Jump to content

10 Common Myths About Bringing Filipinas To The West


Recommended Posts

questsea73

I think Joe Kano's original thread-starting post is perfectly appropriate and extremely helpful to foreigner men who are unfamiliar with Asian women's routine value set. Of course, it is a "sweeping generalization" and we would all like to think we are the exception and "it won't happen to us". I found it a very dispassionate and unprejudiced observation--whether original to Joe or not.

 

There are other reasons for such marriages to crash that were not listed by Joe. My first "down-in-flames" marriage came about because of wife brought to USA before finding out she was a really compulsive gambler; this plus close relationships with other (Thai) women of questionable morals who let her know how easy it was to get a lowlife lawyer, make false statement affadavit, divorce and clean out husband. There's a lot of difference from gambling in Thailand or PI for 1 baht or 1 peso stakes and taking the bus to Lake Tahoe or Reno to the gambling hells. There is a significant population of Filipinos at the Tahoe and Reno casinos. So another rule for moving to USA : if you know your wife has a weakness for games of chance don't move to Northern California, or near gulf coast or Atlantic City, Indian casinos, etc.

 

I have seen quite a few marriages in USA bite the dust for all the reasons posted above. Most of these there was no significant (more than 10 years difference in age). Thai, Filipina, Korean, you name it aswives got as big a Culture Shock coming to the land of the Big PX and the multi-credit card laden purse as we got coming to Asia--the land of the open sewers, nights as hot/sweaty as days, payupfront or die on our doorstep hospitals, etc. Plenty of the men shared some of the responsibility for the breakups, but mostly, as I saw it, the woman saw an opportunity to improve her hand, so she discarded the Joker (her less-than-rich-as-she-now-realized husband baggage).

 

There isn't any bulletproof vest to wear for this, but some things have been mentioned here before that I have seen and agree with: (a. Shadow: chances of problems in terms of outright scams diminish if you select a non-big-city woman (b. spend a lot of time with her before deciding (c. try to live with her 1 year or more before even deciding she is marriageable (d. if she had religious-based ethics she is more likely to last for the long haul (f. staying with her in PI with her support groups (minus ex-boyfriends) will help--and is almost imperative if age difference is great. And so on. Hope later this year I will have all these commandments embedded in the circuitry that connects my eyes to my vocal cords and brain.

 

Ken

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 108
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Jess Bartone

    9

  • KennyF

    7

  • Cipro

    7

  • AngelofBroden

    6

Cipro

You don't.

You move to RP and marry her here.

If after 2 or 3 years everything is OK you maybe try moving to the states.

 

KinP

 

No, I mean you said that a lot of guys who bring their GF back to the States suffered failed relationships, and I'm intensely curious how I can also get my GF here to see how things work out, it sounds like a great way to go. So how did these guys manage it?

Link to post
Share on other sites
KeithAngel

I take what my wife has told me at face value that she wants a simple life with me who she loves as I do her and will live up to my end of that comitment but Im also not going to put her in "harms way" in terms of the hambogera crew Im taking her to Catholc country that has a low divorce rate (Property or other assets that you had at the time of marriage is not devided)hardly a Pinoy in sight to a country life which was where she came from befor Cebu City

 

Where the water is clean from the mountain most of our food will come from the land She and her daughter will have a new language to master and a notable absence of consumer opportunities but in a cultural niche that still has many admirable qualities I hope she will appreciate the diference from here and make the adjustment as there will be no green card equivalent without my agreement for perhaps 5-10 years down the line.

 

Ive spent 7 months living with her ,married her and told her the truth about the future and we genuinly love and like each other and my relationship of deep affection for her daughter is given back 10 fold.

 

I recognise although she wont talk about it that she will most likely outlive me by quite a bit and Im hopefull our relationship will give her the tools to enjoy her life fully after me and that She and her daughter will never feel they are not at home anywhere in the world

Link to post
Share on other sites
KennyF

No, I mean you said that a lot of guys who bring their GF back to the States suffered failed relationships, and I'm intensely curious how I can also get my GF here to see how things work out, it sounds like a great way to go. So how did these guys manage it?

 

I think you are mixing up posts as I did not say anything like that.

 

I said "From my own and many, many friends experiences, the worst thing to do is take a girl to the west too fast.

Live here in SEA, married, for at least a few years."

and...

 

"The failure rate of western ~ SEA relationships is way higher than the success rate."

I'm not sure where you read "a lot of guys who bring their GF back to the States" but it wasn't in my post.

 

KinP

Link to post
Share on other sites
Jess Bartone

Nobody said "they" are all the same. If fact if you read the disclaimer at the beginning, you would have seen that the Myths are admittedly a "sweeping generalization".

Did you pay the author for the use of this oft-repeated truism? Just because you added you own disclaimer does not make it yours. If you have experienced a bitter breakdown of relationship, please do not attempt to break others' relationships by sowing the seeds of doubt.

 

The following are sweeping generalizations and of course there are always exceptions, but based upon my own personal experience of having been-there, done-that 18 years ago, as well as those of many other older American husbands with younger Filipina wives that I have gotten to know over the years, I have found these characterizations have some basis in truth.

An almost identical list could be written for fat-arsed Americans, or any of the other nationalities represented in the Philippines.

 

 

 

 

Hasn't this list been on the forum before?...

 

...If you are looking for a woman servant then stay in the Philippines and hire one. If you want a life partner then allow her to become all she can be.

Quite right Roger... another bitter man found a place to vent someone else's words (lack of originality)... usually because she did not turn out to be the dedicated servant he expected.

