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bushwacker

Traps and double speak on the Dating Sites

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bushwacker

I have found in the past that a good way to find out about a place is to visit and spend some time on a dating site.  Good way to meet ladies, get information and get a general feel for the area.  As I am single, one never knows what could happen.  Could make a few friends.  Might have a tour guide.  Might even get a .....

 

So, I signed up for one of the biggest sites in PI and now have some observations that maybe you more experienced dudes might care to comment on or share your wisdom.  Here is what I have observed after a few days:

 

1.  Many pics of very young 20-30 beautiful woman are interested in men in their 60, 70 and beyond.  I wonder if some of these girls know what an average 70 year old man looks like, acts like and does!  But they are there on the site sending me winks, interest and some even notes.  Some do not have children but most do.  What is this about?

 

2.  Most woman describe themself as simple.  In my country that is another word for boarder line stupid or a person with not too much brain capacity.  What does it mean here?

 

3.  They are all looking for a real man.  Seems like Asia has a problem with counterfit men.  I would have thought an unreal man was a ladyboy.  If they can touch the dude ... is he real ... what do they want?

 

4.  Along with the real man they want real Love.  Now this can be a real bitch! the world spins on the different types, shades and depths of love.  It has kept poets, story tellers and the movie and song industry thriving for years.  How can a person tell if it is real love unless you wait 50 years of togetherness and then die in each others arms.  Sounds like long on dreaming and short on practical thinking.

 

5.  All woman want a man that does not play games.  Yet they are busy playing with you as you read the profile.  Life is a game, the dating site is a game, searching until you find a compatible person is a game.  Maybe they can substitue another work for game but like a rose ... it is still a game.    I have to laugh when i read some profiles and see that the lovely lady describes herself as attractive and slim and then goes on to say she is 4 foot 7 inches and 145 pounds.  Sounds like an attractive bowling ball.  Then there are the profiles that say no kids but they show a pic of themself with 2 or 3 kids and the profile says 0 children, oldest 18 and youngest 4.  No games, so what could this mean.

 

6.  I am looking for somebody to be able to talk too (as well as other things .... wink wink), so often I have tried to chat with a lady that describes herself as a good conversationalist.  I start by sending a short but friendly sentence or 3 and ask them where they are.  They usually answer me with a very short .... "here".  Hmmmmm ....

 

7.  What is up with the pics.  Yes, being a guy, I am attracted to girl looking women and the little head often says "click on that one"  ....  I have to laugh when the first pic is really nice, the second is ok, and the other 2 or 3 are butt ugly.  And the woman seems to have aged 12 years between pic 1 and pic 4.  Maybe they think the guy wants to see a pics of them when they were having the best year of their life.  Or maybe they are trying to explain what they use to look like. 

 

8.  I am surprised at how many ladies have a BA or university degree.  It is an easy start to the conversation .... what is your degree in.  Usually the answer is "oh I not have a degree, I had to stop for financial problems"  Hmmmm ... where is this going!

 

9.  I do like the many pics that show the basic physical difference between PI ladies and Thai ladies.  It seems the "Fried Egg Syndrome" is confined to Thailand.  This is great news for me as I do enjoy melons.

 

10.  The particular website lists about 30 jobs so a person can click on the type of work that they do.  Of course, one catch all would be Other.  I am amazed at how many ladies work at Other.  Like maybe 65% of them have an Other job.  What could it be as so many were listed before other.  Then the profiles that say single with kids, no job, stay at home.  How can this work, how can they eat?

 

11.  Older ladies tend not to be beautiful ... they must have great personalities. 

 

Or guys, enough of my  babble.  What do you see, think and know about PI, woman and dating.

 

 

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Jess Bartone

Working through all your points is too hard, however I can comment on "simple". In the Philippines it means - to use another euphemism - low maintenance.

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sperry

point 1.

 

the last time I checked average life expectancy in the phils was 68, so I doubt if they do know what a 70 year old looks like.

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Paddy

Bushwacker, you're looking for something called "Filipinas Decoded" - which probably doesn't exist :)

 

I believe the age difference topic is discouraged on this forum because of the inflammatory nature of the ensuing debate.

 

However, bearing in mind my very limited experience, on language use:

 

    Simple - uncomplicated

    Real - often used in two contexts the first being physical presence and the second being "simple"

    Playing games - please be "simple"

    Yes I speak English - well no, not really. There was English class at school, taught by a non-English as a first language teacher, but I didn't really pay attention

 

On pictures:

 

    Often, they only have a few pictures taken years apart or, they like a particular actress so much they will use a pic of the actress instead. Quite often they will use the actress's name too.

 

On Education:

 

    This varies as much as in any other country. Higher education is often beyond the finances of many. You are Canadian, you know you require a degree to clean the washrooms here. Be "simple" and accept the person for who they (really) are.

 

On physical characteristics:

 

    I am biased. I think Filipinas are some of the most attractive women on the planet, but they come in all shapes and sizes. Life can be hard so often a person's age will show on their face. However, and again, be simple and accept them for who they are.

Edited by Paddy
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ex231

I think that by the questions you asked and the skepticism you seem to show that you already know the correct answers to your questions and pretty much have things figured out and that's a good thing.

