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Monsoon

I think, you have acted naively, but some questions:

was your marriage ceremony officially in the city hall and done by a real judge?

have the marriage certificates been approved? or all was a joke and you have been cheated?

and is or will the marriage be registered at the NSO?

 

btw - when the money is gone, the love will also go, sometimes even earlier. 

 

That's a good point actually, if it hasn't been filed with the NSO and it were me I'd be seeing who I had to pay to prevent it from ever getting there.

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After I read your post i didnt know whether to laugh or to cry !  Your profile says that you never visited the Phil, so I assume you came just the one time, met her and instantly married her ???   W

If it isnt too embarrassing perhaps you could start a thread detailing just how you got yourself into this mess.  It might be one of the most informative threads on the whole forum and could help thou

Honestly..........I do not see a happy ending for you in this. If she is already telling you that your a "bad provider" then it is a sign of bad things to come. You are being generous at $350 a month

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USMC-Retired

He should be in contact with local civil registrar as that is the only place you can actually stop it. It takes them about a week before they actually file it depending needs such as signatures. They also log it into the book there. Once it has left to manila for NSO recording in the national data base you are SOL. I would not count on it being illegal I would call that office and see the status.

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18,000p;  I can't see the need for so much money. I am beginning to feel I made a big,big mistake.

 

Good luck to you whatever the outcome....

 

many here live on 4000 a month, so 18,000 is outrageous....

 

I'd suggest you re-think bringing her to the states unless you feel like

supporting her and her family--or--you can put your foot down and survive'll

the wrath she'll lay on you.  If she's nagging now when she's here and you

there, I can only imagine what it'll be like when you are together...

 

Curious, how long did you know her before marrying?

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Wombat No More

It would be a lot longer than a week mate since it was at the local office. He has paid at least one amount of $350, but we don't know how long he has been doing that... If you Sailor, want to try and see if this will work out between you and her, I would dramatically reduce the amount of cash you are sending, right now... Just an idea but if you explain to her that you are very upset about your amount of about P14.5K per month being criticised and you know that a Provincial Province village life would cost "bugger all" to live in per month. Tell her that she will never control the income at all, especially after this demand. Tell her also, that here monthly is now reduced to (say?) $75. And that maybe she will not get any for the next 3 months coz she's had too much now.

 

See what reaction this has, without telling her the relationship is right on the edge of breaking up permanently. You can tell her, or not, the latter when you see her reaction to the news. P3k is plenty to support one person in a Provincial village situation for their monthly "needs"... Don't be conned anymore.

 

My building workers, living here in Cebu,got a normal salary of P305 per day, 6 days a week and they all had themselves and their family to support on that and pay for their transport to and from... Go figure hey, and who's foolin who. You're being played, do some playing back... Or, do as the others suggest here mainly, and that is to cut your losses and disappear from a possibly shit future...

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wondersailor

Those of us old enough know relationships are seldom simple or easy. Damn people are complex ! The money issue was just the   latest issue, the straw that set me off. If my instincts didn't tell otherwise, I could also come to the conclusion that she was trying to chase me away. More likely, she might just be scared by the prospect of moving away from family and friends to an unknown land with a guy she really doesn't know that well. By the way, she is 29, only one serious relationship a number of years back where the guy was also running around on her (known as fact), good English, far from dumb and, of course, quite the beauty :rose:.  

My decision is to lay low, not talk to her for a while and see what happens. A lot of times the best thing is to do nothing. Maybe in this case time will tell. If not, draw things to a close.

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Dude--run while you have a chance cuz if you bring her to the states--she will try to take everything--maybe even try and get you put in prison on false abuse charges---stop the paperwork---STOP everything --hire a lawyer and get out of the situation

 

Take it from a guy who escaped the devil by the skin of his teeth----freaking RUN !!!!!!

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KennyF

This is where that song comes in...

 

You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them.

Know when to walk away, know when to RUN.

 

And just by the way, can you decide to get married in RP and get it all done in just two weeks?

 

KinPP

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18,000 pesos per month, in a small village? That's like saying the average pay for a McDonalds employee is 10,000$ per month. What a liar she is!

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Mandingo nailed it shut. If you got married over here in the Phills than no Us Government agency will oficially recognize it without your signature...noterized...and blah blah blah...step away and start over. I think Paul has a service that will look into any concerns that you have.

Good luck dude but you have to make your own decision.

Honestly..........I do not see a happy ending for you in this. If she is already telling you that your a "bad provider" then it is a sign of bad things to come. You are being generous at $350 a month and she should be happy to be getting that.

 

 

Stop her visa process and start thinking about cutting your loses before it's too late. I think you already know what needs to be done.

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SkyMan

He get a fairly cheap divorce in the US and file it with the NSO and then both can find their next fling.

well call me a softie but i was thinking of HER finding another husband without an annulment

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SkyMan

Here you go.  Don't talk to her for a week or two.  Then call her and tell you have bad news.  Your business downsized and you're out of work.  You've spent the last 2 weeks trying to do damage control but to no avail.  You have almost no savings left and won't be able to send any support and have to find a job to pay your rent or get evicted. (Of course that means you have no money for visa processing.)  As time goes by your situation worsens.  At some point tell her there just aren't any jobs for your specialty.  Finally, after maybe a month of this, take 2-3 months off from work and just fly here showing up unannounced.  Tell her you only had enough money for a 1way ticket and maybe a month's worth of rice and fish and can you move in with her family?  You should learn a lot over the next month.  I wonder how her family would feel about supporting you?

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RogerDuMond

 

If you got married over here in the Phills than no Us Government agency will oficially recognize it without your signature...noterized...and blah blah blah...step away and start over.

 

Not sure what you are trying to say here, but if the marriage is legal in the Philippines, it is recognized as legal in the US.

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SkyMan

Not sure what you are trying to say here, but if the marriage is legal in the Philippines, it is recognized as legal in the US.

I think he's saying the US doesn't know about it which is true.  He could go to say Thailand and marry again, but I think eventually it would catch up to him.  Not a good choice or advice.

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RogerDuMond

 

you married in the philippines ? Not the us ? An annulment is closer to what i think if you plan on trying again and if not better set your sights on Thailand as you sure can not marry in the philippines again without an annulment but then i might be wrong

 

If he acquires a divorce in the US both can remarry in the Philippines. There is no prohibition on a foreigner remarrying in the Philippines after a divorce. He would not be allowed to marry in the Catholic church without an annulment, but that could be obtained in the US. She also could remarry, because Executive order #227 amending Executive order #209 (family code) allows a Filipino citizen to remarry if the divorce was obtained by the foreign spouse.

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RogerDuMond

I think he's saying the US doesn't know about it which is true.  He could go to say Thailand and marry again, but I think eventually it would catch up to him.  Not a good choice or advice.

No not a good choice because if it ever became public knowledge, he could be charged in the US with bigamy.

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