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Gotta have ME time in a marriage


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Otherwise...why marry?

 

 

because it was the only way that she would put out.

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The standard allowance for wives is currently 50,000 a month.   If you're giving her less than that maybe you don't really love and respect her.   Also, you need to spend more couple time.

I hope she has a sense of humor, with some of the shit you guys are posting in this thread.        I need to have a talk with J!

Are all these relationship/family threads that you are starting purely so your wife will read them so you don't have to actually address the issues with her in person? Are you also possibly hoping tha

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because it was the only way that she would put out.

 

I suppose that is true for some men. Then again, they probably aren't thinking long-term anyway.

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they probably aren't thinking long-term anyway.

 

26 years now.  she still puts out.  :)

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Wolfpack

why not build her a 13 million peso house...

 

 

 

 

I think IF I were to buy my wife a 13 million peso house...I would make sure the property was titled...

 

If my wife were ever renting a room out in any house I bought her, I would insist she have a copy of the persons passport...give them a contract to sign...and give them a recept if they ever gave her money...

 

These are all if's mind you...not that anyone has ever done anything like this before...

 

now I think I will go loosen up my arm, spring training only a few months away...

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26 years now.  she still puts out.  :)

 

Oh...I didn't realize you were talking about a specific woman. I thought you were just talking in general.

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smokey

I think IF I were to buy my wife a 13 million peso house...I would make sure the property was titled...

 

If my wife were ever renting a room out in any house I bought her, I would insist she have a copy of the persons passport...give them a contract to sign...and give them a recept if they ever gave her money...

 

These are all if's mind you...not that anyone has ever done anything like this before...

 

now I think I will go loosen up my arm, spring training only a few months away...

if i was to try to guess what everyone else was up to i guess i would be confused as well and not really remember that most people well me for example would never build a house on a lot not titled but some people like me might buy a large lot to try to title it to make a few thousand percent profit so i guess some people even me can and do gamble at times..and if my wife rented out a room in her house and did not like the person for any reason it would be very easy to convince them to leave either on their own or escorted , of course then this person who could rent a room from her could complain to any number of people judge , prosecutor, police or even the military or various politicians , of course this type of complaint might not go anywhere and in fact could find said renter spending time on the 3 floor which would be ironic as it the very floor this mystery renter did in fact rent

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Wolfpack

if i was to try to guess what everyone else was up to i guess i would be confused as well and not really remember that most people well me for example would never build a house on a lot not titled but some people like me might buy a large lot to try to title it to make a few thousand percent profit so i guess some people even me can and do gamble at times..and if my wife rented out a room in her house and did not like the person for any reason it would be very easy to convince them to leave either on their own or escorted , of course then this person who could rent a room from her could complain to any number of people judge , prosecutor, police or even the military or various politicians , of course this type of complaint might not go anywhere and in fact could find said renter spending time on the 3 floor which would be ironic as it the very floor this mystery renter did in fact rent

 

so are you a Yankees fan?

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broden

me time .. yeah if me time was important to you before you were married sure you need me time after you are married too.. you also have to have we time.. and when you choose to be married what you become together and with your kids must come first. marriage is putting each other first but also allowing each other to be yourselves to.

 

i think when you are raising kids they come first, once they are raised your spouse comes first. and yourself comes third

but first second third they don't have to be very far behind one another.

 

every relationship is different though but all successful relationships need at least one giver

2 givers work

as does 1 giver 1 taker

2 takers is doomed to failure 

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2 givers will almost always work

1 giver and 1 taker may work for a while

2 takers will not work at all

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26 years now.  she still puts out.  :)

 

Mine too.  I just wish I could catch her at it.

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Salty Dog

5 Reasons Happy Couples Should Spend Time Apart

 

Written from a woman's point of view,

 

1. Real Connection

During his time away, I started to think about the difference between blending and connecting. Connecting is, by definition, what happens when two different entities meet.
Over many years together, we—like so many other couples—had slipped into a mode of blending or merging—each person’s preferences and routines and being blurred with the other’s. This is comfortable, but it isn’t exciting, and it actually precludes connection. Think about it: two things that are blended together quite literally cannot connect.
During our time apart, both he and I re-centered in ourselves as individuals, laying the foundation for connection.
 
