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Age of consent - Be very very careful!


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Bob Ward

My brother, I can tell you stories that will curl your hair. I have 4 daughters. Been there, done that, got several T-shirts! In the US we are forcing kids to grow up too soon and they are loosing their grip because of the pressure.

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Everyone makes "mistakes". Lusting after and seducing a minor old enough to be your great grand daughter, IMHO, is not a mistake. I believe they call it "sex tourism".

i wouldn't have the energy to keep up with a 17 year old

Yes an interesting paradox. Even though you married her and had no intent to take advantage of her. In some parts of the world you really would be arrested while the true criminal user would just walk

mattwilkie
My brother, I can tell you stories that will curl your hair. I have 4 daughters. Been there, done that, got several T-shirts! In the US we are forcing kids to grow up too soon and they are loosing their grip because of the pressure.

 

Its like most things just spiral out of control. The media circus puts to much sex and violence onto TV and virtually everything is tied up with so called celebrities, whos doing who and getting scandals etc. The other areas are that things have become competative on all levels. Ive tried to steer my daughter Nicole away from these things but the teens will soon be here and i already get headaches from my sisters daughter who has dropped off the page.

Kids are learning too much of the wrong stuff in life and everything is becoming a now factor, with as little waiting as possible.

 

Getting back to the arguement regarding a girl in her teens i wouldnt do it anywhere in the world, i get enough headaches with things going on as they are without throwing into the mix a girl mixed up with hormones and tantrums. Yes some girls maybe mature at that age but generally they would have come from a very hard up bringing and her channel of thoughts are survival over anything else. If you want a 17+ mentally mature girl who can manage finances a home. Children, being away for months without needing to feel a deep inner love. Can you grab me a unicorn from the same place?

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For the 17 year old girl having a relationship with a man of 60 plus years is survival, plain and simple! For the guy on the other hand it is purely lust or an out of place ego! :wacko:

Sorry, just my own little wisdom! tongue.png

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Aerosick
For the 17 year old girl having a relationship with a man of 60 plus years is survival, plain and simple! For the guy on the other hand it is purely lust or an out of place ego! :wacko:

Sorry, just my own little wisdom! tongue.png

 

We needed your "own little wisdom" to get us (and the Topic) back on track with the real world.

 

Thanks!

 

Billy

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Lacion Girl
For the 17 year old girl having a relationship with a man of 60 plus years is survival, plain and simple! For the guy on the other hand it is purely lust or an out of place ego! :wacko:

Sorry, just my own little wisdom! tongue.png

 

Daisy, I have to agree with you, that for this 17 year old girl having a relationship with this man of 60 yrs plus is a matter of survival. I just hope and pray that this girl is not used by the family as a prostitute, which can be a sad incident. For this girl in our story, I'm very afraid she is being used by her parents - that is if they know about her relationship with the older man. Parents normal reaction would be to protect their daughter for situations like this.

 

For the older guy, if he is having an affair with this girl whether with or without the girl's parents knowledge, he is still in a big trouble. The girl is a minor, he is in trouble with the law and maybe with the family, they could blackmail him if and when they found out about the affair.

 

Just my thought.

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chimellie

On the positive side, it's a win-win situation where an older man with a young lady (over 18 ) . He's helping to put food on the table for her family and he's got a trophy wife. Both parties are happy and that's all it matters, I guess.

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For the 17 year old girl having a relationship with a man of 60 plus years is survival, plain and simple! For the guy on the other hand it is purely lust or an out of place ego! :wacko:

Sorry, just my own little wisdom! tongue.png

 

Daisy, I have to agree with you, that for this 17 year old girl having a relationship with this man of 60 yrs plus is a matter of survival. I just hope and pray that this girl is not used by the family as a prostitute, which can be a sad incident. For this girl in our story, I'm very afraid she is being used by her parents - that is if they know about her relationship with the older man. Parents normal reaction would be to protect their daughter for situations like this.

 

For the older guy, if he is having an affair with this girl whether with or without the girl's parents knowledge, he is still in a big trouble. The girl is a minor, he is in trouble with the law and maybe with the family, they could blackmail him if and when they found out about the affair.

 

Just my thought.

 

 

Seems to me the keyword is necessity . Unfortunately being poor causes some families to offer their children up as commodities . I recently saw something of this nature happen here in cdo at a local hangout . A filipino fathers asking price for his daughter to accompany an expat relocating to another philippine city was $5,000 i think . She was to be his housekeeper . :o It was truly a weird experience standing on a sidewalk with 2 adult men bartering over a young woman with a 3rd party having to interpert the dialogue . Fortunately this event turned out ok as i understand the expat returned to cdo and the girl is back with other family .

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Trophy wife, daughter or granddaughter.

 

When my wife first arrived in the states 14 years ago, she was 26 and I was 46 and I was often asked when she was out of ear shot, "is she your daughter" or told "you have a very pretty daughter" and I honestly think that the people who asked or commented were not being malicious, probably just curios and when I would reply that she was my wife, the people would often become very embarrassed. I am sure there were other comments made out of ear shot or thought that were not so nicely conceived, but the heck with those people.

