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davewe

Surprising Convo with my Filipina GF

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ckfm

Let me help you find yourself. You stated that both of you really did not like condoms. He asked, how does she know she doesn't like condoms? For one to establish a like or dislike for something they must have experienced both sides. We are not talking about broccoli, we are talking about unprotected sex! Thus there is a risk!

 

Now, as for following your gut.........thats nothing more then Russian Roulette. I'm surprised that anyone would even suggest that in these days and times. We all might have taken that chance somewhere along the line, however I would certainly not suggest that path to be taken solely on gut feelings. It only takes one mistake to change your life forever! STD's know no economic or cultural boundaries. The Doctors office and Obituaries are full of good people that made a mistake.

 

You have the knowledge and information. The hard part is going to be communicating it to her in a way that does not offend and or question her morals and promiscuity. Do not misinterpret education and economic class with worldly enlightenment, it won't fly here.

 

You might try the soft sell with a little reverse psychology. Explain to her that you have had unprotected sex in the past. Because you care for her well being and she is the only one in your future that you feel that you should have a test to free yourself of worry. Tell her it would totally destroy you if you were to unknowingly pass something on to her. You might mention that she also needs to do this for peace of mind as well and it is required as part of the Visa process. Approach is everything........specially when face and cultural differences are in play.

 

Pregnancy is a different ball game. You have four choices, vasectomy, birth control pills (not catholic should be no problem), condoms or abstinence. Again, approach is everything........specially when face and cultural differences are in play. Good luck and learn from your mistakes. There is a lot to learn when dealing with our Filipina's.

 

Foreigner: I don't like condoms

 

Filipina: Me too

 

 

Meaning, it doesn't mean anything if a Filipina says that, logic doesn't prevail.

 

Also, I find it a bit amusing calling a girl his GF without having met her and making the discussion about sex the most important part.

 

Take it slow would be my advice, if you want sex, go to a bar and use a condom, if you want a relationship, come here and start the relationship slow with trust and intimacy (that doesn't mean sex). If you are concerned about her that she may have a disease and many sexual partners, let go of her anyway.

 

I also wonder how many of the posters here with good advice handled their own relationship, especially those who are married. An insult (and this is an insult for a good FIlipina in case you didn't know that) is a bad start for a long term relationship.

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davewe

Foreigner: I don't like condoms

 

Filipina: Me too

 

 

Meaning, it doesn't mean anything if a Filipina says that, logic doesn't prevail.

 

Also, I find it a bit amusing calling a girl his GF without having met her and making the discussion about sex the most important part.

 

Take it slow would be my advice, if you want sex, go to a bar and use a condom, if you want a relationship, come here and start the relationship slow with trust and intimacy (that doesn't mean sex). If you are concerned about her that she may have a disease and many sexual partners, let go of her anyway.

 

I also wonder how many of the posters here with good advice handled their own relationship, especially those who are married. An insult (and this is an insult for a good FIlipina in case you didn't know that) is a bad start for a long term relationship.

 

You did not read my posting carefully. We did meet, we have had sex, we have begun a relationship. We are meeting again in April and planning that trip. In the process of that plan the subject of contraception came up. Thus came the discussion that I reported on. Here is what I wrote:

 

"My new GF is middle class and well educated, if that matters. And she is not Catholic. And I am surprised.

 

So last night we are chatting about my next trip to see her in April. We both have expressed dislike for condoms, but who does like them. As she is making it clear that maybe I dont have to use them I say, "Well how would that work?" I asked and answered myself. "Maybe if we both got tested and showed the test results to the other - then we would know we are at least safe. Since we are committed to not see other people - perhaps this would help."

 

Ironically I got the idea of mentioning testing because a Filipina friend of mine who lives in Manila says that's what she does with new partners. So I did not realize that it was an insult to ask such a thing in the Philippines.

 

This thread started with some reasonable advice but has degenerated into "only have anal sex" or "hit the bars." And yes, I know the anal sex comment was just a joke.

Edited by davewe
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Art

In this day and age we have to be smart. A sexually active person should be happy to have a test to clear any doubts for themselves. The advice on tact and other possibilities are sound. I thought the joke was inappropriate and unhelpful to your serious enquiry. I have no idea of how you will resolve this with your GF if she is of the mind that for her its not necessary.

Good luck

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ckfm

You did not read my posting carefully. We did meet, we have had sex, we have begun a relationship. We are meeting again in April and planning that trip. In the process of that plan the subject of contraception came up. Thus came the discussion that I reported on. Here is what I wrote:

 

"My new GF is middle class and well educated, if that matters. And she is not Catholic. And I am surprised.

 

So last night we are chatting about my next trip to see her in April. We both have expressed dislike for condoms, but who does like them. As she is making it clear that maybe I dont have to use them I say, "Well how would that work?" I asked and answered myself. "Maybe if we both got tested and showed the test results to the other - then we would know we are at least safe. Since we are committed to not see other people - perhaps this would help."

 

Ironically I got the idea of mentioning testing because a Filipina friend of mine who lives in Manila says that's what she does with new partners. So I did not realize that it was an insult to ask such a thing in the Philippines.

 

This thread started with some reasonable advice but has degenerated into "only have anal sex" or "hit the bars." And yes, I know the anal sex comment was just a joke.

 

 

So you already had sex with her and didn't use protection?

 

I am wondering WTF you are chatting with other girls (sexually active with many sex partners) in the Philippines and then asking your (permanent one?) to have a test for sexual transmitted diseases.

 

Sorry, but I completely lost you there.

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Paul

At the OP request, this topic is now locked.

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