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Required Reading For my Two Girls


rainymike

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Davaoeno

22 volumes of Dickens would not go amiss, Facts, Facts nothin but Facts as Dickens said in his book, Tale of Two Cities, What was good for me is good for my own daughters who can read through Tolstoy"s War and Peace, Dostevsky " The Idiot, and Anthony's Beavers Stalingrad and Fall of Berlin  whilst they are on holiday.Just like I had to. Not to mention 100 curry recipes.  

 

That must have been an exceedingly long holiday !!  I am a very fast reader myself and certainly couldnt finish those 3  tomes in 2 weeks - even without the curry recipes ! lol

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spritsail

You should see the reading list for Cambridge University entrants, summer reading.  I think Tolstoys War and Peace I read whilst lounging on the beach in Crete in three weeks,. I have been a life long reader of Dickens,  and I make sure I learn at least 5 recipes a day. I love a book but hate a Kindle.

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rainymike

 

 

i'm more concerned about how she is learning to appreciate the young local studs.  now they i'll have to watch out for. 

 

True. Didn't mean to point the finger just at us foreigners. I do worry about the local talent. Life can be tough in the Phils for women.

 

But, I can't protect them forever. They'll have to think on their feet and get through the foolishness of being young mostly on their own. Hopefully, I'll help give them enough to get started on a good footing and be around long enough to provide some back-up if needed.

 

And the girls are ages 2 and 9. Still a bit young for the forum, but in a few years, it'll be a good read for the eldest.

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Headshot

True. Didn't mean to point the finger just at us foreigners. I do worry about the local talent. Life can be tough in the Phils for women.

 

But, I can't protect them forever. They'll have to think on their feet and get through the foolishness of being young mostly on their own. Hopefully, I'll help give them enough to get started on a good footing and be around long enough to provide some back-up if needed.

 

And the girls are ages 2 and 9. Still a bit young for the forum, but in a few years, it'll be a good read for the eldest.

 

I think I would start them off with stuff like the Thornton Burgess series of "Adventures of" books rather than hooking them up on the forums. Wait until they are 18 before you expose them to the seedier side of the world.

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rainymike

 

 

Wait until they are 18 before you expose them to the seedier side of the world.

 

LOL ... I had to look up Thornton Burgess, but they do seem like a decent set of books to introduce them to at a younger age. But in my personal experience back home and with my experiences here in the Philippines, I think 18 may be too late. 

 

Sixth grade, a classmate introduced me to Playboy. Was so biologically fascinated (ahem!) that the teacher caught me. Dad chewed me out, but I think he was okay with me looking, but definitely not okay with me getting caught.

 

By the 7/8th grade, some of the girls were already strutting their stuff. This was the era of the mini-skirt craze. Boys and girls were going steady. Some of the more advanced ones were teaching the girls liplocks and copping feels between classes. 

 

In the 10th grade, Donna N. sat across me in first year Spanish class. The seats in the classroom were divided in two and facing each other, allowing the teacher to walk up and down the classroom with his 'Como esta usted.' Donna sat across us in that class. She wore the tiniest of mini skirts, looked hot in make-up, and could have taught Sharon Stone a thing or two about spreading her legs while sitting. It is a miracle that any of us guys sitting on that side of the classroom ever passed Spanish. 

 

In high school, women's lib and free love was what was happening. A couple of female classmates had to drop out of school for mysterious reasons. And so on. LOL ... one of my radical 10th grade high school teachers showed us the playmate of the month and used the F word in class to break us out of our shells.

 

Now all this was back in the 1960's and might actually seem pretty tame by today's standards. But hormones were going off like fireworks long before 18. 

 

I don't see the Philippines as any different. Kids are strutting their stuff on facebook, chatting with strangers, etc. at a young age. I see 14 year old girls (relations or family friends) getting knocked up and abandoned by their boyfriends. I see lots of kids with little or no parental supervision.

 

Not real sure yet, but I thought maybe by age 12 or 14, it will be time for their eyes to be opened to what's behind all the sweet talk. But I admit to being a noob about this. So I'm open to suggestions ... lol.

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Headshot

LOL ... I had to look up Thornton Burgess, but they do seem like a decent set of books to introduce them to at a younger age. But in my personal experience back home and with my experiences here in the Philippines, I think 18 may be too late. 

 

Sixth grade, a classmate introduced me to Playboy. Was so biologically fascinated (ahem!) that the teacher caught me. Dad chewed me out, but I think he was okay with me looking, but definitely not okay with me getting caught.

 

By the 7/8th grade, some of the girls were already strutting their stuff. This was the era of the mini-skirt craze. Boys and girls were going steady. Some of the more advanced ones were teaching the girls liplocks and copping feels between classes. 

