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Questions For The Veterans


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I'm retired military American 45 years old man and I will someday retire to the Phils.

 

I'm really concerned about fully retiring since I've seen a lot of veterans go down hill fast after retirement as well as my fathers rapid demise after his retirement. Sudy after study have confirmed this trend, but I'm not here to argue this I just know full retirement would be horrible for myself.

 

So how do you stay busy? Can I get a job regardless of the money? Can I find an older Philippino gal who would want to cohabitate but not marry?

 

I don't want to live like a hermit, yet I also want to live in the country.

 

I would like to build a house for a family with the intent on being able to live there as long as I wish. I'm thinking if I could help out the family and enjoy the safety and sense of belonging that would go along with living with a Philippino family.

 

I have no family to speak of in the states and am doing well financially. I would have no problem spending between 20 to 30 thousand to build a small house for a family as long as we got along and I could live their indefinitely.

 

So am I totally whacked out of my mind?

 

Also, what is the expat community like. I know generalizations are difficult but my basic question is would it be difficult to befriend people or is everyone in their own little closed off click?

 

I'm currently in school finishing a masters in social work and I already have a masters in psychology. I would absolutely love to do some type of work in this field even if it's on a part time, volunteer basis.

 

thoughts?

 

thanks

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freespirit

Hi

I am not a veteran but have a few answers to your questions

 

ON STAYING BUSY

Most definitely, first few months of your stay here you will be busy discovering the sights. Well, it will also depend on what part of the Philippines you will live.

Perhaps it would be nice if you will stay for a few weeks in bigger cities for an easier transition of what comfort and convenience you have been used to in

your country. Then, spend a few days on different islands. Since you are here on this forum, why not make it Cebu. Then, going to the other islands would be easy as there is an airport and seaports for inter-island trips.

 

ON GETTING A JOB, VOLUNTEER WORK

Teaching ESL in any of the Korean established schools in Cebu is a good option.

this might be a good start for your volunteer work: http://volunteercebu.com/

 

ON FINDING A PARTNER

I am sure there is one for you out there. If you plan on getting to know someone first before coming here, then going to dating sites like

http://www.filipinadatefinder.net/ would be good for you. I suggest that you not jump into marriage proposals immediately the first time

you see a sweet charming face on the cam. Many of them would agree here, it is best to meet them in person before getting too serious. Chemistry online may not be the same as offline.

Find someone whom you share interests with so then that will solve part of your I-do-not-want-to-be-bored feeling. Someone whom you can actually talk to about anything under the sun and grow old with in that country house that you want ( wherever that might be)

 

well .. just a few thoughts on my mind. I believe the others can give better thoughts on your other questions as they can relate more to your concerns.

 

Good luck and I am sure you will enjoy your life in Phils.

Edited by freespirit
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smokey

rent first often living the life you read about is not the same as you though...... we have a retired guy name tim also here and young ask him what its like...

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Thanks for the replies guys. I'm pretty much set on Cebu...I've already done enough research to know that that is the place to be. I really enjoyed both times I have visited. The only thing that got tiresome real quick were the beggars, that's why I really want to become part of the Philippino community because when I was there when I was single I felt like I was one big target.

 

Just to let you know some of my other interests are lifting weights, martial arts, exercise, philanthropic work (thanks for the link) as well as life coaching and working with youth and families.

 

this past year I interned at a prison and I will intern at a high school here in new mexico for my final year (social work). I also taught English in Korea for a couple of years and can speak OK Korean so the Korean language school would be an awesome fit.

 

I really don't want to do the bar scene. I don't mind drinking but I certainly don't want that to become part of my daily routine. I guess when I get there I'll just have to go to some of the events posted on this forum and get to know some people. I really think I have a lot to contribute to the expat community there and that's what I intend to do.

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lazydays
The only thing that got tiresome real quick were the beggars,

 

Sadly that's something you have to learn to live with and ignore.

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Skywalker
The only thing that got tiresome real quick were the beggars,

 

Well a lot of the ex-pats run out of money before the end of the month, and they need to drink! Shame on you!

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Mr. Mike

Your OP is a frequent subject on this forum, yet the subject will never grow stale because times change, as well as the answers,,,,I always look forward to reading the responses.

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Skywalker

On a more serious note, as has been suggested already, do rent for a while to get the lay of the land.

 

As for building a house and sharing it with a Pinoy family - sure go ahead, but be aware that a foreigner cannot own land here, and if you put the land in the name of the family, don't imagine for a second that you will have security. Owning a house on someone else's land gives you no rights.

 

Stick to renting, at least if it all goes tit's up, you can walk away.

 

Don't be a misty eyed, rose tinted glasses romantic! It's not so simple living here, it's a learning curve. And, make sure that you have a fantastic health insurance policy, because that is a major tripping point here.

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SkyMan
I'm really concerned about fully retiring since I've seen a lot of veterans go down hill fast after retirement as well as my fathers rapid demise after his retirement. Study after study have confirmed this trend, but I'm not here to argue this I just know full retirement would be horrible for myself.
First off, thanks for your service! Well, there's a lot of type A personalities in the military and although being a type A is not good for your health, its even worse to just turn that off. Lots of guys retire, sit in a comfy chair, smoke and drink until they die. Of course that's where the studies you mention get their info. You don't have to keep working at some job until you're 70 or something but you do have to keep busy with things.
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Headshot

Zulethe,

 

I am retired Air Force, as my father was before me. My father retired at 49 as a LTC, and completely retired. He moved to the country (rural Utah), took some courses at the local trade tech to use his GI Bill (auto and diesel mechanics and construction), and then spent the next several years remodeling their house, building a big toybox (a place to park all of the toys), and travelling with my mother. He never got another job. They became snowbirds (Utah in the summer and Mexico or Arizona in the winter). My father is 88 and is still very strong. I fully expect that he will live to be a centarian.

