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"Bring Your Own" - Etiquette


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Jess Bartone

.....I moved to Cebu where I found the real world's tightest people consisting of white people living amongst Filipinos.....

 

The type that brag to everyone they can live well on $500 a month.

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You're just fishing for an argument. I don't know where you're from but where I come from there is unspoken etiquette and bringing shit food to a shared outing then proceeding to eat other people's go

Douglas, be very picky about who you "hang out with".  If any of those involved in the outing are members are members of this forum, they should be ashamed of themselves.   For others concerned, ju

A few crates of Red Horse would have been appreciated, ya cheapskate!

ThomsonJr

I would tell them not to eat my lechon or foods if they didnt throw some money at me if I couldnt live with the fact of me paying for it and they eating it all... instead of coming to this forum whining about it after I let them eat it all. Just saying.. man up a bit, or live with it. 

I would personally never buy a whole lechon for such a trip, but if I did, and I would see all the others eating it all, then I would just openly tell them to feck off and eat their own foods, then serve my people first, and tell them to come and try some when theres only leftovers. Sometimes you need to be an asshole, or else people will just keep stepping on you, or they will think you dont care. In this "Bring Your Own"  case, that would be perfectly normal to me.

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Monsoon

The type that brag to everyone they can live well on $500 a month.

 

I have no time for the ones who will say, "No you don't pay 20 pesos for <whatever> over there, you go here and pay 18 pesos your paying too much!" 

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Skywalker

You've simply made the discovery that a lot of the foreigners here are tighter than Superman's underpants.

 

Cheap cheap cheap.  That's pretty much why I avoid old married foreigners here.  They are broke spiritually, mentally and financially.  They don't have manners, because they were never taught them.

 

It's either live here, on a tiny pension, or the trailer park back home.

 

Avoid the trash.

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Another one of those live and learn moments. I'm sure you'll know now what to do the next time you're presented with a similiar offer. In my time time here I have met very few generous expats and some that are confirmed leaches. This is to be expected however as the nature of the expat in this country is generally of a lessor calibre, surviving on a meager pension or dwindling savings, therefore not only used to, but looking for handouts as if this is not only normal but a god given right,  the exception to that being the members of this fine forum.

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Oh please understand that I'm not complaining either...am just commenting out of curiousity.....

1. You bought that much food for the party of 6 you were bringing??? Do you always overdo things or is this way of you showing off?

2.  If you have it and don't want to share it (you said at the top end that the food would be shared) then don't bring it....

3. As to what is or is not normal....of course when you offer something they don't have they are going to take it.  Is it "normal" for you to keep track of it???  Did you weight their plates ????

1. When island hopping, ( or any other occasion ) it is common to bring lechon and all the fixings. There was only 4 adults ( including me ) and 2 children in my group. For Filipino's ( rich or poor ) memories go back to childhood of lechon on the table at most everyone organized event. Sure I could of just bought a kilo or two for my group, but a whole lechon is common. Like I said what ever is left over is never wasted and will be eaten. So I did'nt think it was over doing it. It was'nt showing off. It is normal. 

 

2. I thought "Bring Your Own" means "Bring Your Own" Food for yourself and who else is with you. Not "Bring Your Own" for everyone else. Unless it is said before that we are going to do all bring food to share, so in that case I would for sure bring enough for 20 people. The host who organized the event ask if I would mind if everyone else chipped in for the lechon. I said it was fine and it was up to them how much they wanted to contribute. If someone asked me to chip in for a buffet I would for sure chip in. 

 

3. I did'nt write down anything if that is what you meant by "keeping track", it was just and observation. But maybe bringing a scale and letting everyone pay for they want based on kilo could be an idea for next time. But honestly I would'nt bother with that, I was'nt looking to make money from it and for all the headaches it is not worth the effort. 

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spydoo
Skywalker, on 02 Mar 2014 - 4:05 PM, said:

You've simply made the discovery that a lot of the foreigners here are tighter than Superman's underpants.

 

Cheap cheap cheap.  That's pretty much why I avoid old married foreigners here.  They are broke spiritually, mentally and financially.  They don't have manners, because they were never taught them.

 

It's either live here, on a tiny pension, or the trailer park back home.

 

Avoid the trash.

 

You think people who live on pensions are trash? And you think who's broke spiritually?

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Davaoeno

I find myself falling into a trap on occasion.  Right now we are  planning a trip to Palawan with another couple. We sort of narrowed it down to 2 or 3 places to stay . The difference in price between the marginal out of town place and the great new right in town place for 5 days is about 5500 peso . 

My first thought being - wow! thats 5500 pesos extra.

My second thought being - wow! thats only about an extra $125 to stay in a really nice place.

 

Its easy when you think in terms of thousands of pesos to put yourself into pinoy mode- and pinoy prices.   

