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spydoo

Due Diligence for Online Dating

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KennyF

Online dating sites are good for a laugh. And that's about all you can say for them.

My advice is, come here and meet face to face. It's cheap and easy these days.

 

There are signs that are not foolproof but will help you decide.

A 'good' girl will not stay with you on the first few dates. In fact, she probably won't come to your hotel without a chaperone.

A 'good' girl will wear shorts and a T-Shirt to swim. Maybe even a bikini and T-Shirt. but never just a bikini (this is gradually changing).

A 'good' girl will not ask or even hint about money.

A 'good' girl will not send you a photo that she wouldn't show her mother.

And so on.

 

Nothing beats face to face in person.

 

KonGC

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Brucewayne

And give away all our trade secrets? We have developed numerous tricks and traps over the years, but the techniques vary according to what the girl is claiming.

 

If one learns to scrutinize profiles, he will eliminate many scammers just by what they post on their profile. Some glaring red flags that are often misread are;

 

I want a man who is;

 

generous (bottomless pockets)

 

don't mind helping my family (Usually includes 56 cousins and their husbands)

 

financially stable (fat bank account)

 

own home (see above)

 

I want;

 

Go to other country. (green card shark)

 

Be able to help my family (Usually includes 56 cousins and their husbands)

 

Go back to school (at your expense I will attend school forever, start by sending money now)

 

Years ago after reading thousands of profiles I had quite a list of red flags, but have forgotten most of them having not read many profiles for the last ten years. Using them, I made a very wise first pick after a long absence of dating. The result of that choice is now my wife of ten years.   

 

There are exceptions to every rule.

 

You nearly forgot one very important thing.

 

"I don't use YM or cam for anyone because so many guys want to see the girls topless"

 

To me, that is a sure sign the "girl" is either a guy or wants to remain anonymous.

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POTATOMAN

yeah smokey you were lucky, i mean really lucky.i use dia all the time & honestly most of these girls are in it for the cash. i wouldn't call them scammers; if you are stupid enough to send money to a complete stranger with a sob story then i have cancer & my children are starving send me cash hansom old guy. i recently changed my "occupation" in my dia profile from chef to international investments broker, my messages have trebled 

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smokey

yeah smokey you were lucky, i mean really lucky.i use dia all the time & honestly most of these girls are in it for the cash. i wouldn't call them scammers; if you are stupid enough to send money to a complete stranger with a sob story then i have cancer & my children are starving send me cash hansom old guy. i recently changed my "occupation" in my dia profile from chef to international investments broker, my messages have trebled 

well the secret to success is to stop asking for topless pictures ... 

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POTATOMAN

well the secret to success is to stop asking for topless pictures ... 

depends what you call success Smokey

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Jack_be_nimble

I chatted with a bunch of girls online before finding a good one. Many of them would ask for money within 2-4 weeks time. Sometimes even sooner. As far as my gf, we chatted for 8 months. She never asked for money. Even with she was sick and couldn't work (she didn't tell me about this until long after).  We met after 8 months of texts, phone, and webcams.

 

I agree with the advice here regarding money. Also, I would suggest remembering all that she tells you and watch for inconsistancies in stories later on. It's hard to remember all that she says during chats, so I would suggest keep chat records and reviewing them once in a while.

 

Also, it helps your chances of finding a good girl if you avoid the profiles with flashy pro photos and girls wearing sexy clothes. Just don't waste your time on those.

Edited by Jack_be_nimble
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Scruffydog

Thats great for you but for every one story we find where it has a happy ending there's lots of stories where it didn't.

 

Did your wife ask you to start sending money, or did you do it because you felt it necessary?  I think that may be the key distinction.

 

I wouldn't advise never sending them money if you hadn't met them but the circumstances surrounding it would have to be pretty clear.

 

I had lots of Pinay friends here in the states, who talked me into meeting a girl on line. I met my now wife of two years on line. She never asked for a dime, but about 3-4 months before her Visa was to be ready I asked her to stop working so we could chat at night when I was off work. I had already been over once when I did this. I sent about 350 per month, then of course the money for plane tickets etc.