 

There are no hard and fast rules that dictate life span, but from my own observations of retired military, the guys who died early were invariably the heavy drinkers (most of them smoked heavily as well). For the most part, those guys saw retirement as a license to drink and smoke as much as they wanted (since they didn't have to answer to anybody else once they were retired). Their excesses killed them (bad livers, cancer, heart attacks and strokes). It is really quite common for military retirees who relied all of their lives on the system to provide discipline, but never really developed self-discipline. You know the type (hard-driving, hard-drinking, hard-living).

 

If you are retired and want to teach English here, I would suggest one thing BEFORE you come over to live. Get some kind of ESL certification (such as TESLA). It will greatly increase your income possibilities. The fact that you can communicate in Korean is a great benefit in finding a job here and being successful. With certification (which you can get at many colleges in the US), you can have a pretty good supplement to your income. After that, just come and decide where you want to live. I will be honest with you. You have somewhat conflicting desires. That is...you want to teach English to Koreans (all of the schools that do that are in the Cebu Metro area) and you want to live in the country (where there is likely no employment for you).

 

It would be tough (and somewhat hazardous to your health) to commute on a daily basis between the country and city. It certainly isn't a way to extend your life expectancy. F0r that reason, I would suggest that you decide which is more important to you...living in the country and working in the city...and just center everything else on that.

 

Some things (like the beggars) you just need to learn to ignore if you are going to live here. Other things (like Asian driving habits) you have probably already dealt with in places like Korea...but it is still a little bit different here. It takes some getting used to if you are going to drive here. If you live in the city, then driving is optional (since you can take taxis or Jeepneys most places). If you live in the country, then you need a vehicle. If you drive here, you will need to learn their rules of the road...and then be very alert when driving. Things tend to jump out at you from all directions here.

 

In any event, if you want to give retirement a try, just make your preparations and come over. Travel as much as you can in the first few months (so you have a chance to see the different parts of Cebu province and neighboring islands. After you do that, THEN decide if you want to teach or if you have found the perfect place to live...regardless of whether you can work.

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RogerDat

Greetings! I am retired AF. I gave it up in 1990. I DID NOT retire, have been working since. Your life is not ended when you retire, and a lot of AF used to do just that, sit and drink them self to death, could not make it on retired pay and such, so were miserable and died young.

Remember civilains retire at 62 plus, not 38 or 45.

I am inpressed with the positive feed back you got this time, THEY must be sleeping!

 

If you are a counceler we have many members on this forum who are in desparate need as you will see when reading all the negitive comments that come out when someone expressies any happiness with their life.

 

Maby they will give you PM privaledges that way you can give us the counceling in private we so desprately need.

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MarinePride

I can only speak for myself, but I'm 43 and I moved here nearly 3 ago. My wife of 17 years, Filipina, and our 2 kids are included in the move. If you have any life left in you at all, you will be hopelessly bored after about a year or so. Watching TV, going to the mall, attending various parties, exercising, guitar playing and reading only go so far to fill up the day. Maybe it's just me, but I still feel like I want to work after being here. Or maybe I'm the kind of person who can never REALLY retire and be content with not having what I consider a productive day.

 

Drinking never became a problem for me here, as by my standards, the beer isn't all that great. Maybe if they could make something that tastes more like a bottle of Samuel Adams. Asking a lot I know.

 

As far as working over here, if you have a 13a visa, you can do it. I don't know what the market is for psychologists over here, but here's something funny my wife always tells me, "we don't need shrinks over here because everyone is always happy". That is the biggest crock of crap I've ever heard, but people tend to have social networks to deal with their problems here, rather than the American favorite of "going to the shrink". I know that psychology and psychiatry are different, but people tend to be less medicated here than in the USA.

 

If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't come here for another 10 years, but that's me and everyone's situation is different. Obviously, you are an educated man and this the 3rd world. There are many things that will disappoint you, maybe you will get over them or maybe they will be a constant pain, like they are for me.

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Skywalker
There are many things that will disappoint you, maybe you will get over them or maybe they will be a constant pain, like they are for me.

 

Why on EARTH would you stay here if you are so unhappy? Christ you are only 43! I am 53, I love it here, I used to live in Thailand but after 8 years of hard partying I needed a quieter lifestyle, and I have found it here.

 

What is it with these workhorses? They bitch about work, and when they retire they bitch about not working? I guess guys like that will NEVER be happy!

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Why on EARTH would you stay here if you are so unhappy? Christ you are only 43! I am 53, I love it here, I used to live in Thailand but after 8 years of hard partying I needed a quieter lifestyle, and I have found it here.

 

What is it with these workhorses? They bitch about work, and when they retire they bitch about not working? I guess guys like that will NEVER be happy!

 

Either you haven't been here long enough for some of it to grate, or you oldies of 50+ are more accepting of the 'difficulties' of living here.

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Alan S

I've seen a lot of people retire and promptly stagnate, leading to an early grave. So, it applies to many people not just ex-military.

 

Me? Once I retired I got busy with my hobbies, ,and one thing led to another, including doing things for other people, so that now I am busier than when I was working.

In fact, I dont know how I had time for work!

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