 

I can only imagine what people might say to someone in their 60's with someone 40 years younger, probably is she your granddaughter? But is it works and both people are happy, so be it, just as long as the lady is above legal age and they both know what they have gotten themselves into and the problems they may face because of it. A mixed marriage can often be hard enough but when you put a large age difference into the mix, it may cause many more problems with friends and relatives as well as strangers. :wacko:

 

As I have often said, my lady is my trophy wife when we are in the states and I am her trophy husband when we are in the Philippines, neither of which I feel is true, and definitely not the later.

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chimellie
As I have often said, my lady is my trophy wife when we are in the states and I am her trophy husband when we are in the Philippines, neither of which I feel is true, and definitely not the later.

LOL.....Lee

My wife told me she wouldn't hire a young maid if we need one in the future, maybe an older lady or maybe a bayot . It's not fair...............

Anyway, more power to you older guys if you can have younger women. But be sure she's over 18.

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Chief Illiniwek
When my wife first arrived in the states 14 years ago, she was 26 and I was 46

 

Your FIRST wife?

 

Good Lord ... I'm 49 ... my Cebuana girlfriend is 23.

 

If we get married and it doesn't work out ... that will be it for me ... I'll probably be in a body bag somewhere.

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Bob Ward
When my wife first arrived in the states 14 years ago, she was 26 and I was 46

 

Your FIRST wife?

 

Good Lord ... I'm 49 ... my Cebuana girlfriend is 23.

 

If we get married and it doesn't work out ... that will be it for me ... I'll probably be in a body bag somewhere.

 

dyslexia?

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To each their own in that regard. But remember that you will be exasserbating the difficulty that inherently comes with a culturally mixed relationship. There are enough potential problems without adding to the mix the following issues.

 

A 19 yaer old filipina, on average, will approximately equal the maturity of the average 14-16 year old in the US or younger.

 

The pressure she will endure from her own people on a consistent basis.

 

The completly different sets of needs and wants between the two of you.

 

You will be completely responsible for everything that takes place as she will have little or no experience to deal with most matters pertaining to bills, leases, licensing and such.

 

I'm not going into the virgin thing, but it's a biggie!

 

What sounds like a dream in many regards, could end up a nightmare without due caution. There is so much more to the Philippines and it's culture that is never even discussed on this forum.

Hmmmmm I think you are talking me out of it. I find the younger girls very flighty and insincere because of their youth but it is nice dating these sweet young things and sometimes its a nice illusion. So many tell me that I'm a handsome man that I'm starting to doubt the mirror. My question is what is the correct mix and I have no answer for that? They have an expression for this situation older man much younger woman "lolita complex" as been said these women are still children in their development. Its sad but I think men get stupider as they get older and the Philippines is one place that can accelerate that decline.

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Bob Ward

Glad to see you thinking outside the box, so to speak.

 

In the US we teach independance and individualism. Here they keep the chldren in the nest much longer. Much of this is financially driven, but it is a big determining facor regardless of the catalyst.

 

Therefore, my suggestion is to find a person who has graduated from college (about the same as an average HS diploma in the US) and hopefully is gainfully employed. The type of job does not matter too much, just the initiative and experience that comes with it. There are boat loads of these women and many of them would consider a relationship with a foreigner with integrity. They are all over the internet for sure.

 

Believe it or not this still leaves you with the potential to be considering a fairly young person. The average college graduate's age is about 20 to 21. So given a year or two at a job, if they could find one, you would be looking at 22-23 years of age. In my experience, there is a considerable difference in the attitudes, confidence and maturity of this group of women versus a 19 year old with little formal education.

 

Regarding the guapo comments, get used to it and get over it. It's just part of life here. There are two major determining factors to this issue. One is that the Caucasian is looked upon with idolatry plus Filipinos admire lighter skinned people. The other reason is that they are buttering you up for the kill. You need to be able to gauge the sincerity.

 

Men come to the Philippines for a variety of reasons. But Filipinas are linked directly or indirectly to the first three items on anybody's list. The majority of men that I know here are ones who had bad experiences within their country and sought solace elsewhere. Why not here? Kind hearted beautiful young women to soothe the savage beast and heal the pains he has endured.

 

But please don't forget, these women are not a commodity just because there are so many of them. They are living breathing human beings with hearts and minds. They may not have as much as we do or maybe they are not as smart about the ways of the world, but they are good people for the most part once you get past the obvious scammers. Do your homework and keep the faith.

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'Bob Ward' date='Jun 14 2008, 02:04 AM' post='53768']

Glad to see you thinking outside the box, so to speak.

 

Boy Bob, is that one not a play on words that also hits the nail right on the head. :as-if::lol:

 

In the US we teach independance and individualism. Here they keep the the chldren in the nest much longer. Much of this is financially driven, but it is a big determining facor regardless of the catalyst.

