Jump to content

If it was you, i'm sorry


Tinbum

Recommended Posts

It's about social context.  In a bar I don't have a problem talking to strangers.  That's kind of what a bar is for.  But a supermarket is not a place to socialize, (despite what the fuente robinsons jingle says).

 

I'm an introvert.  I like being an introvert.  I don't welcome having my private thoughts interrupted by being forced to socially engage in conversation with someone I don't know and most likely don't want to know.  I have as many friends as I need and want - no openings there.

 

There are many unwritten social rules we learn as children but the one about talking to strangers in unsocial places might be a bit vaguely defined.  My take on it is that it's not polite.  But obviously some of the more gregarious types might think differently.  I don't hold it against them and neither do I want to be rude.  But making it clear from the outset I'm not open to such chit chat is necessary.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 73
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Wrye83

    6

  • hyaku

    5

  • JamesMusslewhite

    5

  • SomeRandomGuy

    4

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Let me set the scene. We, the wife and i, are shopping in the SM supermarket yesterday afternoon around 3pm. Quite busy and i'm on cart duty. You know the score, you push, keep up and dont say too mu

I remember having this conversation when we first moved here. I would speak to anyone who looked like a "foreigner" whenever in the malls. Now I usually won't speak to someone in the mall,(some who ha

For crine out loud, where you from and how long you been here are friggin normal questions one ask. Usually I give the nod or a hello to a foreigner and the locals when it seems right. But to bitch ab

Posted Images

  • Administrator
Salty Dog

I would just give him my best Australian "crocodile dundee" impression and tell him in the same loud tone "Mate, smeg-off you fecking Yank wanker!" and then walk away giggling with a shit-eating smile....

 

 

but hey, what can I say, I'm just a dick..... :biggrin_01:

11495748.jpg Edited by Salty Dog
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Admin (Retired)

Actually I saw the Ayala scammer again last week.  His new patch is top floor, by the cinema.  

 

His opening line is always, 'are you American' and then he goes into his bullshit routine.

you should let him know he's famous he has web presence.. he could set up a paypal account and a small website

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Lets not say only southern Americans are guilty of this though. It seems to be more common of people who have an accent that is so thick it's almost impossible to understand them. My best guess, based off accents is that I'm randomly approached more often, in order, by Australians, Redneck Americans and then by guys from somewhere in the UK (probably the worst accents I've came across).

 

I find them friendly, entertaining and harmless. Usually I have no idea what they are saying and just give answers to what the most likely questions would be when it seems to be my turn to speak and then ask the same question I just answered. My girl asked once if the guy (Australian) was mentally handicapped, all I could say was, "I have no idea".

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
mikewright

I would just give him my best Australian "crocodile dundee" impression and tell him in the same loud tone "Mate, smeg-off you fecking Yank wanker!" and then walk away giggling with a shit-eating smile....

 

 

but hey, what can I say, I'm just a dick..... :biggrin_01:

 

Hi Richard. No wonder we Aussies get such a bad name.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

If you came here to meet expats that seems like quite an odd plan.  I think if you're going to strike up a conversation with an expat because they are an expat, you probably fall into the racist category.  That's not to say I don't have expat friends but I didn't go looking for them because they're expats.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mandingo

I have a mate visiting at the moment and he asked me why all the white guys he says hello to don't really acknowledge him....  I asked him does he speak to random strangers back home?

I don't speak to random strangers in America but.......lets say I was in Texas (God forbid, lol) and I am walking in a supermarket and I see a guy wearing a Seattle Seahawk jersey and I am too. We are both in a hostile land surrounded by people not like us, can't understand a word anybody says and don't really understand their customs. Since we are both in a place far from home and have something in common (Seahawk fans) I would at least give him a nod of the head or say hello, at least. Same thing in the Philippines, we are ducks out of the water and no reason I can see not to at least acknowledge another foreigner with a nod of the head or a hello. You don't need to have a long conversation or give/hear life stories but nothing wrong with being social.

 

When we travel to my place in Washington State and my wife see's another Filipina while out shopping you can bet they are going to say something to each other because there are very few Pinoy's there. Where we live here is different story because 60%+ of the population is Pinoy so they tend to ignore each other, just like us.

