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Do's And Don"ts Of Internet Dating


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OK kids, let's talk about the dreaded internet as a tool to meet Filipinas. Despite what some say, there are many good and honest women out there in cyber land. You just need the right guidelines and tools to help you sort the chaff from the wheat.

 

As the internet proliferates further, there are more and more good women who are willing to take a chance at it. They are more scared and therefore reluctant than you are. There is your first key to one of the best indicators of a really sincere and honest woman versus a scammer. A demure nature is a very good sign!

 

Anyway, let's get to the nitty gritty!

 

1) Choose a site (or sites depending upon your budget) that suits your needs and supplies good tools and information. There are a ton of them out there, but only a few really good ones! PM me and I'll tell you my favorites as I don't want to advertise here for any of them.

 

2) Be honest! Don't post a 10 year old picture when you were 20 pounds lighter and had less grey hair. If you want honesty, do your part as well. Watch out for the reverse as well.

 

3) Pictures are not worth a thousand words here. Beware of the ones who went to Glamour Shots and got a photo array taken. When you take a way the clothes, hair and makeup, she will look a bit different. Plus this is a standard strategy for the scammers in allot of the rural areas. Always ask for recent pictures (dated) taken with a digital camera. Yes even the girls in the province know where to borrow a camera or go to the photo shop and pay P20.

 

4) As soon as the sad stories start, beware. Some are legit and it will just come up in a natural conversation. But on the second chat, hearing about the mother in the hospital needing medication, run run run. Kristine, my true love and proof that the internet works, had some sad stories. Her husband was killed. Her job sucked. But they were real and she did not go into that right away.

 

5) Ask lots of questions and do not be shy. Be respectful, but not shy. Short answers and reluctance to answer things are a sure sign of a scammer. Replies like yup, yap yeps and the sort are signs of internet junkies and or immaturity that just want to take some cash and run.

 

6) Let the web cam be your friend. Many times scammers will have a boy friend, husband or accomplice right beside her. If you see a girl talking or looking to the side often, beware! Ask her to pan the cam in that direction. If she is reluctant or refuses, run run run. Reluctance to smile is a bad sign that her dental hygiene has been lacking or her teeth are crooked. Covering the mouth when smiling is somewhat common, but still a sign of potential issues. Do not be shy (after a few chats) about asking her to stand up to show you a full profile. (This can be tricky if she is in an internet cafe) No don't ask her to show you the goods! There are many foreigners who are just looking for a cheap thrill and you will come off as one of them.

 

7) Having internet at home! Most scammers don't have PCs at home. If the girl/woman has internet access at home then it's a good sign that she comes from a family that has some reasonable means of supporting themselves.

 

8) Gainfully employed! A good sign is if the woman/girl is already supporting herself. Many will say they have jobs, just ask for a scanned copy of their most recent paycheck stub or income statement. Do this under the guise that you have been lied to in the past so you are being careful. *** See Below

 

9) Living conditions! Many will be living with family. Hopefully not their brother! LOLOLOLOL For those new to the Phils, this is a common story about living with a brother when it's actually her BF or husband. Ask for recent pics of her residence and or family. If a woman/girl is surviving is a squatters area under deplorable conditions, she most likely would not be the type you want anyway. Do not expect the same as you might expect in the west regardless. The conditions here are on a much different scale. If I judged by the apartment Kristine's family lives in, I would not have chosen her. But because they choose to live meagerly, does not make them bad people.

 

10) Do not send money for Internet time. If she can't afford to chat with you a couple of times a week on her dime, steer clear, she will just need more money for other things as well.

 

11) Education! The average college education here is similar to graduating from an average high school in the US. They have to pay for everything regarding education. So if a girl/woman is reporting that she is a college graduate, ask for her transcripts. Once again, you were lied to remember. And you probably were anyway! *** See below!

 

12) Living in the US/west. If a woman/girl only wants to live in another country, beware. I would suggest going with a story that you are planning to move to the Phils to live. Even if you are not thinking that way totally. This will weed out the immigration at all costs thinkers.

 

13) Don't come off as a rich kano looking to be fleeced. Be humble and don't brag. This will put off the honest women big time while enticing the scammers to be more diligent.

 

14) Don't send money for anything at all. If money comes up early on, run run run.

 

There will be more to add here but I need to cook some breakfast for the masses. Later!

