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MarinePride

Why on EARTH would you stay here if you are so unhappy?

 

Most likely I'm going to go back in February, after my annual report. The kids and wife are adjusting, but this place is leaving a lot to be desired from my perspective. Working does fill a necessary void in a persons day, whether you want to believe it or not. If I'm not earning money, it just bothers me, period. Besides, I need to see for myself how things have changed in the 3 years I'll have been gone from the USA. If I can't get a job as a long haul trucker, I'll know the country is screwed beyond all hope.

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cebubird

Regarding building the house, you can always lease for long term a piece of property and build house on it. I have known several people who have done this.

Im liked the one guy who doesnt too much care for it here, and Im one of those "old" 50+ guys. If someone asked me what I liked about living here, I frankly couldn't think of one thing.

From my observations after 2+ years here, it seems to me that the guys who enjoy it most are the super wealthy married guys with families who live in gated communities, oceanfront mansions, mountaintop mansions, or the single drunks who just live here for the easy sex and no responsibilities.

I am married with family and live in country, and I guess only reason we don't go back, is we don't have money to start over.

I am a Christian guy(not religious)who came here with hopes of trying to be a blessing to as many people as possible. I began my effort by going to the local priest to see what the catholic religion did for the people and how I could help. He was very frank in telling me they didn't do anything to help the people. I was somewhat taken aback at this, but now I understand why--they spend all their millions/billions of pesos on parties and celebrations, and parades

I am sure if I could be involved in a worthwhile endeavor to occupy some of my time, then I wouldn't dislike things/people here so much.

At any rate I admire you(the OP)and am sure that given the dedication and desire you appear to have, as well as finances to back you, that you can indeed accomplish your goals.

God bless you in your endeavor!

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Skywalker

I guess I am happy being an oldie - Jesus wept! 50's is NOT old! Age is a state of mind...well until your body starts to feck up on you!

 

I hope I am quite a few years from that. I retired when I was 41. I felt very comfortable doing it, getting out of the London rat race and starting a new life of idle contemplation, and various other things that just happened to make me money as a by-product of doing something I love.

 

Can money buy you happiness? Well, I don't know about that, but it can buy you a very hot car to park next to it! :dance:

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I guess I am happy being an oldie - Jesus wept! 50's is NOT old! Age is a state of mind...well until your body starts to feck up on you!

 

I know that. I don't even consider my dad old and he's 62, but it's still getting on a bit, just like you creaking bones 50's guys. (insert silly smiley here).

 

I don't see what the fuss is about, but then I can be happy with just my home gym, a pc, internet, plates of good (non-filipino) food, the sun, my dobermann's and the woman who answered my hopes and dreams in every respect. Some people need to be on the go all the damn time and really should have never given up work in the first place. My dad would be one of those, but he plans to keep running his 35 year business until he's 70. Loves it that much. I retired and been on a fixed income for over 5 years since the age of 32, and other than some initial heavy drinking when I first arrived in '07 I'm healthier, more content and happy than ever.

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A lot of good thoughts here. To headshot, you’re spot on about the limitations of country living. The most important thing for me is staying active or as Eric Erickson would say being generative. For me life is about much more than simply staying busy, I think everyone also has a need to contribute to whatever society they live in. Many people neglect this need. I have never met a depressed philanthropist. Therefore, I will definitely live in the city.

 

For me the hardest part was the let-down of retirement here in the states. I had this illusion that I’d pick a city, become active in the community, and everything would turn out fine. Well, it hasn’t. I really can’t relate to the vast majority of my cohorts here in the states. Most people I’ve met have never traveled, and have no interest in the outside world. Dating here is, in a word, horrible. I don’t even think I need to elaborate on this. I have pretty much stopped even trying which is another sad state of affairs.

 

I initially went back to school in order to work for the VA (veteran’s affairs) since the gold standard to get a job counseling vets is a masters in social work. However, after some serious soul searching I realized that I do not want to live in the states. I had this myopic vision that I could only do social work in the states. Thanks to one of my mentors, she pointed out that I could do social work anywhere in the world.

