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Is Your Wife Maldita?


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Hate to put personal business on a forum but I'm at my wits end.  My wife is driving me absolutely crazy.  She wants to control every aspect of my life...from how many cokes I drink per day to how many cigs I smoke and everything in between.  She wants to tell me how to dress, what to eat, you name it and she wants to make the decision.  If I don't agree with her she threatens to go back home to the province and take my son with her.  Any advice on how to get her to let me make my own decisions on the little things.  I don't mind her putting her two cents in on the big stuff but hey, I didn't get married at this age to have another mama.  Help me out here.

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well 8 pages of advise from a group of guys who for the most part have had more marriages then cars in their lives 

Cut off that Php 49,000 every month going to her, and I assure you, she will change her tune. 

How she is, I'm sorry to say, is - most likely, because of how much you let her get away with. Somewhere along the way, you gave her too much control.   I believe in the Golden Rule. He who has the

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since you have and want to keep your son and i assume your marriage it's not so black and white but when someone threatens to leave me i help them pack

 

regardless just cause she wants to tell you what to do at every turn doesn't mean you have to listen to her

 

to me it sounds like she is destroying your marriage by taking all the joy and niceness out of it for both of you

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Monsoon

Disregarding for a moment that she is Filipina, any woman plays that card thien ts probably already too late. Based on your post, and the fact that you had to come here to ask how to handle it, I would bet strong that she has had the upper hand for a while. 

 

She has a bull ring already installed in your nose and is quite happy leading you around by it. Does she make any of her demands in front of other people? God help you if she does.

 

What happens if she leaves you and goes back to the province? You could always give  her something she would understand - get yourself a couple of girlfriends and maybe even start a new family on the side.  

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Spot on Paul. Been down the road with too many Kano girls who get too big for their britches. Discovering the Philippines and the attitude of the women their has been such a refreshing change. For example, I wasn't used to being asked permission to do the smallest things. The OP's wife needs to learn her place although sadly her beaveriness wasn't nipped in the bud. I think there's probably a bit more to the story if she's making threats to leave, however.

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how is she gonna support herself if she leaves ? half the time they don,t realise what they are saying until its sort of too late .sounds like you have put up with it for a long time and will find it near impossible to change her ways .what are the ages here if you don,t mind saying ? 

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Why not try some communication with the wife to find out what her problem is?  Hopefully she isn't one of those Filipina's who can't or won't have a serious conversation.

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mikewright

If she's threatening to leave and take your son because you smoke too much, drink too much Coke and wear daggy clothes, there's a real problem. Like Suik says, try communication to find the underlying problem.  It could be something as simple as her having seen your avatar on this forum and be suffering from extreme insecurity.

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Tried to talk to her, but it turns into a shouting match.  She's almost 29 and I'm 58.  Been together for 2 1/2 years.  I mad the mistake one time of telling her I was going to cut back on the cokes to one per day.  Now she acts like I promised her I would do it.  She has an income of 49000p per month until the baby is 19.  So money is not keeping her here.  She makes her demands in front of her family all the time.  She was obviously like this before I met her because her whole family says she's maldita.  She hid it well until she got pregnant.  Then it started coming out.  I don't want to lose her and my son but I can't take much more of this.  She also uses our sex life as leverage to get her way.



If she's threatening to leave and take your son because you smoke too much, drink too much Coke and wear daggy clothes, there's a real problem. Like Suik says, try communication to find the underlying problem.  It could be something as simple as her having seen your avatar on this forum and be suffering from extreme insecurity.

 

 

Avatar...that's her.



If she's threatening to leave and take your son because you smoke too much, drink too much Coke and wear daggy clothes, there's a real problem. Like Suik says, try communication to find the underlying problem.  It could be something as simple as her having seen your avatar on this forum and be suffering from extreme insecurity.

The avatar is her.

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It could be something as simple as her having seen your avatar on this forum and be suffering from extreme insecurity.

 

How do you know the avatar isn't her? :D

 

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Guys, this advice about "talking with her", you must be kidding. Do you really think she respects him enough to talk? At the moment, she believes she has the upper hand. Why she believes this, I don't know. The only thing that comes to mind here is, she may think that taking your child from you will cause you to give in more. Do NOT let her control you in this manner. 


As far as "talking" goes, see my previous post, above. You need to set her straight and set her straight NOW. Do not wait any longer. You have already waited long enough, man.

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Tried to talk to her, but it turns into a shouting match. 

 

if you want to keep the marriage together and it sounds like you do.. instead of talking try writing a letter and then going out or an email or whatever. but let her be alone when she reads it so there is no one to argue with.

 

using sex as leverage well just learn to go with out .. it's just not something you can allow .. even if she wants sex learn to go with out

 

good luck and God Bless .. she may give you no choice ... unless her ego lets her back down if you really help her "leave"

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Tried to talk to her, but it turns into a shouting match.  She's almost 29 and I'm 58.  Been together for 2 1/2 years.  I mad the mistake one time of telling her I was going to cut back on the cokes to one per day.  Now she acts like I promised her I would do it.  She has an income of 49000p per month until the baby is 19.  So money is not keeping her here.  She makes her demands in front of her family all the time.  She was obviously like this before I met her because her whole family says she's maldita.  She hid it well until she got pregnant.  Then it started coming out.  I don't want to lose her and my son but I can't take much more of this.  She also uses our sex life as leverage to get her way.

 

I'm confused. How does she have an income, if you are willing to share, of Php 49,000? Is the child not yours? 

 

If she is making these demands in front of others, that is showing you blatant disrespect. It means you mean very little to her, in her eyes. 

 

Mate, there are far too many women in this world, and CERTAINLY in the Philipppines, for you to continue to put up with this. You are too old to have another momma telling you what to do.

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Bottom line for me here is, I am 47 years old. I am far too old to let a woman dictate to me what I will eat / drink, and how I will live my life. You are older than I am, and certainly do not deserve this. 

 

Go find you a woman who is much better, and who will truly love and respect you. 

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