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davewe

Surprising Convo with my Filipina GF

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A_Simple_Man
Do you mean HPV? For that, there is a vaccine.

 

I bet he really does mean what he said, and I'd agree with him.

 

Hepatitis B is an infectious inflammatory illness of the liver caused by the hepatitis B virus (HBV)

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Athena

That's the drama I'm talkin about.

You have the right to wave the white flag....and her the red.

What's so hard about a test if it's what you want? I refuse to understand.

I, like others here, have been toasted, roasted, fried and baked.

Cracked white wheat.

But not anymore.

 

 

 

Fair enough, if that is your experience …………. But you cannot paint every Filipina with the same brush. Perhaps, Davewe girl is of better quality from your previous exes. Besides, your experience is not necessarily be Davewes experience ……………..

 

More importantly, Davewe gf is not a bar girl who are blasé on such matters. For her to offer a no condom use is her way of saying she cared and trusted him and it’s a slap to her face to having her gesture demeaned by his medical offer. A lot of filipinas has not graduated from brazen sophistication and sex is still look on as act of love.

 

If he has no medical fears for himself except for unplanned pregnancy then it shouldn’t be an issue unless he has doubts about his gfs sexual health. And relationship is also an act of faith. With most Filipinas you cannot handle sensitive issue like a bull in a china cup!

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Headshot

I refuse to understand.

 

I think you've made that quite clear.

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davewe

Fair enough, if that is your experience …………. But you cannot paint every Filipina with the same brush. Perhaps, Davewe girl is of better quality from your previous exes. Besides, your experience is not necessarily be Davewes experience ……………..

 

More importantly, Davewe gf is not a bar girl who are blasé on such matters. For her to offer a no condom use is her way of saying she cared and trusted him and it’s a slap to her face to having her gesture demeaned by his medical offer. A lot of filipinas has not graduated from brazen sophistication and sex is still look on as act of love.

 

If he has no medical fears for himself except for unplanned pregnancy then it shouldn’t be an issue unless he has doubts about his gfs sexual health. And relationship is also an act of faith. With most Filipinas you cannot handle sensitive issue like a bull in a china cup!

 

Well I think you have certainly stated her view and now I understand her better. But please understand I meant no "slap in the face" nor did I view it as demeaning. In the US we are bombarded with the "use condoms and get tested periodically" message.

 

But I understand better now. It is not my lack of trust in her. STDs happen to all sorts of good people.

 

Of course we still have to avoid pregnancy.

 

I should also add, if I have not been clear, that this is someone I am falling in love with (and I believe she feels the same) and do not want to do anything to hurt her (like getting her pregnant).

 

And yes, she is a very fine person and quality woman and I am sad to think that I have hurt her, even unintentionally.

Edited by davewe

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m60man
How does she know she doesn't like condoms?

 

But you completely lost me with your last sentence, so I will be clearer. She is no virgin and we have already slept together (with condoms).

 

Let me help you find yourself. You stated that both of you really did not like condoms. He asked, how does she know she doesn't like condoms? For one to establish a like or dislike for something they must have experienced both sides. We are not talking about broccoli, we are talking about unprotected sex! Thus there is a risk!

 

Now, as for following your gut.........thats nothing more then Russian Roulette. I'm surprised that anyone would even suggest that in these days and times. We all might have taken that chance somewhere along the line, however I would certainly not suggest that path to be taken solely on gut feelings. It only takes one mistake to change your life forever! STD's know no economic or cultural boundaries. The Doctors office and Obituaries are full of good people that made a mistake.

 

You have the knowledge and information. The hard part is going to be communicating it to her in a way that does not offend and or question her morals and promiscuity. Do not misinterpret education and economic class with worldly enlightenment, it won't fly here.

 

You might try the soft sell with a little reverse psychology. Explain to her that you have had unprotected sex in the past. Because you care for her well being and she is the only one in your future that you feel that you should have a test to free yourself of worry. Tell her it would totally destroy you if you were to unknowingly pass something on to her. You might mention that she also needs to do this for peace of mind as well and it is required as part of the Visa process. Approach is everything........specially when face and cultural differences are in play.

 

Pregnancy is a different ball game. You have four choices, vasectomy, birth control pills (not catholic should be no problem), condoms or abstinence. Again, approach is everything........specially when face and cultural differences are in play. Good luck and learn from your mistakes. There is a lot to learn when dealing with our Filipina's.

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goldote
Fair enough, if that is your experience …………. But you cannot paint every Filipina with the same brush. Perhaps, Davewe girl is of better quality from your previous exes. Besides, your experience is not necessarily be Davewes experience …………….

 

You seem to have a vested interest in the quality. I do tend to be old and bold.

If she wants any kind of visa, Saint Luke will have to take a look.

To be continued later....

