Jump to content

Wedding Costs ??


How much would (did) you spend on your wedding ?  

61 members have voted

  1. 1. How much would (did) you spend on your wedding ?



Recommended Posts

i don't think it's so much about the cost of the wedding but rather two people who need to be on the same page

 

 

I'd have to agree with this statement.

 

 

Though $3k wedding doesn't sound like a lot of money at first, but realize I just spent close to $4K on the initial visit/meeting. So just for the wedding she started with a budget of around $4k. That doesn't include my flight, the honeymoon, rings, or the other costs associated with the 3 week trip I'm planning to marry her. I will be digging into my long term savings to fund this one, I do think she's worth it, but I only have some much cash sitting around. There is also the upcoming visa fee's and costs associated with her getting to the US (flight), so maybe I'm suffering a little bit of sticker shock, lol.

 

Her parents/family are nice folks (3 out of 4 kids in college or graduated) but not "rich" by any means. We have discussed "helping them" in the future and agreed that she will handle that on her own. I expect her to contribute a part of her future salary towards household expenses/living costs and what she does with the rest (blow it on clothes/jewellry.or help her family) is up to her. Same page on this one I think.

 

I do appreciate all the comments made in this thread, very interesting to see all the points of view........IF money wasn't an issue (and when isn't it), I would splash out for the wedding, alas, I'm just another salary slave paying a mortgage and child support to my first ex, lol.

 

 

That must be one hell of a wedding if it does not include honeymoon and rings. Are they inviting half the town? I would set a limit on how much you are willing to spend and stick to it. There is no reason to go bankrupt trying to please them. Otherwise you are going to get taken for a ride and you won't like where it ends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 122
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • RokNRich

    12

  • EAGLE

    9

  • broden

    8

  • Jess Bartone

    6

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

A young boy was knocked down by a motorcyclist in the Wicklow Gap in Ireland. The Yamaha sped away. A motorist saw the boy at the side of the road and stopping asked the boy if he needed a Dr.? "N

When you say, "... comes from a good family," does that mean she comes from a family with money? Or, does she come from middle or lower income family? I know many "good" families here that are poor as

Obviously the thin mountain air has gotten to you while cresting the high mountain pass. Come back down to reality. Not all of us have the privilege or sponsors to be a race car driver. Lucky you.

Posted Images

how more you give how more they spent (Because they think, u give, so you have enough)

 

so if they want 3000, say i have two...and say, thats all I got....

 

they 'l figure it out, and you have a great wedding....don't worry

Link to post
Share on other sites
Though $3k wedding doesn't sound like a lot of money at first, but realize I just spent close to $4K on the initial visit/meeting.

 

Wait. You have only just met her for the first time, and you are already planning a wedding? I don't suppose slowing down a bit and taking a step back would be acceptable to you? Why the rush? She pregnant?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Duke,

 

She's talking guest list of 200, I suggested 100, she's almost agreed.

 

Toshi,

 

I like that advice too, thanks. Hopefully she can have her "dream wedding" without breaking the bank.

 

 

Wait. You have only just met her for the first time, and you are already planning a wedding? I don't suppose slowing down a bit and taking a step back would be acceptable to you? Why the rush? She pregnant?

 

 

Nope, just don't have time to spend over there getting to know one another better............I got divorced a couple of years ago and don't really enjoy the single life....started chatting with Filipino girls over a year ago...ran through the list of scammers, dead beats, and liars until I met this one.......she's cool, hard working, good looking, etc...so I took a trip and spent almost a month together in person, popped the question.....we talk and chat daily and besides the wedding details get along great.........

Edited by RokNRich
Link to post
Share on other sites

People, westerners that is, typically make a mistake when meeting, and getting to know Filipinas. What many of us do not realize is, women here are much different than western women - MUCH. Heck, the Filipino culture is like night and day, in comparison with our own.

 

We, being new to their culture, therefore very ignorant of their culture, do not realize that, in many cases (most Filipinas I would say), are happy to do whatever you are happy doing. This especially applies to younger Filipinas, certainly one in her early 20's. With them being so young, and certainly inexperienced about most things in the world, they look to us (older guys) to learn.

 

With that said, I am quite sure she has opinions of her own. But, I doubt very seriously that she is going to actually express them, as long as she is being advised by the family. As long as they are advising her, she is going to focus on making them happy, even more than herself.

 

So, with everything as has been stated, the primary concern here is your (collective) happiness. You and she should sit down together, not with the family or anyone else, and plan this the way you both want it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I probably spent somewhere in the 150,000 - 200,000 range for a nice church wedding and a poolside reception at Alta Vista.

 

It never set any "precedent" for the family. Nobody has ever asked us to buy them a house and we send no monthly allowance to anyone. If they expect things like that afterward, they probably were not a "good" family from the start in my opinion. I was the 2nd out 4 foreigners now married into the family and they don't try to take advantage of any of us.