2. The People We Love
I got to see anew just how fabulous my friends are. I expected that I would spend more time with them while my husband was away, but I surprised to find that our time together was much higher quality than usual, because I was bringing more attention and energy to it.
As my husband traveled, he nurtured relationships and made new friends as well. This makes me very happy. I know from the scientific research that strong social bonds enhance not only happiness but also health and longevity. Of course I want all of that for him.
Plus, the stronger his friendships, the more I get to be me. The stronger my friendships, the more he gets to be himself. I can do art with my art buddies and he can go see Avatar with someone who actually wants to see it. When we aren't looking to one another fill all of our social needs, we appreciate each other for who we are. We can connect rather than blend.
 
3. We See Unconscious Compromises
I knew I had made many unconscious compromises as my husband and I had lived a shared daily life for ten years, and I wanted to see what those were. When would I want to go to bed? When would I wake up? Would I spend my time differently? Would I be more focused or less? How would my mood be different?
I did end up getting on a different schedule, eating different foods, changing my workout patterns, and feeling much more independent. I rediscovered some of my own rhythms. Now I get to decide what I want to tweak in my routine going forward.
 
4. We Remembered How to…
My husband and I reject traditional gendered roles as much as possible, but we also specialize in tasks at home. He’s in charge of all things electronic, I’m in charge of all things social (sadly stereotypical, I know). I do groceries, he does mail. Etcetera.
Living alone, I did it all. (The cosmos itself seems to be very supportive of this project, since every time my husband boards a plane, a fuse blows, the modem commits mysterious acts, or the car begins roaring when in reverse. I deal. Well, I panic and then I deal.)
It’s important that I actually know what to do when these kinds of things happen. It’s quite lovely to feel like (or even be, perhaps) an autonomous adult. And it is important to me personally to know that my husband is my husband, not my husband/mechanic/IT support. Which brings me to my next point.
 
5. We Both Know We’d Be Just Fine
Because I feel so good when I’m around my husband, because he brings a lot of happiness into my life, I can understand how my brain concludes that if he weren't there, I wouldn't—or couldn't—feel good. But I learned (and I wasn't sure after ten years of coupled living) that’s I’m a very happy, well-functioning individual on my own. I am also very in love with my husband, a man who makes me very happy. Both are true. I don’t want to bring a spirit of needing or dependence into my relationship, so for me, knowing that I am just fine on my own is important.
So yes, I am recommending that if all this strikes a chord in you, you set up some intentional time apart from your darling. (And if you are someone whose partner is frequently away, what about consciously trying to use that time to strengthen yourself and the relationship?)
Edited by Salty Dog
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To OP, I agree with you.  Although every marriage is different, some couples like their individual time (ME time) and others like to do everything together.   One of my "screening criteria" while dating before I married my wife to was to see how well she was able to keep herself occupied and entertained independent of me.  I wanted a happy wife who didn't need me to be the sole provider of her happiness 24/7.  She has close ties to family, which I've always liked, and now after 13 years of marriage have a lot more insight into (and now I like it even more as her family has become my family).  In a marriage I wanted a healthy, mutually fulfilling and mutually balanced mix of things we like to do together, and things that we do separately and don't need each other's participation or permission to go off and do.

 

Having a wife that wanted or needed me around every single minute would drive me nuts.

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jtmwatchbiz

 

 

me time .. yeah if me time was important to you before you were married sure you need me time after you are married too.. you also have to have we time..

 

and on that note, i think it's now pee time

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Besides having a little bit of time away from each other I think it's also okay if you don't have exactly the same interests. I think a lot of guys would rather go in the backyard and pick up dog turds then go with the wife shopping, me included. I like science fiction and action movies with lots of special effects with my wife considers cartoonish and she likes soap opera reality shows like bored housewives I mean Real Housewives of.......... whatever. But we both like romantic comedies and concerts where we like to snuggle up and watch together.

Edited by tomaw
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jtmwatchbiz
go with the wife shopping,

 

i just broke into a cold sweat reading that. it's ok honey take the money but don't take me! :)

Edited by jtmwatchbiz
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