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familiy feuds ( dilema intervene or not )


panther

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Paul...from what ive seen here I think parents have no idea how to discipline their kids.....its either physical or pick the kid up, cuddle them n give them a coke from the ref.....no idea really cos if it was my own kid then i'd act as I experienced with my kids back home..loss of priviledges, no TV Or TIME OUT......But its not home...so really im glad im not directly involved...

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Walk away...all our arguments have been over family matters....half the time you cannot understand what they are screaming about or are they just talking normally.....stick your nose in and suddenly y

Here is what happend when you intervened.   Your  GF is now  royally pissed you "came down" on her and not her  daughter.    You made her lose face in front of her daughter and didn't back her up.  

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broden

might wanna sleep with one eye open after telling her that

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Well it is refreshing to know that some Filipina get pissed of with people stuck in phones texting all the time. I had to put up with that for quite a while and thought I might have stepped into a new norm.

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I rent a house where madz and me live .. I pay for it ,, I am the man of the house, according to her. 

 

last week she exploded on her sister and ignored me asking why. I tell her to get out of the house or tell me whats going on .. 

She still ignore me and I (playing my part as the man) throw her out .

So on me telling her, she went outside and had a cry.. 

 

She was never mad at me for doing that.

 

So yeah I go between and if no one tells me wtf is going on under my roof some1 is getting a time out . 

 

Just a few days ago I threw out her little sister (19) and brother (15) cos they were just annoyingly present using our wify and overstaying there welcome. 

I understand why they come and they are used to hanging here, a habit they pick up when I am doing my time in Norway.

 

I am not often strict and when I have been they tried complain to there mama ,,,, mama look at them and say " pikat, koya Rune is the boss so u better listen" 

 

Mads (a little em barest) approved this message.

 

Edited by Runian
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might wanna sleep with one eye open after telling her that

 

 

 

'An both hands covering 'you know what !

Edited by Sonny
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Headshot

To the OP...the answer to your question is NOT. You should NEVER get between a mama bear and her cubs...not if you value your life. You may think of yourself as the daughter's step-father...but you are not. This is your GF you are talking about...not your wife. You have no legal or moral standing in this matter. Many westerners are shocked that child rearing is done differently in Asia than it was back home. Well...maybe the fact that it is different is why, in traditional Asian homes, there are a lot less brats to be found. You don't get brats until you (or Asian parents) try to do things the western way.

 

Get over it. If your GF and her daughter go at it again, just get out of the way (and I mean WAY out of the way), and let your GF handle things however she wants to. You can decide later whether or not you still want your GF and her daughter living with you. If, even with the episodes you don't agree with, you still want to be with her...then just continue on as if nothing happened and stay out of the way in the future. If this is just more than your sensibilities can take, then let your GF know that the relationship is over and move on (if that is the case, I would suggest that you avoid women with children in the future).

 

BTW, the absolute worst thing you can do to a Filipina is to make her lose face in front of others. You might get through it if she loves you, but not necessarily. Learn from this experience and don't do it again. What you did wrong had nothing to do with how you handled things...but that you got involved at all. Don't modify your approach. Just make a mental note to not involve yourself where you have no business in the future.

Edited by Headshot
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Skywalker

My house?

 

My Rules.

 

Bugger the culture.

 

Disclaimer:  I am not married, nor do I have a live in girlfriend (with or without kids)  :Yay:

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Master Luke are you still searching for princess Leia....battling the evil empire and still waiting to become the grand master of the extended jedi empire?     Here in your condo it might just eventuate..... :Yay: 

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JSL-USMC

Mothers and daughters have been going at each other ever since there has been mothers and daughters. My first Filipina wife had our 14 year old daughter by the arm.my daughter was running circles on her, the wife was trying to get in a few good licks, lot's of screaming. daughter is 26 now and she and her Mom remember and laugh. Neither one could tell you what the fracas was about. Daughter was one mean little girl. She is a mom now, a registered nurse and one of the nicest young ladies you could meet.

It's part of growing up these confrontations with the parents. Doesn't mean anything unless they bring out the knives. As one of the gurus on here mentioned "there's not as many brats in the Filipino homes" but I doubt that he, or anyone else could not tell you exactly why.

Walk around the malls in the U.S. on weekends and you will get a good dose of western up-bringing. Loud and rude.

Edited by BGGruff
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Since the very first post, I am still wondering why a child needs a cell phone. Had mom kept her daughter from having one in the first place, this would not have ever happened.

 

I believe in being pretty strict on children. I believe in them earning privileges and rights. I also believe in tearing their asses out of the frame if need be. 

 

I have two full grown children who are not mentally screwed up, not ax murders, both being contributing members of society. 

 

But, that is how people are these days. They give to children as though the children are adults.

its not a case of a child needing one she,s 15 and in this day in age its a neccesity kids of that age I look around the malls and every kid has one from what I can see .

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its not a case of a child needing one she,s 15 and in this day in age its a neccesity kids of that age I look around the malls and every kid has one from what I can see .

 

Okay. Why? I still can't see what responsibilities a 15 years old girl has, that dictates she needs a cell phone. That is the problem. People give children too damned much in today's world. 

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Okay. Why? I still can't see what responsibilities a 15 years old girl has, that dictates she needs a cell phone. That is the problem. People give children too damned much in today's world. 

Ya getting old paul in your thinking .what were you doin in at 15 blowing the heads of rabbits with ya gun lol

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Ya getting old paul in your thinking .what were you doin in at 15 blowing the heads of rabbits with ya gun lol

 

Well, I wasn't on the phone when I should have been doing chores around the house, for damned sure.

 

I still say the mom was right. I wouldn't have slapped her. But, I would have tanned her hide with my trusty paddle, if she were mine. One lick, that is all it would have taken. She would have been off that damned phone and on to her chores, posthaste. 

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well i,ve gave her a lecture about obeying mamma when she asks her to do something around the house no chores no cell phone or laptop lol. 

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ellenbrook2001

oh hmm well well has a foreigner we pay the bill what ever the person live under my roof i have rules take it or live it did have the sister of my gf for 6 months but shes never do anything very lazy but my gf say you tell her or shes wont listen to me after no changes so did talk to my GF then say shes has to go so shes did has shes was working so shes had free all at home now shes cannot save and now beg her sister to be back but my gf say his up to me no way shes will be back shes has no respect from me ,had to clean her room everyday mess all over then the bathroom unfortunately shes wont learn you know why cause her stupid mum never tell her off i do not care the PINOY way that my place you go my way or you are out.

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