 

Therefore, my suggestion is to find a person who has graduated from college (about the same as an average HS diploma in the US) and hopefully is gainfully employed. The type of job does not matter too much, just the initiative and experience that comes with it. There are boat loads of these women and many of them would consider a relationship with a foreigner with integrity. They are all over the internet for sure.

 

Extremely well said again Bob :as-if: and I think you may have hit the nail on the head again. :as-if: Many of the women that I have met who seem to be happy and have stayed in their marriage to their older husbands were in fact in the group you described, including my present wife. Independent, educated, strong willed but not overly strong willed, mature, self confident, a desire for a better life through their own initiative, a knowledge of self worth having earned their own money as well as knowing the value of money from having to earn it themselves, confidence in themselves as a person as well as in their own abilities having dealt with a larger number of people including foreigners rather than someone who was sheltered and lived just at home, in other words, IMHO more worldly.

 

Believe it or not this still leaves you with the potential to be considering a fairly young person. The average college graduate's age is about 20 to 21. So given a year or two at a job, if they could find one, you would be looking at 22-23 years of age. In my experience, there is a considerable difference in the attitudes, confidence and maturity of this group of women versus a 19 year old with little formal education.

 

Yup, there are so many great ladies available for those who chose carefully and think with the right head. ;)

 

Regarding the guapo comments, get used to it and get over it. It's just part of life here. There are two major determining factors to this issue. One is that the Caucasian is looked upon with idolatry plus Filipinos admire lighter skinned people. The other reason is that they are buttering you up for the kill. You need to be able to gauge the sincerity.

 

I also think we are considered Gwapo because we are different than what they see all the time. As Bob said, we have whiter skin and also bigger noses and just like we think they are exotic looking and a breath of fresh air to us, they must think that we are exotic looking to them and a change from what they look at all the time. Are we actually Gwapo in their eyes, I think to some but again as Bob said, others are just making us feel good and possibly have an ulterior motive, but it sure feels good and makes our heads swell either way. We should just look for those who are sincere and have nothing to gain when they say it.

 

Men come to the Philippines for a variety of reasons. But Filipinas are linked directly or indirectly to the first three items on anybody's list. The majority of men that I know here are ones who had bad experiences within their country and sought solace elsewhere. Why not here? Kind hearted beautiful young women to soothe the savage beast and heal the pains he has endured.

 

I think, bad experiences with their country and especially with the women in their country is what I have often seen as well, again IMHO.

 

But please don't forget, these women are not a commodity just because there are so many of them. They are living breathing human beings with hearts and minds. They may not have as much as we do or maybe they are not as smart about the ways of the world, but they are good people for the most part once you get past the obvious scammers. Do your homework and keep the faith.

 

Bob, thank you for pointing that out because so many men seem to be going to the Philippines for unsavory purposes and there are plenty of ladies in PI that are willing to play the game and fool around and those who go to see how many virgins they can add to their score card, are IMHO, the lowest form of pond scum that has ever walked the earth.

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Talisay Kid

hey guys,

I'll just tell ya my story. I'm so in love with my jovelyn and she loves me, I'm 45 and she is 20. Now, here's how it started...

 

I first met her when she was 16, her family owns the BBQ and videoke down at Talisay (you Talisay guys know this already) her family also owns the apartment compound where I lived. (next to Jona's Dress Shop). so, i was in country for only 1 day when I was there at the Talisay plaza eating and singing videoke, Jovelyn was working there at the time, so she sits next to me and holds my hand and said she really likes me. So I says whats your name and how old are you?

 

She says Jovelyn I'm 16...Whoa!! I said look we can be friends but that's all coz your too young! she said OK "I love YOU"

 

Thats one thing about Jovelyn she doesn't hide her feelings, ,But I dont want a 16 year old, that's not why I went to the Philippines. But every evening, I would sit out on my terrace and read a book and drink beer, and she would sit down there and talk with me (just talk OK). Coz her Ate was my landlady so Jovelyn was always around. when she turned 17 I gave her a birthday card, as a friend! And she went totally nuts, it was her first birthday card. (she still has that today).

 

after a few months, we got to know each other's lives real good. And one day I had a bike accident. I came home and was bleeding realing good and she is the only one who came over and took care of me. she cleaned my cuts and applied medicine, every day till they were healed. I was seeing other girls at the time, but she is the one to show true concern for me. she even ordered me not to ride my bike drunk any more! (good idea)

 

That's when our relationship changed to a new level. Coz I was looking for a wife. someone who loves me and will take care of me. And she is the one, it's as simple as that. And her family, I know them all, and they like me and are OK with this. I'm going to marry her in February, but not because of her age, but her character,

 

I'm so in love with her, I think about her day and night, she makes me happy.

 

My parents would never understand, but I'll think about that later.

 

OK that's my story, ....See you guys!!

 

Jace

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