Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
ayala

10 Easy Steps To Become Swine Flu Zealot

Recommended Posts

ayala

Ten EAsy Steps To Become Swine Flu Zealotssss

 

Swine flu vaccine zealots are like zombies... they just keep coming at you, mindless... heartless... empty-headed and a tad funky on the smell, too. But I've noticed from observing the behavior of a few such zealots that not all of them fully comprehend precisely how to act like a mindless vaccine zealot. There's more to it than just parroting whatever the FDA says. You actually have to get with the zealot program if you want to be taken seriously as a swine flu vaccine zealot.

 

So I've put together this handy guide to help them along:

 

Step 1) Loudly proclaim your vaccines are backed by "science," but when critics ask you to produce that science, just tell them you don't have to because "everybody knows they work." (Then grunt and paw at the air from time to time for effect...)

 

Step 2) Practice scoffing. Scoffing is an important skill for swine flu vaccine zealots. When someone asks an intelligent question like, "Where are the placebo-controlled studies that show flu vaccines work at all?" simply scoff at them. This avoids having to answer the question because, as you know, there are no such studies.

 

Step 3) Practice making people feel guilty for not getting the flu shot. Blame them for pandemic. Just ignore the fact that the shot itself has zero ability to actually prevent the spread of influenza and focus on what works: Guilt!

 

Step 4) Spread more fear! Guilt and fear go together like peanut butter and jelly on processed white bread -- a favorite zombie food! In combination, they work like gangbusters if you're trying to scare up some vaccine sales to generate billions of dollars in profits for the drug companies. In the absence of any actual science, just invoke fear! (Hey, it worked for the Patriot Act, too...)

 

Step 5) Remind people that they are not doctors and therefore don't know anything. Then quote some doctor who's pro-vaccine (and probably taking kickbacks from some pharmaceutical company that's been caught committing a felony crime) and declare that no one can question them because they're a doctor. Doctors are God, didn't you know? Just ask all the victims of thalidomide... or Vioxx.

 

Step 6) Strip off the plastic coating on both ends of an extension cord, exposing the wires. Attach the two wires on one end to the temples of your skull, then attach the two exposed wires on the other end to the exposed slots of a live electrical outlet in your home. You are now "WIRED." (Want a free subscription?) This process will destroy any critical thinking regions of your cerebrum, disabling the annoying ability to think for yourself (which can interfere with what the vaccine industry wants you to think instead). Once achieved, you're half-way qualified to being a vaccine zealot, unhindered by critical thinking skills!

 

(Don't forget to grunt, moan and leave your mouth draping open from time to time, or the whole effect will be ruined...)

 

Step 7) Defend mercury as safe. It's not that bad, really. What's a little mercury in your shot anyway? Ignore these inconvenient facts: A typical flu vaccine shot solution is 50,000 parts per billion of mercury. The EPA classifies any substance with more than 200 parts per billion as hazardous waste. (The EPA limit in drinking water is 2 parts per billion.) Thus, the mercury density in a vaccine is 25,000% higher than the level required to be considered hazardous waste. This is injected directly into the bloodstream of infants, children, expectant mothers and senior citizens. What could possibly be dangerous about that?

 

Step 8) Find a bunch of other flu vaccine zealots and quote each other. This is the best part about being a vaccine zealot: It's social! Instead of quoting any actual science to back up your non-position (because there isn't any), all you have to do is quote each other! "The CDC says..." and at the CDC, they say, "The FDA says..." and at the FDA, they say, "The drug maker says..." and at the drug maker, they say, "The researchers said..." and the researchers were quoting the CDC! (I think I remember playing this game in kindergarten... but then I grew up.)

 

Step 9) Tell everyone you're going to receive the flu vaccine yourself, even if you aren't. This creates the impression that you actually believe the vaccine is both safe and effective, even when you secretly suspect it is neither. Of course, no one will really know whether you got the shot or not, so you can still just fake it by claiming you did when you really didn't.

