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Father-in-law has passed away


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OK, I've got a couple of stupid questions:

 

1. Isn't the cost a burial a lot of money for a regular Filipino family? How do they cope?

2. After a few days of lying in the house doesn't the body begin to smell? (this was the 'stupid' question)

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It varies slightly depending on your wifes familys faith. If they are catholics

Well

Most of the organization is done by the funeral homes. St Peter is probably the best-known here, catering for rich and poor alike. They make available all that is required, from coffin and embalming

OK, I've got a couple of stupid questions:

 

1. Isn't the cost a burial a lot of money for a regular Filipino family? How do they cope?

2. After a few days of lying in the house doesn't the body begin to smell? (this was the 'stupid' question)

 

I'll answer the 2nd question first: The body is embalmed. Blood is drawn and formalin is injected.

 

On the first question: You'll be surprised with the donation.

 

Last year a good-for-nothing (an a-hole specially when drunk)cousin died. Zero balance upon his death. A nephew sent noticed to the clan including those abroad. Was able to collect something like P40T.

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OK, I've got a couple of stupid questions:

 

1. Isn't the cost a burial a lot of money for a regular Filipino family? How do they cope?

2. After a few days of lying in the house doesn't the body begin to smell? (this was the 'stupid' question)

 

1. Cost is high, but pride is too; nobody wants to be considered a cheap skate, The poor opt for mass graves and the family may carry plywood coffins to the cemetery. Plots cost as low as P500 then, renewable every 5 years (I think). There is no mass, no wake, and the body is "discharged" within one or two days.

Most other families have relatives married or working abroad who are then expected to carry the load of the financial burden. Don't forget, families are very big, so there is bound to be a sponsor; the rest will be shared by the others.

Some with foresight insure themselves and may have a block in the family grave. All of this does of course not apply to the Chinese and Muslim communities.

 

2. Bodies are embalmed, preserved so they will not lose form and consistency too soon. Coffins remain open and the dead are dressed up for the benefit of those taking a last glance.

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OK, I've got a couple of stupid questions:

 

1. Isn't the cost a burial a lot of money for a regular Filipino family? How do they cope?

2. After a few days of lying in the house doesn't the body begin to smell? (this was the 'stupid' question)

 

 

Yes

Edited by Elinel
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lazydays

I just experienced the death of my father-in-law and returned from the Philippines this past weekend. The cost for the funeral home was P75,000, this included the body being displayed for 3 days, embalming, and taking the body to the church for 5 days of viewing and then on to the cemetery for burial. The cemetery charge was P88,000 for the burial plot. I'm told there is a premium when buying a plot when needed rather than in advance. P700 was paid to a woman to plant grass on the plot after burial and then P900 for a years worth of plot maintenance. The Catholic Church charged us P5000 a day for the room adjacent to the Church where the body was displayed for 5 days total P25000. A different priest came every day to say mass at a stipend paid to the Priest of P350. The Church charged P1500 for the "choir" which only consisted of two people and then another amount for the funeral mass (cant remember amount). Family and guests for the viewings have to be fed each day. Also reception after the burial had to be catered at a cost of P12,500. Then there was the Aunt who invited us out to dinner and brought 10 relatives and we had 15 and guess who ended up being presented the bill (P8,800). Then there was the brother in Manila who had to be bought a plane ticket otherwise he couldn't come.

 

Relatives in the states collected donations and the woman who was in charge of sending the money to the Philippines (my wife's 80 year old Aunt) was killed in a car accident on the way to withdraw money from her bank. To date, that money has not arrived.

 

Wow,kind of expensive when compared to a non catholic western burial.

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Wow this is quite an eye opener...so like Cary said (i think) $5,000 USD for each member of the foreigner's immediate (in-law) family including grandparents, brothers, sisters, parents, kids....I hope I die first haha...

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lazydays

Wow this is quite an eye opener...so like Cary said (i think) $5,000 USD for each member of the foreigner's immediate (in-law) family including grandparents, brothers, sisters, parents, kids....I hope I die first haha...

 

I can't help thinking,would they rustle up that ammount for the foreigners burial,or would he end up on a compost heap Lol.

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washingtonian88

My stepfather had just passed away... a few weeks ago.

 

He had some kind of SS burial benefits and when he died there was someone from the Social Security who sort of paid for the embalming, coffin, plot... etc etc, all the burial basics (including funeral flowers too).

 

The 'showing of the body' - I really do not know the proper term for this... anyway, the place behind the church charged P500 a day (had to be 7 days so for that P3,500). They have to be up all day and night.

 

The last ride to the cemetery, and people's snacks, the extras.... it costs me P35k (out of pocket, my pocket).

 

Then now, after the burial and everything else...they have to do some kind of 40 consecutive nights- prayer for the dead so his soul will finally leave this earth (which will end Oct 30th).

