"Bring Your Own" - Etiquette

[Jess Bartone 1,820]

.....in the polite society I prefer to be a part of, we do not attend a gathering with food and drink that we do not intend to share.  That is regardless of what the host says UNLESS it is a gathering of strangers or newly acquainted folks.

 

In "the polite society" people contact each other prior to the event about what they will bring so there's no doubling up, the sole intention being to share, so everyone gets to try a bit of this and a bit of that, and it's also a great talking point... "I have to have your recipe, this is delicious" etc. If a friend is down on their luck it is taken in stride.

 

However, strangers and new acquaintances seeking a free feed will not be tolerated by me at the very least. People treat me with dignity and respect I'll give them the world on a plate if I can, presume to take advantage of me and they'll get the bum's rush.

[Lee 17,711]

Hopefully lesson learned for the next time. There are some really nice people here and then unfortunately there are some trash, sometimes you have to meet some of the trash until you find the good ones that you can then hopefully value as your friends. 

[A_Simple_Man 6,202]

in the polite society I prefer to be a part of 

 

 

In "the polite society" people contact each other

You seem to have missed the most important phrase in the sentence so I shall highlight it for you.

Edited March 2, 2014 by A_Simple_Man

[POTATOMAN 474]

I'M surprised you brought so much, sounds like a banquet, when's your next trip? Many young white guys are freeloaders too

[Fred M 781]

I have never been to a "bring your own" function. If I invite people over I provide all and they do likewise.

[Jess Bartone 1,820]

You seem to have missed the most important phrase in the sentence so I shall highlight it for you.

 

I didn't miss a thing... need I spell out every word? I keep my society polite, avoid the maggots, and never suffer fools once they cease to make me laugh.

 

 

I have never been to a "bring your own" function. If I invite people over I provide all and they do likewise.

 

You've never been on a public BYO function?

 

But even at a private party it is traditional where I come from for the host to supply meat (for the barbecue) and salad, but the guests bring their own grog, and most people bring extra food anyway as a goodwill gesture... except for significant parties like milestone birthdays or weddings etc, I'm talking about parties which are more like a social gathering of friends. But I am a working class shitkicker.

[mikejwoodnz 515]

 

 

Some of my questions are...  Is this normal is foreignerland or the Philippines to not bring lechon to a party but eat the lechon of someone else ? yes Should I next time use this opportunity to clear out my refrigerator and freezer of food I would of thrown out anyway and put it on the table, then eat everyone else food ?   yes    Should I just do the same at the next  gathering I am invited to,  then the next day post a thread on the Living in Cebu forums and ask about "Bring Your Own" etiquette ?   yes  

 

 

 yes as above 

[mikejwoodnz 515]

 

 

Can you tell which Pinoy will be the good one and which one will shaft you just by looking at them? HA! thought not.

 

yes both of them

[Alan S 4,607]

Many years ago, a crowd I went round with used to take turns in hosting parties.

The general rule was "bring a bottle", and the host provided snacks etc.

 

I soon found that some guys would bring a small bottle of beer (or nothing at all), then proceed to drink all the scotch/brandy/gin etc that everyone else had bought, thus causing arguments etc.

These were also the guys who managed to avoid hosting anything.

 

I changed the rules.

When I hosted a party, I provided everything, but then limited the guest list to those that I knew would reciprocate, and refused to ask the "hangers-on".

Smaller paries but more fun and less aggro..

[roaddog 219]

The wife just suggested I delete my reply to this thread. Like Paul has said once or twice read before you post.

[Jim Sibbick 1,037]

I have been to several byo parties but there was usually a bit discussion before hand with at least one or 2 about what we were bringing..

 

I never bought a whole lechon before. I just buy mine by the kilo from the Colonnade supermarket before I go.

[Headshot 29,350]

Don,  you seem to have some inner conflicts that you need to work on.

 

First of all, you need to understand the difference between BYO and potluck. With BYO, you bring your own and eat your own. With potluck, you bring a lot of something to share with everyone, and then share in what they brought as well. This was classified as BYO, so if sharing bothered you, then you should have just said "NO" when asked if others could share in your food. If you can give freely without caring how much others spent or how much they eat, then share. If you can't, then don't agree to share. That way others will know how you feel in the first place, and they will leave your food alone.

 

IF you bring enough food for an army (even though you only have a few people with you), AND you agree that everyone else can share what you brought, THEN you should expect everyone else to eat it. The host was wrong to ask you to share if it was a true BYO. They were also wrong to tell you it was a BYO affair if it was actually a potluck affair. If I go to a BYO, then I expect to eat what I brought. If I go to a potluck, then I expect to share what I brought. However, even though the host was wrong to ask...YOU agreed to let everyone else share in your bounty without a prior request for compensation, so you have absolutely no grounds for complaining after the fact.

 

How much you spent means nothing. The only thing that matters is that you agreed to share. As soon as you did, the BYO became a potluck. I have participated in many potlucks where I spent more on my contribution than others, but it is all worthwhile if others enjoy it. The fact that you ARE complaining (even though you agreed to share) is a bit classless in my book. I think you should avoid all those that take advantage of what you freely offer. They are obviously not worthy to be around you.

[Fred M 781]

I have been to some BYO restaurants in Australia. These are unlicensed so you have to take your own grog!

When we lived in WA we regularly had and were invited to barbecues etc. and certainly never took our own food.

Edited March 2, 2014 by Fred M

[CardiacKid 2,309]

Classless folks are not limited to the Philippines. When I was stationed in Texas, we had many Fil-Am get togethers. Some brought food, some did not. After awhile the invited guests list shrank to those who did indeed bring something. Also, when I was new here, another Kano who moved in next door was moaning about the fact he could not afford his cholesterol medication. I gave him a 30 day supply. Sure as Hell, he showed up the next month wanting to know when I was going to the pharmacy to buy his next 30 day supply. Lesson learned. 

[Jess Bartone 1,820]

The fact that you ARE complaining (even though you agreed to share) is a bit classless in my book. I think you should avoid all those that take advantage of what you freely offer. They are obviously not worthy to be around you.

 

He was asked if people contributed would he mind sharing, so your comments are really out of line. "Classless"? I think you owe Don an apology.

 

The host who planned the event asked me if it would be ok to let people chip in and give me money to help offset the cost of what I spent, so everyone could also eat the lechon. I said it was ok, so he made an announcement before we all started to eat that if anyone wanted to chip in for the lechon it would be ok,

 

 

 

 

When we lived in WA we regularly had and were invited to barbecues etc. and certainly never took our own food.

 

We are from opposite sides of the country, so maybe it's a cultural thing, but where I come from people often bring extras out of respect for efforts made and money spent.

 

 

 

yes both of them

 

You might have something there.