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Kabisay-an gid

Don't Americans understand the concept of personal space when you are in public?

 

Puh-leeze!

 

When I was in the Phils just this past March/April, I wasn't approached once by an American. However I was approached by a Canadian, an Aussie, and a fellow from New Guinea - all of whom struck up a conversation with me.

 

I didn't mind chatting with them for a minute or two, they all seemed to be decent chaps. There's no need to be uncivil with people in public.

 

 

 

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Edited by Kabisay-an gid
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Let me set the scene. We, the wife and i, are shopping in the SM supermarket yesterday afternoon around 3pm. Quite busy and i'm on cart duty. You know the score, you push, keep up and dont say too mu

I remember having this conversation when we first moved here. I would speak to anyone who looked like a "foreigner" whenever in the malls. Now I usually won't speak to someone in the mall,(some who ha

For crine out loud, where you from and how long you been here are friggin normal questions one ask. Usually I give the nod or a hello to a foreigner and the locals when it seems right. But to bitch ab

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A_Simple_Man

 

I feel more people should learn to live by the golden rule and they might just end up having a better life

 

Abso'friggin'lutely!!!  Imagine if the loudmouth referred to in the opening post was wandering through his local USA Walmart and some old dude in a wifebeater and too short, shorts and slippers with no socks came up to him and started engaging him in a loud conversation.  Then figure out how he is likely to react and do the same for him when he approaches you in SM.

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Skywalker

Well, they say no man is an island, whoever they are.

 

But anybody walking around, minding their own business, has the absolute right to disengage from a friendly stranger, who has approached out of the blue.

 

Of course manners maketh the man, so it's important to remain polite.

 

You can't judge a book by it's cover, and that stranger is just as likely to be a vicar as he is a serial killer.

 

KEEP UP YOUR GUARD AND STAY ALIVE.      :bar:

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JSL-USMC

I would just give him my best Australian "crocodile dundee" impression and tell him in the same loud tone "Mate, smeg-off you fecking Yank wanker!" and then walk away giggling with a shit-eating smile....

 

 

but hey, what can I say, I'm just a dick..... :biggrin_01:

James, from your friendly posts and your seeming unassuming manner I just doubt that you would do that. Anyone who takes offense at someone for saying hello seems to have a definite problem.   "....just a dick" now you're bragging.. The asterisk is just a ruse to confuse us but it has to be dack, deck, dick, dock or duck. I'm bettin' DUCK. Right?

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Well, they say no man is an island, whoever they are.

 

I am. I'm Boracay. 

 

 

Anyone who takes offense at someone for saying hello seems to have a definite problem.

 

It's all a matter of location. A supermarket is a place I want to get in and out fast. I'm not there for fun, I don't enjoy shopping. I don't need the extra hassle of mundane conversation.

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JamesMusslewhite

James, from your friendly posts and your seeming unassuming manner I just doubt that you would do that. Anyone who takes offense at someone for saying hello seems to have a definite problem.   "....just a dick" now you're bragging.. The asterisk is just a ruse to confuse us but it has to be dack, deck, dick, dock or duck. I'm bettin' DUCK. Right?

your right. Actually I am quite respectful, friendly, and try to be both engaging and infomative. Then I talk their ear off till they try to rectify their mistake and start making up their best excuses to try to get the hell away from me... :biggrin_01:  

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Monsoon

I have to say, of all the people who have just 'randomly' approached me for conversation in a grocery or other store, none had wholesome intentions. Never once has a normal person just wanted friendly conversation under those circumstances. Probably because normal people in those situations are too busy getting their shit done in the store so they can leave and get onto something else productive in life. 

 

Now, this does not apply  easily to other situations. For example while pumping gas in the states I very often have people making small talk with me. So far (as long as they are pumping has as well) it is all harmless and friendly. Especially in Texas. It appears that everyone in Texas (over 50) needs to have a conversation while pumping gas. No problem. Now if they aren't pumping gas - 99.99999% of the time anyone who approaches me at the gas pump is up to no good. With one exception - today I was walking towards the gas pump (I had been inside and was returning to my bike) when a young pretty attractive lady pulled up along side of me and said, "Sir, excuse me.... I don't know you very well but when you get a chance 'XYZ'." 

 

Sure enough... I said, very embarrassed, "Sorry about that." and she said, "Oh, no.. You be careful on that bike now." 

 

She paused for a while afterwards too... hmmm.. Me thinks I coulda.... 

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SomeRandomGuy

The weird thing is I have been super nice to so many guys here in the last 5 years... so far 95% of them have caused me drama's or even worse have tried to get me involved in business's or even worse.... tried to give me advice on what I should be doing at my age....

