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Surprise, Surprise. I'm a Daddy? Nope!


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Bill H

 

 

Her boss or the stepfather as she says helped her being pregnant already.. he was with her in hospital.. he is standing as father at the moment in birth certificate.. he made and paid small party for the first birthday.. he organized and paid christening..

 

Are you saying some other guy's name is on the child's birth certificate?  If that is the case, run, run, run away!  It will be a nightmare for you.  There is no requirement here to list a father on the birth certificate, that is solely the mother's choice!  The more you talk, the worse this sounds.

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I'm sure you would have a gut feeling once you viewed those pictures, what did your gut say, did you see your self in the mirror. Next, I wouldn't send her one dime until you take a DNA test to prove

Mate, forget about all the money calculations and where he, she and you might live in the future. You are getting too far ahead of yourself. Just back off and don't make any decisions until you get th

Boy, I tell ya. All these guys and how they talk about not caring for a child if it isn't yours.    I have a baby boy in the Philippines whom I love with all my heart.  There is not a snowball's ch

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stgCarlo

Rover this would be a next step if needed

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stgCarlo

Bill i did not saw the birth certificate yet

She told me a nurse in hospital asked her about father and the "boss" told her if he is the one.. then he will borrow the money for cessarian cut..

 

Im not such a young boy anymore and run not such fast ;)

If its my son i will support my son... the question is more how to do.. running away is not the way my father teached me to solve a problem

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Salty Dog

Here is the skinny..........................IF you really want to see her reaction................Tell her:

 

1. You have changed your mind about her, you guys had a good time when you were together but you don't care to renew your interest in HER.

 

2. If the DNA shows you are the Father, you have decided to file for full custody of your son as you can provide and give him a better life if he is living with you.....so you have decided to take him back to your own country where you can provide better education and better life for him

 

3. Tell her don't worry, it will not be such a problem to file for Soul custody as you have the money to pay the fees and grease any palms needing greasing.

 

SEE HOW/IF THINGS CHANGE THEN...................

Rover, for a devout Christian you can be downright evil.

 

Was "SOUL" custody some freudian slip.

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stgCarlo

Maybe i write here the last text between us..

 

My last text yesterday afternoon

The way you are today and yesterday.. saying i do not need to know where you give money or today then you will stay there and i shall spend my money with girls here.. i have a problem with to imagine how to raise a child together

 

I only asked you to calculate so the money we have we are able to have a place for him..

It would be nice to tell me when you change your mind that all we talked about last days do not matter anymore and we need to start to talk again

 

this morning i got two text from her

sorry about yesterday

 

she talked with people there and they do not wish to have so much money anymore... 55k is all what is needed now to send

 

 

my answer this morning

Good morning

it was my fault to try to make you happy so baby is able to be happy too.. i should know it better already living here..

i will not do this again and do the way you need to do in phils..

 

Think about where you wish to live.. it seems you do not know it yet if there or with your family or close to me..

Tell me when you know it.. i support the child in any case.. so if you wish to live with the "stepfather" then just say it

 

Her answer some minutes later

we want to go home cebu and stay close to you..

 

and then some text to explain why she said this and that... and how the situation is... i think its better not to answer now and let her think about all..

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Headshot

Have her scan and email you copies of the birth certificate, baptismal certificate and an official detailed bill from the hospital. If ANY of these show any irregularities (such as somebody else's name on them as father), then you are in for a world of hurt IF the child is actually yours (on the DNA test). Truthfully, I'm hoping, for your sake, that the baby is NOT yours because with your stated values, you are going to be in for Hell on Earth.

 

I grow more suspicious by the day that either she is attempting to scam you while maintaining a relationship with another man (who has claimed the role of father to the boy) or this entire scenario is a troll. The story seems to be evolving, with "new" facts coming out all of the time. While I realize that can happen, it is a huge red flag that SOMETHING is wrong with the situation you have presented. If the story is NOT a troll, then it is good that you asked her what she would want to happen. By doing that, you have uncovered a lot of potentially BAD things (from her greed to a likely boyfriend or husband that she is living with), and you have probably changed her scam from a "long game" to a "short game" which is a lot easier to detect. You DEFINITIVELY need to hire Pointman, and have Larry (Shadow) and Ronnie (his wife) go up to wherever she is and check her out. You obviously have her address, since you sent her the DNA test. They can tell you what they find, and then you will know better how to handle the situation.

