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Wedding Costs ??


How much would (did) you spend on your wedding ?  

61 members have voted

  1. 1. How much would (did) you spend on your wedding ?



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smokey

how old are you ?? if its a big age difference i would say .... get ready for the adventure of your life and make sure your seat belt is securely tightened

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When you say, "... comes from a good family," does that mean she comes from a family with money? Or, does she come from middle or lower income family? I know many "good" families here that are poor as

Obviously the thin mountain air has gotten to you while cresting the high mountain pass. Come back down to reality. Not all of us have the privilege or sponsors to be a race car driver. Lucky you.

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If the fiance is indeed from a good (well off) family then her family should be able to contribute towards the costs of an elaborate wedding. A former gf of mine sister was wed in April. It was a very big affair. There were a total of ten sponsors from both families that contributed to the wedding costs. Ask her about sponsors from her family if she wants a big big wedding.

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I've been in your position and I don't envy you. It is normal for a lady to want a beautiful wedding. It is something that every girl has dreamed of. She also wants to please her parents. She is between a rock and a hard place. She wants a nice wedding without pissing you off and she wants to please her parents without pissing them off. You just need to sit down with her and let her know that you are not rich and that the money you are getting ready to spend on the wedding came from hard work. She needs to understand that you are willing to spend money when it's a special occasion but once she is in the USA then things will be different.

 

I agree with the posters who have warned about setting a bad precedent. Be very careful about what you do now because it will set the ground work for what will happen later in your marriage. Don't kid yourself, you are being tested and watched to see what you do. Her parents are interested in appearances and how they will look to their neighbors. All at your cost. The bottom line is that if she really cares for you and wants to get married then she will make concessions. If she starts making veiled threats about calling the wedding off or saying you don't care for her just because you are trying to control spending then you should reevaluate things. Don't be afraid to step back and postpone things if you start having doubts. Marriage is a long term commitment so take your time and be sure you are making the right decision. It took me three trips to the Philippines to meet and marry the right lady. It was worth it because we have been married for 17 years. The last thing you want is to have her in the USA spending money like a drunken sailor in a whorehouse.

Edited by TheDuke
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When you say, "... comes from a good family," does that mean she comes from a family with money? Or, does she come from middle or lower income family? I know many "good" families here that are poor as church mice.

 

 

 

 

I have been married in this country twice.

 

The first time was in 1994, January - or, maybe February? Anyway, It cost about $300 USD back then. One half of that was for fixing the wedding, the other half for the wedding.

 

The second time I was married in the Philippines, it cost something like $150 USD, because it was a simple wedding at Villa Teresita.

 

Both were civil weddings with a judge.

 

There is no way in hell I would ever pay that much for a wedding.

 

The problem is, many of these girls would never, ever ask a Filipino to spend that kind of money on a wedding. Hell, many of them, if they do get married, don't even buy wedding rings.

 

Those sorts of things - costly weddings, wedding rings, etc., are only for the rich.

 

 

I laughed when I read your comment about the wedding rings are only for the rich. I just bought my wife a $20.00 el cheapo wedding band off of Ebay a few days ago to wear to the Philippines when we visit in November so she doesn't have to wear her expensive diamond ring and she was happy as hell. It actually looks pretty good. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=400138077953&var=670001498778&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT

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When you say, "... comes from a good family," does that mean she comes from a family with money? Or, does she come from middle or lower income family? I know many "good" families here that are poor as church mice.

 

 

 

I must have missed this the first time. By good family, I mean good people. Certainly not rich and I doubt anyone in the whole clan has ever had a 150,000 peso wedding before.........

 

Changing name to "between a rock and a hard place"

 

 

 

 

surrender.gif

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Well, traditionally speaking if your wife is not the first to marry then you may need to consider Nilakaran as an additional expense. This could be a red flag for future spending like your friend points out but only you can answer that. If "good family" means $$$ and they want a true Engrandeng Kasal, then they can contribute as well. Also remember the traditional Pamahiin or Tinohoan "stuffing ceremony". thumbs_up.gif

 

T

 

Anyone care to translate this one ? LOL.

 

 

Also, she's 23, I'm 42.....cheers.gif

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broden

i didn't include wedding or engagement rings in our cost either as we wear my parents rings

 

priceless to us more so than any we could of bought

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Your talking about skimping on your Wife's dream ?