 

Step 10) If all else fails, babble incoherently in a technical medical jargon. Use large Latin words that sound educated. Glare scornfully at all the "small words people." Whatever you say, tell people you read it in a "peer-reviewed medical journal" or picked it up in a "continuing medical education seminar" (almost all of which are sponsored by drug companies, by the way). Hang medical school diplomas on the wall in plain view, preferably over your head (if there's still room there). Tell people how important you are and why no one else is even qualified to ask questions about flu vaccines. Keep up the front!

 

And that, my zombie friends, is how to pull off being a swine flu vaccine zealot. Always carry a spare needle with you, too, because you never know when you're going to need to take a jab at somebody.

 

Coming up next... How to start your own swine flu vaccine cult! (Hint: It all starts at medical school...)

 

In the mean time, folks, keep drinkin' that Thimerosal Kool-Aid. To the three obvious here-your are so advanced at your research that you will immediately know the source of course!yahooBuzzArticleHeadline = "How to be a swine flu vaccine zealot (satire)";yahooBuzzArticleCategory = "health";yahooBuzzArticleType = "text";yahooBuzzArticleId = window.location.href;

Edited by ayala

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On-in-2

Ten EAsy Steps To Become Swine Flu Zealotssss

 

Swine flu vaccine zealots are like zombies... they just keep coming at you, mindless... heartless... empty-headed and a tad funky on the smell, too. But I've noticed from observing the behavior of a few such zealots that not all of them fully comprehend precisely how to act like a mindless vaccine zealot. There's more to it than just parroting whatever the FDA says. You actually have to get with the zealot program if you want to be taken seriously as a swine flu vaccine zealot.

 

So I've put together this handy guide to help them along:

 

 

Plagiarism!

 

You didn't 'put together' that handy guide. It was created by someone who understands grammar, spelling and punctuation.

 

Thanks for proving your posts (can) be lies, as well as they (can) be just plain stupid.

 

Guess what...we're not laughing -with- you!

 

Har de har har

 

Pete of New Hampshire

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ayala

You have won your zealot wings.But then it was EZ for you.Lets wait for the other two to come in and quote you.

 

 

Plagiarism!

 

You didn't 'put together' that handy guide. It was created by someone who understands grammar, spelling and punctuation.

 

Thanks for proving your posts (can) be lies, as well as they (can) be just plain stupid.

 

Guess what...we're not laughing -with- you!

 

Har de har har

 

Pete of New Hampshire

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Mason

Ten EAsy Steps To Become Swine Flu Zealotssss

 

Swine flu vaccine zealots are like zombies... they just keep coming at you, mindless... heartless... empty-headed and a tad funky on the smell, too. But I've noticed from observing the behavior of a few such zealots that not all of them fully comprehend precisely how to act like a mindless vaccine zealot. There's more to it than just parroting whatever the FDA says. You actually have to get with the zealot program if you want to be taken seriously as a swine flu vaccine zealot.

 

So I've put together this handy guide to help them along:

 

Step 1) Loudly proclaim your vaccines are backed by "science," but when critics ask you to produce that science, just tell them you don't have to because "everybody knows they work." (Then grunt and paw at the air from time to time for effect...)

 

Step 2) Practice scoffing. Scoffing is an important skill for swine flu vaccine zealots. When someone asks an intelligent question like, "Where are the placebo-controlled studies that show flu vaccines work at all?" simply scoff at them. This avoids having to answer the question because, as you know, there are no such studies.

 

Step 3) Practice making people feel guilty for not getting the flu shot. Blame them for pandemic. Just ignore the fact that the shot itself has zero ability to actually prevent the spread of influenza and focus on what works: Guilt!