 

In the 10th grade, Donna N. sat across me in first year Spanish class. The seats in the classroom were divided in two and facing each other, allowing the teacher to walk up and down the classroom with his 'Como esta usted.' Donna sat across us in that class. She wore the tiniest of mini skirts, looked hot in make-up, and could have taught Sharon Stone a thing or two about spreading her legs while sitting. It is a miracle that any of us guys sitting on that side of the classroom ever passed Spanish. 

 

In high school, women's lib and free love was what was happening. A couple of female classmates had to drop out of school for mysterious reasons. And so on. LOL ... one of my radical 10th grade high school teachers showed us the playmate of the month and used the F word in class to break us out of our shells.

 

Now all this was back in the 1960's and might actually seem pretty tame by today's standards. But hormones were going off like fireworks long before 18. 

 

I don't see the Philippines as any different. Kids are strutting their stuff on facebook, chatting with strangers, etc. at a young age. I see 14 year old girls (relations or family friends) getting knocked up and abandoned by their boyfriends. I see lots of kids with little or no parental supervision.

 

Not real sure yet, but I thought maybe by age 12 or 14, it will be time for their eyes to be opened to what's behind all the sweet talk. But I admit to being a noob about this. So I'm open to suggestions ... lol.

 

Mike, what exactly do you see in the forums that will keep young people from becoming biologically aware? Every person goes through some sort of biological awakening at some point...regardless of what their parents do to prevent it. Let your children be children as long as you can (which was why I suggested Burgess).

 

However, you probably need to sit your nine-year-old down in the next couple of years (now is probably not too early) and let her know that it's OK to ask you and your wife any question she has about relationships. Don't trust her to a bunch of old guys who don't have the love for her that you have. They may give her good advice, but they may also give her bad advice...and you have no idea which she will choose unless you are there to guide her. You have the maturity to sort out the good advice from the bad, but she isn't as mature as you...and she might think bad advice is good simply because it agrees with what she wanted to do in the first place.

 

So...I would say to you that you need to develop a relationship of trust and understanding with your daughters, so they won't be afraid to come to you for advice (on anything), and so they will trust the advice you give them. It is probable that your advice may be wrong at times, but they will at least know it was given out of love. Above all, you should NEVER get angry at them over any relationship oriented question they come to you with...even if you think they have already made poor decisions. Otherwise, they will stop asking...and you already know where that leads. 

 

Also, don't be afraid to answer any questions they have about the female body. If your wife is a typical Filipina like mine, then she is probably uncomfortable with discussing such things with her daughters. Just make sure your wife is there when you discuss such things.

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Canuck Joe

 Not real sure yet, but I thought maybe by age 12 or 14, it will be time for their eyes to be opened to what's behind all the sweet talk. But I admit to being a noob about this. So I'm open to suggestions ... lol.

Absolutely! And I'm a newb girl raiser too. I definitely want to arm her with the tools she needs and that will have to include internet safety which is a chapter of its own. Open adult forums on the internet are not safe or beneficial for young teens in my opinion. Like Headshot stated so well, this education/street smarts should come from parents where a dynamic and ongoing discussion developed and nurtured.

I'm really not looking forward to the teen years lol.

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rainymike

I think Headshot is correct about the first line of defense being the relationship between parents and children. 

 

And I think Canuck is right about the dangers of the internet. But I feel pretty comfortable with LinC. As someone pointed out, a lot of it is about older guys without a clue ... lol ... myself included. But being that the active membership is predominantly male, I wouldn't mind my daughter lurking a bit. Not so much about the biology ... sigh ... they'll learn that from friends, school and on the street - although I will certainly try to be available to them. But, I do think LinC as a whole does give interesting insights into how male minds think. LOL ... not sure I'm looking forward to that discussion with the girls.

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 I wouldn't mind my daughter lurking a bit. Not so much about the biology...

 

nope, that's not the point of allowing my daughter access here. 

 

... sigh ... they'll learn that from friends, school and on the street - although I will certainly try to be available to them.

 

NO!!!!   they should learn it from you.   by age 9 my daughter knew all the details of how babies are made, and about condoms and basics on disease.  you have to start early.  small steps work well, work it into everyday situations.  don't make a big deal out of it.  by the time she hits puberty she will begin to feel embarrassed to talk about such things with parents, even if you have a good relationship.  she will also already know a good bit more than you may like to think.

think of it this way.  if you teach your daughter right, then she will serve as the "friends, school and on the street" that other kids learn from.  and if your daughter has it right then so will the others and the public interest has been served.

 

But, I do think LinC as a whole does give interesting insights into how male minds think....

