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Routines for kids - does western thinking apply?


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mactanfamily

We ferberized my daughter who i met when she was 2. Took 4-5 early nights of early screaming, but worked like a charm. Same thing with the seatbelt she had never worn. Just a slow phasing out of paying attention in longer and longer spans.

 

Did wake up one morning and find all our money in the toilet. Thats when I knew I had a smart one to raise. No problem with the next one as he was put in his room alone from early on.

 

Howe schooling reinforces stability and routine these days. Couldn't be happier.

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I understand the situation. Went through similar issues. Here's my opinion.

 

You're only a part time dad now. Not in a very strong position to influence the upbringing of the child - other factors (extended family, community) have a greater bearing.

 

Good to focus on the child and not the partner. But he's not in school yet, so any arguments about education are just that - hypothetical arguments.

 

You're trying to change the attitude of your partner alone. It's an uphill battle. However, once our kids were in school - attitudes began to change. My partner and I both made big sacrifices to put them into a private school. Once there, we both developed expectations for the child to succeed. The school and other upwardly mobile families also played a key role in shaping values and attitudes. I no longer was the only role model - there were a lot of pinoy families who shared many of my values and attitudes. 

 

Give it time. But you need to be involved and/or create the situation where the kinds of values you desire are supported by others. It's a tough battle trying to do so on your own. And when I say give it time, I mean years, not days.

I can see things working out for the best in say 2-3 years and that will be around the same time the boy starts going to school regularly... and seeing as we both want him in a good private school where speaking English is of big importance I can see my fiancé really wanting to do everything we can to put him in the best position to succeed later in life.... as of now like you said other factors like extended family and the community have a greater bearing anyways - I agree 100 percent.

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