 

Step 4) Spread more fear! Guilt and fear go together like peanut butter and jelly on processed white bread -- a favorite zombie food! In combination, they work like gangbusters if you're trying to scare up some vaccine sales to generate billions of dollars in profits for the drug companies. In the absence of any actual science, just invoke fear! (Hey, it worked for the Patriot Act, too...)

 

Step 5) Remind people that they are not doctors and therefore don't know anything. Then quote some doctor who's pro-vaccine (and probably taking kickbacks from some pharmaceutical company that's been caught committing a felony crime) and declare that no one can question them because they're a doctor. Doctors are God, didn't you know? Just ask all the victims of thalidomide... or Vioxx.

 

Step 6) Strip off the plastic coating on both ends of an extension cord, exposing the wires. Attach the two wires on one end to the temples of your skull, then attach the two exposed wires on the other end to the exposed slots of a live electrical outlet in your home. You are now "WIRED." (Want a free subscription?) This process will destroy any critical thinking regions of your cerebrum, disabling the annoying ability to think for yourself (which can interfere with what the vaccine industry wants you to think instead). Once achieved, you're half-way qualified to being a vaccine zealot, unhindered by critical thinking skills!

 

(Don't forget to grunt, moan and leave your mouth draping open from time to time, or the whole effect will be ruined...)

 

Step 7) Defend mercury as safe. It's not that bad, really. What's a little mercury in your shot anyway? Ignore these inconvenient facts: A typical flu vaccine shot solution is 50,000 parts per billion of mercury. The EPA classifies any substance with more than 200 parts per billion as hazardous waste. (The EPA limit in drinking water is 2 parts per billion.) Thus, the mercury density in a vaccine is 25,000% higher than the level required to be considered hazardous waste. This is injected directly into the bloodstream of infants, children, expectant mothers and senior citizens. What could possibly be dangerous about that?

 

Step 8) Find a bunch of other flu vaccine zealots and quote each other. This is the best part about being a vaccine zealot: It's social! Instead of quoting any actual science to back up your non-position (because there isn't any), all you have to do is quote each other! "The CDC says..." and at the CDC, they say, "The FDA says..." and at the FDA, they say, "The drug maker says..." and at the drug maker, they say, "The researchers said..." and the researchers were quoting the CDC! (I think I remember playing this game in kindergarten... but then I grew up.)

 

Step 9) Tell everyone you're going to receive the flu vaccine yourself, even if you aren't. This creates the impression that you actually believe the vaccine is both safe and effective, even when you secretly suspect it is neither. Of course, no one will really know whether you got the shot or not, so you can still just fake it by claiming you did when you really didn't.

 

Step 10) If all else fails, babble incoherently in a technical medical jargon. Use large Latin words that sound educated. Glare scornfully at all the "small words people." Whatever you say, tell people you read it in a "peer-reviewed medical journal" or picked it up in a "continuing medical education seminar" (almost all of which are sponsored by drug companies, by the way). Hang medical school diplomas on the wall in plain view, preferably over your head (if there's still room there). Tell people how important you are and why no one else is even qualified to ask questions about flu vaccines. Keep up the front!

 

And that, my zombie friends, is how to pull off being a swine flu vaccine zealot. Always carry a spare needle with you, too, because you never know when you're going to need to take a jab at somebody.

 

Coming up next... How to start your own swine flu vaccine cult! (Hint: It all starts at medical school...)

 

In the mean time, folks, keep drinkin' that Thimerosal Kool-Aid. To the three obvious here-your are so advanced at your research that you will immediately know the source of course!yahooBuzzArticleHeadline = "How to be a swine flu vaccine zealot (satire)";yahooBuzzArticleCategory = "health";yahooBuzzArticleType = "text";yahooBuzzArticleId = window.location.href;

 

Step 11 Set aside some money so you can afford to chip in for the funerals of the children of those who don't believe in getting their children vaccinated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cipro
So I've put together this handy guide to help them along:

 

Copyright infringement is a crime.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ayala