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Headshot

Well I think you have certainly stated her view and now I understand her better. But please understand I meant no "slap in the face" nor did I view it as demeaning. In the US we are bombarded with the "use condoms and get tested periodically" message.

 

But I understand better now. It is not my lack of trust in her. STDs happen to all sorts of good people.

 

Of course we still have to avoid pregnancy.

 

I should also add, if I have not been clear, that this is someone I am falling in love with (and I believe she feels the same) and do not want to do anything to hurt her (like getting her pregnant).

 

And yes, she is a very fine person and quality woman and I am sad to think that I have hurt her, even unintentionally.

 

THAT is what you should tell her.

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Stranded Shipscook

Well I think you have certainly stated her view and now I understand her better. But please understand I meant no "slap in the face" nor did I view it as demeaning. In the US we are bombarded with the "use condoms and get tested periodically" message.

 

But I understand better now. It is not my lack of trust in her. STDs happen to all sorts of good people.

 

Of course we still have to avoid pregnancy.

 

I should also add, if I have not been clear, that this is someone I am falling in love with (and I believe she feels the same) and do not want to do anything to hurt her (like getting her pregnant).

 

And yes, she is a very fine person and quality woman and I am sad to think that I have hurt her, even unintentionally.

it seems you are a reasonable human being with lots of empathy and undertsanding, So just talk to your loved one about it in person and maybe in the meantime avoid sex.

Then, when you are sure of your feelings and relation to go somewhere, you can go the whole nine yards and marry and have kids.

That sounds old fashioned, but its about as close as it get's here.

 

One can not imply Western standards here overnight, and the questions is still open, if they are "better" for this country or not. But thats is another topic.

Edited by G....

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tiger31

That's the drama I'm talkin about.

You have the right to wave the white flag....and her the red.

What's so hard about a test if it's what you want? I refuse to understand.

I, like others here, have been toasted, roasted, fried and baked.

Cracked white wheat.

But not anymore.

That's the drama I'm talkin about.

You have the right to wave the white flag....and her the red.

What's so hard about a test if it's what you want? I refuse to understand.

I, like others here, have been toasted, roasted, fried and baked.

Cracked white wheat.

But not anymore.

well tellin them that your the boss i aint surprised mr macho man :D

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JamesMusslewhite

Yep, two things a man can do to show his woman that her man really cares for her. When asking her to sign a "Prenuptial" and or demand she is tested for "Communicable diseases". (why would good girls find this offense? after all one could only be implying that they may be a possible money-grubbing floozy.)

 

 

Perhaps you just need to spend a little more time communicating with her, and realize what it means to her. If properly talked out and she will understand better with time. Good luck.

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tiger31
maybe in the meantime avoid sex
its not easy when ya got a cute little puki sat next to ya lol

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davewe

its not easy when ya got a cute little puki sat next to ya lol

 

Yeah, no sex isn't gonna happen; that bridge has been crossed. Worst case scenario is back to condom use, and lets face it that isn't that bad.

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jtmwatchbiz

Yeah, no sex isn't gonna happen; that bridge has been crossed. Worst case scenario is back to condom use, and lets face it that isn't that bad.

 

i really think i have to agree with phil and others who stress that you really need to talk about this in person.

 

i never had an internet relationship before but i can imagine the dangers of misunderstandings and emotions flying by discussing controversial topics online between 2 people in a relationship. just look at the battles that take place here in the forum !

 

better to just keep things light and lively until you are back here don't you think? don't obsess on the sex topic too much with someone who obviously has trouble dealing with it...even worse from a distance online! deal with it when the time is right and face to face. as you said...sex is already happening so it's not like you will be goin without :D

Edited by jtmwatchbiz
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Davaoeno

Sometimes in life you have to use your brain, and also your wits. I have found many many times in my life, in many different types of situations- that you can find out exactly what you want - IF you go about it the right way. First you have to be humble enough to reveal yourself to the other person, so obviously so that they know that they can trust you with the truth. But mean it - dont play games with them . Then you have to make sure that they feel very comfortable talking to you about their most intimate secrets- so that they will not feel so defensive. . And if you can do that, then you have to use a lot of humor also , so that the whole thing becomes more of a joke than an inquisition. put all that together and i guarantee you that almost always you will be able to get the other person to be totally honest with you.

 

From what you have said i think you are just torturing yourself unnecessarily . Just go for it ! you will feel a lot more relaxed, she will feel a lot more relaxed - and the sex will be fabulous !! And safe !

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broden
Let me help you find yourself. You stated that both of you really did not like condoms. He asked, how does she know she doesn't like condoms? For one to establish a like or dislike for something they must have experienced both sides. We are not talking about broccoli, we are talking about unprotected sex! Thus there is a risk!

 

not necessarily. i know women who were virgins would would say they didn't like condoms meaning they didn't like the idea of condoms especially in a loving serious relationship and that more often than not being the only kind of relationship they could picture themselves in

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