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Age of consent - Be very very careful!


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poby
I spent a lot of time thinking I knew what was right, what was proper. Well, I knew what was right and proper for me. But for me to extend it out and make those decisions for everyone else. I was just loading them down with my limitations. I don't think messing with children is right, but once they turn 18 (or whatever the collective consensus is for allowing people their own decisions) then unless you are their daddy, tough. And if you are their daddy, even tougher.

 

Wholeheartedly agree ;)

 

This thread was never meant to be a morality debate as debating such is akin to talking about religion or politics; we all have our own personal ethics and no 2 people think identically about every moral issue. At the end of the day we cannot really take a walk in another's shoes and know every aspect of a situation or relationship. It is all too easy to sit in judgement and decide on the wrongness of another based on our own personal views and with limited knowledge of the exact dynamics at play. What I know is that I felt this person to be a good guy and as such I'm not in the least interested in playing god and deciding he his guilty of any moral misdemeanors when I am not him and can never know exactly the situation he is in. The bald facts never tell the whole story.

 

It is hard enough to wrestle with my own conscience in deciding right from wrong and I certainly don't believe in taking on that responsibility for anyone else. I am not omnipotent and I don't feel I have the moral right to judge others.

 

My personal opinion on the matter, I will keep to myself as it is not in the least relevent to what this thread should be about. I would dearly love to have an ethical debate however I doubt it is possible in this or any other forum without it devolving into a pointless flamewar. I merely posted as a warning to others to be careful.

 

Oh and he's not from england.

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Everyone makes "mistakes". Lusting after and seducing a minor old enough to be your great grand daughter, IMHO, is not a mistake. I believe they call it "sex tourism".

i wouldn't have the energy to keep up with a 17 year old

Yes an interesting paradox. Even though you married her and had no intent to take advantage of her. In some parts of the world you really would be arrested while the true criminal user would just walk

Alan S

I thank that the warning is required by many people here.

 

No, I am not saying that any of you are involved with someone under 18, but you can still be caught out by the law.

 

Suppose that one of your neighbours asked you to babysit, say, their 8 year old son while they did some shopping.

You cant, because as soon as you are in an enclosed place with them, you are breaking the law.

 

You may not have committed any offence in your eyes, but under Philippine law, you are a criminal.

You may not have had any physical contact with them whatsoever, but that doesnt matter.

It is still illegal.

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I thank that the warning is required by many people here.

 

No, I am not saying that any of you are involved with someone under 18, but you can still be caught out by the law.

 

Suppose that one of your neighbours asked you to babysit, say, their 8 year old son while they did some shopping.

You cant, because as soon as you are in an enclosed place with them, you are breaking the law.

 

You may not have committed any offence in your eyes, but under Philippine law, you are a criminal.

You may not have had any physical contact with them whatsoever, but that doesnt matter.

It is still illegal.

 

Ah, maybe that's how I can deal with those pesky neighbors who decide that renovation is a good idea at 5am on A Saturday morning. ;) The law applies equally to all nationalities.

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Alan S
Ah, maybe that's how I can deal with those pesky neighbors who decide that renovation is a good idea at 5am on A Saturday morning. ;) The law applies equally to all nationalities.

 

Errum, not quite.

 

It applies to all FOREIGNERS, not to Filipinos.

 

You really dont expect a level playing field do you? lol

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I thank that the warning is required by many people here.

 

No, I am not saying that any of you are involved with someone under 18, but you can still be caught out by the law.

 

Suppose that one of your neighbours asked you to babysit, say, their 8 year old son while they did some shopping.

You cant, because as soon as you are in an enclosed place with them, you are breaking the law.

 

You may not have committed any offence in your eyes, but under Philippine law, you are a criminal.

You may not have had any physical contact with them whatsoever, but that doesnt matter.

It is still illegal.

 

Sounds like non sense to me. If you are a. a woman or b. castrated, are you still a criminal? Just so the Filipionos reading this message know, foreigners are all not sex freaks and addicts. There are plenty of Filipinos raping their own daughters, why don't you focus on that when dreaming up your laws?

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tom_shor
I met a guy last night and over a few beers he mentioned his girlfriend is 17. He was surprised to hear that this a really bad idea especially considering he is over 18 (he is 63). He seems like a really nice guy but ignorance can be dangerous and It's easy for newcomers to this country to not realise matters relating to sex and age can be very different to back home. I thought it might be a good idea to remind people of the terrifying possible consequences of being with a girl under 18.

 

"The age of sexual consent in the Philippines is 12 for all, but contacts with minors (under 18) are an offence if the minor consents to the act for money, gain or any other remuneration or as the result of an influence of any adult person."

