feel comfortable…

 

If the test came back negative, you would have done a favor to them…
If positive, you would have already taken the first step to be his father… :)

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Headshot

Carlo, wait until you get the results before you make any decisions. While it is extremely likely that the boy is yours, you should know for sure before you make major decisions. Even if he isn't yours, it sounds like you may want to create a relationship here (nothing wrong with that), but you should know all of the facts before making any decision.

 

On debts, it sounds like she has firm debts with her employer and the helper she works with, but you said she was GIVEN stuff by some other families. I'm not sure how that constitutes a debt other than a debt of gratitude. A gift does not need to be repaid. I would put the outstanding debt (as of next month) at 35,000 pesos.

 

On the airfare, using promo rates on Cebu Pacific and giving her a 20 kilo baggage allowance (anything more than that she should leave behind, but live-in helpers seldom have that much stuff), the airfare from Clark direct to Cebu (with taxes and fees comes to 1,960 pesos. Even with the bus fare to Clark, that isn't going to push the transportation cost above 2100 pesos. There will be an additional terminal fee of (I believe) 200 pesos at Clark. That airfare is having the baby sitting on the mother's lap, which will happen anyway with a one-year-old. therefore, there is only one ticket.

 

On housing and support, the cheapest option would be to have them stay with you in your apartment, but you should probably sleep in separate rooms unless you are interested in making another baby. If they stay with you, you can eliminate most of the expenses you listed. Hopefully, she can cook and keep a house, which will also cut your expenses. If that doesn't work out, then send them to live with family in Toledo. Again, few additional expenses over the 4,000 to 6,000 support payments.

 

It sounds like your heart has taken over, and your brain is lagging behind, so you really need to take it slow and let your brain catch up. You need to have all of your senses fully-operational as you go through this process, or you could get burned very badly. I hope this all works out well for you. You sound like a good man.

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stgCarlo

Headshot i do not plan to make any decision now and i will not

 

up till now im even not able to be sure she has a child

up till now it is still possible she try to scam.. searching some pictures in internet.. calculated a birthdate fitting the time we meet...

 

the chances actual as i think are

10% scam

30% other father

60% im daddy

 

if its my child she deserves a fast decision after test result - she shall stay in luzon and i just send some money every month or i wish that she will come to cebu.

actual for me 95% cebu - 5% luzon

 

concerning living with her in my apartment actual 0% apartment - 100% not in my apartment

 

i had a gf in switzerland and she has two kids.. at beginning our relationship the girl was 6 months old the boy 2 years

after some time i moved to them in a 2 bed room apartment.. normally big enough for all.. but not possible for me

 

i worked that time often at home and need it quiet to concetrate then.. kids are usally not such quiet and sit in a corner all day long what caused a lot of tension there.. after some weeks there was no harmony at all... i was waiting for the next disturb.. the kids felt uncomfortable and waited the next time they will see an angry face.. and the mother tried to make it better for kids and me.. what means she felt all the time between us..

 

we moved then countryside in a bigger house... i had nice office to work not allowed for kids to go there... kids had a very big room to play in no need to take any toy away and they had a garden to play... mother had a room for her too to have some privacy.. that solved all problems even if sometimes a kid came after falling and cry.. then they needed a hug and office or not did not matter anymore for them.. and thats fine

 

im not able to work and live with kids in a small apartment.. no need to try again

 

if they are in cebu there are many things possible.. small boarding house for boy i do not like.. i know some single mothers here over years and know how they live and how often they have problems..

 

so what is left is searching place for her.. searching place for both close to each others.. try it together

looking for offers now means more to imagine to live with them in a house as to wish to do this...

 

i guess the way to do after test is get them to cebu.. she stay with boy 2 or 3 days cebu so im able to see her and boy doing something together... then she should go toledo to visit her family for 1 or 2 weeks.. they never saw yet the boy

 

and then maybe try to find a place while i keep my apartment here.. able to start slowly whatever i like to try then or or or.. do not matter yet really

 

concerning the money - if its my son then im at least responsible for 50% of cost of birth what means 24000p

in addition every curt would tell me to pay the last 17 months she cared alone the baby.. what means 5k during 17 months makes 85000p

being greedy 3k a months still makes 51000p

 

so or so she will be able to pay all and if you ask me after 17 months to care alone about all she deserves to have a cut now not thinking about depts anymore

 

i told her this year is to come closer all together and next year is the time to decide things how to do.. and when

Edited by stgCarlo
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Bill H

Good on you, but again be careful.  It is doubtful this woman would know what to do with such a large sum of money so the chances are great it will be wasted.  Just take it slow, don't be so eager to throw money around and see how things take their course.

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stgCarlo

bill no i know what will happen giving all at once..

filippinos = one day millionairs ;)

 

as soon she is with her family and tells them she has 50000p i will need to send her money to buy bus ticket to come cebu again...

 

this calculation is for me.. sending the money she can pay back if she wish and to buy ticket (plus some money if something will happen on her way)

the receipe i will keep and on money transfer will stay x months child support fitting the amount

Edited by stgCarlo
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