 

I have been encouraged by the responses. I think we should use the word “routine” rather than “work.” I really believe that routine is very healthy and we in fact need it. When I worked with the elderly, the most important thing I did for them was to establish an active routine. I myself fail to heed my own advise, which is my downfall quite frankly in many areas. I sometimes want to smack myself because I have this plethora of knowledge but I don’t implement it in my own life.

 

But I’d still like to hear more about the expat community there. Is there a tight knit community of ex-pats or for the most part do most people pretty much keep to themselves and their immediate family? I understand that many of you are close and may not want to say disparaging things on this board but a few hints my way would be nice.

 

Also, what about the dating scene for me? Like I said previously, I don’t want to marry but I don’t want to live alone either. Would it be difficult for me to meet an older lady to date/live with or would I have to marry her? I’m not going to date younger women (under 35) because I know enough about the culture not to do that, i.e., they will certainly want to marry and have children.

Edited by zulethe
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freespirit
I also taught English in Korea for a couple of years and can speak OK Korean so the Korean language school would be an awesome fit.

 

That is a big advantage for you then. Just an additional info: Peak season for language schools here are the months from July-August and December-February.Most schools, on these months, look for part-time teachers...that is if you want to get hired faster and do not want to teach full time.

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RogerDat

Greetings! Back again. You said you worked at the VA, are you a VA disabled vet? If you have 10% service connected, you can get treatment, and meds here from VA. I recive over $ 1000 per month in meds from them, so it is a great advantage registering in the US before coming here.

 

I have been here almost 8 years, and have not found a large community of expats on Mactan. Most forigners I have seen here seam to be very privacy oriented.

What visa will you use to live here? I am married, thats why I am here to be near wife's family for her. I am not familair with an single visa.

If you really want to help locals here, teaching them English for free is a very wonderful help. They really need that skill to get a decent job. DO NOT get into loaning money, or falling for the "sad storie". They are masters at it. I have met people here who tell me their problems, and request assistance, and later find they are better of finachaly than me. It is in their nature. If you arew not here to give them money, WHY are you here, you need to visit, spend money, and then go home. That is in Cebu. In Manila, the people are more western in thought, and in fact in Danao city, north Cebu, it is as diffrent from Mactan, and Cebu city, as it is Mactan and the US. Their public market floors are clean, and look to have been waxed! They did not approch me at any time there with sad stories, and begging, and I never heard "joe' from anyone. It felt weired at times while there.

Big city's the world over are the same I think, but they seam to take it to the extream in Cebu proper.

If you are or are not religious, I would advise you to try attending a Christian Church, Baptis, or the like, they will welcome you. Not too good a source for a shack job, but you might decide to marry if you find the right one. Good luck, and do not forget asking for the PM privelage on the forum as I alone will keep you busy with MY problems!

Edited by RogerDat
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Greetings! Back again. You said you worked at the VA, are you a VA disabled vet? If you have 10% service connected, you can get treatment, and meds here from VA. I recive over $ 1000 per month in meds from them, so it is a great advantage registering in the US before coming here.

 

I have been here almost 8 years, and have not found a large community of expats on Mactan. Most forigners I have seen here seam to be very privacy oriented.

What visa will you use to live here? I am married, thats why I am here to be near wife's family for her. I am not familair with an single visa.

If you really want to help locals here, teaching them English for free is a very wonderful help. They really need that skill to get a decent job. DO NOT get into loaning money, or falling for the "sad storie". They are masters at it. I have met people here who tell me their problems, and request assistance, and later find they are better of finachaly than me. It is in their nature. If you arew not here to give them money, WHY are you here, you need to visit, spend money, and then go home. That is in Cebu. In Manila, the people are more western in thought, and in fact in Danao city, north Cebu, it is as diffrent from Mactan, and Cebu city, as it is Mactan and the US. Their public market floors are clean, and look to have been waxed! They did not approch me at any time there with sad stories, and begging, and I never heard "joe' from anyone. It felt weired at times while there.

Big city's the world over are the same I think, but they seam to take it to the extream in Cebu proper.

If you are or are not religious, I would advise you to try attending a Christian Church, Baptis, or the like, they will welcome you. Not too good a source for a shack job, but you might decide to marry if you find the right one. Good luck, and do not forget asking for the PM privelage on the forum as I alone will keep you busy with MY problems!