 

I was never aware of all these things. I am Catholic, raised Catholic. I was very young when my grandpa and aunt died.

 

So this is the first time I was made aware of all expenses and traditions/culture (whatever you call that). And also to mention the heartache of losing someone in the family.

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Thankyou to all who have replied to this thread.The better half has now had chance to read through the posts and she is in agreement with most of what's been said. As for me, well, as i've already stated, i'm no novice when it comes to PI and pretty much nothing that happens there shocks or susrprises me anymore but this is a new thing for me.I think i'm now fairly comfortable about what's going to happen, though i say that from a distance! I'm in Oz at the moment, so the fun doesn't really start till i get back there tomorrow.Not wanting to sound cruel, but in many ways his passing will be a blessing to most.For the past 7 years he'd been in and out of hospital so many times and from what i'm hearing from the hospital this last time, it seems the old bloke had now had enough himself.

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shadow

WOW! From reading this thread makes me very appreciative that my wife is not Catholic, and comes form a small family!

 

Larry in Dumaguete

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3stripes

Thankyou to all who have replied to this thread.The better half has now had chance to read through the posts and she is in agreement with most of what's been said. As for me, well, as i've already stated, i'm no novice when it comes to PI and pretty much nothing that happens there shocks or susrprises me anymore but this is a new thing for me.I think i'm now fairly comfortable about what's going to happen, though i say that from a distance! I'm in Oz at the moment, so the fun doesn't really start till i get back there tomorrow.Not wanting to sound cruel, but in many ways his passing will be a blessing to most.For the past 7 years he'd been in and out of hospital so many times and from what i'm hearing from the hospital this last time, it seems the old bloke had now had enough himself.

 

 

Sorry for your loss

 

I really cannot believe anyone would pay $5K for a funeral in the PI. No wonder they see foreigners as either cash rich or dumb.

 

The thought of paying the Catholic church anything after what they done to the country is amazing

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washingtonian88

Just like anything else.... burial, wedding, baptism, bday parties, valentines, christmas...

 

Priorities, beliefs, and finances - (difference between who can afford and can not afford).

 

Those who spend more than I did P35k (35,000 pesoses) for a burial a loved one, great for them!

It's not being dumb or stupid.

 

I sent personal money because it's all I could afford and IT MADE ME feel good. It had nothing to do with my religion, or my church.

They can do without my money and will find a way. The end result would be the same, 6 ft under the ground.

Edited by washingtonian88
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washingtonian88

WOW! From reading this thread makes me very appreciative that my wife is not Catholic, and comes form a small family!

 

Larry in Dumaguete

 

 

 

 

Sir...

 

Yes, you are very lucky that she is not Catholic.

I just do not get the idea why having a small or large family have anything to do with burial cost for a loved one.

 

I have nothing against cremation. My honey has told me he'd like to be cremated but if I die first, he wouldn't go that route as I have so many in my family and so many friends that would do anything, to make sure I get buried the way 'we believe proper' that would be within the budget that everyone CAN AFFORD. He'd respect 'our tradition, our belief, our culture.'

.

And I am sure cremation is the cheapest and most practical way that you and your wife have planned for each other when that day comes.

Other way is also donating or selling the body too for research.

 

When my day comes... I don't think it matters if I get cremated or sliced up into pieces. But I am pretty sure going that route will not make any of my grieving family ease their pain.

Edited by washingtonian88
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Thanks Trey. As I said I gave my wife the $5k because it was her father and they could not afford it and also to give Lola a budget because her husband was gone. I could afford it, Reading these posts I now see where the money went even though i was not there.

 

 

 

Just like anything else.... burial, wedding, baptism, bday parties, valentines, christmas...

 

Priorities, beliefs, and finances - (difference between who can afford and can not afford).

 

Those who spend more than I did P35k (35,000 pesoses) for a burial a loved one, great for them!

It's not being dumb or stupid.

 

I sent personal money because it's all I could afford and IT MADE ME feel good. It had nothing to do with my religion, or my church.

They can do without my money and will find a way. The end result would be the same, 6 ft under the ground.

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Just like anything else.... burial, wedding, baptism, bday parties, valentines, christmas...

 

Priorities, beliefs, and finances - (difference between who can afford and can not afford).

 

Those who spend more than I did P35k (35,000 pesoses) for a burial a loved one, great for them!

It's not being dumb or stupid.

 

I sent personal money because it's all I could afford and IT MADE ME feel good. It had nothing to do with my religion, or my church.

They can do without my money and will find a way. The end result would be the same, 6 ft under the ground.

I can assure you we won't be spending anything like $5k. As we are the ones who have paid all the medical bills plus medicines plus plus plus for so many years, it has drained our resources severely. We will pay what we can afford and know that we have done all we can. As you say, the end result will be the same.

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