 

I hate moochers myself also , but bottom line in this case is that D_D only spent about $115 total - for stuff that he decided on [ even tho he knew it was way too much ]   , he brought along 7 people, and he got bragging rights here by telling us all the stuff he bought  and how much he spent !! 

 

And it is certainly not normal to bring a whole lechon unless you and your family or group chartered the boat and are supplying  the food.

Edited by Davaoeno
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Jess Bartone

This reminds me of a LinC "bring your own food and drinks" event I attended years ago at Hound drivers house. For some reason it was "Mexican" food themed, I guess because over 5 years ago,( and still is ) very hard to find good Mexican food in Cebu. 

 

I bought a full pan of Chili Con Carne,( I am not sure if it is Mexican but it was the best thing I could come up with at the time). A bottle of Jack and a case of San Miguel lights. As the night went on, I noticed not much of the food was eaten, but the bottle of Jack was empty and the crate of beer was half gone

 

This is when things started to get out of hand, words where said between other members on who's beer and alcohol was whos. Bottles were broken, punches where thrown. I just sat back, watched and laughed. ( it is always funny when old retired guys fight ). If I remember correctly Paul the founder took off in a taxi to beat up some old 67 year old guy and came back bloody.

 

Sometimes when invited to a gathering, you really don't choose your companions. But thanks for the advice. I have a new found respect for you and I am sorry I trolled you years ago. You are still one of my favorite members here and I enjoy reading your posts and comments. 

 

 

 

 

Great story, cracked me up. These days I avoid people who can't handle their grog, especially old men strutting around like 18 y-o cocks who never seem to understand what cock heads they are.

 

 

I would tell them not to eat my lechon or foods if they didnt throw some money at me if I couldnt live with the fact of me paying for it and they eating it all... instead of coming to this forum whining about it after I let them eat it all. Just saying.. man up a bit, or live with it. 

 

D_D is a Pinoy trying to negotiate the minefield of screwed up and "normal" putis.

 

Can you tell which Pinoy will be the good one and which one will shaft you just by looking at them? HA! thought not.

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Skywalker

 

 

You think people who live on pensions are trash?

 

Of course not!

 

Stop baiting me, you'll win, I am broken spiritually!   :cool:

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Jess Bartone

P.S. Thanks D_D for the kind words.

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RogerDuMond

 

 

Should I just do the same at the next gathering I am invited to,

 

All you can do is be yourself and don't change because some people have no class.

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Skywalker

Reminds me of a certain guy who claims to be making loads of money, but then asked a condo seller if he could do lay-away.

 

Ho Ho Ho.  Gotta love the dreamers.

 

I keep having to remind myself that this is the land of personal reinvention!

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A_Simple_Man

This reminds me of a LinC "bring your own food and drinks" event I attended years ago at Hound drivers house. For some reason it was "Mexican" food themed, I guess because over 5 years ago,( and still is ) very hard to find good Mexican food in Cebu. 

 

I bought a full pan of Chili Con Carne,( I am not sure if it is Mexican but it was the best thing I could come up with at the time). A bottle of Jack and a case of San Miguel lights. As the night went on, I noticed not much of the food was eaten, but the bottle of Jack was empty and the crate of beer was half gone

 

This is when things started to get out of hand, words where said between other members on who's beer and alcohol was whos. Bottles were broken, punches where thrown. I just sat back, watched and laughed. ( it is always funny when old retired guys fight ). If I remember correctly Paul the founder took off in a taxi to beat up some old 67 year old guy and came back bloody.

 

Sometimes when invited to a gathering, you really don't choose your companions. But thanks for the advice. I have a new found respect for you and I am sorry I trolled you years ago. You are still one of my favorite members here and I enjoy reading your posts and comments. 

 

 

 

You have a good memory.  If my memory is correct then the host had already 'kickstarted' the party with a stupidly large amount of pesos worth of odds and ends (was that one of the parties where we rented a Videoke?) and the first fight was over some foreigner who brought a 40 peso bottle of Tanduay and was insulted when someone asked him to chip in some cash for the food.  Unfortunately the host had not mentioned to the self appointed money collector that the cheapskate was his personal guest.  Ah well.  Alcohol does go to the brain and do wonderful things.

 

As to the opening question.  I would find it poor etiquette to bring a banquet to a group of brown baggers and not expect to share with them.  I would appreciate any donations to the cause but not expect it.  When I am feeling a budget pinch I am also one of the brown baggers, but I would not impose on the folks bringing the feast unless they offered it freely.  At all times I tell my partner that, in the polite society I prefer to be a part of, we do not attend a gathering with food and drink that we do not intend to share.  That is regardless of what the host says UNLESS it is a gathering of strangers or newly acquainted folks.  Such is my opinion and actions.

Edited by A_Simple_Man
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throttleplate

maybe the old white dudes coudnt chip in because they lost all their money at MTGOX

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