 

I acknowledge everyone with a smile and a nod.... talk to random dudes at coffee shops... and often lean a sympathetic ear for people having a rough time with their lives here.

 

What I don't do ( and sorry to offend if it applies to yourself) is speak to people I would never associate with back home.... If you are 60 with a 18 year old woman and drunk more times a day then you are sober then I probably am not interested in any conversation I  could quiet possibly have with you.

 

I do often get approached by older guys that are friendly at first and want to give me advice on living here... I try not to be rude to guys like that as I can see they are friendly and want to give me advice to save me from mistakes I could make here ( wish I had of met them 6 years ago when I first came here to visit).

 

Sometimes U can tell when I guy is living in the province and has not seen another english speaking guy for quiet awhile... or they don't get out that much so it is always nice to have a chat with them so they can feel special.....

 

The sexpats and predators and drunks....  I try to give them all a wide berth

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Abso'friggin'lutely!!!  Imagine if the loudmouth referred to in the opening post was wandering through his local USA Walmart and some old dude in a wifebeater and too short, shorts and slippers with no socks came up to him and started engaging him in a loud conversation.  Then figure out how he is likely to react and do the same for him when he approaches you in SM.

From behind me comes a very, very loud voice, American accent, "Hey, where ya from"

There was no comment about him being poorly dressed but if he was wearing wifebeater too short shorts and slippers then he would fit in perfectly with many of the expats I see walking around the Philippines  :ROFLMAO: yourself Dave NOT included. 

 

In Wally world in the US or in the Philippines I would give him the time of day until he proved he was an ahole and only then I would walk away.  Most people I have met start out with something similar such as "where are you from" and then if they see you are friendly they might ask some questions on how or where to get things done as I have had happen to me quite a few ask me. 

 

Why is it that on forums that some of us are willing to help strangers but the thought of someone walking up to us is repugnant to some.  :shocked:

 

Dave having met you, I find it hard to believe that you would not be one of the nice guys if approached nicely by a westerner you did not know. Yes if the person is obnoxious then possibly I might not answer but then again he might have forgot his hearing aid that day or needs a hearing aid and did not realize he was being loud. I probably talk loud myself because I cannot hear well with all the tinnitus going on and the darn doctors keep refusing to give me a hearing aid. :(

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Some of you boys are such grouchy old fuks that a glass of milk would instantly sour in you hand

 

Is it really that hard to be civil and friendly ???

 

 

 

 

Birds of a feather flock together-----it is only natural

 

If you think I am wrong then let me ask you this----have you EVER seen 2 Filipinas pass each other in public in your homeland and them not acknowledge each other in some way????

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From personal experience I know that if you meet one of the really screwed up expats, it could complicate your life for years...  

 

How do you know he`s screwed up bad, if you never meet him ??

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I usually respond in German, French or Japanese. The conversation doesn't usually go far. 

 

Don't Americans understand the concept of personal space when you are in public?

 

A large, loud, rude American ??   Surely you jest !   :shocked: :shocked:

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SomeRandomGuy

have you EVER seen 2 Filipinas pass each other in public in your homeland and them not acknowledge each other in some way????

 

constantly....   IN darwin there are a hell of alot of filipino's living and working there..... in fact it is almost like living as a white guy in cebu.....U see so many there it is not a rare thing to run into another one....  in fact u see about 50 to 60 of your own kind per day ( similar to what the population is like in darwin)....

 

So NO they don't acknowledge each other in some way to random strangers they don't know..... they do however acknowledge people they run into every single day as they gain some familiarity with these people.....

 

I see so many white guys in cebu and dumaguete that it makes no sense to acknowledge them all.... unless i see them quiet often then I do acknowledge them for similar reasons ( familiarity)

 

Then if i discover that person is european or even worse a yank..... I quickly discover I am late for another engagement ( wink)

Edited by SomeRandomGuy
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I left the West years ago. I have no desire to walk up to to Westerners and ask them where they come from. If I was that interested In would have stayed there.

 

Very disappointed at some of the posts categorizing and labeling people by nationality. All the more reason to avoid them rather than socialize. No wonder Filipino criticize some Westerners as worst than bad Filipino.

Edited by hyaku
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JamesMusslewhite

How do you know he`s screwed up bad, if you never meet him ??

And in that is the eternal question. All you can do is take the bite of that apple and try to snatch that little morsel of cheese with the hope it does not come with a choking or a spring-loaded surprise. I like people too much to try to play the hermit. I am also cursed with the fault of always trying to see the best out of people and being obliviously naive, which is like the proverbial enticing flame or chum in the water. You just roll the dice and try to avoid "snake eyes".

Edited by JamesMusslewhite
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