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Why would anyone want to live in Cebu after reading this forum?


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RogerDat

Greetings! I am tired, worn out,  and trying to get drunk. ( without much success) The pain will not go away.

HOW can any sane person after reading the post on this forum EVER consider coming her to "Live long and Prosper: ? ( HOT D-M the spell check works!)

 

U can not bank here, buy anything U need, get medical care, educate your kids, own land, vote, have trash pick up, find toilet paper, be the only one sleeping with your wife, have a car that fits U, sit down in a CLEAN, COOL ,bar and have a drink without being drugged, poisoned by bad food, use the CR without providing your own TP.

If U go to the hospital, they will miss diagnose your condition, over charge U, do test till your money is used up, THEN send U to the public hospital, (and they cure U for free!), and no body really wants U here unless U are paying them for the air U breath? (W how! working spell check)

 

And please DO NOT FORGET to NOT sit under coconut trees!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

AND NOW!!! we have people living in other countries posting how bad it is there! WHY? Will they not listen to U at home?

Time to get another beer. good night and may God Bless all.

 

TO THE MOD, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!

 

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I would.   I noticed much more than the girls.   Maybe because I never came to the Philippines to find a girl and did not know about the bikini bars etc before my first trip. I just came for a hol

In my mind, I think more people DO end up visiting the Philippines due to the information offered on this forum. I feel this, because they don't get smoke blown up their asses when they come to this f

The forums members tell the good, the bad and the ugly of living in the Philippines so if anyone who has not been to the Philippines reads the bad stuff and knows that they do not have the temperament

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Are you drunk yet? Just curious. 

 

Anyway, I can't wait to see some replies to this. 

Do carry on, folks. 

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udonthani

it takes talent not to be able to find toilet paper.

 

in fact the only time I can offhand remember being overcharged for anything last trip was for that particular item. Somebody in a convenience store in Siquijor asked for 39 pesos for a single roll.

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philuk

And heres me thinking i had a sence of humour.

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And heres me thinking i had a sence of humour.

Don't be silly. You're English. :D

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A_Simple_Man

Why would anyone want to live in Cebu after reading this forum?

 

After you get drunk, (which is one of the cheap things to do here), you can get laid (another cheap thing to do here), or get a cheap taxi home, or drive without much chance of getting your license taken away, and if you don't have a license it really won't matter because you can just give 500 pesos if stopped.  All this is possible for foreign Senior (non)Citizens.  Try these things in your home country.

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broden

it's a good home base to get drunk and post on forums from

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dutchben

Drunk people and children always tell the treu (saying)

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udonthani

 

 

After you get drunk, (which is one of the cheap things to do here), you can get laid (another cheap thing to do here), or get a cheap taxi home, or drive without much chance of getting your license taken away, and if you don't have a license it really won't matter because you can just give 500 pesos if stopped.  All this is possible for foreign Senior (non)Citizens.  Try these things in your home country.

 

 

must admit the cops were brilliant after that spill in Siqui. At home I would have just been locked up.

 

they took the bike 10km, me into the hospital, managed to identify my girlfriend just using my phone despite there being 200 contacts in it, suumoned her to come over from Bohol and all with me totally unconscious. I never even saw them. And they only charged me 500 pesos for all that!

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goggleye

it's a good home base to get drunk and post on forums from

yeah you put otis in the drunk tank  :-)

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broden

Drunk people and children always tell the treu (saying)

no mommy i didn't eat any cake

3313qrd.jpg

 

 

I've only had one beer officer

mmv6tc.jpg

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The forums members tell the good, the bad and the ugly of living in the Philippines so if anyone who has not been to the Philippines reads the bad stuff and knows that they do not have the temperament to deal with all the bs that the Philippines sometimes tosses at some foreigners, then they would be much better off not trying to live in the Philippines, that is unless they are thinking with the head down under.  :shitstormretarded:  Now if you go to the Philippines as a Balikbayan as my wife and I do or as a tourist, then the Philippines can be a great place to spend some time in and if you have a personality to let stuff roll off your back as quite a few non Filipinos who live in the Philippines seem to have, then it too can be a wonderful place, it is all about a persons ability to deal with life and issues. Then comes those who are pickled all the time and just do not give a sh*t.  :bar:  of course mileage may vary and there may be other situations I have not mentioned.  :as-if:

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Banking. Easy to do banking here, you just gotta wait for an hour. Or more. And follow their inane rules!

 

Driving. Great when I do an illegal U-Turn on a main highway and get pulled over by the PNP, no fine, no hassles, they told me next time be careful sir! Beautiful!

 

Shopping. If you love pork, bread, veggies, hotdogs, eggs, cheese, canned ham(Hereford yum) fruits, fish, it's easy to get and bloody cheap! Ya just gotta zone out from the screaming pigs next door!

 

Medical care. I don't get sick! Touch wood.

 

Education in any country is a dumbed down joke!

 

Land. I will own land when my wife dies!

 

Politics? Who would wanna vote for those corrupt puppets?

 

Trash pickup no drama.

 

Toilet paper. Be prepared! A bowel movement cold happen any time!

 

Car? Motorbike will do me!

 

Sleeping with the wife? Marry a woman who respects her Pek Pek!

 

Bars. I agree! Drink at home it's safer! But seriously, love the pubs here, you just gotta be aware of the pricks who wanna drug ya! Or scam ya! 

 

Air. Hey we pay for everything else why not pay for the air to? Hey we gotta pay collecting rain water in the West yeh? Or fishing in the bay? Airs next!

 

Great post, funny as. Whippy needs to get away from the Sari Sari's and start shopping in the local markets. Ok I'm pissed too. Cheers! 

Edited by OzGuy43
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HeyMike

I live here for the challenge. I love a good challenge.

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