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BMW

The engagement ring

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BMW

How much did you spend when it came to purchasing the ring?

 

See I'm looking to purchase it whilst I'm in the Philippines, Manila to be exact but I'm not too sure how much to set my budget at? I realize that the quality of gold in the Philippines isn't best but my girlfriend is always going on about how she doesn't like wearing expensive jewelry blah blah .. it's not her.... but I'm still gonna get her something nice, spoil her - I've gotta make my mind up:

 

1. diamonds vs cubic zirconia

 

2. solid gold/silver vs gold/silver plated 

 

3. where to look to purchase it? ... a name jeweler in Mall of Asia say or a 'cheaper' independent jeweler... any ideas? 

 

I dunno about you but it kinda feels daft to spend fair chunk of cash on an engagement ring, why you might ask --- well she is just like most Filipina's, a simple girl who has simple tastes and doesn't like to feel that she is seen as thinking she is better than her friends/family cos she has a foreign boyfriend who buys her expensive ..... she would prefer to shop at the Divisoria markets rather than Mall of Asia - eat street foods than eat at a restaurant etc etc ............ if I brought her something a little more high end, she would not want to know the price anyways... it's why I don't wanna buy her anything too flashy/expensive, it kinda feels wrong when you consider the poverty in the Philippines and that fact we are looking at living in the Philippines for 3 years or so ... does that make sense?

 

If asked she would probably feel more comfortable telling people its fake hahaha

Edited by BMW

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Paul

And, most Filipinos, none I have ever known in fact, buy engagement rings. I'm sure some probably do. I just have never met any who did. 

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RPretire?

Bought her engagement ring here in the USA for nearly the exact same reasons she told you (LISTEN).  There is a security aspect to this situation that she will have to face in the streets, markets, public transports, ect.  I DID honor her request to wait until she was here to buy it and her to wear it in comfort and relative security (Yes crime can happen anywhere).  Imagine.... having rice & water dinners with her family knowing what she has on her finger can make them all more comfortable or less hungry!  You have Western Thinking and that my friend does not always blend with the locals!!!  She is saying what I have said but in a different way (just like my now wife said to me).  My 3 cents :) 

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meylou

I agree with RPretire.  It's not a very good idea for anyone in the philippines to be wearing something that sparkles. It could cost her her finger or worse, her life.  I kid you not! But if you must buy her an engagement ring, buy her a birthstone, a very nice one. It would not cost you as much. Just an idea.  Good luck!

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mikejwoodnz

I bought my (now) wife a real gold and sapphire, side diamonds on line @ Trademe (NZ Ebay) for less than $200. It had a valuation of $1500. I kept the ring until my next visit and sent the Valuation Certificate to her. Now I did this not to sensure her commitment  to me but to re-enforce my commitment to her  :ROFLMAO:. In retrospect the ring (in the Philippines) caused her unwarranted attention, including inappropriate expectations from her family she stopped wearing it there until we were married and now proudly wears it with her wide band wedding ring as a positive affirmation :rose: .

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BMW

Bought her engagement ring here in the USA for nearly the exact same reasons she told you (LISTEN).  There is a security aspect to this situation that she will have to face in the streets, markets, public transports, ect.  I DID honor her request to wait until she was here to buy it and her to wear it in comfort and relative security (Yes crime can happen anywhere).  Imagine.... having rice & water dinners with her family knowing what she has on her finger can make them all more comfortable or less hungry!  You have Western Thinking and that my friend does not always blend with the locals!!!  She is saying what I have said but in a different way (just like my now wife said to me).  My 3 cents :)

 

Nahh I wouldn't say I have complete western thinking without taking into consideration cultural differences ;) , I'm just thinking out aloud..... it makes complete sense to wait till she comes to your country before buying her the ring and why if she was a western girl I would just buy the ring without thinking twice ....... it's not what I want - a western girl, feck that - been there done that ........... I might just get her something relatively in-expensive -something understated i.e. that doesn't sparkle and say ''look at me, look at me'' hahaha, maybe even let her pick it out...... something like that for now anyways :)

 

 

I agree with RPretire.  It's not a very good idea for anyone in the philippines to be wearing something that sparkles. It could cost her her finger or worse, her life.  I kid you not! But if you must buy her an engagement ring, buy her a birthstone, a very nice one. It would not cost you as much. Just an idea.  Good luck!

 
Cheers for the idea
Edited by BMW

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quit_yume

i agree with the others.. . buying anything of real value at this point would definitely put her in a difficult situation.   on the one hand you will reinforce the idea from her friends and relatives that she has hooked a rich one and they will expect her to share her blessings with them.   and on the other hand, she wont be able to wear it anywhere outside the house because there will be too many people willing to do her harm to take it from her if they see her with it.. 

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Davaoeno

I spent 55,000   That is about 1/10 of what I spent the one previous  time in Canada 

 

 

Of course its always possible to come up with a great many reasons why you shouldnt buy her a real diamond 

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Monsoon

I bought my wife an engagement ring. But it wasn't something she expected. She has a center stone and side stones (diamonds). She always wears it upside down in the Philippines.  Probably for fear someone will cut off her hand.

Edited by Monsoon

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mexiwi

I am just thinking about this too, going to get engaged when in NZ at Christmas but don't want to buy her something that will put her at risk.

 

I am not sure at all, I am not going to buy some massive rock anyway - as my gf would be horrified at putting so much money on her finger - but I want to get her something nice.

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BMW

I spent 55,000   That is about 1/10 of what I spent the one previous  time in Canada 

 

 

Of course its always possible to come up with a great many reasons why you shouldnt buy her a real diamond 

 

That is around price I thinking of looking 40,000 - 60,000 ...... but my first thoughts seem to have backed up, the guilt on her when eating rice and BBQ beef/pork .... the ring 

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Davaoeno

That is around price I thinking of looking 40,000 - 60,000 ...... but my first thoughts seem to have backed up, the guilt on her when eating rice and BBQ beef/pork .... the ring 

 

Look- you are lucky enough to have a woman who doesnt try to show off to everyone now that she has snagged a foreigner, a woman who doesnt try to take advantage of you [ in fact I bet she wants to prove that she is not one of those filipinas everyone has heard about who milks her man at every chance]- but dont let that stop you from showing her- and yourself - just how much she really means to you - and how much you appreciate her resistance to showing off.

 

As to poverty in the Philippines- whether you give her a Cracker Jack ring or the ring you really want to give her wont make the slightest bit of difference !! 

 

Do what YOU feel is right !! 

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smokey

my wife accused me of trying to get her killed so i can marry a young girl and her proof was asking her to wear a ring 

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Sven

Just skip it, and rather spend the money on something that makes a positive difference. Something that helps her family perhaps. That would make all parties happy.

Edited by Sven

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BMW

Just skip it, and rather spend the money on something that makes a positive difference. Something that helps her family perhaps. That would make all parties happy.

 

I want to buy her something to mark the engagement tho :) , I know its my stupid western thinking but I want to get her something simple to remember the moment by... in terms of helping out the family, thats a good idea .. my folks are getting something for her whole family tho' (her family..) - I'm almost positive they are getting money for Christmas :) from my folks ................. maybe put on a bit of a engagement party -lots off (deffo my fav sisig, mmmm) whilst I'm over this time around .

Edited by BMW

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