 

I have to say that was probably one of the most honest, upfront information that I've ever been supplied with from this kind of forum. Seriously man thank you so much for your honest assessment, I really learned a lot from your post.

 

Namely, I never would have thought to distinguish people's attitudes in different parts of the country i.e., Manila/Danao vs. Cebu. I've only heard totally negative things about Manila. I've never been to any other part of the Phils other than Cebu. I was so impressed with the infrastruture there (for a third world country) that I never considered things that you posted about. You really opened up a can of worms that I now need to consider. This is exactly the kind of feeback that I need and I really appreciate you taking the time.

Edited by zulethe
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BFHammer

Most likely I'm going to go back in February, after my annual report. The kids and wife are adjusting, but this place is leaving a lot to be desired from my perspective. Working does fill a necessary void in a persons day, whether you want to believe it or not. If I'm not earning money, it just bothers me, period. Besides, I need to see for myself how things have changed in the 3 years I'll have been gone from the USA. If I can't get a job as a long haul trucker, I'll know the country is screwed beyond all hope.

 

Screw the long haul. Go up to North Dakota and haul water or oil for 150k a year. More if you own the rig. Work there 6 months then go back.

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MarinePride

Screw the long haul. Go up to North Dakota and haul water or oil for 150k a year. More if you own the rig. Work there 6 months then go back.

 

All of those jobs require one year of recent experience, underline RECENT, of which I do not have. Unlike most other occupations, if you quit driving and go back, you are now a rookie again and need to be retrained. There is a tremendous shortage of housing due to the fracking/oil boom in ND and that just complicates the problem even more. I've looked into this and it's not hard to do, thanks to Google.

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SkyMan
Also, what about the dating scene for me? Like I said previously, I don’t want to marry but I don’t want to live alone either. Would it be difficult for me to meet an older lady to date/live with or would I have to marry her? I’m not going to date younger women (under 35) because I know enough about the culture not to do that, i.e., they will certainly want to marry and have children.
Yes, I imagine you can find whatever you want there without difficulty. Not sure why you'd be so against marriage as that may be a stumbler. One problem with the older ladys is that most have been married and probably still are. Even if they've been separated a long time, bad things can happen if he finds out like you ending up dead. Avoid the dating sites. Waste of time really.
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BFHammer

All of those jobs require one year of recent experience, underline RECENT, of which I do not have. Unlike most other occupations, if you quit driving and go back, you are now a rookie again and need to be retrained. There is a tremendous shortage of housing due to the fracking/oil boom in ND and that just complicates the problem even more. I've looked into this and it's not hard to do, thanks to Google.

Google isn't everything, boots on the ground is. I'm relocating my company up there. If you've got a pulse you can get hired as long as you hold a license. My cousin hasn't driven in 3 years sitting around on a disability check and has standing offers from 3 companies if he'd get off his ass.

 

Drive through Williston and none of the spanking new buildings have parking lots because there are no drivers to haul it. An entire subdivision went up in Minot without roads just to get houses up for people to live in.

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MarinePride

Google isn't everything, boots on the ground is. I'm relocating my company up there. If you've got a pulse you can get hired as long as you hold a license. My cousin hasn't driven in 3 years sitting around on a disability check and has standing offers from 3 companies if he'd get off his ass.

 

Drive through Williston and none of the spanking new buildings have parking lots because there are no drivers to haul it. An entire subdivision went up in Minot without roads just to get houses up for people to live in.

 

It all sounds good and I am going back to Virginia in February. I'm gonna work my ass off and then comeback in time for my annual report in Feb. of 2014. Maybe I need to burn myself out with work so that I can appreciate it here a bit more. Boredom has been a tough hurdle and I'm not the type who can sit around and waste away thinking to myself, "This is really it for me".

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RogerDat

Greetings! I forgot the most inportant thing you mentioned, about not looking for young girl.

Well, most girls here who are close to your age are grandmothers somtimes, and have 5-8 kids already. I do not think you want a little army, so the most you will find here is a 25-30 year old who is a church member, teacher, or nurse.

Not too many older who do not have a connection of some kind. THEY ARE looking for a husband!

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  • 2 months later...

Hello,

 

has anyone heard from zulethe lately? I might have some information for him -

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