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10 Common Myths About Bringing Filipinas To The West


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There is truth in this op. Also you can't apply the same cookie cutter to everyone. Some of our asawas when they go west will turn out as Joe said. Some wont. As best as you can learn about your wife as best you can now.

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  • Jess Bartone

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JasonEcos

I think two points to consider are:

 

Many people don't really get to know their partner before marrying. I think thats true even when you are from the same area, and I think it greatly contributes to the divorce rate. I think its even more prevalent when you live on opposite sides of the world. How often do we see people talking about marrying a someone they met online after only spending a few weeks together, and sometimes not meeting at all?

 

The other thing to consider is...people change. I tend to think younger people change more because they are still finding out who they are. When two young people get together and they start changing over the years sometimes they change together....sometimes they drift apart fast. Older people have been through more experiences that shaped them into who they are, and tend to be more set in their ways. Its my personal opinion that when you date someone older, years down the road they are more likely to end up being the same person you fell in love with.

 

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with dating in another age bracket, but often you are setting yourself up for added difficulties....and relationships in general are difficult to begin with.

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And about Joe's #2 point that Filipinos tend to flock together. Well fellas look around. WE ( I am including myself) do this daily on the Forum. So to me thats a human trait and not necessarily a Filipino one.

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3stripes

 

I never said that I had to have a "very young girl,"

although I'll admit that I'm attracted to the younger ones.

 

 

The point of my post had to do with the pitfalls of bringing a woman to the USA, and had nothing to do with ages

one way or the other. You made it about that.

 

 

No, the point of your post was it's better to stay in the PI if you are going to be with girls just out of school and less than half your age.

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For Real

Well said!! They were given brains, so let them use them

 

May I Expand this even further

The women (or "Subject" to some) in the topic have Mind, Body & Spirit

 

I find it repulsive if a Husband does not acknowledge all 3 in the development/life of someone he should love above all others

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sperman

joe kano has put together a very insightful post. (and he does allow for exceptions)

my 1st filipina wife would fit many of his perceptions, plus insane jealousy, and a definite inability to tell the truth. it would have helped as some posters have suggested to live a while with her in the PR. in hindsite it would have been better to live with her before marrying. but one of the many attributes of PR natives is their innate acting ability, so maybe it would have made no difference.

my 2nd fil. wife is a polar opposite. very honest and a genuine religeous person with heaps in common with me. (but i have no religion). i'd recommend a religeous woman as it gives them guidance for behaviour. she is a wonderful mother also.

i think the vast majority of woman in the PR realize there is no future in the PR and want to escape overseas.

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Headshot

Nobody said "they" are all the same. If fact if you read the disclaimer at the beginning, you would have seen that the Myths are admittedly a "sweeping generalization".

Joe, When I read this, I immediately thought, "I've seen this list before." Is there a credit as to where this list came from if it was copied from someplace else?

Edited by Headshot
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loosehead

May I Expand this even further

The women (or "Subject" to some) in the topic have Mind, Body & Spirit

 

I find it repulsive if a Husband does not acknowledge all 3 in the development/life of someone he should love above all others

 

 

Yes spot on. The most successful filipino/aussie marriages I have seen are where the partners help each other develop to their full potential as a person, as a parent and in their careers. For a filipina to develop to their full potential that generally (but not always) means leaving the Philippines.

 

The OP clearly stated it was a set of myths and generalisations and I found it quite amusing. The camping one cracked me up as I haven't met many filipinas yet who enjoy roughing it but by the same token many filipinas I know are not comfortable in 5 star accommodation as it is wasting money. I can see many of those traits in filipinas I know and some in my wife but as broden showed thay can also be expressed very differently.

Edited by loosehead
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AngelofBroden

You think it's not happening in the Philippines, it might even be worse there (maids, yaya's, cooks, etc...) But as usual there are a lot of exceptions, too..

 

Am I being harsh in my views about my fellow Filipinas? I don't think so - what I am is very observant and aware of my culture, traditions, and upbringing. The only trick to catching the right Pinay is to invest time (not money) getting to know her and her values, not her families because contrary to popular belief- you will be marrying just her, not her entire clan. Her true values will determine how best she will handle needy and often unreasonable relatives, handle or ignore fellow Filipinas who don't seem to have anything to do but outdo each other, and most especially- how hard she will work on making your relationship/marriage work and remain true to you and your shared love.

 

even though I havent been to the pi yet, I have observed this to be true for the most part outside of the pi. and it sucks

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Cipro
The failure rate of western ~ SEA relationships is way higher than the success rate.

 

KinP

 

I'd be interested in a source for this, because the US government tracks such things and says that overall, American men who marry foreign women get divorced 20% of the time, which is pretty good compared to the national average.

 

 

 

 

There is truth in this op. Also you can't apply the same cookie cutter to everyone. Some of our asawas when they go west will turn out as Joe said. Some wont. As best as you can learn about your wife as best you can now.

 

This is true no matter WHERE she's from. There's nothing 100% in life, I'm just going to do what I can to protect myself no matter WHO or IF I get married again.

 

I just think to pretend Filipinas have special rules is silly.

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KennyF

I'd be interested in a source for this, because the US government tracks such things and says that overall, American men who marry foreign women get divorced 20% of the time, which is pretty good compared to the national average.

 

I'm suggesting the rate of failed relationships, not marriage.

 

KinP

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I think too many posters assume that filippina wives are not happy where they are and actually want to move to their husbands country....some do and some don't.

My wife doesn't want to move away from her town and her family. she could if she wanted to, but the kids are happy and well looked after, she has everything she needs and she is happy being close to family and friends... Fortunately for me I would much prefer to retire in the RP at 55 rather than work in Australia till I'm 65... that makes us all happy.

Edited by ILPI
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quit_yume

i think the op's list should be taken very seriously. but i have noticed that some couples seem to have more trouble than others. i know of a lot of filipinas here that are very happily married to their men here whether they are close to the same age or not.. but i also know of a good number that are in bad relationships. what seems to be a big factor in common for the failed relationships is education level of the filipina. i noticed on some military bases most of the filipinas are hs level only and some not even that. seems that nearly all of those relationships that i know of like that dont last.. but the ones that i have seen that marry non-military and have college degrees seem to assimilate well without compromising or stressing the marriage too much.

 

but i will say that i have yet to see one filipina here not struggle with home sickness even if her home environment in phils was a terrible situation. they all miss the street food, the karaoke, the constant visiting of one another to wile away the hours and their families.

 

so from what i have witnessed, lack of education for the filipina is the single biggest common denominator for failure to assimilate and failed relationships, not age differences.

 

-quito

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Cipro

I'm suggesting the rate of failed relationships, not marriage.

 

KinP

 

Cool, how can I get my Filipina GF here in the USA to see if that relationship fails or not without marrying her?

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KennyF

Cool, how can I get my Filipina GF here in the USA to see if that relationship fails or not without marrying her?

 

You don't.

You move to RP and marry her here.

If after 2 or 3 years everything is OK you maybe try moving to the states.

 

KinP

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