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If it was you, i'm sorry


Tinbum

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Let me set the scene. We, the wife and i, are shopping in the SM supermarket yesterday afternoon around 3pm. Quite busy and i'm on cart duty. You know the score, you push, keep up and dont say too mu

I remember having this conversation when we first moved here. I would speak to anyone who looked like a "foreigner" whenever in the malls. Now I usually won't speak to someone in the mall,(some who ha

For crine out loud, where you from and how long you been here are friggin normal questions one ask. Usually I give the nod or a hello to a foreigner and the locals when it seems right. But to bitch ab

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Salty Dog

I started the Thread a few weeks ago you were talking about, but it wasn't me at SM Supermarket. I was at Metro yesterday about the same time. On occasions I have had similar situations, but they don't bother me. I understand that many people feel as you do, so I never impose myself on people I don't know other than a smile or returning a hello.

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Skywalker

Actually I saw the Ayala scammer again last week.  His new patch is top floor, by the cinema.  

 

His opening line is always, 'are you American' and then he goes into his bullshit routine.

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When my wife first came to Oz, I noticed the same behaviour between Filapinas and personally I thought it was kind of odd. Now that I am here I see the same amongst the expats.

 

For f#ck sake do we have to treat each other like that and how hard is to show a little manners and common courtesy or have we become like the locals in public.

 

Don't have to put on the long lost friend bit but how hard is a nod or a simple hello.................

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Let me set the scene.

We, the wife and i, are shopping in the SM supermarket yesterday afternoon around 3pm. Quite busy and i'm on cart duty. You know the score, you push, keep up and dont say too much. We were in the woman's shampoo bit, so brain switches off. Sure, you are still aware of whats going on around you , but not really paying attention. Wife is two aisles over spending 10 minutes choosing what she chooses every time.

I,m away with the fairies, la-la land, dreaming of this and that when BOOM!!!

From behind me comes a very, very loud voice, American accent, "Hey, where ya from" Talk about the rabbit caught in the car headlights!!! I must have jumped about a foot in the air, looked around and there was a big, nice smiley man looking at me.

Quick i thought, "is this the famous Ayala scammer?". "I'm from New Zealand " i quietly replied, thinking that will kill any connection to the US. "How long ya been here?" Mr smiley shouts, or so it seems to me anyway. "Ummm, just over a year" 'The nice man doesn't give up though, "Wow!!I been here 3 weeks, its fun isn't it?"

All he got this time was a sheepish "Yes it is, enjoy your stay" as brain overcame body, turned the cart 180 degrees, and found an invisible secret urgent deed that i had to do in the exact opposite direction!!

 

Wife,returning after the 10 minute hunt to choose the exact same shampoo bottle as every week, said "you were so rude, you didn't respond and practically ran away!" 

 

Now i'm sorry if it was you who talked to me. To be honest you initially scared the sh1t out of me with the faulty volume control. Secondly i don't expect, nor do i really welcome, strangers to come up to me and because we are both white, start talking to me. Maybe thats being a snob, i don't really know. Yes i was thinking of the thread on this a few weeks ago. But in order to be a decent human being i am willing to accept the good intentions.

 

So afterwards i felt a bit guilty. "Please accept my apologies will ya!!??"

lol your quite safe because I don,t believe he frequents the supermarkets .

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OP  was cordial and responded but ducked out of drawn out of a 21 question session with a stranger.     Depending on mood and circumstance I would very well act accordingly.    I find the intruder's actions weird for surprising a stranger.  It wasn't as if they were in line together or made eye contact that resulted in a greeting.   I suspect the intruder has more of an agenda than just being friendly. 

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Davaoeno

how hard is a nod or a simple hello.

 

the fact is he did much more than that !!   he said where he is from and how long he had been here . 

 

However I feel that some peoples approach is so offensive that the defenses instantly go up and I try to avoid them at all cost.   Asking me stupid questions such as how long I have been here is sure to send me on my way . 

 

The only problem I have with the OP is the fact that he appologised 

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The OP did more than I would have done.  In response to the unsolicited "Where you from?", I would have muttered "Elsewhere" and walked away. I don't talk to strangers in a supermarket unless someone is asking for my help.  Any guy expecting a different reaction, is either an idiot or up to no good and either way, I have no interest in getting involved.

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SomeRandomGuy

I have a mate visiting at the moment and he asked me why all the white guys he says hello to don't really acknowledge him....  I asked him does he speak to random strangers back home?

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I usually respond in German, French or Japanese. The conversation doesn't usually go far. 

 

Don't Americans understand the concept of personal space when you are in public?

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HeyMike

For crine out loud, where you from and how long you been here are friggin normal questions one ask. Usually I give the nod or a hello to a foreigner and the locals when it seems right. But to bitch about this guy being friendly... man I hope I never meet any of you while in Cebu; I don't need the negativity. I repect the sentiments of the OP.

 

BTW, southern yanky (yankee) is an oxymoron.

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For crine out loud, where you from and how long you been here are friggin normal questions one ask. Usually I give the nod or a hello to a foreigner and the locals when it seems right. But to bitch about this guy being friendly... man I hope I never meet any of you while in Cebu; I don't need the negativity. I repect the sentiments of the OP.

 

BTW, southern yanky (yankee) is an oxymoron.

Our parents teach us not to speak to strangers without a formal introduction.

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When my wife first came to Oz, I noticed the same behaviour between Filapinas and personally I thought it was kind of odd. Now that I am here I see the same amongst the expats.

 

For f#ck sake do we have to treat each other like that and how hard is to show a little manners and common courtesy or have we become like the locals in public.

 

Don't have to put on the long lost friend bit but how hard is a nod or a simple hello.................

This topic (greetings among expats) has been on this forum before.  I think it falls into the same general category as "Do you like being called 'Hey Joe'".  I am among the members who prefer the anonymity of just blending in to the crowd.  

 

That is difficult for myself where I live as my complexion gives a clue that I'm not from "these parts".  

 

When I lived in Europe, I was able to blend in.  It was only my accent when speaking that gave me away as a foreigner.  

 

I've also lived in Korea for an extended period and again, blending in was not possible.  

 

For myself, I let my body language indicate that I'm not motivated to make the acquaintance of strangers.  I'm not suggesting I choose to be rude or disrespectful.  Rather, I just find it uncomfortable to be grinnin and grippin with someone who chooses to interrogate me about my status. 

 

If I were in a bar, or caught standing in a line with some other look alike foreigner, I would attempt to be gracious and continue a conversation.

 

However, I have found that in most cases, the greeting is friendly, but aggressively prying into my personal life.  I base this observation on many decades of living in countries where I am the outsider.

 

I found the OP had an amusing way of describing the same feelings I have had and similar actions I have taken.  No need for him to apologize, in my view.

 

When I travel to Cebu (for me, the BIG CITY) I often wonder if the foreigners I spot are members of this forum.  However, my curiosity does no compel me to wander over and ask.  I prefer the anonymity.

 

I use the simple nod and hello.  Thanks for the suggestion.

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JamesMusslewhite

I would just give him my best Australian "crocodile dundee" impression and tell him in the same loud tone "Mate, smeg-off you fecking Yank wanker!" and then walk away giggling with a shit-eating smile....

 

 

but hey, what can I say, I'm just a dick..... :biggrin_01:

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Well for me if I am bored sh!tless in a supermarket aisle waiting for my woman to find the latest hit shampoo , I would welcome a chat with anyone as long as he/she was polite and entertaining

 

After my woman returned I would say I better get a move on and take off

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