Try reading every word of the post einstyne-right to the very bottom.Do they have a vaccine for people such as yourself that can't read or think clearly other then the blind leading the blind herd mentality.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mailman

Hey now! That phrase was in the original work! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ayala

Severe ignorance is rampant on this forum for topics other then "can i buy herseys dark chcolate and spam in cebu"or "how long did it take for you to get into your girlfriends pants.Other then that there is severe ignorance.Try commenting,Mason,about all those children who were serverely harmed for life by vaccines or who died from them.But by the reply you gave here,I don't even have to guess that you have not a single clue about what you spew.Join locktite and on in 2.2 other clowns who walk around with there noses up everybodys ass trying to sniff out there next thought.For they have no depth of anything about anything,absurdity queens.

 

 

Step 11 Set aside some money so you can afford to chip in for the funerals of the children of those who don't believe in getting their children vaccinated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ayala

I know not one parent whose children are not vaccinated that did not vaccinate because of fear.Intelligence yes,a different lifestyle then lazy pork pounding apartame gulpping,dunkin donuts stalking,mcdonalds craving,bet ya can't eat just one americans-yes.People who are well informed-yes.folks who actually can think independantly-yes.people who cry out-but everybodys doing that,everybody says that,everybody did that-No.People who actually love and respect there children-yes.Fear is what the bob,on in 2 and locktite exist on.Its there main diet.Obviously you fear you will catch something without getting every vaccines big pharm comes up with.This exposes the fact that you are not mentally or physically in good health,actually nowhere's near it.But this is the true epidemic in the USA,ignorance thinking they can actually think clearly.If you have a thousand dummys on a deserted island,are there really any dummys-no-of course not,what you have is varyings degress of dumminess.The least dumb is einstyne.

 

 

 

 

Edited by ayala

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cipro
... they have no depth of anything about anything ....

 

Care to use some of your 'depth' to expound on why Measles killed 408 in the US in 1962 and afflicted 481,530, yet by 1982 only 1,714 had Measles and 2 died? Go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jay

Another one bites the dust. Thank God for the ignore list!

do-not-feed-the-troll.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lin

Ten EAsy Steps To Become Swine Flu Zealotssss

 

Swine flu vaccine zealots are like zombies... they just keep coming at you, mindless... heartless... empty-headed and a tad funky on the smell, too. But I've noticed from observing the behavior of a few such zealots that not all of them fully comprehend precisely how to act like a mindless vaccine zealot. There's more to it than just parroting whatever the FDA says. You actually have to get with the zealot program if you want to be taken seriously as a swine flu vaccine zealot.

 

So I've put together this handy guide to help them along:

 

Step 1) Loudly proclaim your vaccines are backed by "science," but when critics ask you to produce that science, just tell them you don't have to because "everybody knows they work." (Then grunt and paw at the air from time to time for effect...)

 

Step 2) Practice scoffing. Scoffing is an important skill for swine flu vaccine zealots. When someone asks an intelligent question like, "Where are the placebo-controlled studies that show flu vaccines work at all?" simply scoff at them. This avoids having to answer the question because, as you know, there are no such studies.

 

Step 3) Practice making people feel guilty for not getting the flu shot. Blame them for pandemic. Just ignore the fact that the shot itself has zero ability to actually prevent the spread of influenza and focus on what works: Guilt!

 

Step 4) Spread more fear! Guilt and fear go together like peanut butter and jelly on processed white bread -- a favorite zombie food! In combination, they work like gangbusters if you're trying to scare up some vaccine sales to generate billions of dollars in profits for the drug companies. In the absence of any actual science, just invoke fear! (Hey, it worked for the Patriot Act, too...)

 

Step 5) Remind people that they are not doctors and therefore don't know anything. Then quote some doctor who's pro-vaccine (and probably taking kickbacks from some pharmaceutical company that's been caught committing a felony crime) and declare that no one can question them because they're a doctor. Doctors are God, didn't you know? Just ask all the victims of thalidomide... or Vioxx.