 

I have to say that after 2 years it was the best thing I ever did. we are happy content and she never asks for money to be sent home, although I do it on my own sometimes. I  blessed with so much and if I can send a few hundred here and there and it helps so much why not. I think they joy I get from doing it is more than the enjoyment of the people who receive it.

 

As to my search. If the had hoochie pictures on line.They got marked off the list. If they talked about money right away, off the list. I looked for a nice simple girl with old school values and I got it. Could not be happier and we will both be moving back to Cebu in the near future. I also set a maximum age gap of 10 years.

 

I also know some people who brought over a spouse on a K-1 about the same time. The are still cruising, but every picture that is posted on Facebook, they are at a club or shopping. 27 year age gap. You know it's coming.

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Scruffydog

I chatted with a bunch of girls online before finding a good one. Many of them would ask for money within 2-4 weeks time. Sometimes even sooner. As far as my gf, we chatted for 8 months. She never asked for money. Even with she was sick and couldn't work (she didn't tell me about this until long after).  We met after 8 months of texts, phone, and webcams.

 

I agree with the advice here regarding money. Also, I would suggest remembering all that she tells you and watch for inconsistancies in stories later on. It's hard to remember all that she says during chats, so I would suggest keep chat records and reviewing them once in a while.

 

Also, it helps your chances of finding a good girl if you avoid the profiles with flashy pro photos and girls wearing sexy clothes. Just don't waste your time on those.

 

You sound like we followed the same path. I felt kind of bad being so skeptical and to be honest  administering a few tests to see if I could find inconsistencies, but I think you have to .  

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goldote

You're funny.  You said nothing of marriage.  What are your intentions Spydoo?
You want to help friends find 'good' girls?
It depends on what you want.  That's the hardest part.
It's difficult to make an informed decision with a feeling of urgency on both sides of the relationship.
Many guys marry during the process of simply sewing wild oats.
I know old guys who just want the image of a relationship.
They have no intention of ever leaving the chair in front of their laptop.
They'd rather give a pretty girl their extra money than give it to family or church.
Many girls know they're just being set up to be used.
So why not use back?
I've heard sophisticated girls chastise young simple girls for only having one online boyfriend.
Some girls are great even though they can't use a computer...you're talking with their nephew.
Many of the girls are so good hearted that many of the guys do well by simply dumb luck.
Due diligence should include in country visits.  Family is a biggie. 
Test integrity, look for discipline, personality disorders and spiritual responsibility.
Or are you into being a rescuer or entertainment director?

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Thelandofku-an!

In order for the big head to rule over the smaller one I would advocate turning off images in your browser settings

until such time as you are satisfied you found the right partner, true blindness increases perception!

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udonthani

just ignore all requests for money as if they never happened. The real scammers will then ultimately ignore you. But the largest pool of Filipinas onliners, are neither out-and-out scammers OR pure-as-the-driven-snow. They are something in between. Meaning that they will not turn down any benefaction out of hand. In fact almost none of them will. How many women did you ever know in the west, that ever turned down a gift.

 

just ignore any requests for financial assistance, keep in touch with them, maintain  friendly relations with them, and then, when the time comes, visit the Philippines and shag the girls. It doesn't really matter if they are a 'scammer' or not if you don't give them anything.

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POTATOMAN

just ignore all requests for money as if they never happened. The real scammers will then ultimately ignore you. But the largest pool of Filipinas onliners, are neither out-and-out scammers OR pure-as-the-driven-snow. They are something in between. Meaning that they will not turn down any benefaction out of hand. In fact almost none of them will. How many women did you ever know in the west, that ever turned down a gift.

 

just ignore any requests for financial assistance, keep in touch with them, maintain  friendly relations with them, and then, when the time comes, visit the Philippines and shag the girls. It doesn't really matter if they are a 'scammer' or not if you don't give them anything.

ha ha who said romance is dead

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Sven
5; The second time her grandmother dies, dump her

 

Oh no, she just lost both of her lolas and then you are dumping her too..?!

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Sven

Invest the money in helping some of heartbreaking cases of disabled kids here and by doing so perhaps meet someone with a heart too!

 

Just make sure the disabled kid you help is at least 18, or else by doing so you might meet someone with authority too...

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