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smokey

I don't want to make a lot of assumptions then offer advice that may be way out in left field because of lack of knowledge(none of which is my business)....but I strongly recommend you read CLOSELY) the legal obligations embodied in the paperwork for the visa that you are processing for this woman.  And think a lot about what you have read.

 

In a sense the expression "signing away your life" is not inappropriate to describe the sworn statement that you will be required to sign that you will provide financial support for her and that any and all taxpayer funds that have to be dispensed to her must be repaid by you....that would include all sorts of social welfare benefits that the law would entitle her to if she dumped you one day after arriving in USA .....or one year.....or ten years, if still not USA citizen.  Once she sEts foot on USA soil she has established residence(although some states require several months) which allows her to file divorce papers with any shyster lawyer who will take her case with her paying from proceeds of the plundering the court will render of you.  SPACING MESSED UP...SEE BELOW.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some will think she is dropping the hammer too early....the jaws of the trap have not entirely closed yet....she is still offshore and you still have a major option to consider.

 

Hopefully her English is o.k. and this is not a language miscommunication issue.

 

Ken

i have a friend in texas who married a women from russia she left him after 2 weeks and filed an abuse charge and he has had lots of problems with her applying for every benefit she can while claiming he abused her so she had to leave she now lives with a Russian lawyer who is a us citz... go figure..

Edited by smokey
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After I read your post i didnt know whether to laugh or to cry !  Your profile says that you never visited the Phil, so I assume you came just the one time, met her and instantly married her ???   W

If it isnt too embarrassing perhaps you could start a thread detailing just how you got yourself into this mess.  It might be one of the most informative threads on the whole forum and could help thou

Honestly..........I do not see a happy ending for you in this. If she is already telling you that your a "bad provider" then it is a sign of bad things to come. You are being generous at $350 a month

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Davaoeno

smokey -   i have a friend in texas who married a women from russia she left him after 2 weeks and filed an abuse charge and he has had lots of problems with her applying for every benefit she can while claiming he abused her so she had to leave she now lives with a Russian lawyer who is a us citz... go firgure..

 

 

sounds like everyone got fecked in this deal !!

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Skywalker

 

Me dost think you are a sucker... Don't stay one...

 

That's pretty harsh - you are on your third attempt?   :rose:

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wondersailor

Thanks guy. I know what needs to be done. Less than 2 weeks of marriage must be some kind of record. It also appears in my home state (South Carolina) I am going to have to wait a year (non cohabitation) before divorcing her. A very sad day indeed.At least no visa application was filed.If anyone can think of a quicker way out, I'm all ears.

Again , thanks guys

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Davaoeno

That's pretty harsh - you are on your third attempt?   :rose:

:bighug:  :bighug:  :bighug:

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smokey

Thanks guy. I know what needs to be done. Less than 2 weeks of marriage must be some kind of record. It also appears in my home state (South Carolina) I am going to have to wait a year (non cohabitation) before divorcing her. A very sad day indeed.At least no visa application was filed.If anyone can think of a quicker way out, I'm all ears.

Again , thanks guys

you married in the philippines ? Not the us ?  An annulment is closer to what i think if you plan on trying again and if not better set your sights on Thailand as you sure can not marry in the philippines again without an annulment  but then i might be wrong 

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The amount of money is not the issue. The fact that she insists that you should be paying what ever amount is the problem. A good Filipina would not talk the way she is talking to you. Even if some one else is putting these thoughts into her head. I am sending my wife a fair amount of money each month but it is all my doing. If she ever once demanded it I would stop all money right away.

 

If my wife ever talked to me the way yours is talking to you I would be heart broken but would turn her loose. I feel for you as you are in a position that I hope to never find myself in. Being married and loving some one is not about how much money you can give each other. She should still be thinking about how happy she is with you after 2 weeks of marraige. Sounds like it is a business deal to her and I would tell her that.