 

It's this last bit that makes it effectively illegal for anyone over 18 to have sex with one under 18.

 

According to Republic Act 7610, section 6, an "attempt to commit child prostitution" is deemed to have occured:

 

when any person who, not being a relative of a child, is found alone with the said child inside the room or cubicle of a house, an inn, hotel, motel, pension house, apartelle or other similar establishments, vessel, vehicle or any other hidden or secluded area

 

"child" is defined under the same act as being a person under the age of 18

 

So even simply being alone with a 17 year old in a hotel room is a serious breach of the law! Furthermore, the "child" doesn't have to complain, any close relative can lodge a complaint and land you in deeep hot water.

 

Whatever the rights or wrongs of the matter, disobeying the law has potential consequences. I don't judge anyone, it's enough for me to take care of my own ethics however I thought a timely reminder might help someone reading this to be careful and if in doubt, ask for I.D.

 

 

Where is he from that being with a 17 year old isn't a bad idea? How can he possibly be surprised.

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Human ignorance knows no bounds. I am curious as well about his country of origin, but regardless he apparently has been employed as a hermit to be uninformed as to the the change in laws over the last couple of decades. I don't know if Poby actually explored this with him or not,but he may have thought that it is legal here even if it isn't legal in home country. If you enjoy the benefits of citizenship in the USA, it doesn't matter if it happens to be legal here, they can still fry you when you go back to the States since it is illegal to have sex with an underage individual regardless of where you are geographically in the world. No sanctuary for the pedo's anywhere.

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Alan S

AFAIK, no-one hs said he is American.

The age of consent in many countries differ, and SOME people assume that it is the same as what they are familiar with in their home country.

(Even in the US it differs from State to State.)

 

Neither has anyone said that he was having sex with her.

He might or might not have been, but the origianl post doesnt say so, so it is dangerous to assume anything.

 

Even so, just by being with her in any enclosed place, he is breaking the law, and that is worth noting.

 

 

Bamboo,

If you search through newspaper etc archives a couple of years ago for the period when a US seviceman was accused of raping a woman, and there was all the anti US hysteria, you will find the details of two other cases.

One where an uncle had been regularly raping his niece, who was, from memory, 14.

The case was dismissed by the judge as "he was a nice guy and people didnt do that sort of thing".

The second where a father had been regularly having sex with his daughter, who was, from memory, even younger.

Although found guilty, he was released as "keeping him in prison might harm the family".

 

Of course, both these were Filipinos, and it is just us nasty foreigners that go over to abuse them.

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The age of consent varies a lot from country to country. When I was 21 I had sex with my girlfriend who had just turned 16 and that was completely legal. In fact had I been 97, it would still have been completely legal as 16 is the age of consent in Australia. What is ethical and what is legal are frequently quite different things and there have been times in my life I have broken the law without feeling any remorse whatsoever however no matter how silly a law might be, it is important to be aware of the consequences of disregarding same.

 

The role of laws in society and how they relate to individual ethics is something that always fascinates me and I enjoy discussing but things like that are generally too contentious on an open forum.

 

Personally, I wouldn't automatically exclude a relationship based purely on age difference and I can conceive the possibility of a 63yo and a 17yo having a perfectly sound and ethical sexual relationship however in most cases that probably wouldn't be the case. It all depends on the individuals concerned and the situation. There are some 40 year old women who I suggest are not mature enough to have an adult relationship. The law must however set some sort of limit to prevent child abuse from occuring and that limit by the nature of laws must not be arbitrary which is why we have figures like 18 or 16 or 21 (or even 14 I think in the northern territory of Australia). The one size fits all nature of laws frequently results in injustice; laws are intrinsically unethical however they are the glue that binds society together and to derive the great advantages of living in a communal society certain freedoms must reluctantly be given up. Until people reach a level of ethical maturity such that laws become unnecessary, we must accept the often onerous dictates of a system that treats all cases as if they were the same. In a good democracy, laws are always a compromise as they try to placate a diverse range of opnions on what is right and wrong. Compromise is always imperfect.

 

Btw, He's not from Australia either.

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broden

there's legality and there's reality .. and legal is far from meaning you are always safe

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smokey

well now we know he is not a pervert from england and he is not a pervert from australia so is it a great secret or is this some type of game of guess who the A hole is..?? if anyone here had a 17 year old daughter and some pervert tried to high jack her undies you would be screaming vigilantie... so lets not honor the pervert lets hope his ass gets caught....