 

IF the DNA test is positive (you are probably thinking now that you should have used somebody else's DNA sample like she suggested she thought you might have done), then you will need to support the child. However, you are NOT required to just hand over money to the mother for her to do with as she wishes. You can pay for formula and diapers and clothes and whatever else a baby needs and then just send them to her each month. When it comes time for school, you can pay for tuition, fees and expenses (you can't believe how many expenses schools here can come up with during the course of a year) without ever sending her any money at all. If you did that, then they would need to live on Cebu (someplace) to make the logistics work, but you would KNOW the money is going to support the boy rather than going to support her BF/husband's shabu/gambling habit.

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stgCarlo

 

 

Have her scan and email you copies of the birth certificate, baptismal certificate and an official detailed bill from the hospital. If ANY of these show any irregularities (such as somebody else's name on them as father), then you are in for a world of hurt IF the child is actually yours (on the DNA test).

I wrote her to send me all of this

 

Where is the problem if someone is stated as father in birth certificate? You are not the first one writing me here this will be a real problem for me.. is it not just a name able to change?

Im mostly sure he is in birth certificate.. what problems should i expect?

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Rover, for a devout Christian you can be downright evil. Was "SOUL" custody some freudian slip.

 

1. Thank you.......You would be surprised when it comes to liars....what I can thank of and willing to do to get to the truth. :devil:

 

2. But now on the other hand.....TO BE HONEST....I wasn't thinking and I used the wrong word... :angel:

 

ADDED: (I TRUST NO ONE 100%) and I am very, very frank, good or bad, a lot of people can't handle this and that is where I have accepted being considered an A$$ Hole.

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stgCarlo

 

 

However, you are NOT required to just hand over money to the mother for her to do with as she wishes. You can pay for formula and diapers and clothes and whatever else a baby needs and then just send them to her each month.

I texted this to her that i will support mainly in milk diappers and what baby need now...

She do not need to think about money or budget anymore.. i will take care of all

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Coffeehound

I have to agree with the advise to hire Pointman. I have been blessed with my Filipino family, but have also seen so many manipulation of a foreigner... Even if you are the father going forward with both eyes wide open can save you a world of pain.

 

I previously advised not hesitating to help with milk money but no more, as that is taking the high road. I stand by this advise.

 

I would also consul against talking money matters too much with her. What is very difficult for many Westerners to internalize is we all look like Donald Trump to these girls. My wife grew up in a hut with no electric or running water. Getting her to see money matters on a realistic plain took some doing. I remember her asking me why I simply didn't buy a new car when mine needed some minor repair!

 

Caution my friend, as you can far to easily have your good intentions turned against you.

 

Regards

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I think I would be inclined to pay her boss back directly and get a receipt which shows the debt has been paid in full - providing of course that the test confirms that you are the father.

You do not yet even know if this is your kid? Right? Even if it is, you do not ow her boss. They did not tell you about the baby or the pregnancy! Get the test run, chances are they will bale before that happens. When there is too much shit, your in a sewer son.

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Salty Dog

What's with 20k for 18 months of milk. Since when does breastfeeding cost anything? OK so maybe she didn't breastfeed. That would be pretty unusual, especially for a poor Filipina.

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Bill H

I have no experience getting a father's name changed on a birth certificate, but getting anything changed on an official document here can and usually is a nightmare.  I would imagine you would need the man whose name is on the certificate's permission to do it, even with a DNA test.  You will need a lawyer and since you are a foreigner the fees will triple.  Then you will need lots and lots of time, because NOTHING happens quickly here unless it's a foreigner diddling an underage girl.  Other than that, the legal system is very slow, agonizingly slow when you really need something done.  And you will really need it done, because until your name is on the birth certificate you can't register him as your son in your home country and have no legal rights to him at all.  So, yes it's a HUGE problem if she put another man's name of this document.

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stgCarlo

Thanks Bill

ok time, nerves and money... how it is to be alone with the child for me as long someone is in birth certificate? can this cause problems for me being with a minor alone not belonging to my family officially?

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Coffeehound

Short answer - maybe. Even with DNA proof that you are the father, if another man's name is on that birth certificate you could well discover how unpleasant Philippine prison is. Is that justice? Answer - it's the sort of justice you may receive unless you bribed you way out of it.

 

DNA or not, I would not go within a mile of the kid while another man's name is on the birth certificate. If it need's to be corrected my position would be clear - you made this problem, you fix it. Until such time she would get nowhere with me.

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