 

By the way $350 a month is not too much to send as she is your wife and you should only want the best for her. But her expecting it is a big no no. Also if you do decide to keep sending her money you should keep tabs on where the money is going ( bills, food ect.. )

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tokyoman

At least for me and I need some serious advice. I married a girl in the PI less than 2 weeks ago and am back in the US. I had really wanted this to work but now I have my doubts. She told me that all of the men in her family turn their complete paychecks over to their wives.I just sent her $350 US for this month and am being told that "I am a bad provider". She would not give me a monthly figure but said the average pay per month in her small farming community is 18,000p. I tried to explain about the visa, air and preparation costs for her to come to the US but to no avail. Am I wrong? She lives at her parents house and I can't see the need for so much money. I am beginning to feel I made a big,big mistake. It has been many, many years since I've allowed a female this close to me and I don't know where to turn. For those guys who live in the PI I could really use some advice.

Thanks

Start sending only 5000 pesos a month and see how she reacts

 

If she puts up a stink and starts complaining, tell her that is all you have to give. Perhaps suggest that she do a sideline business like a SARI SARI or tell her to go to the nearest city and start selling produce from her farm.

 

If her attitude gets worse then tell her you are NOT compatible, stop payments  and ask for an annulment

 

There are lots of girl here in PI that just want your love

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Skywalker

I am curious, did you meet her before you got married?

 

Is this an internet romance?

 

How old are you, is this your first marriage?



 

ask for an annulment

 

On what grounds?  Don't you understand how seriously marriage is taken here?  You think the OP can get a divorce here just like that?

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BossHog

All the "boots on the ground" information from the guys here is correct about the money needs in her situation.

 

That being said, you did MARRY the girl and that entails responsibility on your part.

 

While you could fairly easily walk away from this, she won't be able to, especially if wed in a small farming village.

 

Perhaps, you splashed out your hard earned savings on a nice wedding and the family thinks you're wealthier than you are.

 

She's obviously exaggerating for whatever reason, but financial discussions are part of matrimony and cultural misunderstandings can be bridged over time.

 

You liked her enough to wed so spend some time communicating about your finances and expectations and listen to hers, as well.

 

It's not necessarily a lost cause by any means and may just be growing pains in a relationship that could well turn out to be the happiest of your life.

 

Give it a chance. And some time.

 

Wishing you the best

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tokyoman

 

On what grounds?  Don't you understand how seriously marriage is taken here?  You think the OP can get a divorce here just like that?

 

Hey if you married a girl who then suddenly demanded that much you would think you were being used....it seems obvious that she married for money....he needs to cut his losses....but as I said see how she reacts first to lower payments

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Skywalker

 

Hey if you married a girl who then suddenly demanded that much you would think you were being used....it seems obvious that she married for money....he needs to cut his losses....but as I said see how she reacts first to lower payments

 

I'm not saying I don't agree, but you do seem terribly naive about divorce laws here in RP.

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Davaoeno

you married in the philippines ? Not the us ?  An annulment is closer to what i think if you plan on trying again and if not better set your sights on Thailand as you sure can not marry in the philippines again without an annulment  but then i might be wrong 

I hadnt read Boss Hogs post when i  wrote this:

 

of course the annulment will cost you 200,000 php and take you a couple of years. Better get a quicky divorce somewhere else and cross the Phil off of your list 

 

I am surprised that you decided based on a few posts to throw in the towel. Dont you love this woman ? Isnt your relationship worth fighting for ? Maybe she is just being controlled by the money grubbing parents [ common here ] and she really has no desire to rob you - and truly loves you .  Surely something went down between the 2 of you before you married her ???

 

 

You are already married to her so you dont have a lot to lose by going back to the Phil and actually getting to know her.  But do not spend time with her where her family lives - get the hell out of Dodge to neutral territory and discover if there is something there worth saving

Edited by Davaoeno
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tokyoman

I'm not saying I don't agree, but you do seem terribly naive about divorce laws here in RP.

There is not such thing as divorce.....it's an annulment

 

He will need to keep a record of her demands and conversations.......

 

The ball is in her court.....if she can not accept a lower payment then he will see it though her attitude

 

If they can not see eye to eye then there are your grounds

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