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well now we know he is not a pervert from england and he is not a pervert from australia so is it a great secret or is this some type of game of guess who the A hole is..?? if anyone here had a 17 year old daughter and some pervert tried to high jack her undies you would be screaming vigilantie... so lets not honor the pervert lets hope his arse gets caught....

 

I'm certainly never going to divulge any information such that he can be indentified. The ol' lynch mob mentalilty seems as prevalent as ever. Flaming torches anyone?

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JohninCebu

The age of concent in the UK is 16 and you have to wait until 18 to be able to vote. The age of concent here is 12 if the other person is less than 18 I think I read.

 

I have met many 18 year old daughters of friends in the UK and they certainly display a more mature outlook on life than many much older men I have met.

 

It seems that many of the views posted here are coming from those living in, or used to live in another country. Perhaps we have strayed from the path of this thread that is talking about laws in the RP, not morals but I'll say my peice. The reason why so many young girls see no problem in going with older men is because that is what happens HERE in this society as well as Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, China etc. It is not unusual for an older filipino man to marry or have as a girlfriend/mistress a much younger woman. Two pinoy business men I have met boast about their 18 year olds and even offered me one.

 

If you introduce the foreign viewpoint into it, of course it looks wrong. It doesn't happen in the US, UK or Australia because that is their custom.

 

It's a great shame we cannot hear the pinoy viewpoint as I would be interested in it. In my opinion, if a young woman, let's say 18 and keep it legal, meets and admires an older man, be he 53 or 63, western or Filipino, it is possible they could have a loving relationship. It wont be easy but life never is.

 

Personally I don' think anyone that young should be in a relationship but many are in every country - the UK has one of the highest underage birthrates in the western world. I do not feel wise enough to pass judgement on someone I have not met and wish him well, unless he is an a'hole.

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The age of concent in the UK is 16 and you have to wait until 18 to be able to vote. The age of concent here is 12 if the other person is less than 18 I think I read.

 

I have met many 18 year old daughters of friends in the UK and they certainly display a more mature outlook on life than many much older men I have met.

 

It seems that many of the views posted here are coming from those living in, or used to live in another country. Perhaps we have strayed from the path of this thread that is talking about laws in the RP, not morals but I'll say my peice. The reason why so many young girls see no problem in going with older men is because that is what happens HERE in this society as well as Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, China etc. It is not unusual for an older filipino man to marry or have as a girlfriend/mistress a much younger woman. Two pinoy business men I have met boast about their 18 year olds and even offered me one.

 

If you introduce the foreign viewpoint into it, of course it looks wrong. It doesn't happen in the US, UK or Australia because that is their custom.

 

It's a great shame we cannot hear the pinoy viewpoint as I would be interested in it. In my opinion, if a young woman, let's say 18 and keep it legal, meets and admires an older man, be he 53 or 63, western or Filipino, it is possible they could have a loving relationship. It wont be easy but life never is.

 

Personally I don' think anyone that young should be in a relationship but many are in every country - the UK has one of the highest underage birthrates in the western world. I do not feel wise enough to pass judgement on someone I have not met and wish him well, unless he is an a'hole.

 

Well said John! At the risk of going further off topic I just want to add that I know a girl, friend of a friend who is 18 and I suspect a virgin, who asked me if I had any friends in Australia that might be interested in marrying a Philippina. I asked her what was she looking for in a man and she said that he should be over 45! The age difference that looks so shocking to western cultural values does appear to be less of an issue here. Of course one can theorise lots of reasons why but at the end of the day, the reasons don't matter. Many of the women here especially those from poorer backgrounds are actively seeking a much older man. The main problem I see with such matches is the likelyhood of the girl being widowed at a relatively young age but old enough that it be difficult for her to find another man.

 

The best marriage I know of is my sister and her husband and there is nearly 30 years between their ages. I don't personally know of any other happy marriages. Even my parents I think are only together because they're too old to be apart.

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I don't think age difference means much as a rule. That being said, a 17 year old is still growing and still learning. I personally would not a woman that has no experience in life. I corresponded with a person in her mid thirties for quite some time and her immaturity drove me crazy. So it really is based on the individual. For a 63 year old to be interested in a 17 year old visually and chemically is no surprise. My question regarding all this is at what age did he start to be with this girl? Is this recent? It was stated that she is only two months from 18 and I don't see it as a huge problem except would like to know if he started this when she was younger. Not knowing the individual involved it is really hard to jump on the vigilante bandwagon. I do think that there are an awful lot of pervs out there that come to the philippines and thailand, etc., thinking that it is much easier to carry on with a lifestyle that is not only frowned upon but is illegal in most western countries. Anyway, another interesting topic which is why we all keep coming back to the forum.

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