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I Hate My Wife!


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BossHog

She's robbed me of my self-esteem, belittles my equipment, cheers against my favorite teams and plays better hold'em than I do.

 

So I exact my revenge in every petty little way possible.

 

When she used to let me out in public I would:

 

1. Enter a restaurant and demand in a loud voice that everyone can hear:

 

     "What's the cheapest bloody thing on the menu?"

 

2. When it comes time to pay I take in a half glass of drinking water, try and pay the bill in Indonesian Rupiah, and do a massive spit-take when they refuse to accept foreign currency.

 

3. In a supermarket, get bored, crack and guzzle a can of Red Horse and mill around slurring to nobody in particular:

 

    "Where is zee adult di-a-pers? In German vee haff very gut adult di-a-pers"

 

     Until she gets the hint and speeds up her shopping.

 

4. In the province she'll ride inside the jeepney but I get on the roof, take off my t-shirt, and sunbathe on the rice sacks. When we stop in some village to unload chickens I'll stand up half-clothed wad up a fifty and throw it down to some peasant kid to get me "a Tandy Junior and make it snappy." She HATES that one. Bonus points.

 

What do you do to make your wife's life miserable and prove to yourself that you are above her contempt?

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I like # 3. It's always fun to blame it on the Germans. :drinks:

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I don't do anything except work 60 to 70 hours a week... but it does the trick, just lucky I guess... 

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What do you do to make your wife's life miserable and prove to yourself that you are above her contempt?

 

 

 

I used to make love to my wife that seemed to work well. 

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broden

I used to make love to my wife that seemed to work well. 

outsourcing

Much better to get morning wood, feign sleep, and mutter her sisters' names.

 

Classic.

or her brothers

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Brucewayne

Much better to get morning wood, feign sleep, and mutter her sisters' names.

 

Classic.

 

My wife has so many sisters that it would take all morning to mutter all of their names.

It is easier to just roll over on my stomach and pretend to snore.

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What do you do to make your wife's life miserable and prove to yourself that you are above her contempt?

 

I wake up each morning... that seems to do the job... :yahoo:

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SkyMan

I like # 3. It's always fun to blame it on the Germans. :drinks:

Good way to get out of a ticket too.  Speak a mock German to them and start to get agitated, plenty of hand gestures pointing back to the way you came and what not.  He'll become embarrassed and send you on your way.

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My wife is good at hiding her contempt.  Can't say if she has any for me, but she does hate some of the clothes I wear.  My tight super short shorts, which I posted a pic of a couple of weeks ago in the DK.  Too flirtatious and revealing she complained, no different that a woman walking around showing off her camel toe.   Not being one to be told what I can and can't wear, I put up with that contempt until she realised that contempt wasn't going to stop me wearing something I like, and suddenly her mindset of contempt for said shorts changed to 'Some things are better left unsaid'. 

 

We've since been clothes shopping and I picked up some more shorts, just the type she at one time showed contempt for.  Her facial, body and spoken language showed no signs of contempt, but the question is, is that contempt hiding away and simmering on its way to reaching boiling point?

 

I think I'll buy some more shorts today.

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