Do you believe in spanking your child ?

[KID 9,762]

Judge Slaps Mom With 2-Year Spanking Ban

 

 

 

 

When is spanking considered physical abuse? A Virginia judge has ruled that
Felisha Kimble-Tanks, an Annandale dentist, crossed the line when she left
bruises on her 6-year-old daughter's thigh after disciplining her with a belt.
The mom is now banned from spanking for two years.
 

 

The girl's father,
from whom Kimble-Tanks is separated, discovered the bruises in January and filed
a complaint with the Stafford County Sheriff's Office. According to the Fredericksburg Free
Lance-Star, he also said that despite the incident, she was a good mother.
Defense lawyer Mark Murphy pointed out to Yahoo Shine that the father made no
move to get physical custody of the girl even though it would have been within
his rights. He also noted that "the department of social services took no steps
to remove the girl from her mother's home."

 

Prosecutor Tara
Mooney initially charged Kimble-Tanks with child cruelty, a felony. On
Wednesday, the prosecution reached a deal with Murphy to reduce the charges to a
misdemeanor, which will be dropped in two years if she refrains from any type of
corporal punishment. Murphy told Shine, "When she was disciplining the child
that day, she was categorically not engaging in child abuse ... and had no
intention of bruising her."

 

According to Mooney, Kimble-Tanks "crossed the line."
She told the Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star, "Leaving bruises on a child that
young is abuse," not appropriate discipline. Murphy disagreed and said he had
been ready to go to trial if the charges hadn't been reduced and eventually
dropped. "This is a woman who has never been in trouble before and I'm certain
will not be in trouble over the next two years," he told the Fredericksburg Free
Lance-Star. According to the paper, Kimble-Tanks had been punishing her daughter
because of misbehavior at school.

 

Although the statistics are hard to nail down, at least
65% of Americans say they approve of
spanking. Some data shows that more than 80% of parents admit to having hit
their kid at least once. And the comments on the Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star,
which first reported the story, bear that out: People not only do many people
strongly support spanking in general, but also feel that the judge was
overstepping his bounds by prohibiting a mother from physically disciplining her
child for two years.

 

A reader called Trixey wrote, "I grew up with discipline
— I was spanked with a hand, belt, switch, and fly swatter. I do not consider
this child abuse. This is what is wrong with current and future generations now.
There is no discipline anymore — it's considered child abuse. These kids fear no
one and have no respect for anyone. If I were raising a child today, I would
spank it for discipline — counting 1, 2, 3 or putting in time out does not work.
If the judge wanted to punish me for disciplining my child, then he can take it
and raise it."

 

Another commenter, who identified herself as Linda,
agreed: "What is happening here?? When I was young we got hit with leather
belts, switches, wooden spoons, or whatever was in hands reach, and we all
turned out fine. This is the problem with kids today, no discipline, because the
law won't allow it."

 

However, many child development
experts feel that there is no "line" when it comes to spanking. It simply
shouldn't be done at all. "I compare it to drinking alcohol when pregnant,"
University of Manitoba's Tracie Afifi, PhD, who authored a widely reported
2012 study linking physical punishment to mental illness,
told Yahoo Shine. "The recommendation is to not drink at all. Since we don't
know where the line is for safe amounts, the policy recommendation is for women
not to drink any alcohol."

 

Afifi pointed out that it would not be ethical to design
an experiment using children to find the point at which spanking causes lasting
harm. You couldn't spank one child a little bit, and then another a little more,
and another even more, and later observe the results. "It's better to err on the
side of caution," she said.

 

Furthermore, Afifi asserted that the preponderance of
data over the years has linked spanking to serious issues like increased
aggression and mental and physical illness. She also pointed out that there has
been no scientific evidence showing there are benefits to physically punishing
children.

 

The American Academy
of Pediatrics agrees. Last year, they put out a statement that said, "The
use of physical
punishment to discipline children has been linked to a range of mental
health problems and is strongly opposed by [the Academy]…." In the past, they
have argued that spanking can damage
children's self esteem and is not an effective form of discipline in the
long term.