 

 

BTW. Not picking on Texas, just using them as an example, I was learned not to make fun of them there "special" type folks :D

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

OP  was cordial and responded but ducked out of drawn out of a 21 question session with a stranger.     Depending on mood and circumstance I would very well act accordingly.    I find the intruder's actions weird for surprising a stranger.  It wasn't as if they were in line together or made eye contact that resulted in a greeting.   I suspect the intruder has more of an agenda than just being friendly. 

I disagree!!!!! some people are just by nature a lot friendlier then others.you do not need  a motive to say hello to some one . I will talk to some one nine times out of ten just because I happen to like people .

 

I have always  owned my own businesses and they have all been service related so I am by nature an out going  person .I love meeting new people and I make my judgements down the road.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
JamesMusslewhite

I love it, this will be my new avatar....

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I  remember that first 21 day trip. All I wanted was to say hello, I'm having a great time how about yourself.  In other words have a short conversation in understandable English. I thought all those white faces were there on short vacation like myself.

Of course now I know that all foreigner  are pervert, scammer or worse.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

A lot of the people who live in the Philippines seem to forget that there are a lot of tourists too. Tourists are often friendly and happy to see another westerner and therefore may say hello. I have been approached many times in the malls and the conversation usually turns to questions on how to get things done and I then refer them to a forum if I do not know the answer. I personally do not understand why so many westerners are not willing to give a person the time of day when approached since not everyone is a scammer and in fact few are. If the person turns out to be a scammer then I have no problem telling them to get lost since I have a mouth, so I am more than willing to allow the westerners the benefit of the doubt that they might actually need some guidance or just friendly chat and are not there to try to rip me off. 

 

Once upon a time many of us were newbies too but many seem to forget that as time goes on. 

 

And as far as when in the US people approaching, yes it happens here also since some are tourists too or many are new to the US.

 

I feel more people should learn to live by the golden rule and they might just end up having a better life, or after life if there is such a thing. 

 

I applaud the OP for him taking the time to write his post even when it was not me who approached him. 

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
JamesMusslewhite

A lot of the people who live in the Philippines seem to forget that there are a lot of tourists too. Tourists are often friendly and happy to see another westerner and therefore may say hello. I have been approached many times in the malls and the conversation usually turns to questions on how to get things done and I then refer them to a forum if I do not know the answer. I personally do not understand why so many westerners are not willing to give a person the time of day when approached since not everyone is a scammer and in fact few are. If the person turns out to be a scammer then I have no problem telling them to get lost since I have a mouth, so I am more than willing to allow the westerners the benefit of the doubt that they might actually need some guidance or just friendly chat and are not there to try to rip me off. 

 

Once upon a time many of us were newbies too but many seem to forget that as time goes on. 

 

And as far as when in the US people approaching, yes it happens here also since some are tourists too or many are new to the US.

 

I feel more people should learn to live by the golden rule and they might just end up having a better life, or after life if there is such a thing. 

 

I applaud the OP for him taking the time to write his post even when it was not me who approached him. 

From personal experience I know that if you meet one of the really screwed up expats, it could complicate your life for years... :biggrin_01: 

Link to post
Share on other sites

My best guess, based off accents is that I'm randomly approached more often, in order, by Australians, Redneck Americans and then by guys from somewhere in the UK (probably the worst accents I've came across).

ACCENTS? everyone has an accent EXCEPT me!! If all someone wants is a little friendly chit-chat in the supermarket, hardware store, coffee bar, etc...what's the harm? Maybe China make me less sensitive because everyone young and old wanted to talk to 'practice their English' so I welcome a brief conversation with someone who I assume actually understands what I say and vice versa....

 

Kindness and a smile are free...

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

From personal experience I know that if you meet one of the really screwed up expats, it could complicate your life for years... :biggrin_01:

Yup James unfortunately it seems you would know for sure. :(

 

 I have met many hundreds of expats over the years because I used to set up get togethers and I have yet to have been ripped off by any. Meeting and getting involved with it two very different things. There are some very nice expats out there and some trash, so sometimes we have to wade through the trash to meet the good. Let  me complete the above statement by saying I am sure some think I fit into the trash category too since we are all very different and many of us may not see eye to eye. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Like lee most of the time they ask a question on how to find something or how to get some where i usually offer them a suggestion of joining living in cebu... if its a military question i offer they ask the RAO and if its personal and or about money i let them ask my wife 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..