 

 

 

 

joe kano has put together a very insightful post. (and he does allow for exceptions)

What a crock... it's copied and pasted... except for his "allow for exceptions" addition.

Link to post
Share on other sites
KennyF

Jesse, lets say 10 guys have crossed a field and of those 10, 6 had their legs blown off by land mines.

Now suppose I see that you are about to cross that field.

 

Do you want me to tell you about the 6 guys with no legs or should I avoid scaring you into not crossing the field?

 

It's nothing to do with being bitter, failing or anything else.

 

KinP

Link to post
Share on other sites
Jess Bartone

.....of those 10, 6 had their legs blown off by land mines.....

 

Well statistics show it would only be two who lost their legs, however... if my mission lay on the other side of the field, should I just shit myself, lay down and cry?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Davaoeno

Jesse, lets say 10 guys have crossed a field and of those 10, 6 had their legs blown off by land mines.

Now suppose I see that you are about to cross that field.

 

Do you want me to tell you about the 6 guys with no legs or should I avoid scaring you into not crossing the field?

 

It's nothing to do with being bitter, failing or anything else.

 

KinP

 

 

 

lets make this a bit more interesting. There were 1000 guys who were right in the path of a volcanic eruption. Only way of escape was across a mined field. 989 guys decided not to cross they field and now all 989 are dead. !0 decided to cross the field and 6 of them had their legs blown off. now here comes the last guy - Jesse- late to the party as usual- and you ask him if he wants you to tell him about the 6 guys who lost legs ? Even for Jesse this is a no brainer !!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mailman

if my mission lay on the other side of the field, should I just shit myself, lay down and cry?

 

No, but I'd assume you'd want to go about it pretty carefully. :angry2:

Edited by Mailman
Link to post
Share on other sites
Jess Bartone

No, but I'd assume you'd want to go about it pretty carefully. :angry2:

 

biggrin_01.gif Quite right, but... if there are six blokes standing on the other side yelling "come on you can do it, you will not taste success unless you cross that field"... and two blokes up to their nuts in nothingness yelling "forget it, you will fail, it's not worth it"... well I would choose my path carefully and go for it... as I passed the lost ones I would carefully place a bullet in their heads to put them out of their misery... mostly for attempting to distract me from my life-and-death mission.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Davaoeno

biggrin_01.gif Quite right, but... if there are six blokes standing on the other side yelling "come on you can do it, you will not taste success unless you cross that field"... and two blokes up to their nuts in nothingness yelling "forget it, you will fail, it's not worth it"... well I would choose my path carefully and go for it... as I passed the lost ones I would carefully place a bullet in their heads to put them out of their misery... mostly for attempting to distract me from my life-and-death mission.

 

 

 

i nominate jesse for Humanitarian of the Year award !

Link to post
Share on other sites
Jess Bartone

i nominate jesse for Humanitarian of the Year award !

 

I humbly accept.

Link to post
Share on other sites
For Real

This post could lead me to say another LinC Tagline could be....Wowowee for old Kanos

 

Back on topic

 

Its one thing to tell a story about failed marriages with Filipina's (or any lady) , but sadly, all the blame for failed marriages (in this thread and many others on LinC) is way too often proportioned 100% to the poor little lady taken to the other side of the world, needing to embrace a completely different culture. If the husband cannot provide the level of support needed to adjust its her god given right to find a support network...if the network is also bitter jilted ladies thousands of miles form home then so be it.

 

Why won't some blokes just take responsibility for their failures and move on with life's experience. I took a native Aussie os & she left me, I took responsibility and moved on form the experience.

 

I then married took a Pinay OS and back to the RP again and she has done nothing but support me.

 

Our expat travels are not over by a long shot, we will leave the RP (to the 1st world again) as a family in the years ahead & may even retire in the (RP) province if the opportunity is right.

 

If you are thinking of getting married I recommend the due diligence, but the last people I recommend listening to is the ones burned and still blaming the other. If you have a need to have Marriage checklist that overlooks your wife's Body, Mins & Spirit development then don't come crying to me when she takes you to the cleaners...she earned this money from enduring a loveless marriage

Link to post
Share on other sites
KennyF

Well statistics show it would only be two who lost their legs, however... if my mission lay on the other side of the field, should I just shit myself, lay down and cry?

 

No.

Pick another route (or root maybe in this instance).

No one said anyone has to cross that field.

But if I was going to do it, I'd want to know my chances.

 

By the way, you're giving 20% as a fail rate so I guess you're talking about the marriage fail rate?

I'm not, and in this thread never have.

I'm talking failed RELATIONSHIPS.

And I'd put the fail rate for relationships at around 90%. (one got across, 9 are legless)

 

I have no statistics for failed marriage except that the fail rate for 2nd marriages is approximately double that for 1st marriages.

I forget whether that's Oz or USA.

The rebound effect would be a major cause of that I should think.

 

KinP

Link to post
Share on other sites
Jess Bartone

No.

Pick another route (or root maybe in this instance).

No one said anyone has to cross that field.....

 

No.

It was you, Kenny, who framed the analogy. The field, in your analogy, is "Bringing Filipinas To The West", is it not? It is not about chickening out and looking for an escape route (or escape root for that matter). Anyone who is committed to finding a life partner (as opposed to getting a no-strings-attached root) would gladly run across the minefield, picking off the legless losers along the way.

 

You see, the "mines" are easily spotted... self-absorbed losers step on them all the time (those who seek a perfect face/body/housemaid/servant/whore/mother/scape goat without a "worthy" opinion or the brain to voice it).

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..