 

My wife has "paid back" way more than the wedding expenses in love and nice gifts bought for me with her paychecks. :cooking:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Your talking about skimping on your Wife's dream ?

 

The dream she's had since she was a little girl ??

 

I thought you loved her ?

 

And by skimping, your talking about 3,000 USD, which you would piss away back home anyway ??

 

Then worried this might be the start of more ?

 

Who is taking advantage of who ???

 

Obviously the thin mountain air has gotten to you while cresting the high mountain pass. Come back down to reality. Not all of us have the privilege or sponsors to be a race car driver. Lucky you. Our dreams are a bit more down to earth. $3000 versus $1000.....humm....still married, still had a nice wedding and a new fridge and a big screen Tv......and a microwave humm......thats a hard decision.......$3000 will not make that honeymoon any sweeter. Common folks think a bit different......I did drive a car around the track in Indy at about 150 mph, does that count for anything?

 

 

Thats a silly response ?? Im guessing your drunk, otherwise you wouldnt have attacked me personally, when I give my opinion.

 

What makes you think im a racing driver ?? :biggrin_01:

 

If I could afford 100 dollars for a wedding, i would spend it. If I could afford 10,000 dollars, I would spend that.

 

If he can afford 3,000 dollars, in my opinion, he should spend that ! For him, for his wife, and for his/her family !

 

A microwave/tv etc etc. WTF ???? I think your missing the point. This isnt a business deal. Getting married to a woman, isnt like bargainning for a used vehicle. Its a wedding, supposed to be once in a life time celabration. Although costs should always be saved when possible, theres a time to be mean, and a time not to.

 

Maybe this is a culture clash of a different kind. I dont say this in a nasty way, but it seems that many americans dont agree with me on this. Maybe its because I am an Irish catholic, and I believe weddings to be worth more than a used car.

I was not attacking you.....only pointing out that mine, yours and his lifestyle and discretionary cash may vary. His post shows concern about the amount of money needed to have a nice wedding. I pointed out that it can be done for less and still have a nice one. I agree a marriage is not a business deal, but maybe it should be! I agree that it suppose to be a once in a life time celebration, but the truth is, most will end in divorce or abandonment. Obviously the OP realizes he has other obligations as well, ex-wife, and child support. Not to mention the Visa process for the new Bride, ticket to get her there and some type of support for her during the process. Now the first thing a new couple needs to do is understand and set financial priorities. Maybe a microwave is not to high on his list, I give you that. But, airfares, Visa's and support are right at the top. I wise responsible man would recognize this even if his bride to be don't. If he can have a nice wedding for $1000 the other $2000 would pay for airfare. He admits he's a worker bee and is having to dig deep into savings to pull this off. I see that as a red flag, not a checkered one. Maybe a pit stop and reevaluation is needed before starting down the other side of that mountain. Who's taking advantage of who? Time will tell.

And by the way....I was not drunk......but your comment does remind me of an Ex-wife anytime we disagreed. As for thinking you may be a race car driver. Your picture of the Marlboro Red car and the link at the bottom of your post might lead one to assume that.Me on Fazer 600 over mountain pass in Ireland

Edited by m60man
Link to post
Share on other sites

Your talking about skimping on your Wife's dream ?

 

The dream she's had since she was a little girl ??

 

I thought you loved her ?

 

And by skimping, your talking about 3,000 USD, which you would piss away back home anyway ??

 

Then worried this might be the start of more ?

 

Who is taking advantage of who ???

 

Obviously the thin mountain air has gotten to you while cresting the high mountain pass. Come back down to reality. Not all of us have the privilege or sponsors to be a race car driver. Lucky you. Our dreams are a bit more down to earth. $3000 versus $1000.....humm....still married, still had a nice wedding and a new fridge and a big screen Tv......and a microwave humm......thats a hard decision.......$3000 will not make that honeymoon any sweeter. Common folks think a bit different......I did drive a car around the track in Indy at about 150 mph, does that count for anything?

 

 

Thats a silly response ?? Im guessing your drunk, otherwise you wouldnt have attacked me personally, when I give my opinion.

 

What makes you think im a racing driver ?? :biggrin_01:

 

If I could afford 100 dollars for a wedding, i would spend it. If I could afford 10,000 dollars, I would spend that.

 

If he can afford 3,000 dollars, in my opinion, he should spend that ! For him, for his wife, and for his/her family !

 

A microwave/tv etc etc. WTF ???? I think your missing the point. This isnt a business deal. Getting married to a woman, isnt like bargainning for a used vehicle. Its a wedding, supposed to be once in a life time celabration. Although costs should always be saved when possible, theres a time to be mean, and a time not to.