 

Imo some dating sites are better than others and one in particular is cheap (free) entertainment but pretty much a waste of time. I've had decent luck with a couple of the pay sites. Those sites seem to weed out some of the flagrant flakes. I have a neighbor that married a girl he met on a site and he seems very happy. I have another neighbor that met his gf online and I see wedding bells for him also. I'm sure there are a number of girls you can just have "fun" with and move on but that's not what I was looking for so I can't tell you too much about that. Best advice I can offer is have fun and don't send any of them money. As soon as they say "I have a problem" RUN!!! lol

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Contango

1.  Many pics of very young 20-30 beautiful woman are interested in men in their 60, 70 and beyond.  I wonder if some of these girls know what an average 70 year old man looks like, acts like and does!  But they are there on the site sending me winks, interest and some even notes.  Some do not have children but most do.  What is this about?

To many points to go thru em all, the above however often means scammer, perhaps 50% of the online "girls" that would say 60 > 70 is ok are full of shit...this was always a big red flag for me to look else where and not to waste my time.

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Dragonladies.org

Yeah, too young and too eager, too often fake, or after money, or after immigration.

 

Most of the paid sites aren't much better than the free sites.   Scammers sign up with stolen credit cards.   The big paid sites that advertise heavily, also spend a lot of time covering up the fraud that goes on their sites.

 

 

Here are the four 'featured women' at this moment  (changes every time you reload the page) at a very crappy, paid site, Cherryfun.com

 

post-4936-0-77901800-1394367911_thumb.jpg

 

'Mahal' is using a picture of the filipina actress, Erich Gonzales

 

'Yna' is using a picture of model Jessica Gomes

 

The two blondes I won't bother to look up, the pics are stolen.

 

80-90% of the ladies on that site are fake, or scammers.

 

Don't forget, dating sites will also set up fake profiles to make the site look busier.

 

 

I frequently pretend to be a man 65-70, feeble, widowed, on some of the big dating sites.

If you think you are a stud because 'hot' young pinay pounce on you on these sites, just remember they are messaging grandpa, also.

What they usually say is 'No bb, you not too old. I like mature. Age is just a number.'

 

There are some nice, real ladies on dating sites, but you have to plow through the bad ones to get to them, and some of the real people  are almost more problems than the fake ones.

 

:)

 

 

 

 

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Sven

I have met a number of Filipinas off a dating site during the last few weeks. Mostly they have been nice.

 

My experience is that first of all, it is hard to work out in advance, from pictures alone, what they look like. Women will naturally tend to post their most attractive pictures. This is understandable but can become hilarious some times.

 

Whatever numbers are given for height and weight can often be discarded. I have come to understand that many women simply do not have access to scales, so may not know themselves their weight.

 

Many women have had to abort their education due to financial problems. This is just the way things are in the Philippines. Education is expensive and the money runs out sometimes. (It may be that women in that situation are perhaps overrepresented on dating sites, since they would likely face a poor future without either a good education or a good husband.)

 

Many Filipinas do not care much about the age of a potential mate. In my experience, that is a genuine sentiment in this part of the world, and not an indication of bad intentions.

 

Pictures with children do not need to mean much. Those may be nieces, nephews, younger siblings, etc. Many Filipino families have lots of kids running around, and it is only normal that they appear in pictures. If confused, I would just ask who is who.

 

I am based in Cebu and make it clear for everyone I contact, that I intend to meet them soon. I guess this helps weed out most of the scammers etc.

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Enuff

one guy asked a girl if she had any children and she said no, when they met for date she brought 6 month old her son...................... she said "you ask if I have children, I only have child"

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Steve and Myrlita

one guy asked a girl if she had any children and she said no, when they met for date she brought 6 month old her son...................... she said "you ask if I have children, I only have child"

hehehe, Only in Da Filippines!

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Dragonladies.org

Remember the funny scene from one of the pink panther movies?

 

'Does your dog bite?'

 

:)

 

Chomp!

 

(That's not my dog)

 

 

 

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lamoe

I've found that it depends on the site as to intentions of most of the female participants.

 

One had better looking women but many more scammers while the other had mostly those who were seriously looking for someone one / anyone.

I'm talking about those I have had video chats with.

 

The one thing I've not done was not lie about getting married again. Didn't lose too many by that initial admission. 

 

They too get scammed by the men who prey on their needs. 

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Monsoon

If you are talking about Date In Asia, the majority of the girls on there are amateur prostitutes. While they will gladly let you take them out to dinner and make it feel like a real 'date ' they will equally be happy meeting you at your room and having boom boom in exchange for 'taxi fare'. (1000 peso taxi fare). And as already mentioned the balance of those girls tend to have other ulterior motives in their search for a western man. 

 

The prostitutes are typically the ones that are seeking a man "Between 18 and 80". 

 

Filipino culture hasn't really embraced the whole computer dating thing like the west has. 

Edited by Monsoon

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bushwacker

I thank all for taking the time to comment on my thread.  It has been informative.  After reading, I am thinking that maybe my money has been wasted on a 3 month subscription, possibly better to have gone 1 month or nothing at all.  Still, as some have suggested it is like fishing or scavanger hunting.  Although I do neither, maybe this will be a fun experience.

 

Another thing that I have noted is many women say they are unemployed and no income.  How can they live and even support a kid or more.  And then there are the women that work in seeming good sounding jobs but earn less that 100,000 p a year.  That is less than $2,500.  Is this possible, or just another mistake or misunderstanding on the profiles?  If it is a mistake, it is a pretty common one.

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Monsoon

 

 

How can they live and even support a kid or more.

 

Refer to post #18 for the answer to that question.

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