 

BTW, if there is any interest shown, Kristine and I will collaborate to do a mirror of this information for the Pinays to help them avoid the dead beats and sickos that prey upon the unsuspecting Filipinas.

 

*** - This may upset a truly legitimate and sincere person. Use tact and diplomacy in doing this, and only if you feel uneasy about the person's honesty.

Edited by Bob Ward
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this is particularly important in a country where the most frequent type of birth control is coitus interruptus !

This is something that I see a lot of in the Pointman site, a double standard. Men come here and date 10-20 women, the go back home and continue to communicate with several, and continue hitting the d

judging from the very high numbers of young woman with kids in the Philippines, there is much coitus and very little interruptus  

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smokey

ha ha ha ha ha .... i have the holy grail .... a movie or i should say a true story of a guy who ordered a mail order bride... he wrote letters and then got a K1 she was from Burma i think its very funny and eye opening.... a must see MAIL ORDER BRIDE.... by concord entertainment... its a vcd i boutht at SM

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You know it's interesting how the term "mail order bride" was first coined. It started in the 18th and 19th century when women would list themselves in catalogs. The internet has revolutionized this process into a viable and extremely useful tool to meet people from around the world. It's simply a matter of using those tools effectively and wisely.

 

For some of the old timers who are more traditional in their ways of engaging the opposite sex, this may be an unacceptable method. But in the information age, it seems only to be a natural migration and augmantation to the traditional methods.

Edited by Bob Ward
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"For some of the old timers who are more traditional in their ways of engaging the opposite sex"...

 

hotchat.jpeg

 

"this may be an unacceptable method".

 

 

 

 

 

lol..Sorry Bob..

You walked into that one!

Edited by fred42
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Yes I did. Love the cartoon!

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You know it's interesting how the term "mail order bride" was first coined. It started in the 18th and 19th century when women would list themselves in catalogs.

...

 

You could have added that, at that time, it was women from the Eastern US who were seeking husbands who were in the sparsely populated areas of the west coast (USA).

 

With todays laws, it is innacurate, if indeed it ever really was the true picture.

Particularly in the US, there are loads of hoops to jump through to get ones bride /fiance to the US, and ones needs proof of a long term relationship, so MOB, as usually imagined, really doesnt apply.

 

 

As for Bob's Rule 14, I have posted this before but will repeat it here.

 

I am not looking for a wife, but like many people get on Philippine related message boards and one often gets messages from Filipinas.

 

One one occasion, one contacted me, so naturally I sent a polite reply.

 

The next message contained a plea to asisst, because the family carabao was sick and they needed money for medicines for it.

 

I replied, "How lucky you are: must be wealthier than me". and then added, quite truthfully, that I didnt even own a carabao.

 

I never heard from her again.

 

Wonder why? lol

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Excellent post Bob.

 

My little scamer had some of the warning signs you list:

 

3. She had the glamor shots in her profile.

4. The sad stories started after a couple weeks.

I think this is one of the most important things to watch for. They won't ask for money

but will say "lolo is sick and i don't know what i am going to do"

14. Money. If I had not sent any money it wouldn't of taken long to see the real person.

Once I started sending her money she knew she had found the man of her dreams lol.

 

She lied from the very first time we chatted, and still does.

 

Of course, you have to let yourself be scamed. I did. I had read advice just like yours

but did not think it applied to me, she loves me and would not hurt me.

 

So please, anybody reading this that is just starting an online relationship, listen to this advice.

I sure wish I would of.

 

Jim

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tideclipper

Jim I have nothing but sorrow for you ... I honestly wish that I had never read your story but I know I am enriched by it in the same way. I hurt with you my man. Just like in every walk of life you will find good and bad. I think I have been fortunate enough to avoid enough of the bad and done enough good that Karma is starting to return the favor. I know it is hard to at times to use common sense with affairs if the heart but everyone must just do that, would you meet a woman at home without asking questions to know all you can about her? I always reword questions and ask them over in different syntaxes. You must understand that people in desperate situations and desperate economies will look upon us as a means to an end ... in your desperate situation would you do the same? honestly? (I do not want to generalize here) But caution is always my key word!

 

Thanks all for hearing mt little rant!

Steve

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:) The only good use for online dating is to fill in time while your waiting to travel.....

 

It does give you an insight into the traits and personalitys of Pinays though.....some are even very sweet..and i only chat if i can see them on webcam..........but its mainly scammers,underage and ladyboys ;) .........