 

BINGO!!!  that's the purpose of allowing access to linc, when you feel it is appropriate.

i will add this, however:  in college i was hanging out much more with the ladies than other guys.  and when they get going you find that the way they think and talk makes the dk look TRULY tame.

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Headshot

I think Headshot is correct about the first line of defense being the relationship between parents and children. 

 

And I think Canuck is right about the dangers of the internet. But I feel pretty comfortable with LinC. As someone pointed out, a lot of it is about older guys without a clue ... lol ... myself included. But being that the active membership is predominantly male, I wouldn't mind my daughter lurking a bit. Not so much about the biology ... sigh ... they'll learn that from friends, school and on the street - although I will certainly try to be available to them. But, I do think LinC as a whole does give interesting insights into how male minds think. LOL ... not sure I'm looking forward to that discussion with the girls.

 

Just remember...there are three kinds of people.

 

Those who make things happen

Those who watch things happen

Those who wonder what the Hell happened

 

When it comes to raising kids, you really don't want to be one of the last two alternatives. If you do, you will be very sorry later...but it will be too late to go back and fix things. Children either learn this stuff from their parents or they learn wrong and suffer the consequences. You can either take responsibility for their education or you can take responsibility for their children. It's your choice. A little bit of discomfort now is better than a whole lot of discomfort later. The ultimate responsibility for educating your children (especially about sex and relationships) should never be delegated to others.

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regarding reading in general rather than reading the linc forum:

 

before little one came along there was a show called "picket fences" that my wife and i watched.  i remember an episode where the school principal was giving advice to the parents.  it was "read to your kids.  as often as you can for as long as they will allow it.".   that stuck with me and when the little bundle of flesh came along that's what i did.  by age 6 months i was reading to her every day (captive audience).  surrounded her with books, never once turned her down when she came to me with a book saying "read".  when a kid sees it is a good way to get a parents attention she will make use of it.  i always read to her at night, until that night came (cue the music) when she asked if she could read the book herself instead.  so then we would both read together and now she is stuck with the reading habit.  all that time together reading (and the talking that goes with it) will go far in developing that relationship you want to have when talking about boys and life and such. 

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rainymike

 

 

read to your kids.  as often as you can for as long as they will allow it.

 

One of the great things of beginning my family in retirement is that I do have much more time for the kids. It makes it a lot easier to shape the family culture that the kids are immersed in. Reading is definitely a priority for me. The two year old takes to it well, she can't read yet, but has many books and will often choose a book rather than a toy. But she is coming along well with identifying pictures and their spoken words.

 

Its been more challenging with the older kids. They did not come under my care until they were about 4 and 6. Prior to me, there were no books or school. Education was not really valued by the relatives who were raising them. Its been an uphill battle to encourage reading and learning. But progress is being made. The older kids don't like to read schoolbooks much, they usually prefer being shown how to do a problem and learn in that fashion. Now that's really fine for test taking, but doesn't really help them to learn for themselves.

 

So we do a mix of things for the older kids. The older boy likes Ben 10, so I give him Ben 10 comics. It's a start to get him to enjoy reading. LOL ... its not the classics, but it's more than just watching tv. We go over the kids' assignments with them almost every night. My partner is the lead in that even though she doesn't have a lot of formal education - but she has the stronger communication skills. I also make the kids read out loud.

 

Television is also used for enjoyment and learning. For the youngest, we also use educational DVD's with characters like Jollibee and Barney. Some of the Jollibee DVD's aren't bad - they teach in both English and Tagalog which really helps language development. If we watch a movie, sometimes I'll have a question and answer session with them about the movie. The partner and I will also watch the news and discuss the latest happenings over meals.

 

The oldest are ready for the computer and learning activities and they'll get a computer next year. Reading and listening are priorities, and I've played around with text to speech software that will enable the kids to read and listen to text. It should help English development. Lots of quiz and online learning software are out there as well that I'll use to make practice assignments. The kids will be taught how to do research on their own and encouraged to read ebooks (my substitute for a lack of libraries here).

 

Anyway, just some of the activities in addition to traditional reading that I'm resorting to. The Philippines does not have an adequate library system, school books are just adequate, and I find that we put in a lot of effort to help develop the child's learning skills. but yes, it helps create a bond with the kids.

 

LOL ... looks like I'm going to have to figure out how to slip sex education into that learning mix as well. "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" ... from the Kindergarten Cop movie. I'll probably be a flummoxed as Arnold Shwarzenegger.

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spritsail

You could get them a DVD of the Hobbit then ask them to read the book (originally wrote for children), The Lord of the RIngs takes a bit more getting into.  

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I recommend teaching them Martial Arts to at least black belt level...

They can also make am income from that.

 

 

Back to topic..

 

To back up my ranting discussions, lot's of documentary's.

Best way of seeing/learning of the world, imho....

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