 

The dream she's had since she was a little girl ??

 

I thought you loved her ?

 

And by skimping, your talking about 3,000 USD, which you would piss away back home anyway ??

 

Then worried this might be the start of more ?

 

Who is taking advantage of who ???

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shadow

Your talking about skimping on your Wife's dream ?

 

The dream she's had since she was a little girl ??

 

I thought you loved her ?

 

And by skimping, your talking about 3,000 USD, which you would piss away back home anyway ??

 

Then worried this might be the start of more ?

 

Who is taking advantage of who ???

 

 

Sure enough. Then next year you can start working on the dream of a 5 bedroom house with pool,... for the parents!

 

Larry in Dumaguete

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When you ask how much for a wedding, you have to specify what it includes, rings, reception, honey moon?

 

Also, you are saying that she is from a well of family, tradition calls that the brides family pays anyway, but you make it sound as if you would have to pay.

 

If you have to pay, set the standard today in a way you want.

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smokey

Your talking about skimping on your Wife's dream ?

 

The dream she's had since she was a little girl ??

 

I thought you loved her ?

 

And by skimping, your talking about 3,000 USD, which you would piss away back home anyway ??

 

Then worried this might be the start of more ?

 

Who is taking advantage of who ???

 

 

 

 

 

 

its not this 3,000 he is worried about but the next 3,000 plus a few 000

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For Real
Sure enough. Then next year you can start working on the dream of a 5 bedroom house with pool,... for the parents!

 

Larry in Dumaguete

 

Most people in this thread agree that RockNRich needs to set a good precedent...and not be taken advantage of for the rest of his life.

There is a very good poll showing what forum members have actually spent on weddings....ultimately this is the private business of the bride & groom (and any other fianciers)...but you can see a very wide range of what forum members have agreed to spend. I doubt anyone argues with the importance of the wedding for the bride.

 

Any man who is then forced into building the 5BR dream house with pool for the parents, for the sake of saving the marriage has made the mistake of marrying the wrong girl...and the wrong family.

 

This situation is mostly avoidable by setting the rules & doing the research before marrying...if any forum member is in this situation (of ridiculous financial demands) has the choice of acknowledging the situation (they made a mistake) and can a) live with it, :thats-funny: fix the situation with your wife or c) cut your losses & leave the marriage.

 

I fully agree there are scammer's out there (in the whole world)...but not every girl who wants to marry is a scammer!!!

Edited by Admin
edited quoted text.
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broden

there was something i never had to remind my wife about .. actually it never came up at all except from her

 

it's your wedding too

 

what do you want?

 

you will be getting married becoming a team for life (hopefully)

 

teamwork communication give and take 50 50

 

my wife was constantly asking me what i wanted at out wedding about this about that .. i left it all firmly in her hands and she did us proud

 

i'm going to have her post about this in the morning or tomorrow after she gets home from work

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When you say, "... comes from a good family," does that mean she comes from a family with money? Or, does she come from middle or lower income family? I know many "good" families here that are poor as church mice.

 

 

 

I must have missed this the first time. By good family, I mean good people. Certainly not rich and I doubt anyone in the whole clan has ever had a 150,000 peso wedding before.........

 

Changing name to "between a rock and a hard place"

 

 

surrender.gif

 

NAH -- "Rock and Roll" with the Pocket Punches...

 

Good LUCK and enjoy!:thats-funny:

 

Eagle Tom

Edited by EAGLE
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Your talking about skimping on your Wife's dream ?

 

The dream she's had since she was a little girl ??

 

I thought you loved her ?

 

And by skimping, your talking about 3,000 USD, which you would piss away back home anyway ??

 

Then worried this might be the start of more ?

 

Who is taking advantage of who ???

 

 

Sure enough. Then next year you can start working on the dream of a 5 bedroom house with pool,... for the parents!

 

Larry in Dumaguete

 

Well if he's asking the question now, perhaps he shouldnt be getting married at all.

 

That question should have been answered one way or the other, well before he proposed.

 

But also, on your point, its not unusual to build the family a home, quite a common occurance. It is a different culture(I know you know this Larry, just saying).

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