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But the kid is not my son…


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broden

  

All of it can be a factor.

all of it and then some

 

i have an old friend who is more then like a brother to me .. hadn't seen him for years until a couple years ago honestly i didn't think he was alive any more.. my Mom and Dad were like parents to him (he never called them my mom and dad he just calls them Mom and Dad) he came from a single mother home and she did all she could and raised him to be a great man .. the breaks never went his way though but he is doing all he can his oldest son just completed his first year at Duke on a full ride scholarship with aims of being a lawyer he has two younger kids 15 and 8 and his wife they live in the single worst projects in NY total crime ridden shithole .. but he's raising his kids right and they are very good kids .. he's a bit younger than me and he had a hip go bad and had it replaced recently docs told him in 3 to 5 years the other will likely have to be also. he desperately wants to get out of those projects and he and his family deserve better. so i'm doing my damndest to get him to move down here with me in my house will they can get their feet under them again and find their own place get some jobs and work .. i can't wait hopefully between us we can get this done .. it will be great raising our two families together 

 

if we hadn't lost touch in those years when his mom was moving them all over the city just trying to make ends meet i would probably have him living along side me already ... and i know he would be raising his kids great no matter where ... just like we were raised .. we hit the streets hard but we had great role models around us too close at home

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I say something similar. Anyone can be a father. It takes a special guy to be a daddy (papa). That child doesn't care what color you are. He / She only wants to be loved, provided for, and to feel sec

Blood does not make a father I think you know what the right answer is !!

My wife had two sons when we got together and I could not disagree more with the OPs sentiments. These boys were only 12 and 14 when they came to Oz but have excelled in every way since. They are ter

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tobster

I married a single girl and had one daughter and basically adopted my unwedded sister inlaws son. Not by choice just fate. My wifes sister has married one of my friends and will go to Oz soon to live with him. She will not be taking her son. So I am in a position where I can see both sides of the arguement and I will say this...........I would not actively seek and marry a girl who has a child but by the same token I would not and have not turned my back on one when I could have easily said ....Its not my problem......

 

That said my adopted son is a nightmare around everyone but me.............around me he is calm and patient............go figure

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Knowdafish

I married a single girl and had one daughter and basically adopted my unwedded sister inlaws son. Not by choice just fate. My wifes sister has married one of my friends and will go to Oz soon to live with him. She will not be taking her son. So I am in a position where I can see both sides of the arguement and I will say this...........I would not actively seek and marry a girl who has a child but by the same token I would not and have not turned my back on one when I could have easily said ....Its not my problem......

 

That said my adopted son is a nightmare around everyone but me.............around me he is calm and patient............go figure

My son is mellower when he is around me, compared to his mother, who lets him get away with more. I think it is a matter of respect, and knowing that most men won't put up with as much crap from kids as some women do. This is just one of the reasons kids need both a mother and a father. 

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Mandingo

I've never really understood why anyone would treat someone else's child different than if it were your own, to me it makes absolutely no difference at all if they are biological or not but I do understand why someone would rather not marry a single mother.

 

I have one grown child and my wife has two older teen sons from previous relationships but my wife and I do not have any together, we are too old now and I do not want to spend the next 18 years raising another. Beside if we had one it would lock us into living in the States until the kid was grown and I want to take an early retirement in another 7 or 8 years, no way would I ever consider raising one in  the Philippines if I could help it.

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Canuck Joe

met "my daughter" when she was four, she is 9 now and i love her like crazy....she really loves me and makes me proud, I am a very lucky guy. Its great being her daddy.

 

In the beginning I set parameters when looking for a wife, but when you meet the ONE her child is just part of her. And if one has empathy you can put yourself in that little childs shoes and be the best daddy....not the father that walked after 6 months.

His loss my immeasurable gain.

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Chris24

The sad truth is that there are many single moms in the P.I.  Any foreigner who truly makes a commitment to accept mom and child as one of their own is doing a world of good.

