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spydoo

Due Diligence for Online Dating

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goldote

Have her use a laptop with slow internet.

See what she's really made of. 

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spydoo

I should not have done this, but when we got serious .. I had a fake FB account with a really handsome type that traveled all over. She passed that test with flying colors. Shut him down cold.

 

I have to admit to doing the same (though of someone who was just a fairly normal type of imaginary bloke, not a superman) with one I had already spent time with in the Philippines after meeting online. It resulted in the end of our relationship. 

 

She actually accused me of having done it to her dozens of times. In other words, it turned out she was chatting with dozens of other men. I was being taken for a fool.

 

I'm still not sure or completely comfortable about the ethics of what I did. Still, it showed me that she wasn't faithful so it saved me from a bad relationship.

 

I think this technique is a sure-fire way to find out if you have a faithful one, but you will have to decide for yourself about the ethics of deceiving someone you probably love to find out if they truly love you.

 

I guess the other way is to use the detective who can be more ruthless since he's not involved personally.

Edited by spydoo
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Dragonladies.org

Or you just have a buddy say 'hi' to her....

Edited by Dragonladies.org
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lamoe

Regan said " trust but verify". Try to get someone here to check her out or review your conversations. They'd be dispassionate and only a little voyeuristic.

 

At one time I had over 40 "contacts". Actually stuck pretty much to truth. Age, picture, not divorced yet, my intentions - no marriage, companion for a few years- WILL NOT SEND MONEY UNTIL I GET THERE SO DON'T ASK.

 

Couldn't handle bitching and jealousy. I told them I was videoing others. Now down to 2. One in Dubai on 2 year contract and the other in Camp 7. Both over 35, still younger than my daughter.

 

W.C. Fields said "you can't cheat an honest man", that also means being honest as possible with yourself. I'm 67 years old, was 6 on a good day, now a 4, luckily still a 5 1/2 - hasn't shrunk yet, why would a 22 year be interest in me if not for how big my wallet is. Over 30 is a different story. They know their appeal is very limited. So you guys can go after the young ones and I'll stick to the ones who are much more appreciative.

 

I didn't respond to anyone under 30 or used cafe except for a Bgirl from the Birdcage. She was upfront about what she did and could carry on an intellectual, complex conversation. If they can't make or understand a joke for me that's a big no no. That has been my primary criteria. Wanted something to do the other 23 hours and 58 minutes in a day. Said 22 hours, got a lot of responses and enjoyment answering that one. I can't talk to their tits. I can but won't get an answer.

 

Will probably barfine Bgirl for a week when I get there and bring her to Cebu . She could have been the inspiration for 50 Shades of Gray. Never asked for money, was happy to find a DOM who enjoyed playing games without playing games.

 

You'd be surprised at how beneficial honesty can be. Guess what, some of the over 30's will be as interested in seeing all of you as you are you see them.

 

Took me a long time and unfortunately didn't learn until after I was married to l "DGAF" don't give a fu$k. Remember the guy in MASH? Melaie who would stand on a corner and say " me lay - you lay?". Got slapped 99 out of 100 but for laid 3 times a week.

 

How to avoid being scammed? Ask yourself is this too good to be true? Have several people look at your conversations and believe what they tell you.

Edited by lamoe

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smokey

Thats great for you but for every one story we find where it has a happy ending there's lots of stories where it didn't.

 

Did your wife ask you to start sending money, or did you do it because you felt it necessary?  I think that may be the key distinction.

 

I wouldn't advise never sending them money if you hadn't met them but the circumstances surrounding it would have to be pretty clear.

she was saving her snack money to buy stamps to send me a letter i offered and it turned out to be a great investment 

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smokey

Smokey is a class act. I like to give the man a hard time because he is thick-skinned old goat who can take it as well as he shovels it out. But over the years I have been on the forum I have learned to trust what he says.

i got all of your guy fooled .. ha ha 

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Hy H

 

keep in touch with them, maintain  friendly relations with them, and then, when the time comes, visit the Philippines and shag the girls. It doesn't really matter if they are a 'scammer' or not if you don't give them anything.

 

 

The Scammer does scammer .   :rose:        All heart mate...all heart.    