 

Step 6) Strip off the plastic coating on both ends of an extension cord, exposing the wires. Attach the two wires on one end to the temples of your skull, then attach the two exposed wires on the other end to the exposed slots of a live electrical outlet in your home. You are now "WIRED." (Want a free subscription?) This process will destroy any critical thinking regions of your cerebrum, disabling the annoying ability to think for yourself (which can interfere with what the vaccine industry wants you to think instead). Once achieved, you're half-way qualified to being a vaccine zealot, unhindered by critical thinking skills!

 

(Don't forget to grunt, moan and leave your mouth draping open from time to time, or the whole effect will be ruined...)

 

Step 7) Defend mercury as safe. It's not that bad, really. What's a little mercury in your shot anyway? Ignore these inconvenient facts: A typical flu vaccine shot solution is 50,000 parts per billion of mercury. The EPA classifies any substance with more than 200 parts per billion as hazardous waste. (The EPA limit in drinking water is 2 parts per billion.) Thus, the mercury density in a vaccine is 25,000% higher than the level required to be considered hazardous waste. This is injected directly into the bloodstream of infants, children, expectant mothers and senior citizens. What could possibly be dangerous about that?

 

Step 8) Find a bunch of other flu vaccine zealots and quote each other. This is the best part about being a vaccine zealot: It's social! Instead of quoting any actual science to back up your non-position (because there isn't any), all you have to do is quote each other! "The CDC says..." and at the CDC, they say, "The FDA says..." and at the FDA, they say, "The drug maker says..." and at the drug maker, they say, "The researchers said..." and the researchers were quoting the CDC! (I think I remember playing this game in kindergarten... but then I grew up.)

 

Step 9) Tell everyone you're going to receive the flu vaccine yourself, even if you aren't. This creates the impression that you actually believe the vaccine is both safe and effective, even when you secretly suspect it is neither. Of course, no one will really know whether you got the shot or not, so you can still just fake it by claiming you did when you really didn't.

 

Step 10) If all else fails, babble incoherently in a technical medical jargon. Use large Latin words that sound educated. Glare scornfully at all the "small words people." Whatever you say, tell people you read it in a "peer-reviewed medical journal" or picked it up in a "continuing medical education seminar" (almost all of which are sponsored by drug companies, by the way). Hang medical school diplomas on the wall in plain view, preferably over your head (if there's still room there). Tell people how important you are and why no one else is even qualified to ask questions about flu vaccines. Keep up the front!

 

And that, my zombie friends, is how to pull off being a swine flu vaccine zealot. Always carry a spare needle with you, too, because you never know when you're going to need to take a jab at somebody.

 

Coming up next... How to start your own swine flu vaccine cult! (Hint: It all starts at medical school...)

 

In the mean time, folks, keep drinkin' that Thimerosal Kool-Aid. To the three obvious here-your are so advanced at your research that you will immediately know the source of course!yahooBuzzArticleHeadline = "How to be a swine flu vaccine zealot (satire)";yahooBuzzArticleCategory = "health";yahooBuzzArticleType = "text";yahooBuzzArticleId = window.location.href;

Zealots and fanatics never have any questions. Only answers. A bit like you ayala.....

 

****************************************

 

Egotism dulls the pain of Stupidity

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mrpitt

Severe ignorance is rampant on this forum for topics other then "can i buy herseys dark chcolate and spam in cebu"or "how long did it take for you to get into your girlfriends pants.Other then that there is severe ignorance.Try commenting,Mason,about all those children who were serverely harmed for life by vaccines or who died from them.But by the reply you gave here,I don't even have to guess that you have not a single clue about what you spew.Join locktite and on in 2.2 other clowns who walk around with there noses up everybodys ass trying to sniff out there next thought.For they have no depth of anything about anything,absurdity queens.

 

:wink:

 

A real people person! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..