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Paul

My son is mellower when he is around me, compared to his mother, who lets him get away with more. I think it is a matter of respect, and knowing that most men won't put up with as much crap from kids as some women do. This is just one of the reasons kids need both a mother and a father

 

I agree with Knowdafish, Toby (Tobster). They need the good cop and bad cop. I am, most definitely, the bad cop. Filipinas, especially with their first born, often let them get away with murder. Ol' Paul, though, he is a bit strict. The boy is learnin' fast, though. :)

 

 

I've never really understood why anyone would treat someone else's child different than if it were your own, to me it makes absolutely no difference at all if they are biological or not but I do understand why someone would rather not marry a single mother.

 

I have one grown child and my wife has two older teen sons from previous relationships but my wife and I do not have any together, we are too old now and I do not want to spend the next 18 years raising another. Beside if we had one it would lock us into living in the States until the kid was grown and I want to take an early retirement in another 7 or 8 years, no way would I ever consider raising one in  the Philippines if I could help it.

 

I agree completely. A child doesn't care. who his / her parents are. They just need someone to look up to, to respect, to learn from, and to give them direction in their little lives. 

 

I tell ya, knowing I had a vasectomy, until Quinn came into this world, was a major regret for me. Now, I don't care about having gone through it, because I have Little Quinn. 

 

For example, watchin' that little feller while he is sleeping - there is nothing like it in the world. :) 

 

What a great thread, really! 

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i ve been around the philippines over 25 years and seen men take woman with kids and make great lives for themselfs  and the kids.Both taking to the states and also rased in the philippines most times it works sometimes it doesnt. but its great to see them all grown up and calling you dad.. :baby:

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dc3driver

I agree with Knowdafish, Toby (Tobster). They need the good cop and bad cop. I am, most definitely, the bad cop. Filipinas, especially with their first born, often let them get away with murder. Ol' Paul, though, he is a bit strict. The boy is learnin' fast, though. :)

 

 

 

I agree completely. A child doesn't care. who his / her parents are. They just need someone to look up to, to respect, to learn from, and to give them direction in their little lives. 

 

I tell ya, knowing I had a vasectomy, until Quinn came into this world, was a major regret for me. Now, I don't care about having gone through it, because I have Little Quinn. 

 

For example, watchin' that little feller while he is sleeping - there is nothing like it in the world. :)

 

What a great thread, really! 

LOL, I love watching my little girls sleep, 'cause it is temporarily quiet. But it is great having them around, a gift from God.

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Paul

 

a gift from God.

 

Truly.

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jtmwatchbiz

i'm a pushover and our daughter basically does whatever she wants when i'm in charge. however, like her mom, she always gives me the respect i deserve!

 

 

post-4506-0-77001000-1371205798_thumb.jpg

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jtmwatchbiz

xmas time. gotta love the way kids get all excited! kinda off-topic as she's my biological daughter but it's relevant to family enjoyment.

 

me, her 2 aunts and 1 uncle watch her dig in to the presents!

 

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off topic but these pics are also in the folder. new years at marco polo.

 

 

janice with one from her entourage 

 

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her and an obscenely large xmas tree

 

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back home with the kid before midnite to bring in the new year properly!

 

post-4506-0-95029100-1371207957_thumb.jpg

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Monsoon

I have raised other people's kids once and won't do it again, by choice. At least one good thing about doing it in the Philippines is nearly 100% of the time the biological father is never in the picture - so you have that going for you.

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I have a daughter here and everyone knows that she is 100% my daughter, although I am not the biological father.
I have
the daily care of her and has undertaken all legal and financial responsible for her.

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mikewright

It takes a special kind of person to accept another person's child as their own, and I admire those who can do so.

 

My mother-in-law had 19 children, 13 of whom survived early childhood. As Barangay captain, she had responsibilities to her community, and in all the time I knew her she had at least one adopted child living with her. From what I could see, she always gave the same love and attention to the adopted children as she gave to her own biological children, and they loved and respected her in return.

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