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CebuJohn

 

 

Also, I would suggest remembering all that she tells you and watch for inconsistancies in stories later on. It's hard to remember all that she says during chats, so I would suggest keep chat records and reviewing them once in a while.

 

I second this advice.  It has to be a conscious effort.  Also, don't call her on inconsistencies at first unless you have to.  Don't give too much weight to inconsistencies that are within the norm (we all have inconsistencies in our communications over time).  Also, do internet research on her username(s).  I was lucky to find a great girl first time around, but really it was not so much luck as it was paying very close attention over a protracted amount of time.  Most (?) own cellphones, when the time is right, ask her for her cell phone number then call her, it's fun and she should appreciate it?  If you call her a few times over a period of time, you may gain insights that were not evident through internet chat alone.

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steveh2112

i'm planning to visit Cebu in June, looking to find a nice girl. i already opened free accounts on DIA and FCupid and i'm flooded every day with interest and messages. i haven't bothered to pay the subscription yet because i'm not sure i want to get into chats with girls who maybe just scammers, i figure maybe wait until i'm there then if someone sounds good, just meet up for coffee ASAP

but i'm not sure, perhaps there is something to be said for getting some online conversations going a few months ahead of meeting? 

your thoughts?

Edited by steveh2112

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Davaoeno

Start the ball rolling in advance. The more info you get re a person the better.  And quite quickly you will get a good idea about where they are coming from .

 

For sure some will be scammers. For sure some will be ladyboys [ bayots]. For sure some wont trust you and will think you are just there looking for sex .    But every prospector knows that you don't find the gold  unless you dig through a lot of dirt . 

 

 Welcome to online dating !! :P

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the.lone.gunman
10 minutes ago, steveh2112 said:

i'm planning to visit Cebu in June, looking to find a nice girl. i already opened free accounts on DIA and FCupid and i'm flooded every day with interest and messages. i haven't bothered to pay the subscription yet because i'm not sure i want to get into chats with girls who maybe just scammers, i figure maybe wait until i'm there then if someone sounds good, just meet up for coffee ASAP

but i'm not sure, perhaps there is something to be said for getting some online conversations going a few months ahead of meeting? 

your thoughts?

Have fun chatting. Don’t  believe anything u hear and only half of what u see. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

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lamoe
29 minutes ago, steveh2112 said:

i'm planning to visit Cebu in June, looking to find a nice girl. i already opened free accounts on DIA and FCupid and i'm flooded every day with interest and messages. i haven't bothered to pay the subscription yet because i'm not sure i want to get into chats with girls who maybe just scammers, i figure maybe wait until i'm there then if someone sounds good, just meet up for coffee ASAP

but i'm not sure, perhaps there is something to be said for getting some online conversations going a few months ahead of meeting? 

your thoughts?

Date in Asia doesn't require  any paid subscription

Most hotels require overnight quests to provide I.D. - if they are familiar with her  RUN

Also if you have Viber Skype  IMO for cam chats good way to make sure the profile pic is not from 10 years ago

Edited by lamoe

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badian

don't waste too much time chatting to them online before you get to the Philippines. I know of guys that have spent like every waking hour chatting to these internet phantoms months before they got there and they had already signed their own death warrants, as it were. In their minds, they had already married these girls. 

one wonders what they found to talk about. I have been coming to the Philippines for many years and can even hold a conversation in Bisaya now but I struggle to have an actual conversation of any substance with almost all of them. Almost none of them know anything about anything, apart from the jeepney routes, pap television shows, and the quickest way back to their mama's place. 

they're pretty boring basically. Being young women, is the only real card they have in their hand. Just ascertain that they are a girl and not a ladyboy, find out what part of Cebu they live in and/or work, and put their number in your phone book. Leave the endless online chatting to some other sucker. 

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steveh2112
2 minutes ago, lamoe said:

Date in Asia doesn't require  any paid subscription

 

it does to communicate with none paying members, which is all the girls i think. is that right?

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badian

DIA is free and always has been. Since stumbling upon it in 2005 I must have met about 700 girls all over the Philippines, using the site - on occasion 2 or 3 a day and I still use it now. Avoid pay-for sites they are a stitch up. 

 

 

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