 

...i have hundreds of names on my Yahoo and i wouldnt bother meeting any of them......as ive read many times theres millions and millions of women waiting for you on the first day u get there in person......sounds MUCH better to me...... :D

Edited by jackspratt
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Yes everyone has their preferences. If you use the tools correctly, you can cover more ground, so to speak, in a week on the net than you could do here on the ground in 3 months.

 

Yes there are millions of women here, but they have the same issues and challenges that people on the internet do. You will see women here that you will drool over, only to find out the hard way that they are bayots. You can not tell some of the best with the naked eye! Impossible!!!!

 

There are nearly as many scammers in person (in the city) as on the net. It just takes more time to find out.

 

If you have 100s of names in your YM then you are not managing your contacts very well. Don't allow just anyone to chat or add you to their list. Besides YM sucks in many ways. Use Skype once you find a nice person as it's much easier to manage plus all of the Phils uses YM for a multitude of crazy reasons.

Edited by Bob Ward
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Well I did meet my girl on the internet. Was really looking for some "fun". A lot of girls do that you have to know, show themselves naked for money. Its not a scam in my eyes, its a business. Sort of the cyber equivalent to a bargirl. They can make money with sex without the many risks of "real" sex. But the chances of finding a good girl that way is certainly slim. I guess I was just lucky. I met a lot of girls also that I wouldn't really like to do anything with. And one who is a good friend now and also found a man she loves on the net.

Bobs list is certainly good.

But what i would like to add:

7) Having internet at home! Most scammers don't have PCs at home. If the girl/woman has internet access at home then it's a good sign that she comes from a family that has some reasonable means of supporting themselves.

It could also mean, shes making money by doing sex shows. Not necessarily a bad thing, if you dont have a problem with it. She can still be a good girl. But she should be honest to you about it.

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I think its great people can meet someone online.....ive met friends from all over the world online.....

 

I intend to visit Phil as a single guy looking for a fun time........not looking for the "soul mate"........(but if that happens then so be it B) )

 

Between reading this and a few other forums,online dating sites and general google research ive learnt an enormous amount about the culture and attitude of pinays and the country in general...ive even seen inside many of their homes...... :P ....so Bob that was my point exactly,ive covered a ton of ground without even walking out my front door....

yahoo is just a bit of light entertainment.....even the nice girls only chat for a short time then disappear into the black hole of the web ......eventually ill just cancel the account and start again....but by that time hopefully ill be boarding a plane to Cebu..... B) .....

 

ps....your list is a good one.....its certainly needed.....and yes one for the reverse would probably be warranted as well....ive come across some very young ,very sweet but very innocent and naive young ladys ....easily led i would think.....

cheers guys :D

Edited by jackspratt
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tom_shor

Good topic Bob. Lots of good pointers.

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:P The only good use for online dating is to fill in time while your waiting to travel.....

 

It does give you an insight into the traits and personalitys of Pinays though.....some are even very sweet..and i only chat if i can see them on webcam..........but its mainly scammers,underage and ladyboys :rolleyes: .........

 

...i have hundreds of names on my Yahoo and i wouldnt bother meeting any of them......as ive read many times theres millions and millions of women waiting for you on the first day u get there in person......sounds MUCH better to me...... :rolleyes:

 

That's using a Filipina for one's advantage...as playing around only which is sad because somehow one or two might be true and loyal to you!

 

 

Bob, I just failed in your do's and don'ts...for one the first thing that urge me to write Alan is the sentence "...willing to live in the philippines for good..." and if someone start to ask proof against my words, "GOODBYE"! Except for the fact that like Kristine, I too have a sad story, a real one.

Anyway, speaking of internet dating, please beware also of stories about being a battered wife and is separated for 2 or 3 years...for all you know it might just be 2 or 3 weeks...they just have an argument which were aggravated when the woman luckily meet someone on the internet and out-pours everything....you will 90 % be the one spending for the annulment!!! :lol:

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jackspratt
That's using a Filipina for one's advantage...as playing around only which is sad because somehow one or two might be true and loyal to you!

 

 

Im not taking advantage of them....i tell them straight up what im looking for.....which is a companion and "guide" (which is even written in my "profile")........the few that have shown genuine interest never continue to chat online for more than a few weeks.......99% of THEM are the ones "playing around"........... :rolleyes:

If they want an "instant" husband i say "thanx but no thanx" :rolleyes:

Edited by jackspratt
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