 

The issue is not
whether Kimble-Tanks can spank her daughter after
two years, but whether she should.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 20, 2013 by KID

[broden 57,116]

2 years is a lot of spanking to save up.. she'll be raring to go when the times up

[TorJay 845]

That wasn't spanking.  That was a BEATING. 

 

[thebob 18,260]

Spanking just teaches a child that violence is OK.

[SkyMan 24,381]

That's what butts are for.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKDnviT0FIQ

[broden 57,116]

Spanking just teaches a child that violence is OK.

so does football and rugby 

[TorJay 845]

So does Wile E Cayote and the Roadrunner.

[softail 1,835]

My wife works at a learning center with 3 year olds.  The company no longer allows the teachers to put the kids in "time out", they will be fired if they raise their
voice to the children that are acting up.  With few options to control the kids, for the most part the class is in chaos.  About the only option they have
is to write up a little report for each incident and discuss them with the parent.  Usually the parent says that the child never dose that around the house and that they will talk to the kid about improving their behavior.  

My wife has been working there for 7 years and is about fed up with it and is looking around for a different job.

 

Doug

 

[thebob 18,260]

so does football and rugby 

 

Sport should teach fair play, not that might is right.

[broden 57,116]

Sport should teach fair play, not that might is right.

people should be fair about the difference between a spanking and a beating

[spooks 1,729]

Spanking does not encourage a child to believe that violence is the only way to get ahead.  

 

Warning of consequences can often work when the consequences have already been experienced.

 

My three year old gets his butt slapped, not to bruise him but to evidence that words do have meaning, he is learning!!

 

I attended a place where the use of the Cane was almost mandatory. I do not see any raging pyschos stalking the planet because of it.

 

 There is a significant difference between spanking as a discipline tool against a beating because an adult has lost the plot!!  

 

 

Just my thoughts 

Sport should teach fair play, not that might is right.

Sport teaches that winning is good and no one remembers who came second

  Might is right when they rucked over you to the try line. i never considered that a spanking or a beating it was a good old thrashing

[KID 9,762]

I belive that spanking your child as a form of punishment is absolutely OK

 

I have already raised 2 children as a single parent and I am raising a third now--- 1 of these children had an extream case of ADHD

 

a few things I have learned over the years

 

 

Always try and talk to your child first before you discipline them so that they understand EXACTLY what you expect from them

 

upgrade your punishment in levels and be verbal to the child about what you expect and why you are taking the discipline to another level

 

The THREAT of a spanking can be as useful as the spanking itself------IF THE CHILD KNOWS YOU WILL ACTUALLY SPANK THEM AND NOT JUST RUN YOUR MOUTH !!!

 

When your totally pissed off----WALK AWAY---- the spanking should be related to the discipline in your childs mind---not your ANGER  

 

words can do more damage than you think-so watch what you say in anger

 

Always on the butt---always on the butt--always on the butt

Edited September 21, 2013 by KID

[spooks 1,729]

Never use a weapon for spanking, it should be your hand as if you think it stings it regulates you as well as your child

[hyaku 2,825]

I worked in guidance in education for many years. In Japan they do prefer martial arts instructors in this job. Years ago it was very 'physical', but new directives say 'no touch'. Making them sit (on the floor there) does work. Thing is you have to look at why they did what they did.

 

As a group kids crave attention and being bad is good. I remember Dad saying, "This is gonna hurt me more than you" when he disciplined me. I don't hold it against him. When you grow up you rationalize that if you did something wrong you deserved that spanking.

 

I was beaten once at school by an irrational teacher. Another phys ed guy kicked me in back! I truly hope I did a better job than them. Funny side is on entrance day parents would say, 'Please spank my kid if he miss behaves.

Edited September 21, 2013 by hyaku

[Paul 55,115]

I am a firm believer in spare the rod, spoil the child.

 

With that said, I have two grown children, who I used a paddle on their asses when they were little. I can count, on one hand, the number of times I had to put that paddle on their asses - combined. If you discipline your child(ren), you do not have t discipline your child(ren).