 

Maybe this is a culture clash of a different kind. I dont say this in a nasty way, but it seems that many americans dont agree with me on this. Maybe its because I am an Irish catholic, and I believe weddings to be worth more than a used car.

I was not attacking you.....only pointing out that mine, yours and his lifestyle and discretionary cash may vary. His post shows concern about the amount of money needed to have a nice wedding. I pointed out that it can be done for less and still have a nice one. I agree a marriage is not a business deal, but maybe it should be! I agree that it suppose to be a once in a life time celebration, but the truth is, most will end in divorce or abandonment. Obviously the OP realizes he has other obligations as well, ex-wife, and child support. Not to mention the Visa process for the new Bride, ticket to get her there and some type of support for her during the process. Now the first thing a new couple needs to do is understand and set financial priorities. Maybe a microwave is not to high on his list, I give you that. But, airfares, Visa's and support are right at the top. I wise responsible man would recognize this even if his bride to be don't. If he can have a nice wedding for $1000 the other $2000 would pay for airfare. He admits he's a worker bee and is having to dig deep into savings to pull this off. I see that as a red flag, not a checkered one. Maybe a pit stop and reevaluation is needed before starting down the other side of that mountain. Who's taking advantage of who? Time will tell.

And by the way....I was not drunk......but your comment does remind me of an Ex-wife anytime we disagreed. As for thinking you may be a race car driver. Your picture of the Marlboro Red car and the link at the bottom of your post might lead one to assume that.Me on Fazer 600 over mountain pass in Ireland

 

A young boy was knocked down by a motorcyclist in the Wicklow Gap in Ireland.

The Yamaha sped away.

A motorist saw the boy at the side of the road and stopping asked the boy if he needed a Dr.?

"Nah" the boy said.

Perhaps I could get the Priest for you? the motorist offered.

"Nah" the boy said "I'm not is the mood for Sex"...........

 

EAGLE Tom

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
The Mason

I gave my wife the option of a big wedding or a big honeymoon, and she chose the honeymoon. Her family is spread throughout the world, so getting the family together for a fancy wedding was never a big priority.

 

Our wedding was a civil ceremony followed by a reception of about 15 people at our house. We spent about 35k on our wedding, with about 30k of that spent on rings.

 

Our honeymoon was a different story. We spent 500k for a month-long trip to Thailand and Cambodia.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AngelofBroden

Hello RokNRich, and everyone :biggrin_01:

 

I would just like to add (in my usual long-winded manner) to what my husband (Broden)already said. Ours was a church wedding in 2002, and yes, we spent just about $1,000.00 (probably about 55K PhP that time if I remember correctly), although Broden sent me way, way more than that over the period of six months to prepare for the wedding. I shopped for the materials of my dress and those for my entourage. I had our dresses made by a nice enough boutique whose owner worked in Familia House (a local shop for dress materials and what nots). Broden's suit was already made during his last trip prior to the wedding (and yes, the cost was included in the 1KUSD). I shopped for the guys' barongs, pants, and shoes. My mother and mother-in-law (even when my husband's mom wasn't going to attend the wedding because of health reasons) had matching dresses, my father's barong and pants were also tailor-made. Bride's maids and groom's men had brand new shoes. I shopped for materials for my favors. I made over a hundred of those cute little baskets that I painted and decorated myself, I have different ones for the candle, veil and cord sponsors, and wooden coaster sets in baskets which I also decorated, for our principal sponsors (3 married couples, all close to me and whom my husband came to be friends with over the years, not some rich neighbor or local politician we don't really know). We had a beautiful 3-tiered cake, video/photo, rented the wedding car, and hired a beautician for hair and make up, we bought flowers that my cousin used to decorate her place for the reception. We paid the church 6KPhP including flowers and decorations. We gave nice watches to my maid of honor and my bride's maids. The groom's men also got watches. We gave 100USD to our wedding singer (he's a close friend of the family, a blind, very talented guy), and 500PhP each to the rest of the small choir (our choir was composed of my brother, my cousin's son on the keyboard, the blind guy, and two of my brother's friends). Our wedding reception was originally going to be in a hotel, about 100 people. But my father passed away barely a month before the wedding and I did not feel like having a big wedding without him. So it turned out to be an intimate solemn ceremony at Our Lady of Lourdes Parish in Labangon, and a reception of about 30 people in my cousin's house. She and her siblings did a great job decorating the whole place and the food was great! All these cost us only 1,000USD back then.

 

Having said all that. I'd like to say, that yes, a nice, fancy wedding, is every girl's dream. But it doesn't have to be big to be nice, nor should it cost a lot of money that could have been spent well into the future of your marriage. Being a Filipina, I know exactly what pressures and stress families and even relatives and neighbors can put a bride in! A wedding in the Philippines is one of the best occasions that a family can show off! "My son-in-law is a foreigner, my daughter is going to have a Cinderella wedding!" Don't get me wrong, a Filipina (or her family) would try to demand the same grand wedding even if she is marrying a fellow Pinoy. It is just what it is. The thing is, she is not marrying all by herself. She has a partner, and she needs to bring her partner's wishes into all this. Yes, it is nice to respect her family's wishes, but if the demand is unreasonable, then I think you have to put your foot down and let your wishes be known.

 

I am a Filipina, and a Pasilian at that, there are no neighborhood and relatives as meddling as mine are! They wanted to run the show, I told them no. My godmother who also happens to be my aunt(Mama's younger sister), thought she was going to be one of my sponsors not only because of the relation but also because she was rich! She got mad at me and held a grudge when I told her no. She told me she never attends a wedding where she isn't a principal sponsor, and that she gives expensive gifts. I told her fine, keep your gift.. you're still welcome to go to the wedding, but not as a sponsor. She never talked to me until I visited in 2008! I always told my parents that if I got married, I would only have real, good friends in my sponsor and guest list. Wealth, fame, politics would never figure into my most special day. There are just so many aspects of our culture and traditions that are not very desirable and I promised myself I would never be bullied into doing what I didn't want or respect.

 

Seeing as your lady is very young, it would be tough for her to say no to her family. But if she loves you truly she would talk to you and make plans with you, not with her family. A beautiful, frilly wedding is possible for less than 3,000USD. You may be able to afford it (as some posters had pointed out, it's not at all high in western standards) but if your heart is not in total agreement with the budget then by all means tell your girl so. I repeat, a wedding is not just the bride's, but the groom's as well. You have the right to go to church and wait for her at the altar with a whole-hearted, happy smile on your face. Heck, if I had known the extent that my husband loves zombie movies back then, I would have scoured the whole city for somebody to make us a gross, bloody, zombie wedding cake!

Edited by AngelofBroden
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW, you only met her once, now you are discussing with the parents already how to support other siblings, digging into your long term savings etc.

 

 

 

WOW WOW WOW

 

 

Can I say "way over your head"

 

 

Your future wife will not understand that the money rein ends after the wedding, she will think that this is just the start, you have to keep Filipinas and their clan on the short leash when it comes to money, they will spend it faster than you can make it.

 

This would be different if she would know you already for a few years and know your financial situation.

 

 

Don't support anybody from her family, don't commit, your wife can do that with her money if both of you agree to that.

 

Take it easy man.

 

For me, our wedding was rather cheap, but we go on vacation twice/year, drive a nice car, don't have to turn over every penny, why would I risk years of my life for a lavish wedding, com on guys, don't give me BS like "she deserves it" "how much is she worth?",

 

 

FOR ONE DAY? And after that?

 

 

Nope, not for me.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Jess Bartone

.....and a Pasilian at that.....

 

Thanks for this story Angel, you have a beautiful way with words, and a spirit to match.

 

Hmmm... "Pasilian". I searched for the meaning and I found four answers: a suggestion that pasil meant romantic; Pasil, a municipality in Kaliga province northern Luzon; Pasil fish market, and Pasil Cebu. I rode around Cebu on a motorbike quite a lot and never heard of Pasil before. You're proud to be a Pasilian, so it must be a very special place. Sorry off topic but I'm curious.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Admin (Retired)
broden

.....and a Pasilian at that.....

 

Thanks for this story Angel, you have a beautiful way with words, and a spirit to match.

 

Hmmm... "Pasilian". I searched for the meaning and I found four answers: a suggestion that pasil meant romantic; Pasil, a municipality in Kaliga province northern Luzon; Pasil fish market, and Pasil Cebu. I rode around Cebu on a motorbike quite a lot and never heard of Pasil before. You're proud to be a Pasilian, so it must be a very special place. Sorry off topic but I'm curious.

Pasil Cebu her barangay an infamous place and a great place

 

she fell right in to bed after her post

 

she's as proud of being from pasil as i am of being from brooklyn

she'll tell you all about it if you want

Edited by broden
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Admin (Retired)
broden

my wifes right i do like the zombie movies and really all that omega man kinds stuff

 

but i'd much rather of had the traditional wedding we had including the cake than a zombie based one

 

unless, of course, the zombies were already attacking. i might of considered it then

maybe we could of even taken a cue from the jews but instead of stepping on a glass we could of shotgunned a zombie together to seal the deal

Link to post
Share on other sites
Jess Bartone

.....she'll tell you all about it if you want

 

That would be great, like reading Angel's posts... especially an article about her home barangay, perhaps in the Living in Cebu section? I'm not a city boy but I do love to visit the city from time to time, especially places I have read about, and then seeing that place for real.

 

To give the appearance of staying on topic, I will say this: province weddings are much cheaper than city weddingsbiggrin_01.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..